| 2/25/2007 2:26:33 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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ol_hillbilly
Lowry City, MO
age: 50
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Blowjob Etiquette (by a female)
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not standard
practice to cum on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard,
deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on
your d*ck?
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.
8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through
your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel
particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right
now.
9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls -
A Man's thoughts on Fellatio AKA Rebuttal Etiquette (by a male)
1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find
someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will.
2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier
than licking a dead fish.
3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to
you?
4. I will use your ears as I see fit.. don't worry about it and be thankful
I'm not pulling your hair.
5. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only
way to stop you from b*tching and moaning. Suck it up!
6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need
all the fluids you can get. Trust me.
7. You b*tch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the
short end of the stick in flavor country.
8. At least there is no danger of a d*ck bleeding in your mouth.
Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
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| 2/25/2007 10:19:21 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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sinfulcharming
Fort Wayne, IN
age: 43
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LMFAO.... that.... is funny as hell, Hill you should write a disclaimer with stuff like this, I am going to be laughing fo a while 
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| 2/25/2007 10:38:56 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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trojan536
Birmingham, AL
age: 60
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Sin, I dont know about you, but I started laughing so hard, anyway Im heading out the door with printed copy in hand, I'll be back. hillbilly, youre one of a kind. ( i hope )
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| 2/25/2007 11:12:22 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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eduard1982
OFallon, MO
age: 27
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Now thats some funny a** shit
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| 2/26/2007 11:44:59 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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mammyof4
Dungannon, VA
age: 51
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ROFLMAO. You come up with some good ones Hill. Keep them coming.
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| 2/26/2007 1:49:49 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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wolfy9459
Dayton, OH
age: 48
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Hill that was funny as hell. LMAO
Kenny
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| 2/26/2007 7:13:46 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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skydaddy
Covington, LA
age: 74
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At least there is no danger of a d*ck bleeding in your mouth.
Hey Hill, Some Funny, however you forgot to add "unless you're snaggle toothed" to the above quote.. 
[Edited 2/26/2007 7:15:22 PM PST]
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| 2/26/2007 8:33:14 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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traumadez
Westminster, CA
age: 47
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Hill...I'm speechless...lol
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| 2/26/2007 10:31:02 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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sinfulcharming
Fort Wayne, IN
age: 43
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Sky...that is just called a meat grinder
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| 2/26/2007 10:37:27 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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damnedsun
Bicske
Hungary
age: 39
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that is the truest shit ive ever read #7
[Edited 2/26/2007 10:38:01 PM PST]
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| 2/27/2007 11:04:36 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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whitehawk
Eugene, OR
age: 56
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ROFLMOA!
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| 3/4/2007 9:02:42 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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allen1956
Marion, NC
age: 53
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I laughed for about 5 mins, but I will be grinning for weeks. That was very funny.
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| 3/5/2007 10:31:44 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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shadows
Jasonville, IN
age: 51
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TOO COOL,LOL,Thats some good shit there,I dont care who you are!!!!!
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| 3/9/2007 10:44:10 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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phatdaddyj
Waynesville, MO
age: 37
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That was sooooooo funny! I'm gonna print it out and show all my friends!!! 
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| 3/10/2007 1:58:24 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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sinfulcharming
Fort Wayne, IN
age: 43
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A blow Job a day, keeps the mood swings away
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| 3/10/2007 7:53:11 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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traumadez
Westminster, CA
age: 47
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That's what keeps those away? I forgot!!!! lol
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| 3/10/2007 8:39:34 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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sinfulcharming
Fort Wayne, IN
age: 43
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he he he (My worrisome chuckle)
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| 3/11/2007 10:04:42 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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krazz
Whittier, CA
age: 57
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Mood swings????
I though we were talking about BJ's!
ROFL!!!! Too funny, Hill.....
Krazz
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| 3/12/2007 8:45:22 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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duckie1963
North York, ON
age: 47
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I am so disappointed.... I was hoping for some real hints... I suck at those.... no pun intended
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| 3/12/2007 6:40:30 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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luvinlifetothem
Biddeford, ME
age: 43
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LOL! Pun appreciated, though! Actually, its not just the sucking, its the licking and the lapping they appreciate, along with lots of hand involvement, yes?
The biggest rule of BJ etiquette, I believe, is Give, and yee shall receive!!!
(And showering together first makes us all happy!)
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| 3/12/2007 8:06:09 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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krazz
Whittier, CA
age: 57
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luvinlifetothem? Go to the head of the class. or in my case.... go to my stall.... There's a shower there too.... But you seem to have the technique down... for me!  And very correct on the "give and ye shall receive," thing....
ROFL!
Krazz
[Edited 3/12/2007 8:07:05 PM PST]
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| 3/12/2007 8:13:48 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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january1
Monroe, NY
age: 59
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LOL well I for one have never played by the rules and always bent them.
B
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| 3/12/2007 8:34:32 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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traumadez
Westminster, CA
age: 47
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Give it up Krazz!!! We know you too well...a new filly in the corals and you'll accept any technique!!! Not that a fellow nurse, like Lovin' probably doesn't have technique down!!! You know there's lots to be said for us nurses!!! LOL
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| 3/13/2007 1:25:40 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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ol_hillbilly
Lowry City, MO
age: 50
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I've heard stories bout nurses.
And can attest, some of em are true.
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| 3/13/2007 5:53:31 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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traumadez
Westminster, CA
age: 47
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LOL!!!
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| 3/13/2007 10:23:04 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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strongslowhand
Annapolis, MD
age: 48
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I kind of like the rule that says you shouldn't bend it, january!
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| 3/13/2007 11:25:08 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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unslightlynorml
Seaside, OR
age: 45
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Not even a lil bend Slow? just kinda sideways...just a little? LOL
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| 3/13/2007 12:34:05 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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january1
Monroe, NY
age: 59
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But slow if its bent the best part is me making it feel all better again and it will spring right back in place lol.
B
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| 3/13/2007 5:44:59 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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krazz
Whittier, CA
age: 57
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I feel funny.....
I NEED A NURSE.................. QUICK!!!!!
Oh wait, Don't bend it, please....
Krazz
[Edited 3/13/2007 8:32:54 PM PST]
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| 3/13/2007 10:07:19 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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sweetnurse
Verdigre, NE
age: 26
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That was a good one. I use to have a tongue ring and i got a lot of compliments about it. As for swollowing its not all that bad
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| 3/13/2007 10:50:08 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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traumadez
Westminster, CA
age: 47
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Krazz...Jan is the one talking about bending things not the nurses!!! In fact...
See...the nurses talk about tongue rings and such!!!! lol
And we appear sooo professional in our scrubs at your bedside when you are sick!!!
But on our night off...watch out!!!! lol
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| 3/13/2007 11:07:18 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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january1
Monroe, NY
age: 59
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LOL Dez, It seems that we all look alike to Krazz.
B
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| 3/14/2007 2:19:51 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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ol_hillbilly
Lowry City, MO
age: 50
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I sure dont wanna be called, "Benedict"!
(Bend it? Hell, he broke it.)
Just a local joke bout that last name.
I think I need a nurse, too.
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| 3/14/2007 5:25:22 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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traumadez
Westminster, CA
age: 47
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LOL
So what s/s are Krazz and Hill having that you need nurses? huh boys? Just trying to determine if you need a Trauma Nurse or not! I don't do much of any other type!! LOL
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| 3/14/2007 6:14:40 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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krazz
Whittier, CA
age: 57
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I guess I need to come in for a full eXXXamination, then?
LOL!
Krazz
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| 3/14/2007 11:10:56 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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ol_hillbilly
Lowry City, MO
age: 50
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Theres blood spurting everywhere! HELP!
~spurting blood excites trauma folks~
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| 3/14/2007 8:53:24 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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traumadez
Westminster, CA
age: 47
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Alright maybe we should call Trauma Activations!!!!
Call The Trauma Teams!!!! LMAO!!!
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| 3/14/2007 9:50:54 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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ol_hillbilly
Lowry City, MO
age: 50
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TA? I like some good T an A.
Oh wait, we're talkin bout sumpthin else, huh?
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| 3/14/2007 10:14:49 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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traumadez
Westminster, CA
age: 47
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I was going to tell you to control yourself Hill...Then I remembered the title of this topic!!! lol
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| 3/14/2007 11:49:02 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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reapercheater
Madison, VA
age: 47
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that was funny as shit. i told my wife and she didnt see the humor in it. next time i'll pull out and cum on her face.
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| 3/15/2007 7:21:00 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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stillfrisky
Joure
Netherlands
age: 65
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This has to be about the most entertaining thread I ever looked at. I think I am going to like it here as long as there are not too many people like the one who posted just before I did. What a bum.
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| 3/15/2007 6:05:18 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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krazz
Whittier, CA
age: 57
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Yeah, reapercheater, is another one of those "legends in his own mind!" He talks wife, and his profile says single.... Hmmmmm a BIG L on the forehead should suffice!
Now back to BJ heaven.... blood for the trauma team... and no bending, please...
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| 3/15/2007 6:10:27 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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alvin78
New Hudson, MI
age: 32
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Hill I saw those rules before, another friend of mine sent it to me, lol, I'm still laughing since then, keep posting that stuff man.
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| 3/15/2007 7:20:13 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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hiramlong
Naples, FL
age: 60
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It seems to me that the only rule for blowjobs, should be, "Whatever it takes,please your partner." I must say, however, that the rules set out by Hilly has set the bar too high for me.
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| 3/16/2007 8:17:01 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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tbone20
Burlington, NC
age: 37
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Damn Hill thats some funny shit... T
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| 3/18/2007 2:13:01 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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zordy
Omaha, NE
age: 75
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I bet You are!
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| 3/18/2007 10:00:28 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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lilly5
Memphis, TN
age: 48
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Ok, part of this is so funny!
But I had to respond to these lines...
1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find
someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will.
2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier
than licking a dead fish.
re 1. - if ya COULD get a better girl, you'd BE with her already!!!
re 2. - teaspoon? TEASPOON??? you need vitamins if all you are making is a TEASPOON. But really, "dead fish?" WHO have you been with?
A normal, clean, healthy woman does not have dead fish. Realize when a man does not know how to wash and DRY around his balls there is a stank that can make a grown girl cry. What both men and women have is great - both sexes have to take care of it or the sex is lousy. One is NOT nastier than the other.
You want some great p...y? Learn to love it.
(main point here...people buy sex toys and everything else for a good night, why not take the time to wash again even if you did a few hours earlier? Both people!)
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| 3/18/2007 10:03:00 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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lilly5
Memphis, TN
age: 48
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P.S. Bleed? If a woman bleeds outside of her period it's a very serious sign and she needs to see a dr, right away. All this scared of the p...y stuff...when a man loves it and communicates that to his partner, he gets the hottest sex.
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| 3/18/2007 10:22:07 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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mammyof4
Dungannon, VA
age: 51
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loosen up it was a joke get it joke. laugh and forget about washing yourself for a minute.
Now you got me thinking about it not good my big mouth will spout off with have you washed your balls good.
LMAO
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| 3/18/2007 11:10:43 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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duckie1963
North York, ON
age: 47
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omg.... I had to go back to page one to make sure I was still in the same thread.... Lily you do realize this was posted as a Joke right?
Hill, Trojan.... I'm looking for you guys... but I know ur not in Kansas anymore....lol
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| 3/18/2007 11:20:23 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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ol_hillbilly
Lowry City, MO
age: 50
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Duckie! Bring the truck. I'm thinkin its time fer a road trip. After dealing with this weekend, I'm thinkin a gas can fulla everclear and a road trip wud be a good thing. What we dont drink we can pour in the tank.
Yer drivin.
Oh an for the humorless folks, this IS a Joke. I didnt write it, I posted it.
Dayyyum! Whats with all the seriousness? 
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| 3/19/2007 4:55:36 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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mammyof4
Dungannon, VA
age: 51
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People that don't know what a joke is don't need to be here reading them.
go get serious somewhere else we love these jokes.
and that's all i got to say about that.
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| 3/19/2007 7:16:06 AM |
Blowjob Rules |
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eroticartist
White Plains, NY
age: 51
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omfg! I've sent this out to all my friends. Sell this to the "Cable Guy"
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| 3/19/2007 1:11:04 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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firebirdrider07
Weslaco, TX
age: 22
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HAHAHAHAHHAHA I loooove this!
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| 3/19/2007 1:43:25 PM |
Blowjob Rules |
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wolfy9459
Dayton, OH
age: 48
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Damn Hill you cant even tell a joke without being YELLED AT. LMFAO
Kenny
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