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Forums: Groups: 20's: Why do I have to be mean to get a girl to be attracted to me?
5/17/2008 7:16:40 AM Why do I have to be mean to get a girl to be attracted to me?  

seth__
Somerset, KY
age: 19

 If I'm nice to a girl she wants nothing to do with me!!! Last night I was with this girl who is a freind of mine and she didn't have any money but she was thirsty and wanted popcorn but we wern't on a date so she didn't want me to pay for it. So I told her just tell me what you want stop being Bit*h. She knew I didn't care to pay for it. We get into an argument she ends up really punching me.
She kisses me!!! She would have slept with me but I was mad at her and I woudn't (and there wasn't time any way.)
WTF is up with females??

We have known each other for a long time and we have slept together before but she left me because "the spark was gone" she said she didn't love me anymore.

and that was only because I crowded her and she is afraid of commitment

(For the record I have only slept with two people, I am picky and think sex is useless without love. enjoyable maybe but useless)


The question is: Why does being mean to females turn them on?
5/17/2008 8:32:59 AM Why do I have to be mean to get a girl to be attracted to me?  

liferator
Statesville, NC
age: 27

 man your asking the age old question its that way for a reason don't ask me why I have wondered it too. The only thing that I can tell you is when they say men are form Mars women are from Venus and we meet each other on earth there is a lot of truth to it. I have heard it said many times before "You treat them like shit they keep coming back you be nice and they run." I know where you are coming from about women and sex without love. The only thing that I can figure is women think if a man fights with her that she must be worth fighting for if your nice to them than you don't really care about her. Now a man thinks if he wants to keep her he will do anything for her, if shes not worth it then we don't care about anything about them. When a man says I don't care we mean I don't care. If a woman says I don't care what she means is I really do care but I want you to pry it out of me in a hour discussion. We're just wired different. But do not change yourself if you can't look at yourself in the mirror each night and like what you see then you should not be with her.
5/17/2008 10:39:29 AM Why do I have to be mean to get a girl to be attracted to me?  

butlergurl81
Butler, IN
age: 26

 Well, I don't think that it is the fact that you are being mean. When you are mean, it gets us mad.Gets the blood flowin.... It's the rush.

However, I prefer a guy be nice to me. Just can't find any in my neck of the woods! lol
5/17/2008 3:25:14 PM Why do I have to be mean to get a girl to be attracted to me?  

ak2292
Westland, MI
age: 21

 Since you mentioned she and you were friends prior to the incident, I guess you should think about her personality and the situation. What I mean is, have you ever yelled at her like that before? If so, how did she respond? Did things resolve? Okay, now think about the present situation, does anything you know about her from the past apply here?.

Now, if you still don't know after giving these initial questions some thought, you might just have an unprecedented situation that you have to deal with. In this case, I think you need to explore your own feelings. Did you mind that she kissed you? How do you feel about her now?

As far as being "mean" and then her kissing you, I think that shows that she is confused about her feelings, which feelings as much as we try to rationalize them, aren't always rational. I'm sure you know what I mean. Maybe, yelling at her like you did made something click for her, and she knew you well enough to see beyond your words and into your true heart and feelings. OR, perhaps, it really was spur of the moment and she just did it. Maybe neither of you know...I think that is something you and her will eventually find out.

Now more generally here, I think you should take a look at David Deangelo's Double your Dating book, you can find it on the web for 20 bucks or you might be able to find someone who has it. Deangelo talks a lot about the "bad boy image" and shows you how this CAN be ATTRACTIVE to women. He goes into a lot of the psychology that can be helpful to young daters like us. Basically, bad boys are confident, can be mean, but they are a challenge to women. But, this sort of persona may also hide a real WOLF in sheep's clothing, and overall, that is NOT what a woman is looking for.

But, the nice guys who are always nice, always at her beckoning, have a different sort of problem. She might lose interest in a guy who is always there, always calls, and always does what she wants. But, to inspire attraction you don't have to be an "A hole", you just have to be unpredictable sometimes. Which in this case, seems like you were unpredictable. You might have sparked attraction. Though Deangelo would warn you not to change into an "a hole" to get her and not to treat women badly. There is certainly a difference between a man that inspires attraction and an A hole. Hope I have been able to help just a little bit, BUT use this information wisely though, it can be misleading at first read. (use at your own discretion.)



[Edited 5/17/2008 3:50:28 PM]
5/22/2008 2:17:16 AM Why do I have to be mean to get a girl to be attracted to me?  

amberine
Plover, WI
age: 28

 wowsers...if you have to be mean to someone to get attention i would deffinatly stay away from that person....
5/22/2008 7:26:03 AM Why do I have to be mean to get a girl to be attracted to me?  

kahne06
Festus, MO
age: 29
Quote from butlergurl81:
Well, I don't think that it is the fact that you are being mean. When you are mean, it gets us mad.Gets the blood flowin.... It's the rush.

However, I prefer a guy be nice to me. Just can't find any in my neck of the woods! lol


You should try expanding your rain forest
5/22/2008 6:46:46 PM Why do I have to be mean to get a girl to be attracted to me?  

jayfro82
Belvidere, IL
age: 26

 I'm on board. I am a nice guy, and care about their feelings. However, trying to get a girl is a different story. I am nice to girl I am interested in and she doesn't give me a second look or just talk to me like we are friends, but when a friend or brother of mine starts treating her like dirt and calling her a b*tch or sl*t she immediately starts flirting with him. But this is what I have found out about why the girls stay with the jerks or go with them and not the nice ones. Guys, you ready for this and I am telling the truth because I have been threw it. When a nice guy does something nice its no big deal, but when a jerk does something nice, its time to throw a big f*ing parade because it rarely happens.
5/22/2008 7:53:24 PM Why do I have to be mean to get a girl to be attracted to me?  

liferator
Statesville, NC
age: 27
Quote from kahne06:
Quote from butlergurl81:
Well, I don't think that it is the fact that you are being mean. When you are mean, it gets us mad.Gets the blood flowin.... It's the rush.

However, I prefer a guy be nice to me. Just can't find any in my neck of the woods! lol


You should try expanding your rain forest

we nice laid back guys exist we are a hard creature to locate when we are under you nose its just other specimens have a good camo to make you women think you found one



[Edited 5/22/2008 7:55:35 PM]
5/22/2008 11:28:41 PM Why do I have to be mean to get a girl to be attracted to me?  

mountainzen
Fort Collins, CO
age: 22

 I've often thought about ditching the good guy approach to be a total douche bag, seeing how well it works with some of my old co-workers and just observations. The d*cks always get the girls and I do believe it has something to do with their arrogance and confidence. So in light of this information - who wants to be my ho b*tches? lol, just kiddin'. I just can't find it in myself to be a d*ck. i guess i'll remain single..
5/23/2008 1:47:20 AM Why do I have to be mean to get a girl to be attracted to me?  

doublewink
Junction City, KS
age: 20

 Really its just acting mean but treating her like a queen. I usually go for the guys who i know will stand up for me but wont treat me like shit...
Obviously you need to find someone else... being mean isnt what NORMAL girls want
5/23/2008 1:48:40 PM Why do I have to be mean to get a girl to be attracted to me?  

ddv1370
Chandler, AZ
age: 28 online now!

 It's just like when I was in grade school. If I liked a girl I would pull her hair and make her eat paste. Worked everytime. Maybe that is why I am still single.