A note to fat chicks:

Comments
terbear1234	4/28/2010 9:18:23 AM Huh. I find that really interesting. Maybe it's your age. While very well written, I don't know that it covers all the bases. Yes, physical attraction is absolutely necessary. But, looks fade. When you find yourself a hot chick with no intelligence, are you going to stick around when the sagging and wrinkles appear? After she's had a couple of kids and her sex drive decreases dramatically, what will keep you with her? Her witty conversation? Most of my male friends would rather have a woman with a few extra pounds and a great personality than a thin chick who is a b*tch. Maybe they're just more mature than you. I chose to date before I lost my weight. That way, I knew I would find a man who would love me for who I am, not for the wrapper. My body is not me--my mind and my heart make up who I am. My boyfriend is lucky in the fact that he loves me for me and when I lose my weight, the package will be even better. And one of the many reasons that I love him is because he's not superficial--he goes so much deeper than that!
ron10000	4/28/2010 9:47:04 AM I think that you make some good points and, on average, they likely do hold up. The thing is there are many exceptions to all those things that may be true on average. My own girls are both heavy but they each have very slender guys. I think the reason is that the guys saw through that to the wonderful bright ladies that they are. Ron10000
revoked	4/28/2010 1:06:16 PM My looks will never fade. Yeah, I said it.
lalagniappe	4/28/2010 4:19:38 PM It's a lot easier for a larger woman to lose a few pounds than it is a toxic woman to change her personality. That's all I have to say.
iamaperson	4/29/2010 6:24:21 AM I have read your comments in the forums too, you are really on a roll aren't you.
catsmam76 online now!	4/29/2010 6:29:26 AM Toxic....yes I see a lot of toxic here.
jennyann71	4/29/2010 6:30:43 AM Well there are a lot of do not like about the opposite sex also and we just do not speak about them """""and you are right we all judge one another and is that right No , but we all do that."""""" Is that why on this dating site we have SO such short men with no money and no position?
deedee158	4/29/2010 6:47:32 AM Okay, now it's my turn! I have read everyone's comments. All seem to have at least one valid point, with the exeption of Revoked. Revoked, please don't take my statement as derogatory, but if you really believe what you said, you are delusional. Now what surprises me, concerning everyone else, is the fact that no one has mention: the are men and women who prefer very heavy mates. I seems as though our little porn expert, is not such an expert after all! Just my opinion. deedee
lkavour92 online now!	4/29/2010 6:47:41 AM If a sleek body were enough to bring love and happiness then all the folks in Hollywood would have enduring marriages. While it is important to try to be the best that we can be appearance wise, what is in the heart is still more important in the long run...As we age, both men and women, that is what will make a relationship last and last happily and satisfyingly. A woman, motivated, can always lose what weight she needs to in order to feel "Pretty" Howeve, an AZZHOLE remains an AZZHOLE even in size 32/32 jeans...
jennyann71	4/29/2010 6:51:44 AM Boy we are on a roll:::Funny how we all hate the truth. Every action a re action?
rosesandsmiles	4/29/2010 7:00:15 AM I see and read a very disturbed young man here. Someone who has been abused, sexual or by a heavy woman as a child. Doug you are only 30 years old and you have so much anger inside of you. Please consider seeking psychological help, it would make the rest of your life a lot easier. Oh! BTW, many women and men are over weight because of a food addiction that is extremely hard to break. Just as a sex addiction is hard to break.
catsmam76 online now!	4/29/2010 7:01:19 AM If perfection were to walk up and offer my the world I would turn and walk away satisfied that as a member of species human it is life's imperfections that create the beauty I see around me.If this keeps up I may yet rant today.
rosesandsmiles	4/29/2010 7:04:49 AM Cat's
jennyann71	4/29/2010 7:07:16 AM Yea cats we has beens called seniors have all the answers that is why we are here to Guide.
pretty_moonpa	4/29/2010 8:18:55 AM What you may find attractive may not be to someone else's liking. There are many men and women that like BIG , and isnt it wonderful. I could say a lot but I wont.....you are entitled to your opinion but you seem to have taken it upon yourself to speak for all men...YOU DONT...Just as I can only speak to what I am attracted to...and I am thankful that not everyone else is attracted to what I like.........I am an old woman by your standards but I have to say one more thing.....If when I was young...and thin..and I had heard a young man call a woman a fatbucket he would not have had two minutes of my attention....I bet you make your mama proud...Now go to your room
m2bsharp	4/29/2010 8:28:34 AM I am so many points I would like to comment on here............WoW! I am a professional makeup artist and have traveled all over the country and had the oppurtunity to meet many different and amazing people. These people have been tall, short, skinny and heavy, beautiful and not so beautiful. But what I have also found, is that the old adage of beauty being skin deep holds true in so many cases. I have been in the world of beauty for 20 years and beauty has its ugliness hidden in a way that most people are not able to see. Dougiem, I do believe we are definately visual creatures, but not as primitive as the descriptions that you chosen as your references. We all have free will to pick and chose as we desire. But we do not have free will to hurt people as we chose. I have been lucky enough to have had men in my life that see women for what they are.......unique and beautiful creatures in our own way. I am obviousely not a tiny woman, but have never been told by any man ever that i was "fat" or suggested that I was and that I should change in some way. If I were to have been told this, we would have parted ways very quickly!!! I am an educated, confident, passionate woman and advise all women to carry themselves in the same manner and pick the men with the brightest and most beautiful plumage, whatever that is to you........ PS- Lalagnaippe.....cudos to you!
terbear1234	4/29/2010 9:51:27 AM There have been a lot of really great points on this thread. Brava to you women for bringing some intelligence here. There are a couple of points which haven't been touched on, yet. 1. He mentioned threads where females say that they want to be accepted for their personalities, as opposed to their looks. Unforunately, it's my guess that those women have only dated the Dougiems of the world. They have yet to experience the unconditional love of a man who adores them for who they are. (Yes, even those of us who shop at Lane Bryant can be loved, admired, and lusted after.) Had they experienced that kind of acceptance and love, they wouldn't feel the need to advertise/whine about it. 2. Even the "skinny chicks" complain about being judged for their looks, instead of their personalities. How many men have judged a blond as stupid at first glimpse? How many men have judged a woman as easy because she has a nice figure? How many men have decided that a woman is good for only one thing by the sexy clothes she wears? How many women who are attractive (as dictated by the media) receive e-mails which are degrading and disgusting despite the fact that they have covered up as much skin as possible? If men would stop judging us on our looks, I think everyone would be a whole lot happier. Yes, women judge, but we are much more accepting on physical traits than men are. IMO, it's not the "fat chicks" with the problem--it's the men who can't get past their caveman brains enough to realize that underneath the outer shell is a woman you might never be lucky enough to know because of how shallow you are.
utahgal1	4/29/2010 10:38:04 AM Hmmm.........let's hear you repeat this in 10-20 years from now. I highly doubt it IF you mature into a sincere man. Shame on you.
darebear77	4/29/2010 10:41:21 AM Although I respect Terbear greatly, I did want to bring up one point... Society judges a man based by what woman is on his arm. He is judged (by men and women) to be a guy that settles, does not strive for goals, ect if he has a heavy womanm on his arm. He is judged to strive for an attain goals, not letting obstacles stop him, ect if he has a thin and attractive woman on his arm. Most men say screw you to that, but some men feel so pressured that they will be judged as "less of a man" if they are with a heavy woman that they will ONLY go for thin women, no matter how horrible her personality. In my experience women judge men just as harshly in the dating world. Before meeting my GF, I had women turn me down saying I was not tough enough for them (I was not threatening to beat everyone up) not man enough (Cause I was not calling them slut and wh*re and telling them to shut up) to heavy (when they, themselves were 5' 1" and 300 lbs) not hot enough, ect. People judge others on outward apperances and snap decisions, it happens. I'll always be judged as a wuss cause I don't try to act tough. I know that I can defend myself in a fight, that is all I need. Women, as long as society (and women are just as guilty) place more importance on how a person looks, you will always be judged thusly, 1: Looks- are you thin? Do you have a killer body and pretty face? 2: personality It sucks. However that is the way of the world. Addendum.... I disagree with the OP as my GF is a bit overwieght but I think she is beautiful.
bigmamano7	4/29/2010 10:56:33 AM Now its my turn, Hey huney I am a plus size Mama I can always lose weight, however some people need a better attitude on here, I have a beautiful smile, dimples to kill for, I am a good mama, some people are to damm judegemental, some have a a-- h--- personality, I can lose weight but oh Yah I have one hell of a personallity, and a great sence of humor.I am a good woman all the way around. Some people need a life and need to loosen up, Vicki
pretty_moonpa	4/29/2010 10:57:43 AM darebear....To a point I have to agree with you....however...when you say SOCIETY ....I might point out that is not ALL societies....Just saying.. And I never was one to conform.....tell me something cant be done and I will prove to you that it can......problem is the herd mentality....JMHO
darebear77	4/29/2010 11:06:11 AM Pretty Moonpa, I agree with the herd mentality. I worked selling cell phones for a while, and the mentality there was a person would be willing to pay $500 for a phone, sign another 2 year contract at $200 a month, just to have a certain phone to be "cool" I have never followed the crowd. I went for off brand MP3 players when everyone else would practically kill thier own mothers for an iPod. I have always done clothing at JC Penny, Ross, Wal-Mart. The most I have ever spent on shoes (not related to work) was $40. Just the mentality means, unfortunantly, if a woman is thin, has a pretty face she can be completly vapid, have no more brains then a wet noodle and have 20 men all over her. A heavy woman can have the best personality on earth, pretty face, and be lucky if she gets a date every couple months. The fashion industry is one part of this, if you have heard the flap about the lane bryant ad, ABC and Fox wanted lane bryant to edit it, IE cut EVERYTHING but the models face cause she is a size 10 or 12. I have links on my blog... http://bigd-weirdthoughts.blogspot.com Ok, enough of my rambling.
1gudgal	4/29/2010 11:30:01 AM I think if everyone, as individuals, took responsibility for their own thoughts and actions, this society would be a much better place. If we stopped listening to what the fashion world told us, we wouldn't have teenagers starving themselves to look like society expects. If men ignored the judgments passed on them and chose a mate who suited them well, as opposed to being eye candy, as Darebear suggests, there would be less divorce. The other side effect of this would be that those judgments would no longer be valued, and would therefore stop. If each of us put more emphasis on intelligence and kindness, threads such as this one would be seen as the idiotic posts they are, instead of some men raising their fists into the air and shouting that we need more skinny women. If every single one of us took responsibility for improving the world around us, what a wonderful world we would have. Instead of judging others and spewing it out into the world, spread acceptance and love.
jennyann71	4/29/2010 11:56:21 AM Well we all have had a go and all are different views and at the end of the day """""" Beauty is Important In this society and when I traveled the 3rd world countries hey it was Important there also .""""" So guess we will just try to be the best we can be."""""" Live and let live"""" and people are like water we seek our own level,,,Have fun and be happy
m2bsharp	4/29/2010 12:02:10 PM This is all nonsense! Everyone is entitled to their opinions. Everyone is free to choose what and whom they NEED to have on their arms. Just as men desire all types of women being thin or heavy, so do women. The fashion world does dictate what is cool or "in" at the moment and its up to us to decipher what works for our bodies and lifestyles. I am +size woman and it doesnt stop me from being sexy or beautiful to most men. I still take care of myself (ie.-exercise,watching what I consume, makeup, clothes, beautiful shoes and bags) probably more so than the skinny women that dougiem desires. There is a great big world out there and it is filled with men that desire women like myself. And I know in my life I have been lucky enough to be happier than most ALL my thin friends!!! I have dated all body types from so called body builders to heavier men. I look within myself for my self worth, not for these men to make me happy or worry about what my friends or their friends might think or say. That all comes from confidence and maturity.
bigmamano7	4/29/2010 12:03:27 PM Good luck finding someone on here. People need to be not so judgemental on here and lighten up. My 2 daughters father would only date big woman that was his choice we was married 19 years and had 2 beautiful daughters together, he told me he only would date plus size woman only. I am very intellegent and articulate and I am not judgemental. I have dated all size, shapes of guys as long as we got along and had fun that was the point, and I dont give a damm what people said when we was together. As you can tell I am very out spoken that is just how I am. Have fun in life , life is to short good luck everybody and I hope you all find happiness and fun in life, Vicki
ergmore	4/29/2010 1:32:08 PM HEY-YOU, A REAL MAN LOOKS FOR A REAL WOMAN, IF ALL YOU LOOK FOR IS A SLIM LADY WHERE AND WHEN YOU FINE YOUR HAPPYNESS? OR DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
jackijo61	4/29/2010 2:01:09 PM Wow.... is all I can say..... First to the author.... and to the comments he knew would follow. Looks aren't everything. And the 'he should love me as I am' can be said as 'she' also. And what the woman in your future....should she show up.....and not have to be inflated.... will have to take you 'as you are' which means they will have to find inner compassion, beauty, intelligence, generosity, etc for I don't see it on the outside. You can not control who your heart seeks. By judging the outside of any person by their looks/flaws only means you are missing the inside. The love, passion and all you will never get to see or enjoy. I am a plus sized woman. I am also a published author, a mother, a friend, an Advocate against Domestic Violence, a lover, a fighter, a teacher, etc. I am also nice looking, compassionate, honest, trustworthy, faithful, independent, generous, loving, sexual, and full of life, love and happiness. I am single by choice not because of my size. And anyone who judges someone by their size or any other imperfection may as well buy the corner house in their area, let the grass/weeds take over the yard, stock up on frozen TV dinners and live their life wondering why. When and if love is right there within reach..... I hope you are man enough to handle it. When a friend of my ex husband who is also my 1st best friend asked him "Don't you want a 'smaller woman' in your life" he responded...."I want to wake up in the morning with my arms wrapped around her and kiss her...Not get out of bed and shake the sheets to see if she is still sleeping" Good luck to you Have a great night all.
jackijo61	4/29/2010 2:11:22 PM Oh and one more thing.... You said.....and I quote 'Most men would take a supermodel with a suck personality over a 300-pound heffer with the best personality in the world.' I don't know what country you live in but most men would not. They want a woman they can talk to and share with. Not have to wait for her to get her 10 lbs of makeup on, choke down the celery stick she calls dinner, or decide which outfit best suits her appearance while she looks for that one step on up in her life and out of yours..
windyoo1	4/29/2010 2:18:18 PM "WOW"..... Someday you will learn that in life are egos get in the way of whats truly important.They block are minds so we cant think outside are own box.They allow us to make horrible choices and say hurt full things that maybe we dont even really believe but are ego wants to be cool so it throws it out there. In my life I battled this for years and thought I was cool and a happy camper.But trust me when I say it was not really me.Once you let the ego die and you can truly humble yourselfe and listen and speak from your heart.You will be amazed at the happiness and beauty you will now be seeing... good luck...
skipper_doodle online now!	4/29/2010 2:21:19 PM <~~~~~ me thinks Im walking away from this blog
july4baby	4/29/2010 3:47:07 PM You should be ashamed of your self for judging girls about their size. God made us all and we shouldn't judge people by the way they look. I'm on the larger side myself and I don't judge big people at all. I think you need some help with this issue you have by judging people on the way they look and their size to. I think its very wrong what your doing and you shouldn't do that any more. from amy
bigmamano7	4/29/2010 4:06:25 PM Right on Amy, very wise for 22 years old, I taught you to be open minded and a good person and not to judge others. Always keep an open mind when it comes to dating, and just have fun and go with the flow. Right on Jackie you are so right. Good luck everybody. Vicki
afing	4/29/2010 5:10:21 PM Dougie certainly doesn't speak for all of the men his age. I'm dating someone on the plus size. Is it because she's plus size? No, it's not. It's because she's a fantastic woman who understands and likes my personality as much as I like hers. Dougie, I looked at your profile. We're not too different in appearance. One thing, though - I don't feel the need to take naked pictures of myself in the mirror. Nice hat. L O L.
iamcyngl	4/29/2010 5:46:50 PM Looks are.....beauty IS.
mekinecb	4/30/2010 10:16:14 PM well i think hes full of s h it cause all them babes he talikng about are fake any way and much rather have a women with patting thenhitting on the bones if he thinks that looks makes good loving he is afool the best loving i ever had was all healthy women ya they may be candy too the eyes but thats about it i have had them all its all how she feels in my arms not how she looks in the dark no telling how pretty she is plus in the morning when the makeup is gone watch out stranger in your bed when he grows up he want he will understand
latenitenla	5/2/2010 7:45:06 AM WOW! Im probably going to get some shit for what Im about to say, but so be it.... If everyone actually read what he said, he is talking about a select few. Not big girls as a whole. Everything he said is true. And right now, Im considered a big girl. Its been beyond my control due to a car accidefnt injury, but its finally being worked out properly since I found a doctor that knows WTF he is talking about. But anyways, a lot of the comments actually prove what he said. We all have our preferences, people whether male or female do tend to btch and moan when there is self esteem issues. The funny thing is when I first read his posts/blogs I was like yeah he is an a*hole, but its his opinion. He doesnt sugarcoat anything, and he has the balls to say what a lot of people are thinking. BUT Im actually cool with him, and when it comes to online (dm correct me if Im wrong) we are friends. Anyways, thats my two cents. Luv ya dougie baby!
latenitenla	5/2/2010 7:55:13 AM Just to clarify, YES some things are inaccurate. There are a lot of guys that dont mind or even like more to hold on to. But its his viewpoint and also his business. Think about it....how much porn, photos and nagazines, websites are dedicated to big girls?? Yeah there are a few, but compared to fit chicks? Not many!!! If the demand was there for big girls, there would be a whole lot more out there. JMO!!
geaux819	5/2/2010 11:49:39 PM Sorry ladies, I have to agree with Dougiem. I adore a woman's shapely body, but a lady that has fat hanging everywhere makes me ill.
dougiem online now!	5/4/2010 10:37:38 AM Holy shit. How did this one blog get so many comments? Ha!
latenitenla	5/4/2010 10:38:46 AM Because you are a sexy mofo and people hate you?? hahahahaq
dougiem online now!	5/4/2010 10:42:38 AM Sadly, I'm never going to read all of these comments. I don't even have to. All I have to say is: Anyone who disagrees with me is ugly. That's really all there is to it.
latenitenla	5/4/2010 10:44:46 AM Because you are a sexy mofo and people hate you?? hahahahaq
latenitenla	5/4/2010 10:47:26 AM I think my computer is possessed. If I was going to post that twice, I would have taken the "q" off. LOL
happypainter	5/26/2010 5:19:52 AM Interesting you mention birds - its the males of the avian world who exhibit bright plumage to attract females (in addition to doing some elaborate and rather silly-looking dances). The females are typically somewhat bland in colouration, most likely the better to hide. Studies have shown that testosterone levels in birds is related to levels of pigment, therefore healthier males are more colorful. Ergo...colourful males are 'hot' and chicks (sorry couldn't resist) dig them, because it increases the chance her progeny will be successful. Humans have genetic hard-wiring as well, whether we want to admit it or not. There was a Swedish study a while back that showed both men and women are more attracted to faces that are symmetrical, and long thick shiny hair has long been attractive to the opposite sex because healthy people tend to have great hair. Of course, for humans its much more complicated. As usual.