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7/21/2007 7:45:20 PM	Tell us
queenofhearts61 Seymour, IN age: 61	Many of us would like to hear interesting stories of your travels through life to bring you to your spiritual understanding.
7/25/2007 10:44:43 AM	Tell us
lunawoman Whittier, CA age: 46	Abandonment, has been my lifetheme. wheather on purpose, or out of my control. has always been followed me through life. This pain started to evolve into a self destructive pattern. And you know what got me through it? lots of hard work, and Faith.
7/25/2007 10:47:23 AM	Tell us
chinatown_girl Oyster Bay, NY age: 18	i always like ceremony and magic.
7/25/2007 12:05:21 PM	Tell us
incarnatewings Kingston, ON age: 52	Throughout my life and from time to time, I step away from the safety of all that is familiar. I am curious about people’s lives. I find people who possess a spark about their being. Without a doubt, these people offer up gifts and treasures unknown to me before. Not in a superficial way, I am always so very grateful and honoured to have met them. They are translators, housewives, mail couriers, spiritual leaders, horseback riding instructors, engineers, fishermen, farmers, young children, teenagers, elderly. They live in quiet rural areas and lazy fishing villages, …and crazy bedazzling mega-cities like Las Vegas. They also live in Morocco, Spain, Guam, Bali or down the street from me… but, they’re all the same - they all possess that spark. I ask these people to tell me a story. A story about their living. Sometimes, even one grain of a moment in their life seems to hold more substance than the whole of others lives. On at least three occasions, we do not speak the same language, yet we sit together for a time and communicate. These people are my heros. They feed my hungry spirit. I keep the stories of life’s heroes in the same manner as I keep any other collection. Something draws me to the beauty. I want to know how every inch of it looks and feels. Explore the peaks and the valleys of existence.
7/25/2007 12:36:04 PM	Tell us
queenofhearts61 Seymour, IN age: 61	I understand what you are saying Incarnate, there is so much we do not know that we can find out some of it from each other. Everyone does have something about them that makes them unlike everyone else and one of those somethings is their unique experience in life.
9/27/2007 6:30:18 PM	Tell us
missette Knoxville, TN age: 65	queenofhearts61-I'd like to share this story with you --I lost my husband last Dec.he had liver trouble he didn't drink or smoke. He only lasted a yr. after he found out.We had a little black mini chihuahua its name was Penny.My daughter had gotten it for my birthday and we had had it for 11 yr's.It was my baby and i was its master until my husband got mashed upin the mines when she was 2 yr's.Then she went to him and he was her master.She would try to protect him and go every where he went.When she was about 10 he found out he had liver trouble when he got so bad we had to transport him to Lexington,Ky. While he was there he said honey do you think God will let you have animals in heaven.I said honey Jesus is coming back the last time on a big white horse and besides he said he would give you the desires of your heard so i don't see why not.He said well in that case Penny won't eat with me gone i think i will just ask the Lord if Penny can go with me then.I tried to comfort him but he passed away the next day.and the night we went to his funeral and when we come home Penny had crawled u his pillow and died. This is a true story you see Queen i know i'll see them both again.God bless you all.
9/27/2007 6:38:50 PM	Tell us
libra75 Lowell, AR age: 32	My spiritual understanding.......where was god when my wife had the barrel of that rifle in her mouth?
9/27/2007 7:11:07 PM	Tell us
lovinglife437 Meadville, PA age: 44	I have been self-employed for 16 years. 12 years ago I was beginning to grow my faith again after a long hiatus. I struggled with whether to keep my store open on Good Friday. I felt I should close it, but I was SO broke... I decided I would stay open, but I would give the money I made that day back to God. A half hour after I opened, in walked a girl who placed the largest order in the history of my store. The rest of the day was good also. How about that. Sales stayed up...... for about a week or two. But, being as broke as I was, I needed that money to keep my store functioning, so my suppliers did not cut us off. I kept saying "later - I can't give it right now". Week, after week, after week, sales fell. I was in the middle of what was supposed to be my prime season, and my store was empty. I was soon to lose my business. God had been nagging at me for not keeping my promise and honoring Him when He had SHOWN me what faith can do. I knew how much I was to give to the church. I kept trying to "re-figure" it - maybe I should take some out for overhead... (this is me, trying to outwit God). 8 weeks went by and finally I knew I had to give it all, painful as it was. I took it to church that Sunday. Monday the people were there. and more people. I set record sales that month. The next month, I broke that record. The next month, I broke the record again. My store never again sunk to that depth. Years later, in the middle of a nightmare divorce, I had a sick toddler with high medical bills, I had given up on my "new store" in my despair and forgotten that God is there in my grief, all I had to do was turn to Him but I didn't. I scrounged for every $20 for food. I started work one morning, knowing one of the property taxes HAD to be paid that day. I sat in my chair and cried. I prayed that God help me, I had nothing left. FIFTEEN minutes later the phone rang, some advertising agency in NYC needed a ridiculous amount of one of my products for a big New Year's Eve party. The profit - $5 more than I needed for the taxes. I learned that if I quit trying to depend on myself, and put my life in God's hands, He will take care of me and my son.
9/27/2007 8:08:48 PM	Tell us
libra75 Lowell, AR age: 32	Guess god was just ignoring my wife that day, was'nt he?
9/27/2007 8:54:47 PM	Tell us
iron_ranger Owatonna, MN age: 40	Ive had many spiritual experiences in the last few years including a conversion experience. they have all been about hope and love. i found myself in an alhoholic relationship after being divorced for over 2 yrs. i was in church, bible studies, working hard, staying out of trouble... and there i was in an open AA meeting after promising i would help someone "get better". i was sitting in this meeting and thoughts started rolling in my head..... my great great grandfather was an alcoholic, great grandmother was in the temperance movement and her brother a bootlegger, my grandmother and her sister married alcoholics, grandpa an alcoholic, dad an alocoholic and gambling addict, aunt married a drug addict, uncle drug addict, my mom married three alcoholics, older brother drug addict, younger brother alcoholic in the making.......... there must be something wrong with me i thought that i choose to be here tonight with this woman. yet again in my life i felt so alone.... and abondoned and scared. my mom had managed to get herself into alanon in her second marriage and had almost 20yrs of recovery. she had left my brother and i when we were young and i barely saw her or chatted at all. if i did it was social. so in my time of dispair and fear i knew i needed to see my mom. i wanted what she had...... so up north i went. i walked into her home office and told her that i was going to alanon and that there was something wrong with me. she didnt say anything. she handed me books, talked to me briefly about the program and i was on my way out the door. right before i was walking out the door - i turned and gave her a hug..... and i felt hope again and knew how much my mom had really loved me through the years.... she hugged me back and said that i would be okay. i felt hope inside me and that hope was the Spirit which i had felt before. 2yrs later i was asked to speak at an open aa roundup and tell my story of recovery. my mom introduced me...... it was very emotional. i think about those moments and know that something spiritual was with my mom and me and that we had refound each other.... one of many miracles in my life.
9/27/2007 9:24:07 PM	Tell us
lovinglife437 Meadville, PA age: 44	Libra I do not know the right things to say to you in your grief, but my heart goes out to you. I do not know "why" this happened to your wife, to you. Recently a man spoke in my church whose son had hung himself, among other tragedies in his life. I do not know if this helps in any way, but this is what I "got" out of his speaking. God gives us free will. God does not force us to do anything, he wants us to choose to follow Him, in his son's case to turn to Him and choose to live. He didn't know why his son did what he did instead of calling him on the phone, turning to a friend, turning to God; what he does know, is that God carried him in his time of loss. I cannot begin to imagine the emotions you carry; I can only try to relate my experiences in case something I say gives you comfort in any way. I am not ashamed to say, I don't know WHY I was sexually abused when I was a kid. I don't know why I was raped when I was 20. What I do know, is that I don't need to know 'why' anymore (although it took years to get to that point). I know that I took the strength I gained from recovering from the abuse, and I use what I have learned to help other people heal to the best of my ability. One of my writings was used about ten years ago in a training seminar for psychologists; imagine, me with no education, having something to offer those being trained to heal. The events of my solitary life would somehow help others! Even bad things teach; God does not make the bad things happen to us - that's what Satan is out there doing. But He can make good come from our despair if we put it in His Hands. There is a woman who is trained in grief counseling by Hospice, who has suffered incredible devastation in her life. She writes Christian books & poetry; her book that focuses on grief is called "When Shadows Fall" by Christene Luthey. She has been through multiple losses and speaks from experience. There's no sugar-coating in this book, and it is powerful. I highly recommend it.
9/28/2007 4:15:42 AM	Tell us
queenofhearts61 Seymour, IN age: 61	There are many things in life that are not understood but all I know is if she choose to go out that way that was a choise she was allowed to make. I have been to that point in my life so I understand how it feels to just want the pain to go away. If you will just try to understand that usually it is an illness called depression that causes these people to feel that they cannot go on. It is not that they do not love it is because they feel too much that makes it unbareable. If you accept that this is the choice she made because she could not make any other maybe you will be able to let some of the pain go. I am glad this thread was brought back up because it is so important for us to share the things that make us so alike, because there are so many things that make us different. [Edited 9/28/2007 4:17:26 AM]
9/28/2007 4:32:46 AM	Tell us
klassykitten Toccoa, GA age: 50 online now!	At a point right now haven't been at in a long time...no one really knows because I don't tell...so often what shows on the outside never gives clues to what is actually going on inside. But God reminded me this morning with this thread he loves me.
9/28/2007 5:09:04 AM	Tell us
lovinglife437 Meadville, PA age: 44	Klassy I don't know your struggles but I am excited to hear you say this. Sometimes we're just sitting alone watching the world when suddenly you can feel God sitting beside you, and He nudges you with his elbow and says "know what? I love you" and He smiles upon you. If you do ever decide to "tell", we'll be right here to support you. And if you never "tell", we'll be right here to support you.
9/28/2007 5:57:54 AM	Tell us
nonickname49 Belchertown, MA age: 57 online now!	For me getting to the point of where I am now...has been a gradual learning experience...I believe all of our experiences can teach us something, with me you would of thought my combat time in Vietnam would of awaken me...but with youth, you move on and the everyday happenings of life get in the way and with war you try to forget. From the mid 1970's on it was a struggle from within...not knowing why, and at times not caring, and then caring. I guess we call it soul searching...My religious upbringing, battling with my inner spirit..I was on the move, searching reading, anything and everything I could on spirituality, religion etc. I allowed myself to remain in a long term marriage that was bad, combined with the within me, wanting to know who I was and if I would ever have any purpose in life. I became stagnant, just existing day to day, each day a repeat. TURNING POINT #1 In 1997 I became severely ill, doctors never knew what happened. Without going into details, I almost died.. I was scared, the cold the dark, the undescribable aloneness.. but my experience was far more incredable...either way the message was that I would have 3 lessons, that would give me what I needed to know. You would of thought I would have been appreciative of my renewed life...that I had a divine intervention as I call it. But the drama and negativity and my stagnation continue.. preventing me from moving forward. 3 years later I am sick again, same problem, only worse..I was so weak, barely utter a whisper, my friend where I worked at a Navy base, was the chaplain, he stayed with me into the night, no preaching salvation, just being there, he knew I was slipping away, he held me cried and prayed..similar experience after I died, but it was not my time...without details that was lesson#2 My eyes heart and soul were definitely awaken...my wife did not like my new outlook, things became worse, at home. I was ridiculed and told I was a crazy man but would not budge on who I became...3 years,after the illness...on a country road, a truck towing a trailer, was coming at me head on, when I realized I was definitely leaving this world I was at peace the car had a fullness of silence that could be felt, I wasn't alone. I took my foot off the brake,as I was attempting to go for a ditch, I can not talk about my third experience...because ..lets just say, my whole life is different now... sorry for being long winded. In Love and Light Paul

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