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I'm back but I'm not sure if it is a good thing!
by weaimtoplease at 1/3/2012 12:57:12 PM


I took about an 18 month break from DH and, for some strange reason, I came back on Christmas Eve. Well, maybe not so strange since the Widower's group helped me four years ago with a major problem and the resolution for that problem came on Christmas Eve, 2007. I guess I just answered my own question on why.

But now an even bigger question: if DH brings back unhappy memories, why am I back? Am I trying to erase the memories by making new, happier memories? Am I trying to right my mistakes? Am I punishing myself? Setting myself up for failure? Aren't I bright enough to learn from the past? I know some parts of my DH experience were absolutely wonderful since I met some great people here and in person.

I guess I have to decide if the good outweighs the bad and go from there, right?

Comments
harryofvick



 1/3/2012 12:58:17 PM

Welcome back - I've left a few times
moon_is_rising



 1/3/2012 1:00:28 PM

Only you can decide....and only you can seek the answers for YOU......DH is a Website....IT in itself cant make you unhappy...if some of the people on DH do then dont interact with them, just as you wouldnt in real life.....I WISH YOU WELL.....
gracflhrt



 1/3/2012 1:06:32 PM

Moon...good response!!....So True!..

weaimtoplease 		1/3/2012 1:11:33 PM

Moon - thanks so much for your response and you are exactly right. I've made some terrific friends - both on here, on the phone, and in person. I kept in touch with the ones I cared about for the whole time I was gone. It's kind of hard to explain.

sunshineluckyou 		1/3/2012 1:36:39 PM

HEY DONNA----YOU KNOW THERE ARE ALOT OF US WHO WOULD TRULY MISS YOU MY DAD ALWAYS SAID "NOTHING VENTURED/NOTHING GAINED" WHEN TRYING TO MAKE A DECISION/ I BRING THAT TO MINDWHY NOT STAY FOR AWHILE & HANG OUT WITH US & YES---THOSE THAT ARE NOT "YOUR CUP OF TEA" SO TO SPEAK---LET THEM GO ON THEIR MERRY WAY & YOU GO ON YOURS

newlady2 		1/3/2012 2:11:25 PM

Hey Ladybug-- give it a trial run-- *smile* and alsobe selective in your friends,,Welcome Back and HNY..

weaimtoplease 		1/3/2012 2:54:24 PM

Thanks guys! And it is not about all of the drama on here it is me and how I relate. And I have only added 1 or 2 new friends and have, luckily, been blocked by one b*tch. I'm still thinking very hard and taking in all that is being said. A heartfelt "THANK YOU" to those who have replied!

letusing 		1/3/2012 3:53:32 PM

Great to see you again GF I missed you so sun&jhny said you were alright! weaimtoplease I was here in 2007 Cleaverlady" I was gone yr1/2 welcome back! Letusing 2009! have I found friends yes, Love nah! have a sweet one GF! and the saga con't????sing

weaimtoplease 		1/3/2012 4:01:29 PM

letusing, I remember you. Yes, I'm fine just had to move from Georgia to Ohio. Had to sell my house to buy my dad's trailer so he could go on Medicaid. It's taken me 15 months to get it to where I almost want it but the good thing is my Dad is in an excellent nursing home and I am only 7 miles away. You do what you have to do to take care of your parents; didn't they take care of us?

nenebubbles		 1/3/2012 5:20:07 PM

I am glad you came back ... and enjoy chatting and joking with you. You taught me to take what I like and leave the rest. I will add ... concentrate on the fun.

sunshineluckyou 		1/3/2012 5:48:07 PM

Yes we do what we want to do to care of our parents--Sold my Dad's house when he was diagnosed with Alzheimers/couldn't drive anymore--Moved Dad & my brother who was living with him a block from me in their own home---Dad stayed there until Drs said he needed 24hr supervision/found wonderful nursing facility for him about 7miles from me------Was able to visit him often & would not change a thing---His last few yrs were filled with love from me & my girls & brother---very precious time indeed--But there is still time that you can devote to just you

weaimtoplease 		1/3/2012 7:04:13 PM

Dad has Alzheimer's and is in a lock down unit. He knows me when he's concerned about his money (yeap, dad, money going in the bank every month (nursing home bank). But other times he has no idea who I am except when I bring him his snacks every week or two or McDonalds a couple of times a week. I forgot and got him a large milkshake a couple of weeks ago and he told me "Donna, you got the wrong size." My reply "Dad, I'm not Donna, I'm Wendy but I'll get the right size like Donna does next time." Wrong of me, yeah? But even as an adult, I hate it when I do something he doesn't like.

nenebubbles		 1/3/2012 7:22:31 PM

I helped my sister with my Mom the last 5 years of her life when the doctor diagnosed her with Alzheimer's. We tried so hard to keep her in her home ... and had to get a nurse during the day BUT when a stroke put her in the hospital, the doctor said she had to go to a nursing home for physical therapy and speech and dementia. She was in a secure Legacy Unit ... and we had to re-introduce oursevles on a regular basis.

You are right, Donna, we do try to give back ... but as Sunshine said, we also take care of ourselves so we have the strength and endurance to handle being a caretaker and have a life.

nenebubbles		 1/3/2012 7:23:55 PM

I don't know who Wendy is but I am glad you have a sense of humor and it was not wrong!

weaimtoplease 		1/3/2012 7:38:21 PM

I'm sorry, Wendy is my only sister. I am the only one who goes on a regular basis of my one full sister, one full brother, one half brother and one adopted brother. She was really upset cause Christmas Eve dad told her he only had one daughter and one granddaughter. I tried to make her understand we are the ones who go most often so when he is lucid, he remembers us.

letusing 		1/4/2012 9:27:25 AM

Hay sunshine&Jhny these are our Americas Sweethearts on DH & Beyond Love you all happy days to you my friends weaim I can still see you in your convertable car in 2007 hang on sweety your friend sing!

sorpstar 		1/4/2012 12:45:27 PM

remember you once said and what's became famous here: "take what you want and leave the rest behind"...so if you're back for good just enjoy/ life is short enough as it is ...supporting threads can still happen on DH...it must stink to be alone when it happens...there is a good website I saw, a story about Shelly Fabares and her battle with Alzheimers concerning her parents and how she coped with it--try this link: http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20105157,00.html good luck

weaimtoplease 		1/4/2012 5:40:05 PM

Sorp - thank you for the link. I don't know if I will ever live down that quote.

newlady2 		1/5/2012 4:08:00 AM

Uhuh I know I already posted but I repeat Its so glad to see you back again, I wish I had a sis.. *smile* ..

weaimtoplease 		1/6/2012 10:32:20 AM

Newlady - you can be my sister by choice!

onlyone1542		 1/6/2012 1:42:58 PM

Welcome back and enjoy your stay and ignore the ones that try to make trouble all the time .