Only The Serious Need Apply

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8/14/2008 10:03:21 PM	Only The Serious Need Apply
lakeside54321 Rose Bud, AR age: 46	Ok… I need to get something off my chest! I see this statement in one profile after another where women and girls say “No head games”, or “serious responses only!“ And I believe I know what some of you are saying… you are not interested in some guy who just wants in your panties! But this can make a guy feel like he shouldn’t even message you to begin with, because of your expectation that if you meet in person that it better go all the way to marriage, or you are going to think he is the biggest jerk in the world! People try each other on for size and fit, just like you do with clothes or makeup, or a different hair style, and after they get to know someone…. Maybe even intimately, then they might just not like you enough to jump on the commitment band wagon! Does that mean he was just a player? Does that mean he was scum and that you should bad mouth him? I don’t think it does! I cannot answer for all men, but I can answer for myself! People act like they are offended if you use the “shopping for a car” thought process on them, but that is what finding the right partner is all about…. Shopping for the right fit, feel and response! Tell me what you think!
8/15/2008 6:08:31 PM	Only The Serious Need Apply
suzie23 Little Rock, AR age: 36	I'm honest and blunt but I'm gonna tame it down for you. "Ok… I need to get something off my chest! I see this statement in one profile after another where women and girls say “No head games”, or “serious responses only!“ And I believe I know what some of you are saying… you are not interested in some guy who just wants in your panties! But this can make a guy feel like he shouldn’t even message you to begin with, because of your expectation that if you meet in person that it better go all the way to marriage, or you are going to think he is the biggest jerk in the world! People try each other on for size and fit, just like you do with clothes or makeup, or a different hair style, and after they get to know someone…. Maybe even intimately, then they might just not like you enough to jump on the commitment band wagon! Does that mean he was just a player? Does that mean he was scum and that you should bad mouth him? I don’t think it does! I cannot answer for all men, but I can answer for myself! People act like they are offended if you use the “shopping for a car” thought process on them, but that is what finding the right partner is all about…. Shopping for the right fit, feel and response! Tell me what you think!" "But this can make a guy feel like he shouldn’t even message you to begin with, because of your expectation that if you meet in person that it better go all the way to marriage, or you are going to think he is the biggest jerk in the world! " Point!!!! If he feels that way, he should move on, not all men do and that is a fact. Some will even have the balls to pursue such a woman. "People try each other on for size and fit, just like you do with clothes or makeup, or a different hair style, and after they get to know someone…. Maybe even intimately, then they might just not like you enough to jump on the commitment band wagon! Does that mean he was just a player? Does that mean he was scum and that you should bad mouth him? " Yes, It sure does constitute reason to do all of the above. You wanted it, you got it, now whatchya gonna do with it???? You have no idea, but your done with it so on your way you go YOU SUCK!!!! The most sickening thing about being single is the number of men (and women) who actually think that a woman needs them Those men that actually like to keep themselves deluded and love to think women are beneath them and that everyone else is stupid enough to believe that men aren't stupid enough sometimes to believe that they are the lord and savior and that other's will believe anything they have to say just because they say it is scumming up the WHOLE singles scene, it seems sometimes. "People act like they are offended if you use the “shopping for a car” thought process on them, but that is what finding the right partner is all about…. Shopping for the right fit, feel and response! Tell me what you think!" As soon as a person becomes nothing but an inanimate object to a person, you know there's going to be trouble. Point 1. People aren't cars. Period end of discussion. Point 2. Who the hell are you to try and judge anyone else for any reason???? DUUUUHHHHHH!!!! Point 3. If you want to shop, honey let me tell you right now, you'll NEVER EVER be able to afford it!!!!!!!!! 3 gran?????? NAW that's alright, I don't need or want your money. You got my point. Delude yourself all you want to. If you want to shop, You better hit the strip If you treat people like non-living objects, you'll never find anything real. As the old saying goes... "Loose your temper, loose a friend. Tell a lie, decieve no-one but yourself." Plain and simple Good luck to ya. Suzie
8/15/2008 9:55:40 PM	Only The Serious Need Apply
lakeside54321 Rose Bud, AR age: 46	Have you ever heard of a Metaphor? Your response tells me you don't! So... I will explain it to you! A metaphor is something.... maybe an inanimate object.... put forth to describe or to explain something else! And if you hadn't been so eaten up with yourself you might have gotten what I was saying! What I am saying is that many peoples profiles contain those statements mentioned in my original post which tell someone that you have to make a committment before you even know who they are! It is like building a house(watch out, here is another metaphor)... building a house, and putting the roof on before you ever lay the foundation or build the walls! And the reason so many relationships fail is because couples do not go through the discovery process of learning the things about the other person they need to know. I dated a girl for 3 months... we had a great time, I liked her a lot, and she liked me a lot. I rarely drink alcohol. We never had a drink together until she took me to her sisters house. After 4 Budweisers she was this slobbering out of control drunk! Her sister later told me that she had had that problem for many years! Should I have just ignored that? I think NOT, and if you think I'm scum because I ended it that night, then you are the one who is deluded! Drunks don't need partners! They need serious help from professionals. Blind love committment will get you no where! In my first post, I was just interested in some feed back... I didn't expect or appreciate being flamed by an obvious man-hater! I will try not to hold it against you, but the ball is in your court
8/16/2008 5:02:25 AM	Only The Serious Need Apply
arkielady Austin, AR age: 70	Lakeside, I have only been on here about 3 months, but have met several guys. One in particular fits the "head game" profile. When we finally met last week, he had the gall to tell me that he takes lots of time to write his emails so that he is sure to say what the woman wants to hear. He followed that statement with "after all it is just a game." This was after I had driven 400 miles to meet him half way because his emails had won my heart. I guess if this happened several times, I might be tempted to put the "no head games" statement in my profile. Perhaps when you see a profile you like otherwise, that has that statement in it, you might consider that something similar to my experience may have happened to that person, and reassure them that you do not condone that kind of behavior in yourself or in others. Then drop the subject from both conversation and your mind. Just a Grandma's perspective...
8/16/2008 6:24:00 AM	Only The Serious Need Apply
lakeside54321 Rose Bud, AR age: 46	Yes Arkielady, I am certainly aware that there are way too many men...And Women... out there who set out just to play it as a game... The following statement was in my original post... And I believe I know what some of you are saying… you are not interested in some guy who just wants in your panties! So I'm not arguing that it goes on. That is why it is so important that we make these discoveries before we go flying head over heels in "love" with someone we don't know! But for anyone to expect me or any other guy, or girl to "make a committment" to sticking with someone regardless of what I later learn about that person after dating them for a while, based on what is said in their profile is not a way to pick a significant other!
8/16/2008 6:40:07 AM	Only The Serious Need Apply
arkielady Austin, AR age: 70	Quote from lakeside54321: Yes Arkielady, I am certainly aware that there are way too many men...And Women... out there who set out just to play it as a game... The following statement was in my original post... And I believe I know what some of you are saying… you are not interested in some guy who just wants in your panties! So I'm not arguing that it goes on. That is why it is so important that we make these discoveries before we go flying head over heels in "love" with someone we don't know! But for anyone to expect me or any other guy, or girl to "make a committment" to sticking with someone regardless of what I later learn about that person after dating them for a while, based on what is said in their profile is not a way to pick a significant other! Lakeside, perhaps you tried to read more into what I said than was there. I did not mention sex or any thing remotely near it. I only referred to HEAD GAMES. Just because two people meet, does not mean that sex is involved.
8/16/2008 6:56:07 AM	Only The Serious Need Apply
lakeside54321 Rose Bud, AR age: 46	Yes... I understand.... !
8/16/2008 2:38:43 PM	Only The Serious Need Apply
amaryllisminton North Little Rock, AR age: 57	I think maybe women are just trying to say that if all you are interested in is sex and you don't even want to take the time to know me as a friend and a person first we aren't interested. We can get sex most anywhere we are looking for more than that. Not necessarily a lifetime commitment per se but more than just casual sex. Just my two cents worth. Roberta
8/16/2008 6:08:17 PM	Only The Serious Need Apply
aboomer Hot Springs National Park, AR age: 51	Lakeside, I think your premise of using an anology is valid yet does not surfice to the extent that it maybe should. What should a man extrapolate from a statement that includes "NO HEAD GAMES". I, for one, would immediately assume that that should be taken as a big red flag, a warning, if you will.From my way of thinking, there is no reason to include such a statement unless such behavior is normally part of that persons character and personality. As for taking the "time" to cater to another person, "time" that cannot be recovered. Based on their profile, I feel it far better to be aserbic and blunt and layout what your interests and desires are, prior to any contact, and then be true to your word. As one who spent years catering to an immature deceptive pre-programmed woman, I am fast to depart if I discover that someone I have contacted has either lied or attempted deception. I get flamed as a woman hater because I state outright what I expect. While it generally is true that people will try to "Put on a Happy Face", or attempt to be cordial, it is critically important, to me, and I assume to you as well, that those character flaws that are unacceptable, be quickly discovered. It is my personal feeling that women are raised to be prisses and head gamers and there are few who, as they grow up, mature intellectually enough to understand that what their male counterparts desire are companions, lovers, who will be/are also their one and true best friend. I could expound on what the desired physical traits would be for ME, but they probably wouldn't fit for most other men. Interestingly, when one does include an outline of those traits, there is usually an immediate response that what I'm looking for is a "Stepford Wife", or a "Trophy wife". There is really no way to carry on a conversation with anyone who responds thusly, so I don't try. At this point in my life, while I might welcome a monogamous relationship, I feel that there is slim chance that I might happen upon someone(female) that I would be willing to give up all for. Have enjoyed the opportunity to speak my mind, as it will. Hopefully there are others out there who can continue the discourse and add to it.
8/16/2008 7:51:55 PM	Only The Serious Need Apply
kindalooking Van Buren, AR age: 49	Quote from lakeside54321: Have you ever heard of a Metaphor? Your response tells me you don't! So... I will explain it to you! A metaphor is something.... maybe an inanimate object.... put forth to describe or to explain something else! And if you hadn't been so eaten up with yourself you might have gotten what I was saying! What I am saying is that many peoples profiles contain those statements mentioned in my original post which tell someone that you have to make a committment before you even know who they are! It is like building a house(watch out, here is another metaphor)... building a house, and putting the roof on before you ever lay the foundation or build the walls! And the reason so many relationships fail is because couples do not go through the discovery process of learning the things about the other person they need to know. I dated a girl for 3 months... we had a great time, I liked her a lot, and she liked me a lot. I rarely drink alcohol. We never had a drink together until she took me to her sisters house. After 4 Budweisers she was this slobbering out of control drunk! Her sister later told me that she had had that problem for many years! Should I have just ignored that? I think NOT, and if you think I'm scum because I ended it that night, then you are the one who is deluded! Drunks don't need partners! They need serious help from professionals. Blind love committment will get you no where! In my first post, I was just interested in some feed back... I didn't expect or appreciate being flamed by an obvious man-hater! I will try not to hold it against you, but the ball is in your court lakeside...this is arkansas..people here get mixed up..they think when you said Metaphor..they went outside and were looking for some shoting Metaphors..lol..or they think its like you were talking about a woman.."Yea..i like her....i called her.and "metherfor" a drink... good luck lol
8/16/2008 8:48:53 PM	Only The Serious Need Apply
lakeside54321 Rose Bud, AR age: 46	In 1997, I met a girl online who was attending the same vocational school I had attended 2 years earlier. We talked for a while, then met in person. She lived just down the road 20 miles. We hit it off great! We became great friends. I had never known anyone so laid back and fun! We did not stress about things, we just loved each other. She had children, I had children... they got along well! Things were Great! Awesome long conversations about everything! Six months later I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her! We married on the beach in Florida, and I have no idea what happened to that girl! From the day I married her, she did not cease to be an absolute *****! She couldn't be happy with anything...and for 2 months this went on, with me telling her to come to her senses! She would cry and plead for forgiveness, and then be back to the same stupid thing the next day! Long story short... I left her, and moved on! A couple of years back, I came across her profile on Yahoo. It said "I'm so sick and tired of men who play head games!" At the time of mine and hers divorce, I had someone to remind me of that line in marriage vows "FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE" B.S!!! I DID NOT make a commitment to a terrorist! I DID make a commitment to a peacelover, or so I thought, but she was PLAYING HEAD GAMES, and then she turned around and accused others of doing it!
8/17/2008 7:55:50 PM	Only The Serious Need Apply
aboomer Hot Springs National Park, AR age: 51	I once thought that marriage to a faithful companion was what life was meant for. Unfortunately the old adage "Too soon old, too late smart" becomes uncomfortably evident in many cases. I have come to the opinion that maybe faithful devotion isn't much more than wishful thinking, if most would be realistic. I haven't met a woman yet who wouldn't cheat if the opportunity presented itself. Whatever the motivation, it seems that the norm is really the opposite of faithful monogamy, and if one gets caught then either lie your way out or move on down the line and play the game again. it's kinda like two soldiers, who going into battle have convinced themselves that nothing bad is going to happen, and when it does they fein absolute surprise. The old mores of faithfulness have been swept aside in favor of sensibility and reality. It's difficult dealing with a relationship when it's unknown whether that other person may decide to loose grasp of promises made or implied, and people being what they are, that could happen at any time. I think that maybe it is far better to treat interactions with others as if it were nothing more than a transitory friendship and respect the other persons space and actions as such. At least that way if the other person decides that they want to be free to pursue other people, places, or things then it's simply a matter of wishing that other person "Bon Voyage". Even accepting all this, the only real response has to be that of an optimist.
9/4/2008 9:00:37 PM	Only The Serious Need Apply
mamatoad Rogers, AR age: 66	Arkielady: I too did the sane type of thing, but due to the man's health problems. I made the trip several times and was informed that I was less than human because I did not want to sell my home and acerage and move into an3 room apartment in the middle of a city.....a no brainer.....I know now that he would not know truth if it jumped up and bit him in the ass. He called me a redneck, because I was blunt and to the point about things and did not beat around the bush.....There are jerks in both genders......You win some and lose some.......
9/5/2008 8:50:11 AM	Only The Serious Need Apply
arkansasnman Fayetteville, AR age: 45 online now!	No one want to be played with in a head-game......even people that do it to others. People that say "no head-games" in their profile are kidding themselves if they think that is an effective filter. So why do people play head-games at all? ......because they have an agenda. They want something, but don't feel like they will get it unless they circumnavigate the truth.
9/5/2008 8:11:30 PM	Only The Serious Need Apply
katrinasq Mena, AR age: 39	That is so true...If people only were honest, they might actually get what they want and save the rest of us the trouble of having to wade through the BS

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