| 10/6/2008 5:48:55 PM |
When Do Children Say It's Okay To Date Again? |
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mygenny
Linden, NC
age: 54
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When Do Children Say It's Okay To Date Again? Do you start looking if they say it's okay that you can start dating? I think they may think that you going to replace their Father or Mother and it takes a while longer for them to say it is time either father or mother you can start dating again. And the Children are still griefing over losing their father or mother. My son now is it is okay that his mother can start dating. Cause I asure him that I will never found anyone to be able full his father shoes. And I asure him also that no one will ever come close to be like his father, he wouldn't ever have to call this other man his father never. What do you think about this let me know? Thank You :: myGenny
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| 10/6/2008 6:15:07 PM |
When Do Children Say It's Okay To Date Again? |
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jazzmin1951
Kansas City, MO
age: 57
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okay...i know that we need to be tactful when it comes to this...but...I personally am not or would not...allow a young child to dictate my future happiness. I would certainly do whatever I needed to do to assure my child as you did...that I have a lot of love in my heart...and have special places for special people in my heart..including them.
I realize it's a touchy subject...my boys were grown..age 19 and 29 when their dad died..and even THEN I had some issues that we needed to sit down and discuss after their loss.
My grandchildren know...that I date...and they also know that I will also always love their papa...we speak of him frequently and lovingly...but they also know that I deserve happiness as well.
Children grow up and leave home to do their own thing...and ...they won't think TWICE about how you feel...and rightfully so...because it is THEIR life..they deserve to live it the way they choose...so...even though I'd be loving..and caring in my moving forward...I would not allow my kids to set me in a rocking chair on the porch wearing black being lonely for the rest of MY days.
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| 10/6/2008 6:28:40 PM |
When Do Children Say It's Okay To Date Again? |
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mygenny
Linden, NC
age: 54
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My son is 27yrs and he was very closed to his father. And I am going on with my life cause his father has been dead since 03-28-2007 and been 18months now and I still miss him but not as much as I did during the year that he died. We had a wonderful marriages of 26yrs. But I am going to take this dating thing slowly cause it new to me again. Thank you for your advice on this. :: myGenny :: 
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| 10/6/2008 6:53:30 PM |
When Do Children Say It's Okay To Date Again? |
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mimi1122
Cedar Rapids, IA
age: 46
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wise words Jazzmin.
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| 10/6/2008 8:57:12 PM |
When Do Children Say It's Okay To Date Again? |
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connier
Nampa, ID
age: 60
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my stepson is the one that really encourages me on the dating. he and his Dad were very close and he knew what his Dad wanted me to do, not be alone. so he keeps check on me and says if it makes me happy to go for it. my own sons are also okay with it. they just tell everyone that their Mom is 16 now.. we are all very close and they do worry but know that I am being careful, and they knew what a good life we had.
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| 10/6/2008 11:17:12 PM |
When Do Children Say It's Okay To Date Again? |
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9thstwonder
North Beach, MD
age: 50
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I agree with the 'wise words' of jazzmin...
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| 10/7/2008 6:55:39 PM |
When Do Children Say It's Okay To Date Again? |
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luvallnurses
Durant, OK
age: 54
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My sons were 8 and 12 when their Dad died. They are now grown and my oldest has children of his own. Of the two the youngest who has no children is the one who seems to understand things the most...loneliness that I have experienced...financial burdens that are born alone without help from any source....rearing two teenage son's without help from any source....and he is the one who constantly encourages me in every way. The oldest has yet to say "Mom you have sacrificed enough, get your own life now. We are grown." The youngest says it all the time...two boys with the same parents raised in the same home and with the same teaching, yet so very different. I have finally decided that I am tired of being alone...and just like my youngest says I have sacrificed enough. Long way around to say to you that some will never say it is okay..you must do what you have to do and they will accept. Even if not at first, they will eventually come around because they love you and want what is best for you.
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| 10/8/2008 6:33:50 PM |
When Do Children Say It's Okay To Date Again? |
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jeffy4bs
Cedar Rapids, IA
age: 41
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My wife died almost two years ago. She was married before we met and was 10 years older than myself and had two kids from her first marriage, whom are grown and starting families of their own. The oldest son, my stepson, says why are you waiting while my stepdaughter has mixed feelings. One time I talk to her she says great, go for it. The next time she says not to rush it. The son we had between us is very apprehensive about it. He says I don't want you to replace Mom. I say nobody can replace Mom.
I have decided I need to move on. As I tell my son living with me, you will be on your own some day and have your own kids as your brother does and your sister will soon have. I don't want to be without someone on an intimate level.
What I am saying is you have to move on. I have three children with all different opinions. When it comes down to it, you have to do what is best for you and when you do this, things work out. Not everyone is going to agree, but if they have your genuine interest in mind, they will understand eventually, if not immediately.
One last tidbit. The greif never goes away, it just rears up in different ways.
I hope I didn't ramble to much, but have also thought of this very much.
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| 10/9/2008 8:45:00 AM |
When Do Children Say It's Okay To Date Again? |
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9thstwonder
North Beach, MD
age: 50
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thanks for sharing jeffy it was helpful to me
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