| 9/12/2008 1:54:16 PM |
Broken families the "rule" rather than the "exception". |
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rarespeciman
San Francisco, CA
age: 41 online now!
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The moral collapse has caused untold damage to the family. In fact, any attack on the moral fiber of society is ultimately an attack on the family. The proof can be seen in statistics that now show broken families are the rule rather than the exception. Turn on almost any one of the daytime television talk shows, and you're likely to see families literally disintegrating before your eyes.
Organized efforts to undermine the family and family life are now being sponsored by the women's rights movement, the children's rights movement, and the gay liberation movement. Hardly an election day comes anymore, without including "gay marriage" initiatives and other voters' propositions whose sole purpose is to redefine the whole concept of family. These are perilous times for the family. Add into the sinister brew the changing concept of marriage, the increasing acceptance of divorce, and the obliteration of gender differences and elimination of any distinction between male-female roles--and it becomes easy to see why the concept of family today is nothing like it was just two decades ago.
The result is that families are disintegrating. Is there anyone left in our society who has not been touched in some way by divorce, broken families, child abuse, juvenile delinquency, and a host of other ills directly related to the breakdown of the family?
In every generation, the dissolution of marriages, torn families, and broken homes take a greater and greater toll. This generation's kids will reap what their parents have sown, and they'll plant seeds that will bear thirty, sixty, and a hundredfold. The rising numbers of ruptured families is now accelerating exponentially. What can we expect from future generations?
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| 9/12/2008 2:24:40 PM |
Broken families the "rule" rather than the "exception". |
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lillibet
New South Wales
Australia
age: 51 online now!
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We can probably expect from future generations that they will look before they leap....The days when we all got married to our childhood sweetheart or someone from our school days age group etc are long gone...Is that such a bad thing??I think not....My sons were the victims of a broken marriage and yes broken family they severed all contact with their father and have just one parent myself...They have no other family but they are very well adjusted young men...They have so much compassion for others for homeless people ,children suffering in Africa ,and other torn up countries..They have so much respect for others they love their mum and their girlfriends whom they have been with for many years..They have not ever been promiscuous they are happy well adjusted people...The days where everyone just rushed into marriage thinking happily ever after are gone but its not the end of the world...My advice to my sons was to do what they need and what they wanted in their lives before tying themselves down in marriage...You dont need that marriage certificate to be a healthy family..You need love and commitment ..Love is all it takes ...
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| 9/12/2008 2:28:31 PM |
Broken families the "rule" rather than the "exception". |
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washingtonbound
Suffern, NY
age: 21
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We can probably expect from future generations that they will look before they leap....The days when we all got married to our childhood sweetheart or someone from our school days age group etc are long gone...Is that such a bad thing??I think not....My sons were the victims of a broken marriage and yes broken family they severed all contact with their father and have just one parent myself...They have no other family but they are very well adjusted young men...They have so much compassion for others for homeless people ,children suffering in Africa ,and other torn up countries..They have so much respect for others they love their mum and their girlfriends whom they have been with for many years..They have not ever been promiscuous they are happy well adjusted people...The days where everyone just rushed into marriage thinking happily ever after are gone but its not the end of the world...My advice to my sons was to do what they need and what they wanted in their lives before tying themselves down in marriage...You dont need that marriage certificate to be a healthy family..You need love and commitment ..Love is all it takes ...
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| 9/12/2008 2:30:24 PM |
Broken families the "rule" rather than the "exception". |
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rarespeciman
San Francisco, CA
age: 41 online now!
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My advice to my sons was to do what they need and what they wanted in their lives before tying themselves down in marriage...You dont need that marriage certificate to be a healthy family..You need love and commitment
That's a contradiction.
[Edited 9/12/2008 2:32:25 PM]
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| 9/12/2008 2:40:52 PM |
Broken families the "rule" rather than the "exception". |
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lillibet
New South Wales
Australia
age: 51 online now!
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I fail to see the contradiction here unless you mean by my saying what i did about doing what they want in their lives before tying themselves down in marriage...Maybe they want to get married maybe they dont its their choice not mine...I dont want that marriage certificate i want love and committment .. I still stand by my beliefs that you dont need that piece of paper you could tear it up tomorrow but if the people involved really love each other then the unit will not crumble. Most of my sons friends come from broken families yet they are the most caring well adjusted sensible loving kids I have ever had the pleasure to meet...They are just amazing and so many of them care more about the suffering of others..The broken families has not broken their spirit but rather its has enchanced them...The young kids of my sons generation have very smart brains and great morals....I know they will do better than my generation because they know there is life outside of marrige ....
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| 9/12/2008 3:07:47 PM |
Broken families the "rule" rather than the "exception". |
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rarespeciman
San Francisco, CA
age: 41 online now!
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To suggest that you need commitment after stating that you don't need a marriage cirtificate( A legal document committing your bond to each other) is in itself a contradiction.
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| 9/12/2008 3:16:31 PM |
Broken families the "rule" rather than the "exception". |
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lillibet
New South Wales
Australia
age: 51 online now!
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Oh bullshit...The marriage certificate is just a bloody piece of paper someone invented ...But committment is giving your love and sharing your life because you choose to not because some flamming ceremony says this is what you must or must not do.Committment is from your own choice and freewill ...I do not desire a piece of paper to show committment to me or to give it to another...That will come from my heart and my willingness to stay by the other persons side...Our actions towards another show our committment our pledge to them...
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| 9/12/2008 3:18:05 PM |
Broken families the "rule" rather than the "exception". |
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dee16602
Altoona, PA
age: 42
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Non-traditional families are certainly more normalized in today's world. On one hand I disagree with you because I have raised my children mostly by myself since they were very young. Now before you start making judgements about how my family became non-traditional, I will tell you that I am a widow. My children have been through some ups and downs, but they are basically well adjusted. I am proud of what they have been, are, and I also believe in their future. Yes, my children's world is different than what I had growing up. I came from a traditional family. My mother and father were married until my father died. I do think that it is better for kids to be a part of a traditional family. There are not as many hurdles to overcome, but my children are better problems solvers than I was at their age and I believe they make better decisions than I did at their age. It is not that they will never fail, but hopefully they will be able to cope.
I work in the child welfare field and I think that alcohol, drugs, and a general ignorance as to what constitutes love and trust as the things that undermine children's potential rather than what "kind" of family they live in. Committment doesn't always come with the piece of paper, committment comes from within.
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| 9/12/2008 3:26:43 PM |
Broken families the "rule" rather than the "exception". |
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rarespeciman
San Francisco, CA
age: 41 online now!
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lillibet
New South Wales
Australia
age: 51 online now!
view all: posts | threads
joined: Jan. 2008
Oh bullshit...The marriage certificate is just a bloody piece of paper someone invented ...But committment is giving your love and sharing your life because you choose to not because some flamming ceremony says this is what you must or must not do.Committment is from your own choice and freewill ...I do not desire a piece of paper to show committment to me or to give it to another...That will come from my heart and my willingness to stay by the other persons side...Our actions towards another show our committment our pledge to them...
Just admit that you're a nonconformist! I'm a nonconformist too. But I'm not delusional. Just understand that just because you prefer to live your life as a rebel to everything doesn't exclude you from the obligations of the "REAL" world. And in the world....no kid wants to be ridiculed that his parents aren't married but shack up together because his/her mother doesn't believe in a piece of paper(legal document)because she's afraid of commitment.
DEFINITION OF COMMITMENT: 1 a: an act of committing to a charge or trust: as (1): a consignment to a penal or mental institution (2): an act of referring a matter to a legislative committee b: mittimus
2 a: an agreement or pledge to do something in the future ; especially : an engagement to assume a financial obligation at a future date b: something pledged c: the state or an instance of being obligated or emotionally impelled
YOU QUOTED:
Committment is from your own choice and freewill
You're construing your desire to be of free will(rebel) with commitment
[Edited 9/12/2008 3:37:40 PM]
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| 9/12/2008 3:35:15 PM |
Broken families the "rule" rather than the "exception". |
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dee16602
Altoona, PA
age: 42
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Rare if you were responding to me, I am not sure why you called me a rebel or a non-conformist. Sounds like someone burned "whatever was coming from your heart" real bad. Some things in my life I have chosen and some things I have not. Sometimes I wish people could explain the "heart" to me because my head usually makes my choices. It takes a long time to really display committment.
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| 9/12/2008 3:40:28 PM |
Broken families the "rule" rather than the "exception". |
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lillibet
New South Wales
Australia
age: 51 online now!
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Well I wouldnt be married to you because you like to argue and you keep looking for more things to argue about....My sons agree with my choice not to marry again..Children dont have the hangups that most adults have...Children are much more accepting than grown ups too...We could all learn a lot through the eyes and thoughts of children...We might complicate our lives but they dont...You are speaking for yourself when you say that about children and how they feel about parents shacking up as you called it....Have you actually ever asked a child about his /her thoughts on the subject..???My sons are adults now 24 and 21 ...Also why judge a person by their decision not to have that certificate??better to judge them by how they raise their family....I raised mine just fine and also have an adopted son who come from a broken family and an adopted daughter from another broken family they adopted me because I can give them the love and understanding they need...And i didnt need that paper to prove it...And some marriages are just hell and the children trapped in that hell are the ones who become a danger to the rest of the world....
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| 9/12/2008 3:45:30 PM |
Broken families the "rule" rather than the "exception". |
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rarespeciman
San Francisco, CA
age: 41 online now!
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lillibet
New South Wales
Australia
age: 51 online now!
view all: posts | threads
joined: Jan. 2008
Well I wouldnt be married to you because you like to argue and you keep looking for more things to argue about....My sons agree with my choice not to marry again..Children dont have the hangups that most adults have...Children are much more accepting than grown ups too...We could all learn a lot through the eyes and thoughts of children...We might complicate our lives but they dont...You are speaking for yourself when you say that about children and how they feel about parents shacking up as you called it....Have you actually ever asked a child about his /her thoughts on the subject..???My sons are adults now 24 and 21 ...Also why judge a person by their decision not to have that certificate??better to judge them by how they raise their family....I raised mine just fine and also have an adopted son who come from a broken family and an adopted daughter from another broken family they adopted me because I can give them the love and understanding they need...And i didnt need that paper to prove it...And some marriages are just hell and the children trapped in that hell are the ones who become a danger to the rest of the world....
Wisdom is handed.....DOWN......from one generation to the other and not in the manner you seem to have adopted through your sons.
I'm only arguementative to you because I am making a tremendous amout of sense and maybe you don't want to see this.
[Edited 9/12/2008 3:46:55 PM]
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| 9/12/2008 3:52:07 PM |
Broken families the "rule" rather than the "exception". |
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sassi_nepa
Factoryville, PA
age: 37 online now!
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rarespeciman said"statistics that now show broken families are the rule rather than the exception"
So who is being ridiculed in school exactly? Even in rural PA, more of my children's friends come from broken families and blended families than from traditional families. None of them would even think of teasing about something like that today.
rarespeciman said "Add into the sinister brew the changing concept of marriage, the increasing acceptance of divorce, and the obliteration of gender differences and elimination of any distinction between male-female roles--and it becomes easy to see why the concept of family today is nothing like it was just two decades ago."
And families just two decades ago were nothing like those of 2 decades previous, either. The concept of the "traditional" family (wife, husband, and 2.3 kids) is a post WWII propaganda machine. The accepted form of family before that had a lot more members. Extended families lived together - grandparents, parents, aunt & uncles and their children. There was a reason for this: survival. Without the technology that has developed since the early 20th century, we would still have that type of family today. My point is that you cannot blame the downfall of "family" on immorality only. Technology and economics have a lot to do with it too. Very few families can afford for the mom to stay at home these days, for example.
Now to answer the question: IMO, the prevalence of broken families seems to be having the opposite effect than what you stated, OP. In my observances (and admittedly, the group observed is specific to my area and limited), the teens that make up my daughters' peer group are more determined to get college educations and take their time in relationships in order to avoid financial and emotional stress in a future married life. Having so many of them from broken families today makes those teens want to do things quite differently than their parents have. I am hopeful for the future of the American family, even with different definitions. Gay, straight, black, white, christian, pagan - makes no difference, if the commitment to be united in love and to live in peace and happiness is there. And I think those commitments are making a comeback.
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| 9/12/2008 3:56:54 PM |
Broken families the "rule" rather than the "exception". |
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rarespeciman
San Francisco, CA
age: 41 online now!
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rarespeciman said"statistics that now show broken families are the rule rather than the exception"
So who is being ridiculed in school exactly? Even in rural PA, more of my children's friends come from broken families and blended families than from traditional families. None of them would even think of teasing about something like that today
What's your point? To prove mine?Scratches head!!!!!!
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| 9/12/2008 3:59:15 PM |
Broken families the "rule" rather than the "exception". |
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sassi_nepa
Factoryville, PA
age: 37 online now!
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My point is that you contradicted yourself. First you state that they are the rule rather than the exception, then you reply to lillibet that kids with a parent "shacking up" rather than getting legally married will get teased. Who's gonna tease them, when they are all in the same boat? If you think that all those divorcees are living by themselves, you are fooling yourself.
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