| 9/13/2008 6:52:41 PM |
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turquoiselady
Santa Cruz, CA
age: 58
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My husband passed away in March '06 and I have a major urge to leave this house and move to another state to start a new chapter in my life. I just want to start out fresh! Does this make sense and has anyone else done it?
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| 9/13/2008 7:32:03 PM |
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munchkin57
Medicine Hat, AB
age: 58
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It makes perfect sense.....It means you have finished a chapter in your life (mourning) and you are ready to move on to finish the book, you call your life. All the memories you collected during your time with your spouse are tucked away in the special memory file, for you to pull out at times when you want to share. But, you are young enough to go on and make new memories, somewhere else and with someone else.
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| 9/15/2008 6:25:15 PM |
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birdnerd
Big Rapids, MI
age: 44
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My dh (dear husband) just passed in May - on our 20th wedding anniversary. He was battling brain tumors for 5+ years and died a few weeks after a surgery we thought would extend his life by about 6 months. Before he died I purchased a new home that he had wanted to move to. While I wouldn't necessarily have chosen this timing to move my 5 kids and myself 3 hours away, it has turned out to be a great thing. Our new place is on 5 acres in the country. It is very peaceful and healing. We came here in July not knowing more than two families... we've been welcomed warmly and made so many new friends.
It is helpful to me to know that we can always jump in the car and drive back down to our old town. Close enough to visit, but far away enough to have to plan - no impulse visits! I still feel connected enough to the old place and welcome to return, but I love the new place and the peace I feel here. God is good!
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| 9/28/2008 9:13:28 PM |
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xlibra75x
Gateway, AR
age: 33
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After my wife died, and got to where I couldnt deal with it...I walked away from our 3 bedroom house on 3 acres in the country....what we always wanted. I even left the van sittin' in the driveway.....
....and never went back
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| 9/29/2008 10:09:21 AM |
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jazzmin1951
Kansas City, MO
age: 57
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Ughhhh...it disturbs me sometimes when I see so much sadness.
I didn't make any quick decisions about anything when Larry died...I gave myself time to grieve and work on my sorrow.
When I was ready...I had the same options..to move..or not...I chose 'not'...I did though completely redecorate and did some remodelling to make 'our home' ...MY home.
I do understand the urge to make quick decisions...but I personally didn't want to do anything that I would regret later...for me...my final decision was best for me.
I guess maybe what I'm finding the longer that I am in this forum...is that some people are made of different stuff than others.
I'm the kind of person who won't let much of anything push me down for long...I take what I have learned and move forward pretty quickly in a positive direction...I'm afraid if I stay down too long I won't be ABLE to get up !
I'm also not of the nature to be sad for very long. I just can't do it...I LOOK for things to make me happy again...
My heart goes out to those who are struggling to feel normality in their lives once more.
I can sit here all day long and say...Hang in there...It does get better...but unless you WANT it to get better...it probably won't.
so...I will say...
I hung in there...I looked for the positive...I remember my past...I will never ever forget what I had...but I live in the 'now'...I am and have been...building a new future so I can have a new past !
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| 10/1/2008 1:46:35 PM |
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sunshine2997
Albemarle, NC
age: 44
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My husband passed away in may of 04 and I can totally relate to your wanting to leave and start fresh right now that is in my plans in the near future....So you have to do what you have to do.......
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| 10/1/2008 3:59:54 PM |
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connier
Nampa, ID
age: 60
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I had also thought about just moving and starting over, but my husband worked so hard to make sure this place was paid for, I would not want to leave. it is my one security in life. he wanted to know that I would always have a safe place, and it is that. my neighbors all keep a good lookout on me, and that helps also. he also worried about me being alone, and I have good friends, old and new, that make sure I am only alone when I say I need to be. I have them and can call anytime, day or night.  
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| 10/1/2008 4:15:57 PM |
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enola2007
Madison, WI
age: 64
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makes sense to me my husband passed 1 month before yours I want to sell and move to a warmer climate and see if I can start a new cahpter in my life
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| 10/2/2008 4:43:06 AM |
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hhrchevyman
Sun Prairie, WI
age: 64
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I sold "our" house after the kids moved out but stayed here in Wi. to be close to them. I moved into "my" house 5 years ago. to start fresh.
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| 10/2/2008 10:01:20 AM |
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blondie1954
Royse City, TX
age: 54
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My beloved husband passed away Feb 05 , as many people will tell you no major decisions for at least 1 year. I did that. After a period of time I did some changes to our (my) home....but the loneliness just about ate me alive.  I didn't have family close by and the memories of our dreams together were shattered. After all... the material things in life are just not enough to out weigh the unconditional love, compassion and most of all my bestfriend not being there to share together. We had time to discuss these matters before he passed, and his repsonse was for me to move on with life. I decided to move closer to my grandkids and family (best decision for me). I stay very busy...yet I still own that home, its on the market now to sell and occasionally I go by there to check on things. When I walk thru the door, I still feel his presence.  But now its a good feeling knowing that I made a right decision for me. No advice given is the correct answer for everyone...its what your heart tells you what YOU need to do. This is all about surviving and learning what makes you happy again with life. Afterall we have to love ourselves before we can allow anyone else to love us!!!! My favorite saying is to Live Life - Laugh often  - Love Listen to your heart!!! I hope this enlightens someone out there that is dealing with these decisions. My prayers are with everyone that has these life changing decisions to make and live with.
I am very thankful for all my friends, family and DH friends.
Sincerely,
Darlene
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