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Some funny sexy quotes i like by dateshybecca at 7/14/2009 5:24:21 PM FUNNY SEXY QUOTES FOR CARDS "Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer." I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. Every cloud has a silver lining (except for the mushroom shaped ones, which have a lining of Iridium & Strontium 90) The difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know, and I couldn't care less. Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best. Funny Sexy Quotes I'd call you a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be like flogging a dead horse. "God is as real as I am." he assured me, and my faith was restored, for I knew Santa would never lie. People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to pick on rich women than motorcycle gangs. If you can keep your head while those about you are losing theirs, have you considered becoming a guillotine operator?" Never judge a man till you have walked a mile in his shoes, coz by then, he's a mile away, you've got his shoes, and you can say whatever the hell you want to. "Every so often, I try to masturbate a large word into conversation, even if I'm not really sure what it means." "The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette." Funny Sexy Quotes "The pen is mightier than the sword."-Mark Twain The penis mightier than the sword-Much better punctuation Mark We the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much for so long that we are now qualified to do anything with nothing. The glass is neither half empty nor half full. It is twice as large as it needs to be. "The angle of the dangle is equally proportional to the heat of the meat provided that the urge to surge remains constant." If God had wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks "When you're arguing with an idiot make sure the other person isn't doing the same thing!" Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view. Funny Sexy Quotes Booze is the answer. I don't remember the question. If you're one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you. The difference between a lawyer and a rooster is that the rooster gets up in the morning and clucks defiance. Do infants have as much fun in infancy as adults do in adultery? Princess, having sufficient experience with Princes, seeks frog. Funny Sexy Quotes 32 years old is significant, because at 32 you can sleep with someone half your age and not go to jail. The chances of meeting someone with Barbie's human-scale measurements (36-18-33) is 1 in 100,000. The chances of meeting someone with Ken's is 1 in 50. Jesus paid for our sins - now let's get our money's worth. When people say "Oh you just want your cake and eat it too". Well, what good is a bloody cake you can't eat? What should I eat, someone else's cake instead? Exhilaration is that feeling you get just after a great idea hits you, and just before you realize what is wrong with it. Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it is time to get up. Funny Sexy Quotes I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by googling something and finding something else on the way...indeed this website is the result The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. "The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting."-Gloria Leonard "He who asks is a fool for 5 minutes, but he who does not remains a fool forever."-Chinese Proverb "Sex is like a bridge game; if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand." "Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps."-Emo Phillips Funny Sexy Quotes "Chastity is curable, if detected early." "If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast." "I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.""My brain is my second favorite organ. -Woody Allen "No sex is better than bad sex."-Germaine Greer "My husband's German. Every night I get dressed up as Poland and he invades me."-Bette Midler "Give a man free hands, and you'll know where to find them."-Mae West "Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie."-William Shakespeare "It's the good girls that keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time."-Tallulah Bankhead Funny Sexy Quotes "Give me chastity and continence- but not yet."-Saint Augustine "I'd like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they're working on now." "Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy."-Groucho Marx "Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation... The other eight are unimportant."-Henry Miller "If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?"-Bette Midler "If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter."-George Carlin "Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin- it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring."-S. J. Perelman Funny Sexy Quotes "From the moment I was six I felt sexy. And let me tell you it was hell, sheer hell, waiting to do something about it."-Bette Davis