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Forums: Groups: Washington Chat: Don't you think you should get out of the marriage before you move on?
10/12/2008 12:53:10 PM Don't you think you should get out of the marriage before you move on?  

painterlyone
Cinebar, WA
age: 58

 I received a wink a couple of days ago, and wrote back to say thank you, which I think you should do. Received this message this morning:

RE: hi
Message: don't get messed up with him he is still married and the kids live him because they live with me.

Men or women... please don't send out winks and e-mails if you are still married!!!!!

10/12/2008 12:56:41 PM Don't you think you should get out of the marriage before you move on?  

bobsmith5000
Milton, WA
age: 37

 maria, how are you.... you missed a great time last night... get up here.. cliff
10/12/2008 1:06:28 PM Don't you think you should get out of the marriage before you move on?  

painterlyone
Cinebar, WA
age: 58

 Hi Cliff.. I hope this goes through.. they won't let me post yet.
10/12/2008 4:06:54 PM Don't you think you should get out of the marriage before you move on?  

wish2bagain
Olympia, WA
age: 58

 One of the biggest problems that I think all of us know, dating sites are a hot bed for cheaters. You can hide how you are, you can be someone your not. I am sure many of you have seen the cartoon floating around of the man and women, he is older than dirt, balding, 400#, sitting at his computer, she is bout the same, maybe not quiet 400#, but hair in curlers, granny gown on. He says to her, I am 6'6", 200#, brown hair, deep blue eyes, drive a Maziratti, 6 pack abs. She says...umm...I am 5'7", 135#, blonde hair, hazel eyes, 38-26-34. That pretty much says it right there.

Winks, emails, whatever, is just that. It is a place to start and you never know who is on the other end. It doesn't take to long to figure out if someone is "hiding, laying low". A few emails and some pointed questions, and bingo...busted.

Are the non pay sites worse than the pay sites? Acutally I doubt it, maybe the non pay a skosh more.

How do you prevent this from happening? Don't allow winks? Thats a shame, cause you might miss that one person you have been searching for. Not allow emails, same again.

I don't think there is a fool proof way to prevent a fool, from trying to fool you.

Doubt this will ever change, but one can hope... What I wonder is, how many look at like hey, I look for a new job, before I leave my old one....LOL....WRONG...your dealing with other peoples lives then...not just your own

Gary



[Edited 10/12/2008 4:10:32 PM]
10/13/2008 4:15:06 PM Don't you think you should get out of the marriage before you move on?  

380rider
Puyallup, WA
age: 33

 So is he still living with the ex/wife/whatever? If yes than I can see the issue. Though realistically do you know all the details? Me and my ex lived together for like 8 months after we split up. But we both dated. When kids are involved.... nothing is easy. However I realize where women are getting from. I have dated several woman that found out after a couple months that the guy they were dating was married with kids at home. Hate to say it though.... Any woman, (or man for that matter), that can go 2 months with seeing someone and has yet to go to their house kinda asked for it. Granted there are cases where they might have 2 properties which there isn't much to be done then. Am I totally off the deep end on that one??

Anyways... so even if they are separated they should still not date untill the divorce is final???
10/13/2008 4:30:08 PM Don't you think you should get out of the marriage before you move on?  

painterlyone
Cinebar, WA
age: 58

 No, I don't think that should be the case (not date until divorce is final). Its just distressing to get an e-mail response from an obviously upset wife. Its a sad fact of life that people separate, especially when kids are involved, and who knows.. maybe the wife here is just being vindictive. The guy was way too young for me anyway, so was only saying thank you for the wink, but it makes me sad to see people go through such stress. Its an unpleasant reminder of how hard it is to make relationships work.

I wish them both luck. I hope they find what they're looking for. I really hope the kids are okay.

10/13/2008 8:07:50 PM Don't you think you should get out of the marriage before you move on?  

wish2bagain
Olympia, WA
age: 58
Quote from painterlyone:
No, I don't think that should be the case (not date until divorce is final). Its just distressing to get an e-mail response from an obviously upset wife. Its a sad fact of life that people separate, especially when kids are involved, and who knows.. maybe the wife here is just being vindictive. The guy was way too young for me anyway, so was only saying thank you for the wink, but it makes me sad to see people go through such stress. Its an unpleasant reminder of how hard it is to make relationships work.

I wish them both luck. I hope they find what they're looking for. I really hope the kids are okay.


Many are looking for something they can't find, many are looking for something they don't have. Any relationship is built on honesty, trust and above all "communication". no matter how insignificant one might think it is....a simple reply can do a lot.
10/13/2008 8:16:58 PM Don't you think you should get out of the marriage before you move on?  
chianne1951
Mead, WA
age: 57

 I think all but 2 winks that I have received over the last 3 months that they were all married. Maybe they just do it in there spare time, just like people who have porn addictions,very innocent, just can't help themselves. I don't know if tht made any sense or not, but then I never did. LOl Chi
10/13/2008 8:25:20 PM Don't you think you should get out of the marriage before you move on?  

wish2bagain
Olympia, WA
age: 58
Quote from chianne1951:
I think all but 2 winks that I have received over the last 3 months that they were all married. Maybe they just do it in there spare time, just like people who have porn addictions,very innocent, just can't help themselves. I don't know if tht made any sense or not, but then I never did. LOl Chi


ah chi, you always make sense....you are after all a legend in your own mind....
10/13/2008 8:47:38 PM Don't you think you should get out of the marriage before you move on?  

painterlyone
Cinebar, WA
age: 58

 would love to post an answer to this but I cannot until tomorrow at 9:40.
10/13/2008 8:48:44 PM Don't you think you should get out of the marriage before you move on?  

painterlyone
Cinebar, WA
age: 58

 lets try it in pieces...
10/14/2008 10:36:18 AM Don't you think you should get out of the marriage before you move on?  
chianne1951
Mead, WA
age: 57

 Legend??????????????????Want an autograph Gary? I'll autograph your Butt. You silly person.
Did you get in trouble Maria? I don't know how that works, haven't been in DH jail yet, surprised Gary? Chi
10/14/2008 12:02:18 PM Don't you think you should get out of the marriage before you move on?  

wish2bagain
Olympia, WA
age: 58
Quote from chianne1951:
Legend??????????????????Want an autograph Gary? I'll autograph your Butt. You silly person.
Did you get in trouble Maria? I don't know how that works, haven't been in DH jail yet, surprised Gary? Chi


Naw, nut'n u du sirprises me.....
10/14/2008 12:45:12 PM Don't you think you should get out of the marriage before you move on?  

hopesggma
Aberdeen, WA
age: 63

 Honesty isn't just for the internet. I met a man several years ago while out dancing with friends. Dated him for several months. I went to his cabin on the weekends, went on vacation, talked to him every wed. nite (he called me). Should have been a sign there but wasn't. This went on for quite a few months then he confessed he was still married. OMG
I was so hurt. It took forever to get over it. Now with cell phones anyone could carry on and not even leave a trail. Just don't know who you can trust.
BUT, if ya don't take a chance you will never know if he is the ONE. Ya meet a lot of toads sometimes before you meet the ONE. Try to get to know them before ya jump into the dating scene is my advise.................
10/14/2008 7:21:34 PM Don't you think you should get out of the marriage before you move on?  

painterlyone
Cinebar, WA
age: 58
Quote from wish2bagain:
Many are looking for something they can't find, many are looking for something they don't have. Any relationship is built on honesty, trust and above all "communication". no matter how insignificant one might think it is....a simple reply can do a lot.



Very true, some are looking for something they don’t have.. but, we’re all looking for something or we wouldn’t be here. As far as communication goes, half of being a good communicator is listening. Often people hear only what they want to hear and disregard the rest. For instance, if you tell someone that you're already involved, but they continue to pursue...it can be rather awkward, right?....simply listening can do a lot.