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Tips for Men: How to be a Good Father and Husband

Learning to be a good father and husband does not take place overnight. Both marriage and family are huge responsibilities. Taking men on a roller coaster ride; where emotions rapidly switch from frustration, to exhilaration, and confusion. All of these new responsibilities require men to create a balancing act. Somehow finding time for their careers, active involvement in their children's development, and spending time with their wives.

Get Involved During Pregnancy

  • From the moment a man finds out his wife is expecting he can take an active role. Learn about the different stages of pregnancy and offer emotional support as her body and emotions change. 
  • Attend all prenatal visits with your wife and take child birthing classes together to prepare for the baby.
  • Communicate and discuss issues involving medical choices, child rearing, and division of responsibilities to avoid problems down the line. 

Be Active At All Stages

  • Father's can be fully involved in all aspects of child rearing. Talk to your baby, play games, change diapers, and wash them to help build bonds.
  • As children grow older, fatherhood roles will expand. Ask children questions about friends and school; and listen to their responses. Educate them on staying safe, avoiding strangers and preparing for emergencies.
  • When disciplining children remain calm, stay firm, and be consistent. Set boundaries; explain the consequences of not following the rules, and follow through when punishment is needed.

Get Involved in Education

  • Children do better in school when fathers take an active role. Attend parent teacher conferences and join the local Parent Teacher Association.
  • Volunteering at sporting events, clubs, and after school activities will allow fathers to spend time with children while showing they care about their interest.
  • Read to young children and encourage them to read to you as their reading skills improve. Show children that reading is valued in the home by providing age appropriate books and magazines for their enjoyment.
  • Create a schedule allowing children to play games and watch television only after completing homework.

Be a Good Example

  • Children learn and adapt to the social behaviors they experience at home. Fathers should avoid fighting, yelling, and losing their tempers in front of children.
  • Teach children the values important to your family. Use examples, role playing, coaching, and regular reminders as aids when teaching children: right from wrong, honesty, respecting others, and appropriate manners.
  • Healthy, productive children need affection to thrive: offer praise, give hugs, and encouragement. Allow children to express their creativity and feelings without censorship to help them feel secure. 

Spend Quality Time

  • Being busy is no excuse to neglect your wife. You can show her affection with small gestures such as: back rubs, kisses, buying presents, and positive affirmations of love.
  • Men can keep connected with their wives by scheduling date nights without the kids at least once each month. Build a positive relationship with children by finding fun activities that can be done together.
  • Continue doing regular family activities to keep a strong and happy family unit. Schedule regular visits with grandparents, older stepchildren and other relatives to develop a strong family circle, so children feel loved.

Fathers can access additional information on parenting and families at:

    • Promoting Responsible Fatherhood: Information on effective parenting provided from the United States Department of Health and Human Services.
    • National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse: Tips and guides for dealing with the responsibility of fatherhood.
    •  KidsHealth: Supportive information for first time fathers. 
    • American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists: Advice on handling each stage of pregnancy and steps to take after the baby is born.
    • First Things First: Articles help dads to balance work and family life, be a positive role model, and connect with daughters. 
    • Dads & Daughters: Resources for strengthening relationships with daughters or stepdaughters. 
    • Fatherville.com: Information from real dads on raising teens, handling finances and parenting.
    • Fathers.com: Advice for fathers on dating, respecting, and appreciating wives.
    • National Fatherhood Initiative: Tips on improving parenting and marriage skills.
    • University of Florida: Examining how fathers can remain involved parents.  

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