| 5/21/2008 8:28:19 AM |
Sex and dating for the socially challenged... |
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minx420
Oshkosh, WI
age: 36
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Ok, I need to know is there a timeline or rules to follow when it comes to sex and dating? How long should I wait before becoming intimate with a man. 3 dates? What? Is there no socially acceptable ruling on this? I am totally new to this dating thing and this is one of those things Momma never taught me so, I am smart enough to know I need some help... And though I am socially challenged (reserved... I only talk when I have something to say... and I tend to miss the more obvious 'i like you' cues, at times) I realize that since my mother has been married to my father for over 40 years she would not recall dating, and even if she did, I am sure that dating has morphed into something totally different in the elapsed time... So...who better to ask than the people on a dating site right? I feel like there is a protocol to this dating thing I am missing that everyone else has... I do not just want sex, and am not looking for a husband, but I do want a steady bf(and am pretty damned far from the nunnery). I cannot depend on my judgement (which has proven flawed on several occasions) and my hormonal urges (definately not a good idea).  
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| 5/21/2008 8:30:10 AM |
Sex and dating for the socially challenged... |
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honeyheart95
Elkins, WV
age: 35
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<----as her pen and paper ready to take notes..
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| 5/21/2008 8:32:59 AM |
Sex and dating for the socially challenged... |
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pedro_2079
Peterborough, ON
age: 20
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there really isn't a social norm all ppl want these days is honesty just be honest with him & urself ok? ul be fine
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| 5/21/2008 10:57:34 AM |
Sex and dating for the socially challenged... |
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minx420
Oshkosh, WI
age: 36
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I am probably one of the most brutally honest people you will ever meet Pedro, However, it is not helping me because others are not... I am so honest I get in trouble for it at work, believe it or not. I realize there is no hard and fast rules on this subject so really I am asking for opinions, personal preferences, and just basic thoughts on the subject. I'll borrow what I can use and jettison the rest.
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| 5/21/2008 11:40:25 AM |
Sex and dating for the socially challenged... |
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chillytoes
Braidwood, IL
age: 46
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I'm in the same situation as you are minx and like honey, I'm taking
notes. Socially Challenged...I like that. Very gently put.
When I started this venture I swore to myself I wouldn't have sex
unless it was with the man I married. Now, it's a bit different.
I've come to the conclusion, when it is right, I and I alone will
make that decision for myself. The one I find, I would hope would have
better judgement then I. LOL...(my hormones tend to get me into trouble
in this area) I tend to think I know it all sometimes.
When it's right, I figure, I will know it. All I know right now,
he's gotta make it past the first date. JMO 
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| 5/21/2008 11:52:22 AM |
Sex and dating for the socially challenged... |
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bry11ca
Buellton, CA
age: 43
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Wait until it begins to feel right and then talk about it before you do it. You gotta know a little about what you are gettin into . . . or into you.
Bry 
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| 5/21/2008 4:31:10 PM |
Sex and dating for the socially challenged... |
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minx420
Oshkosh, WI
age: 36
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 I have always had a way with words
The problem I have, Is I believe my judgement to be flawed in this respect, I get mixed up between what feels good and what feels right somewhere along the line and make bad choices. This is why I am asking for suggestions that have worked for others in order to give enough time to get to know someone so that I do not make the stupid mistakes I have made in the past. Sort of a safety catch, in order to get me to pause and pay attention to things. Otherwize I am jumping headlong into things without any thought. And end up getting hurt or hurting others, neither of which feels good to me.
[Edited 5/21/2008 4:42:34 PM]
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| 5/21/2008 4:33:04 PM |
Sex and dating for the socially challenged... |
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outgoing37
Norcross, GA
age: 37
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Girl.
Its your body.You both should do it when its consensual.I dont think any less of a woman who does or doesnt.its all up to the adults.
[Edited 5/22/2008 2:32:08 AM]
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| 5/21/2008 4:38:31 PM |
Sex and dating for the socially challenged... |
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inspector65
Saint Augustine, FL
age: 43
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I usually wait untill she says go for it tiger. You know dont want that rape thing hanging over my head. But really there is no rules it happends when it happends. Could be 1 date or 10 dates. Just depends on the both of you.
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| 5/21/2008 4:45:33 PM |
Sex and dating for the socially challenged... |
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william9_17
Kelseyville, CA
age: 23
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Ok, I need to know is there a timeline or rules to follow when it comes to sex and dating? How long should I wait before becoming intimate with a man. 3 dates? What? Is there no socially acceptable ruling on this? I am totally new to this dating thing and this is one of those things Momma never taught me so, I am smart enough to know I need some help... And though I am socially challenged (reserved... I only talk when I have something to say... and I tend to miss the more obvious 'i like you' cues, at times) I realize that since my mother has been married to my father for over 40 years she would not recall dating, and even if she did, I am sure that dating has morphed into something totally different in the elapsed time... So...who better to ask than the people on a dating site right? I feel like there is a protocol to this dating thing I am missing that everyone else has... I do not just want sex, and am not looking for a husband, but I do want a steady bf(and am pretty damned far from the nunnery). I cannot depend on my judgement (which has proven flawed on several occasions) and my hormonal urges (definately not a good idea).
It all depends on your connection with your partner and your comfort level with them and besides just becouse you're dating someone doesn't mean you have to do them and if you're really nervous ease into it...give the guy a hand job or have him go down on you and see how you handle it.
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| 5/21/2008 5:28:23 PM |
Sex and dating for the socially challenged... |
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minx420
Oshkosh, WI
age: 36
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So nobody has even a general rule of thumb even? No Guidelines? No Emily Post of the dating world Huh? Everyone Is just going with the flow? Rules can be bent, Guidelines can be flexible for the right person... All of this I understand, but generally speaking, How long does it take to recognize basic personality characteristics that are desirable/undesireable in order to avoid making a bad decision? Obviously this is not a decision which should rest on first impressions as they can be the most fallible (and let's face it, shallow) reasons to or not to go out with someone. Or am I wrong??
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| 5/21/2008 5:32:44 PM |
Sex and dating for the socially challenged... |
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chopperbabe
Selah, WA
age: 47
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Let's face there are double standards for lots of things. One thing about sex on first dates is that if you are easy at spreading your legs then you're considered a slut and if you don't then you're considered a prude. If a man is willing to wait a few days then he is willing to want more from you than just what is between your legs.
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| 5/21/2008 5:35:27 PM |
Sex and dating for the socially challenged... |
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redneckhippy
Pottsboro, TX
age: 40
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So nobody has even a general rule of thumb even? No Guidelines?
Living or loving by some unseen, and unknown person's
rules and guidelinesseems rather foolish.
There are really only ever two people in your life who
should have any say in when in a relationship, is the
best time to initiate sex. Those two people are
you and your partner.
It really is nobody else's frickin' business.
[edited for no apparent reason]
[Edited 5/21/2008 5:37:37 PM]
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| 5/21/2008 5:44:39 PM |
Sex and dating for the socially challenged... |
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william9_17
Kelseyville, CA
age: 23
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So nobody has even a general rule of thumb even? No Guidelines? No Emily Post of the dating world Huh? Everyone Is just going with the flow? Rules can be bent, Guidelines can be flexible for the right person... All of this I understand, but generally speaking, How long does it take to recognize basic personality characteristics that are desirable/undesireable in order to avoid making a bad decision? Obviously this is not a decision which should rest on first impressions as they can be the most fallible (and let's face it, shallow) reasons to or not to go out with someone. Or am I wrong??
Hey you're never going to know if your parters a prick and there's nothing in the hand book that'll keep you from maiking mistakes so the best thing to do is if you have any doubts keep your pants on.
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| 5/21/2008 6:48:57 PM |
Sex and dating for the socially challenged... |
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minx420
Oshkosh, WI
age: 36
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Chopperbabe has made the most sense to me so far... Also she is very right about the double standard thing, guys can do what they feel like and not get labeled, whereas a woman can very easily be labled for being too quick to jump into bed. Besides, I am socially challenged, sometimes unable to tell the difference between what feels right and what feels good.
PS: I would not be living by another's standards, simply using a protective rule to avoid errors made in the heat of the moment. 'If you always do, what you have always done, you will always get, what you have always gotten', Right? So I am trying to better my methods and myself, certainly there can be nothing wrong with that. I am not availing details of my sex life to you so get off the 'that is a decision between two adults' stuff, because at this point the date is hypothetical and therefore there is only one person, me... Trying to figure out how to not get hurt and not to hurt others in the process of finding a bf. Which, believe it or not, I feel is an honorable goal...
[Edited 5/22/2008 9:23:07 AM]
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