I Just Want To Be Friends

Is it really possible these days to be friends with a girl – and just remain friends? People are starting to ask that question more and more as gender lines relax – girls and guys are spending more time together in platonic situations, and sometimes, feelings creep up when they aren’t supposed to. So, can a guy be close to a girl and never want anything more? The answer is yes – but it takes a whole lot of work!

Not convinced? Sure, all those romantic comedies have two people being just friends; then the girl tries to land her “dream guy” and discovers that it’s not him she wants. Instead, she comes to the conclusion that she’s actually in love with her best friend who’s been in love with her for years and never told her. They get together, and they live happily ever after. Unfortunately, that rarely happens in real life. Instead, a guy ends up pining for a girl who’s only interested in him “as a friend.”

That’s the dreaded phrase: just friends. A guy has fallen for this great, cute, smart girl; they’ve been friends for years, and the guy knows they’d be great together. But the second he brings it up, disaster. A sad, uncomfortable look crosses her face and she tries to break it to him gently, saying, “I don’t want to risk our friendship” or “We’re better off just friends.” That phrase is also used as an excuse – by both guys and girls – who don’t want to become romantically involved but don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or destroy a friendship.

Sometimes girls even pull that after you’ve given it a shot. For instance, a woman named Louise says she told her ex she wanted to be “just friends” because “I want to be just friends with him because he’s awesome as a friend, but not a boyfriend.” Another woman said she wants to remain friends because “ I don't want things between us to change” – even though she did have feelings for her male friend!

How do you avoid all that? There are a few main rules to follow. Don’t get touchy-feely with your female friends. Maintain that line so there’s no sexual attraction. That also goes for other things too, like spending a lot of time together.

• Internet Dating Stories : A great place to find testimonials from people who’ve gotten themselves into sticky situations.
• Dating Stories: A popular place to find dating testimonials.
• Links2Love : Link2Love allows you to ask Dr. Truth for dating advice. You can read other people’s questions for answers as well.
• iVillage : iVillage has an extensive dating section that offers not only advice for handling sticky situations but also advice for other dating aspects.
• Top Dating Tips: Offers a huge database of dating tips. It also points out common mistakes.
• Your Romance Guide : Dating and relationship tips for guys and girls.
• Dr. Dating : Offers dating tips. It is divided into sections so it’s easy to navigate.
• Dating Friends : Provides tips about dating people close to you.
• How To Stay Just Friends: Offers a detailed guide on how to stay “just friends” if you find yourself attracted to a girl who only wants to be friends.

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