Tips for hiring a dating coach

SHOULD YOU HIRE
A DATING COACH?

When you start looking into online dating, you will also see many ads for dating coach. What do they do? Are they worth it? Would hiring a dating coach significantly increase your chances of relationship success?

Rule #1: Preparing Yourself: Ban those
first date jitters!

While most people find that they can navigate the online dating world on their own, some people find that a bit of outside help is both welcome and useful. There are a few reasons that some people may feel that a dating coach may be useful to them.

WHO CAN BENEFIT FROM A DATING COACH?

People from a number of different backgounds seek out coaching. Some because they feel that they do not properly understand the ways that dating has changed since online dating has become popular. Others seek out a coach because they have consistently failed to find the right person for them.

A few of the types of people who seek out online dating coaches:

PEOPLE JUST GETTING
BACK INTO DATING.

If you've been married for 20 or 30 years, getting back into the dating pool can lead to serious culture shock. The ways that most of us meet people have really changed.

A dating coach can help you catch up with how people date now. They can tell you what to expect on each major dating site. They can help you craft an effective profile and write messages that get responses.

An online dating coach can also bring you up to speed on what to expect when making dates and help you relearn your courting techniques if you are a little rusty.

PEOPLE WHO HAVE NEVER
DATED BEFORE.

There is no one right age to start going out on dates. If you are someone who has lagged behind and is just starting to date in your 20s, 30s or later, you may feel that you have been left behind.

A dating coach can help guide you through the process of getting dates and helping you make them go well. They can teach you etiquette tips that can make you feel more confident and help you avoid embrassing dating gaffes.

Seeking the help of a dating coach can help you feel like you understand dating better and are better equipped to get out there and start meeting people.

PEOPLE WHO FIND THAT THEY ALWAYS LOSE
PEOPLE'S INTEREST AT THE SAME SPOT.

Do you find that you can get people to message back, but can't get someone to agree to a date? Do you get a lot of first dates, but not many second or third dates? A dating coach may be one alternative who can help you learn where things are going wrong.

PEOPLE WHO'VE RECEIVED COMPLAINTS THAT THEY ARE
RUDE OR THAT THEY DO NOT RESPECT BOUNDARIES?

It's sometimes hard to see our own flaws from the inside. If you have received the same criticisms from multiple people, you may begin to feel that there is an area where you have a problem. But it can be difficult to figure out on your own how to address it.

A dating coach can tell you more about expected behavior. One who specifically focuses on issues related to consent can teach you what signals mean and how you can move a relationship forward without falling into undesirable behaviors.

PEOPLE WHO JUST AREN'T GETTING WHAT
THEY WANT OUT OF ONLINE DATING.

Are you looking for a lifelong partner, but somehow keep finding person after person who is looking for a casual relationship with no strings? It is possible that you are not sending out the right signals to attract the sort of person you want.

An online dating coach can provide an outside perspective on what you are doing right and where you can use more work. By seeking outside advice, you can hone your technique and find more connections with the type of people you are looking for.

HAVE YOU DONE EVERYTHING YOU CAN ON
YOUR OWN?

In other areas where people seek coaches, this is the question that comes up again and again: what have you done on your own?

In dating, there are a number of things you can do on your own to make yourself more successful. If you have tried all of this without success, maybe a dating coach can help. A few of the self-help ideas to explore before you look to a dating coach for help:

READING SELF-HELP BOOKS AND ARTICLES.

Before seeking out a one-on-one coach, see what people who write books and articles can tell you. Check out one or two books and subscribe to a couple of blogs to start learning more. You might be able to get some ideas to put into motion just from your reading. This can save you the expense of a dating coach and help you get on your way to a more successful dating life.

Check out dating advice experts from a number of backgrounds. When it comes to dating, there is no one size fits all approach. Some people are more traditional. Others take a more liberal tack. By finding the people who fit your comfort levels best, you can get the advice that applies best to you.

IMPROVING THE WAY YOU DRESS.

Are you wearing clothes that are flattering, well-kept and that fit you well? Picking out outfits that make you look your best can make massive difference in your apperance. Have a trusted friend go shopping with you if you do not feel confident about picking out clothes on your own.

GETTING FIT.

We're not saying that it's fair. But, people who are within the average body weight range for their height typically have more success dating than those who are not. If it's been a while since you've worked out and you are not paying a lot of attention to what you eat, it can lead to excess weight. Start a fitness routine and watch your diet to shed some excess pounds, increase your dating confidence and improve your chances of dating success.

This activites can often offer opportunities to get out and meet people; including, possibly, someone you would like to date. And, if you don't meet someone here, you are still getting something valuable: the opportunity to get comfortable talking to new people. By working to increase your comfort levels with strangers, you can improve the way that you interact on dates.

MESSAGING MORE PEOPLE ON
DATING SITES.

Some people who are nervous about online dating can psyche themselves out of reaching out and making a connection. Make it a goal to send an original and engaging message to at least one person a day. Online dating can sometimes be a numbers game. It can take a lot of messages that get no response to get to the point where you are hearing back.

THINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN HIRING A
DATING COACH

If you do decide to hire a coach, make sure that the one you pick is right for you. There are many different approaches when it comes to dating; if your personal philosophies clash with those of your coach, you may find that this coach is ineffective for you. Be sure to consider the following before hiring someone:

WHAT ARE THE COACH'S CREDENTIALS?

If you do decide to hire a coach, make sure that the one you pick is right for you. There are many difference approaches when it comes to dating; if your personal philosophies clash with those of your coach, you may find that this coach is inffective for you. Be sure to consider the following before hiring someone:

DOES YOUR COACH HAVE TESTIMONIALS
FROM PAST CLIENTS?

Sometimes the best way to see if an online dating coach is good at what they do is to see how past clients felt. Read the testimonials on your prospective coach's site. They should have some variation in them; this indicates authenticity. You can also ask if your coach is willing to give references from past clients. This gives you a chance to talk directly to others and get some answers to your questions.

HAS YOUR COACH PUBLISHED
ANYTHING ABOUT DATING?

Google a coach's name to see what he or she has out there. Have they written any books on the topic of dating? Do they write a regular column or any sort of dating articles? Not having publishing credits is not necessarily a bad sign; however, if you can see what the coach has written, it will give you an idea about their dating philosophy and what you might learn from their coaching sessions.

WHAT DOES COACHING INVOLVE?

There is no standard online dating coaching package. Some may recommend a series of three to five counseling sessions. Others may coach you through writing messages, making dates and other aspects. Find out in advance what is being offered for the price.

DOES THIS COACH MAKE YOU FEEL
COMFORTABLE?

If you do not trust your dating coach, the two of you are not going to make a lot of progress. It is okay if you do not feel a connection with the first or second who you contact. Keep interviewing prospective coaches until you find one who you feel you can learn from.

DO THIS COACH'S SERVICES FIT
YOUR BUDGET?

There is no one set price that will be a fit for every coach. And, sometimes the cheapest option is not the same as the best value. Talk to a few coaches about their pricing before you settle on one. This will give you an opportunity to learn what the usual price range is in your area.

ARE YOU WILLING TO DO THE WORK?

Dating coaches are not magic. They are not going to suddenly and automatically fix your dating life. Instead, they will make recommendations that you can use to find yourself dating success.

It is important, of course, not to do anything that you feel is wrong or that you feel does not fit your basic personality. For instance, a woman who speaks her mind and feels more comfortable in sneakers than heels will not benefit in the long run from a dating coach who advocates traditional gender roles. Even if she does meet someone this way, the chances that she'll be happy in this relationship are not high.

However, many pieces of advice that a dating coach will give you are ones that are a good fit for you but also require a degree of commitment. If you are going to invest the money in dating coaching, you also need invest the effort.

DATING COACH RED FLAGS

Since there is no legal definition of what a dating coach is or does, it means that anyone can buy a domain and set out a shingle. This means that you, as a consumer, need to be careful. If you run into any of the following from a dating coach, it's time to run the other way:

A COACH WHO KEEPS ASKING FOR MORE MONEY

Most dating coaches will start with a set number of coaching sessions that they sell as a package. If you find that there is some sort of upsell service every time you turn around, do not trust this coach. This is someone who is taking advantage of another's trust.

A COACH WHO ADVISES ACTIONS THAT ARE
IMMORAL OR ILLEGAL

A number of years ago, dating coaches in the "pick up" niche came under fire for making recommendations that were misogynistic or even illegal. If someone is telling you to treat people badly to get dates, this is not someone who you should listen to. After all, are you going to enjoy being in a relationship with someone you had to bully to get there? You should also be wary of pick-up coaches who recommend intimidating someone or getting them drunk. This is an area where what you might wind up doing isn't just wrong, it may be illegal.

A COACH WHO PLAYS ON YOUR INSECURITIES

Do you feel worse seeing your coach instead of better? Does your coach try to talk you into other services by making you feel inadequate? These are signs that you are dealing with someone who is not well-suited to coaching and not a good fit for you. Your coach should help you feel more confident, not less. If your coach always has a new class for you to take or a new product to buy, and that this new secret will make you successful, you are not with the right person. You should not feel pressured or intimidated into buying dating coaching products.

A COACH WHO YOU DO NOT TRUST

It's one thing for a coach to make recommendations that require hard work from you. It's another for them to recommend things that make you uncomfortable or that you feel are not likely to be effective. If your coach seems to be full of it, trust your insticts. A different coach might be a better fit.

There is, unfortunately, no one place where bad coaches can be reported. Just end the coaching relationship and start looking for someone new.

SHOULD YOU HIRE A DATING COACH?

SHOULD YOU HIRE
A DATING COACH?