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If you find me...
by grneyegypsy at 4/2/2013 4:45:37 AM
I acknowledge and confess that I did romanticize this system of search among the lost and founds of the leftovers of the broken hearts and broken souls, for a very long time.
I admit, in my own words, that I have abandoned the search of the evolved and mature soul who can match me...nay...who can best me in all but one thing...his needs for me and my presence for the completion of the sum of the source of his happiness, which may only fall short of mine.
I admit, in my own words, that the fire burning in the core of my being, the source of my passion, the flame of my soul, is mine and mine alone. I abandon the quest to warm His heart and his bed by what is only a lover's gift to give.
I admit, in my own words, that I am no man's playmate, and no one's game.
I play now in my own courtyard, surrounded by what sooths and calms and free of all that could make me flee....that I have withdrawn the permission to any man who would have power over me, without the right to earn and to deserve the greatness worthy of that permission.
I have led a life full of great adventures...wars and games...been in the midst of the history of the worlds past and present. I have been a slave...a play thing...a martyr…a scholar…a leader…a follower…a mother…a wh*re…a b*tch…a princess…a duchess…an heir…a pauper…a gypsy…a home maker…a victim…a flirt…a tease…a friend…a lover…a mate…a temptress…a savior...a betrayed…a slayer…and a slayed.
And among all those that I have been, I have never betrayed ME and I have never forsaken the fire which burns so fiercely inside of me.
I choose to rise now, just as a woman….only worthy of a man.
He may choose me, but not have me.
He may desire me, but not satiate me.
He may say he is the one, but have lies in his heart.
He may even have me, but not be able to hold me.
I have stopped desiring the need for the completion of those desires.
I now recognize….in my own words…that I am complete…even without him. I have become the woman I have dreamt, as a girl…fierce and kind and beautiful and caring and irresistible…capable of being The Best friend…The Lover…The Partner…The Mate.. My Own Version of all that a woman should be...the good, the best, and the worst...whichever and whatever it may apply....uniquely and originally my own ME.
He may come one day and profess his existence. But he may only have me, if he is the best of me and me the best of him, and we the best of all that it may come.
If he …the man whom I once called, “The Sum of All My Lost and Founds” may come one day…I WILL not hesitate, nor have fears and doubts. I will surrender fully and completely. He will be mine as I will be his. I will recognize him, as he will know me. The moment will not be lost…the dreams all alive in the embrace of reality….when reality is the greatest manifestation of all that is right and true.
Until then and that day….I am here to be…JUST BE.
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Disclaimer:
Should you choose to accept the challenge and try to contact me, be prepared for the best and the worst.
I have no more patience for the ignorant and the misguided.
I have an abundant supply of tolerance, acceptance, and forgiveness for my man...should I recognize him and answer his call.
Call to me, my man…or forever hold your peace.
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