Why do women get so attached so fast?

12/21/2008 1:01:22 PM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
shawn156 Terre Haute, IN age: 34	I Have been single for nearly 8 months and have dated a few women.After a few dates,they get attached and want a lot more then I am looking for at the time. Why is it so hard to just go out for dinner watch a movie hang out?Why rush into things.I am not getting any younger but damn come one,I am not looking for a wife,just friendship and someone to share some time with. Maybe they are all crazy hell who knows! Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
12/21/2008 1:33:29 PM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
fastpony Hammond, IN age: 34 online now!	people are different. maybe they feel good to be close to someone. and at 32,they would assume you'de atleast be looking for a girlfriend,you never know. but judging by the immaturity at the end of your comment,i wouldnt let MY sister go out with you. you should never criticize a woman for feeling good around you.
12/21/2008 1:40:12 PM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
shawn156 Terre Haute, IN age: 34	I would go as far as saying that.But when I am upfront and tell them I am NOT looking for a g/f or anything,then they should just accept that and go with the flow and see where things end up at.I would much rather go slow,then jump in the fire and it end badly. I guess I am just different.
12/21/2008 1:46:27 PM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
sweetpotato3 Albion, IN age: 60	Quote from fastpony: people are different. maybe they feel good to be close to someone. and at 32,they would assume you'de atleast be looking for a girlfriend,you never know. but judging by the immaturity at the end of your comment,i wouldnt let MY sister go out with you. you should never criticize a woman for feeling good around you. Fastpony can I adopt you? Tell the girl upfront that you don't want a long term relationship...easy as that...
12/21/2008 3:11:39 PM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
fastpony Hammond, IN age: 34 online now!	sweetpotatoe...been meaning to tell ya this. i would never ever go past 35 in dating. but it seems like we both keep up in the forums,and i love just about every reply you give to these things. sincerly said. i enjoy seeing ya in them. our thoughts are identical. hmmm, might concider changing the age range. you're awesome.
12/21/2008 3:20:14 PM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
fastpony Hammond, IN age: 34 online now!	shawn,i didnt mean to insult ya. women look at the big picture a few years before we do. im guessing as far back as 14-15 yrs old. they wanna feel secure with someone,even on a simple date. if you tell them a good idea of what you're about,then atleast you can feel a little better about that. it wont make you look so bad. but you have to know your limitations too. if you clarify what you want,dont confuse them by having sexual rendevous. unless the feeling is mutual. because im sure theres exeptions out there where people have needs. it doesnt make them bad people. the majority of women that we go out with,no matter what age......they look up to a guy like you wouldnt beleive. a man is their everything. so,be easy on em.
12/21/2008 3:52:23 PM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
carllove1 Austin, IN age: 49	when i wwas 18 to 25 it was nice to hold her all night long, see that is what is called falling in love, just looking at the stares, i fill that we know how to fall in love, but do we whant to or what. i see me standing back when a woman says i love you on the 2 date, i dont know why, i whant to know her and let her in my life, but i cant love her till i know she can love me for life not just love me in 2 days get to know me
12/21/2008 4:42:30 PM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
fastpony Hammond, IN age: 34 online now!	ok,so....if she says she loves you. take a breather,stop, and talk about it. if the feelings are there,go on more dates. half the time a girl says she loves you,it might also be her saying "i love being with you". to me,thats a green light. im one of those rare deals where i dont think its too soon to be told strong words. because hopefully,the 2 of you are getting a hint of how you feel about eachother by talking alot,not just making out. why am i a beleiver in this? i know its rare,but...my parents met and got married after just 3 weeks. they just celebrated their 33rd anniversary. its just a feel that you get from the other.
12/21/2008 7:36:50 PM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
sweetpotato3 Albion, IN age: 60	Shawn I think your right when you say that you want to take it slow. Hope I wasn't rude when I said it was easy just tell them. I thought about it and sometimes you may be trying to tell them but they aren't hearing you. Women in their 20's think differently , then women in their 30's..Be true to yourself but be kind .... As for you fastpony..Thanks for the nice words We do think alike.. Now if I can find an old man with your manners I am set...
12/21/2008 7:54:46 PM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
shawn156 Terre Haute, IN age: 34	Thanks! I am pretty honest about things and I had a rough 13 years with someone that involved having 2 kids.After only 7-8 months of being apart from her and having 2 kids to raise by myself,I don't think some women can understand it. I don't ever rule out about having a g/f someday,just right now with work and taking care of kids,I can't have women being so attached to me that it effects my everyday life I have to live. Taking care of kids alone is enough to deal with,dr appts school therapy that kind of stuff and alone time with the kids.Right now,them things are more important to me then a relationship. Like I said before,I am in no rush and if something never comes along,I am ok with that but that isn't going to stop me from trying to find someone who does understand what I have to do and understand I don't have a lot of time on my hands. I try to explain to them that after 13 years of being out of the dating thing,and what hell I went through with my ex,getting back in is somewhat of a challenge for me and that I really don't know what I am looking for.I try to be as open minded as possible about it but some don't understand. As far as my comment about all women being crazy,I didn't mean it that way.I have met a few that were actually nice and have hung out with them as friends,not dating or anything. As far as sex goes,right now,that is the worst thing to do,would be nothing but rebound sex and we all know how that goes. [Edited 12/21/2008 7:56:02 PM ]
12/21/2008 8:47:53 PM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
fastpony Hammond, IN age: 34 online now!	wow,shawn. you're clearly a good guy with some substance. i honestly did get on here thinking i'd hit it off with someone,go on a couple of dates,and it wouldnt be that hard. most of these people wont last 3 days in conversation with ya...its living proof. and i honestly get more enjoyment off the forums actually. theres some nice people on here. on to you now. my breakup was bad too. i was leaning on breaking up with her because she got so bad with how she presented herself,around my family too. it just got to a point to where i couldnt do it anymore. but i kept at it because there was time and memories invested,i loved someone but there was no future either. it hurt knowing this. being with her for 5 yrs and all. i was with someone who had no heart of felt nothing when she hurt me. she left a 10 sec. message on my phone,saying she couldnt do this anymore. when i should of been THE ONE to break it off with her,that really hurt. so....there was no phone conversation,no note,no letter...nothing. how can ANYONE break it off with someone like this? it took about a year to pull myself together,it was devistating. with no closure,it can cause alot of mental damage if you let it. i then told myself that everything bad about her will be noticed by the new guy. the bad person never see's this....until they completely crumble one day. then they look back and realize everything they did to shatter a relationship. so,talking to people gives me strength,it helps. i know im a good guy thats above average in your typical guy,im just waiting for the right one. as for you? your life and schedule isnt going to change,your life is how it is. but if you see something good come along,you'lle know and feel it. dont run from it. embrace it. you may not be ready,but...train yourself to trust again,and know love when it comes along.
12/21/2008 10:36:46 PM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
shawn156 Terre Haute, IN age: 34	Great Advise fast pony.Should I even spill how mine ended lol. I get woke up by a phone call with my ex on the other end laughing and saying she cheated on me after 13 years.The summer was nothing but horrible with the tug of war with the kids,her new b/f now husband constantly harassing and making threats towards me.in the end,it all came back to bite her on the ass.I have my kids and she is left with almost nothing.I'll be the first to admit I have trust issues and that could be my reason for only wanting friends.Right now,I just want to get to know someone and leave the door open to meet as many as I can.Why settle for one friend when I can have many and if 1 does happen to stand out,I'll go with it. So far,I have not felt to much of a connection with any of them.
12/22/2008 6:38:59 AM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
cabby37 Delphos, OH age: 51	It is not just women that do this it is men as well, and i think it has to do with not wanting to be alone and or just trying to hold on to someone once they have someone there
12/22/2008 8:39:50 AM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
woody08 Lawrenceburg, IN age: 41	Shawn, Here's my $.02 worth...If you're a decent guy, and it appears from your responses in this thread you are, you are a catch. What I've found out in the past year of being single again, if a guy is somewhat attractive, mature, stable financially and emotionally, treats people well, confident etc., you are a hot ticket item. Seems like a lot of the women I've dated have been in some bad relationships in the past and when they get a "good one", they want to hold onto him. I've been the same situation and have told ladies up front that this is all still fairly new to me and that I'm not looking for a wife at this point, but things always seem to click into warp speed. Bottom line is that there are a lot of loser guys out there and if you're a good one, you're desirable. From what my "girl friends" have told me, there are waaaaay more losers out there than decent guys.
12/22/2008 2:47:50 PM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
shawn156 Terre Haute, IN age: 34	Never looked at it in that way.I'm not well off but I do work and pay the bills and buy a few extras. I understand what you are saying and that may be the case.After 13 years,I really don't know what women are thinking.Times have changed and I never really paid much attention to other peoples relationships,I had my own to deal with.I was 20 when I had my first child and was with her up until this past April so yeah,I was young then.As I have aged,I have gotten a bit wiser and really think things out more then I did before.I just don't jump into bed with anyone.When I was 19-20 years old,it was a different story. The things we learn as we get older makes us wiser. I am currently seeing a therapist to try and deal with all that I have went through in the past few months and he said that I am pretty level headed and try to be adult about things compared to a lot of the people he has seen.
12/23/2008 7:00:35 AM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
woody08 Lawrenceburg, IN age: 41	Shawn, Seeing a counselor is one of the best things you can do, not only for yourself, but those around you. Without going into details, my split from my ex wasn't my choice. Easiest way to explain it is she had the classic mid-life crisis...I was married for 15 years and with her for 17 total. My "D" was final last March, so it's still new to me as well. I'd say by your responses, you are extremely level headed. Whomever is giving you advice about not jumping into bed is right...been there, done that and although it's comforting to have a warm body next to you, it is hollow and empty. I'd have never thought that in my younger years, but sex won't fill the void your feeling right now. The counselor that I had seen suggested waiting about 2 years before getting into a serious committed relationship. Had tons of statistics to back up the two year wait. Good luck my friend.
12/23/2008 7:35:21 PM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
lottsafreckles Medora, IN age: 45	Its not just women. After my divorce I realized very quickly that in the 20yrs since I'd last dated...the rules had changed...drastically, and no one had informed me! My intentions were not to "dive in" head first into a relationshipe...but to take it slow...form a friendship first...then go from there. Id told myself that if the "right" guy came along I wouldn't run. My perception was that most men just wanted to "love em & leave em"...but I found out very quickly that wasn't true! Many men on the 2nd or 3rd date would begin to discuss me meeting their children or family or talking long term. Of course...I ran like a deer. After much thought I realized men or women for that matter that start talking long term in the early stages of a relationship lack self esteem and think that such discussions will "seal the deal" and keep the other person around. Since, I've used it as in indicator. It's not fool proof just another tool. A few months ago I met (online!) a wonderful man. We've not made any committments but are taking things very slow. He has restored my faith in MAN-kind...haha. Slow and steady wins the race!
1/2/2009 6:54:17 AM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
mylove102 Union City, IN age: 27	well i can tell u why some woman get attached. if they have been in a abusive relationship for 8yrs like i have. and then they meet a guy who won't beat on them and treats them right that is who they want to be with. im telling u this because im one who would get attached quickly if u a good guy and will treat woman right. just telling the truth.
1/2/2009 7:48:25 AM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
fastpony Hammond, IN age: 34 online now!	mylove102,its funny that you brought that up,because i was thinking along those lines before starting to write. some people come from such bad situations that they didnt deserve,that when something good comes along,it just feels good. if you go out with someone and the time just seems to fly by with them,and you literally cant say goodnite,then thats a good date. men AND women want that feeling,so....if the feeling is mutual towards eachother,then theres no such thing as "getting attached too fast" my parents met and MARRIED after just 3 weeks when i was a year old!! try that in this day and times.
1/2/2009 11:29:54 AM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
mylove102 Union City, IN age: 27	exactly..u r right
1/4/2009 2:30:27 AM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
shawn156 Terre Haute, IN age: 34	Quote from mylove102: well i can tell u why some woman get attached. if they have been in a abusive relationship for 8yrs like i have. and then they meet a guy who won't beat on them and treats them right that is who they want to be with. im telling u this because im one who would get attached quickly if u a good guy and will treat woman right. just telling the truth. I can understand that.There are 2 that keep calling me and wanting more now but I Have told them I am not wanting anything more right now then friends. IN fact,its 5 am and one keeps calling now go figure. One came out of a 14 year relationship that was bad and the other just jumps from relationship to relationship,moving way to fast and getting hurt every time (the one that keeps calling now) But then there is this other one who I was dating,we are still friends,that I really liked.We dated for about 4 months and me and the kids stayed with her over the summer a lot,even sleeping in the same bed without sex.The issue never really came up.She was what I was looking for but things happen and for now,we have put things on hold until I finish counseling.I don't have to worry about her looking for someone else,we talk often and she works a lot and isn't the type to go sleep around.Kids liked her as well.She doesn't have any kids so she had a lot of fun with mine.We still go out about once a month with the kids and have fun,then watch a movie or 2,which is good.That is how I would rather take things with someone.Not saying we will ever be together again,but at least I got a cool friend who I can trust and talk to.We have talked about our future but still putting things on hold. She has been on vacation for a few weeks and not in town and we haven't talked much but I've been thinking about her.She knows how to bring me out of my shell,somehow.And as mentioned above,when we were dating,knowing she had to be up early for work and I had to get the kids to school early the next day,we always found ourselves up until 3 am talking either in her bed on on the phone. [Edited 1/4/2009 2:37:05 AM ]
1/18/2009 3:02:04 PM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
aleasha Indianapolis, IN age: 27	Its not always the women who get attached fast and want more than is offered or available. I have dated many guys who did the same thing. So it isn't only a female thing its just the individual. Wrong people is all I can really say keep looking you will find what your looking for eventually either that or have a whole lot of fun while trying.
1/18/2009 4:49:10 PM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
ravenweng2003 Elizabethtown, IN age: 58	To people who say they were abused and then get treated well so they form an attachment, didn't the one who abused treat you good to start with and then change. Seems that learning that there are good people out there male and female would make you want to get to know a few of them. People I've talked to in the past who have jumped into to a relationship just as soon as someone treated them well, not always, but more often than not see them change once they've settled in. Take time, learn more, be patient and be safe. Better to be sure than sorry, again. Where there's one good guy (or gal) there have to be others.
3/23/2009 2:41:41 PM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
shawn156 Terre Haute, IN age: 34	Quote from ravenweng2003: To people who say they were abused and then get treated well so they form an attachment, didn't the one who abused treat you good to start with and then change. Seems that learning that there are good people out there male and female would make you want to get to know a few of them. People I've talked to in the past who have jumped into to a relationship just as soon as someone treated them well, not always, but more often than not see them change once they've settled in. Take time, learn more, be patient and be safe. Better to be sure than sorry, again. Where there's one good guy (or gal) there have to be others. Ha! someone should of told my ex that.She lost the kids,the house and everything else.Has been in jail a few times along with her husband.I can now sit back and laugh at them for her stupidity. What you said is exactly what the guy she is now married to has done.Shown her attention she liked and tried to make himself look good and now she is stuck with some violent worthless loser who won't work.I am glad to be away from her after looking back on how our relationship was.I think the therapy has made me see things for what they were and has helped me a great deal. [Edited 3/23/2009 2:42:27 PM ]
4/2/2009 2:52:26 AM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
michael_barcher Bullhead City, AZ age: 54	Common text book knowledge... Men are judged by their careers... Women are judged by their relationships... just the facts. Michael
6/25/2009 2:23:03 PM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
j075 West Terre Haute, IN age: 34	I don't think women get attached. I believe they just want to. In fact I feel sorry for men that feel so affaird of things they don't understand.Why inall this you just didn't ask the person? Not everyone else. As a matter of fact men get just as attached as women. It's juat the ones you choose. So it's juat as much your fault as it is theres.
6/25/2009 2:32:58 PM	Why do women get so attached so fast?
j075 West Terre Haute, IN age: 34	you know what you are right. some of us go through a really rough phase in our lives and its hard to get past but never forget you wait to long and that good one will pass you up. wish you all the best.

mega personal classified

mega personal sign up