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Why there are no nice guys
by silverfyre at 9/13/2012 1:55:51 AM
Or: Why are there so many a**holes and Players.
Let me start off by offering up a little about my self. I'm 43 and have been in more than a few relationships of varying lengths in the past 23 years of my dating life. In the past year I have looked back on my reationships, read what other people have said about theirs. I thought back on old friends, both "nice guy" and player, and the types of realationships they had.
Here are my general conclusions.
First, I will generalize men into three groups.
The Good Man
The Playa or Player
A MAN
The Good Man is defined by women as Kind, generous, loyal, loving, giving, Romantic, truthful, financially secure, open about his feelings, respectfull, and honest.
The Playa is a defined by women as a cold, heartless, cheating, lying bastard that uses women for his own ends.
A MAN... There hasn't been a definition for a Man since the late 1970's. Let's see.. A man is Confident, takes care of his business, doesn't put up with bullshit, especially not from his woman. He takes responsibility for his actions, and expects those around him to do the same. He is gentle but firm with his woman. He loves and protects her, she loves and cares for him. A single MAN is loved and hated by women. He will date them , bed them, and if they don't live up to his standards, dump them.
So... Men are raised by their mothers to respect and fear woman. The are told that If they are a Good Man, women will be attracted to them. They soon see this is a damm lie.
Women think they want a man this is like them, The Good Man. What they really want is the MAN. What they get is the bad boy or Player. The good man is considered boring or a really good friend.
Then we come to the Good man that plays by the rules and as a result gets walked all over and used by women. He becomes bitter and decides he is not going to take it anymore. It's time to get a little payback. One of two things will happen. either he will just hate women, or he becomes a Player.
Men from puberty onwards have a biological imperative to have as much sex as possible.
In our culture, sexual success with women is admired by male peers. Failure to have sex is viewed with derision and ridicule. So both culturally and biologically, men are under a lot of pressure to have sex. - Polygamy
Women are both culturally and biologically predisposed towards emotional well being and family. In other words to love, be loved, and have babies. - Monogamy
The Result:
"Sho' baby, you know I love you, you the only one in my life. Now come on over here an give yo daddy some lovin."
"Baby I told you, It's just sex with them other girls in the past, With you its making sweet love."
( Yes I know it works out a lot of the time too, but that is a different discussion)
In Conclusion ladies, the Good Man is a woman with a penis, and that is really NOT what you want. The MAN has been driven into (near) extinction, and what you have left are players and abusers.
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