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Divorce is undeniably difficult, especially if children are involved. Even the most well-adjusted individuals can be crippled by a divorce, and children are perhaps the most affected. No matter what the circumstance, having a family split apart by divorce will have a significant impact on everyone involved.
And the statistics for divorce aren't good. Every single year, over 1 million children will have to witness the divorce of their parents, and with nearly half of all marriages ending in divorce, it's a fact that many families must face.
Coping During a Divorce
A great way to deal with divorce - whether it's your divorce or your parents' - is to talk to others who have been in the same situation. Sadly, divorce is a very common occurrence, and you'd be surprised at who in your life has been in a similar situation. It's very important during the initial stages of divorce to not think about dating again and just to focus on getting your life and emotions back together. There are also support groups, forums, and websites dedicated to dealing with divorce. Finding a support system can make things easier and give you hope.
- Divorce Support offers active forums on everything from custody information to dating after a divorce.
- Divorce Care helps you find a divorce support group in your area.
- Divorce Source is a great resource that provides everything from articles about coping to information about divorce laws by state.
- Kids' Turn is a fantastic site geared towards children, and provides great tips and activities to help families deal with a difficult situation.
- DivorceCare for Kids offers support groups all over the country.
Books About Divorce
Of course, there are a variety of self-help books about coping with divorce, but there are also a number of fiction books that may be helpful, especially for children who do not fully understand the situation.
- It's Not the End of the World by Judy Blume - Though the book was written in the '70's, Blume is renowned for her ability to connect to young adults, and this book about a child dealing with her parents' divorce is no exception.
- Strider by Beverly Cleary - Cleary is another amazing young adult advocate, and her story about a teenage boy learning to accept his parents' divorce will help children see that life isn't over just because parents choose to divorce.
- We're Having a Tuesday by DK Simoneau - This great book for young children describes a little girl's struggles as she tries to cope with having two homes.
- I Don't Want to Talk About It by Jeanie Franz Ransom - This book is particularly helpful for children who are having difficulty coping with their emotions during a divorce, as the main character imagines herself as different animals in order to express her feelings.
Questions About Divorce
A divorce brings up many questions: Where do I go from here? Will I make it financially? What about the kids? Fortunately, there are answers.
- What should I do to avoid serious financial hardships?
- How can I help my children cope with the divorce more easily?
- Should I seek joint custody or sole custody?
- How do I act around my ex-spouse when the kids are around?
- How can I bounce back?
While it may seem that a divorce is the end of the world, if you allow yourself to ample time to grieve and then move on, you'll find that there is happiness in your future. There are many ways to cope with your feelings and emotions, and eventually you will reach the light at the end of the tunnel.
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