Beyond

When it comes to dating these days, picking up women can be a very intimidating process for many men. There are several important things to remember as you attempt to get the attention of a woman. Women do not want to hear something that they know is just going to be said to the next woman if she says no. If you've heard it on television or seen your best friend get smacked across the face after he said it, chances are it is not something that you should say to try to get her interested.

Be Mature and Confident. Women don't want men who act like idiots. Women also don't like men who don't think they can land a woman like her. If you approach her while maintaining eye contact and act as though she matters—but not to the point that she is the only woman in the room—she'll realize that you want to talk to her for a reason; but you're also not afraid to move on if she turns you down, which, as ironic and contradictory as it may sound, will give her more reason to talk to you.

Keep the Conversation Natural and Flowing. There are going to be natural breaks in the conversation, and this is okay. It's not a bad sign if there is a moment of silence. Keep your conversation light, friendly, and funny. Avoid serious and controversial topics until you have reached a level of dating where you are comfortable speaking about them, and you know she is too. Ask open-ended questions, don't talk too much about yourself or past sexual encounters and let her talk about herself.

Don't act like a creep. This may be obvious, but it is a very important rule. Don't stare at her before approaching her, and if you're meeting her through online dating, it is important to keep the interaction limited to information that will help feed a meeting in person, without making her feel as though she would be in any danger if and when she decides to meet you.

Don't ask for her phone number. Women get so used to conversations that end with, “Can I get your number?” that it is very important to be different, leaving her with a desire to contact you. If you're in a bar, at the height of your conversation, let her know how to find you before she leaves without asking for her number. This may not work all of the time, but at least you know if she comes back, she is definitely interested in hearing more from you. Use the time you have interacting with her to build sexual chemistry and interest, rather than getting directly to the point of further communication. If you're dealing with online interaction, wait for the right moment to suggest more interaction offline. Make her want your number or want to give you her number.

Don't ask for permission to speak to her. Just start talking to her. You can gauge her interest level by seeing how responsive she is to the conversation. If you ask her permission to speak to her, then you are no different than all the other guys in the bar, or online. This ties in to all the other suggestions thus far, and if you follow the advice well enough, it may open up the realm of possibilities to something more.

Though these are not surefire guidelines to help you pick up women, and these may not work all the time for every scenario, the most important thing to walk away with from this with is to remember not to be pushy and to let things happen as they will. A rejection for a date doesn't mean she won't want to be your friend, so leave that door open. A friend now may turn into a date or girlfriend later.

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