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2/17/2009 8:16:22 PM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  

lisadomz
Saint Paul, MN
age: 38


I have been on this dating site and a couple others for the last few months. Everytime I think I have found someone I could really like they pull a stupid stunt and make it impossible for me to trust them. I have not given up but it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth for the next guy I date. Anyway I am just venting tonight, I am sure tomorrow will be better. Anyone have any advice so I stop picking out the frogs and finally find a true prince?

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2/17/2009 8:44:22 PM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  

opticaljl
Staples, MN
age: 68


Lisa; Be thankfull you were able to discover the stupidity in time. I was not so fortunate and will suffer to my dying day because of it.
I have viewed your comments and I do know you have a good head on your sholders, I did not heed the red flags in my relationship with my daughters mother, was thinking with my heart not my head. Take your time and use your head, so many young people are in this MN form and I usually choose not to get involved with all the BS.
I have met many serious people on DH, not that many women my age close enough to the Staples area, that really want to date.
Keep your head up, don't settle for any looser.

2/17/2009 9:16:56 PM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  

lisadomz
Saint Paul, MN
age: 38


Thanks for the kind encouraging words. I pride myself on not falling for the usual "lines" but sometimes I think I just get sucked in since I want it to be true. Each time I figure out I am being lied to it just puts another brick on the wall around that organ I like to call my heart. But alas, I'll keep trying with eyes wide open. My prince is bound ot be out there somewhere......

2/17/2009 11:24:20 PM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  

nerull
Minneapolis, MN
age: 24


I know how you feel, when it comes down it to i am a complete sucker and not nearly as big of a jerk as i come across on here haha. I've learned my lesson from the few ive dated and now know better in the future to look out for what i missed to start with. Think of it as another Chapter in to your book of "what to look out for" instead of closin up ur heart.

2/18/2009 4:21:50 AM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  

lucky7708
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (25,553)
Minneapolis, MN
age: 69


Some people haven't learned the value of trust yet.

2/18/2009 6:22:35 AM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  
lostnwoods47
Minneapolis, MN
age: 51


Trust is something earned in time, sometimes just look the other way hope for the best.
Funny

2/18/2009 1:22:19 PM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  
jw6919
Princeton, MN
age: 42


lets but it this way dont want to generalize but majority of people out there worry about getting hurt so just when they fill like its time to give more of themselves they panic and want to hurt the other before they get hurt. but dont give up im like you in that and do believe with patient things will fall into place and that when you can trust to catch you when ever you fall will be out there.

2/19/2009 8:08:30 AM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  

plaidflannel
Green Isle, MN
age: 47


maybe the problem lies within you(not saying it does but)examine what has happened in your past that you may have trust issues with.Everyone has their red flag issues but maybe just maybe you are looking for those flags because you yourself have imperfections?
I am just giving out ideas I am not a psycho analyst or anything but No one will ever meet
all of your criteria if you have hopes of meeting the perfect person with looks charisma ,talent and truthiness.You can find reasons to eliminate every person if you only dig deep enough.I believe it's only when you are willing to look past imperfections
that love can grow.But then again they say you may have to meet hundreds of people to find a trustworthy one.Protect yourself SURE! but also be willing to let your self go a little.
Also if you date a lot you can pick out the tics or quirks that are a dead give away for liars club members.Or if you study human behavior,make no mistake some people are gifted liars but give them enough rope as they say....

2/19/2009 5:17:13 PM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  

lisadomz
Saint Paul, MN
age: 38


Quote from plaidflannel:
maybe the problem lies within you(not saying it does but)examine what has happened in your past that you may have trust issues with.Everyone has their red flag issues but maybe just maybe you are looking for those flags because you yourself have imperfections?
I am just giving out ideas I am not a psycho analyst or anything but No one will ever meet
all of your criteria if you have hopes of meeting the perfect person with looks charisma ,talent and truthiness.You can find reasons to eliminate every person if you only dig deep enough.I believe it's only when you are willing to look past imperfections
that love can grow.But then again they say you may have to meet hundreds of people to find a trustworthy one.Protect yourself SURE! but also be willing to let your self go a little.
Also if you date a lot you can pick out the tics or quirks that are a dead give away for liars club members.Or if you study human behavior,make no mistake some people are gifted liars but give them enough rope as they say....


I sometimes wonder if it is me who keeps picking out the wrong ones.... I think everyone has to be careful to some extent but the fact that I am still out here looking hopefully says I am willing to give the right person a chance. While no one is perfect, including me, I have certain standards I would like a boyfriend to meet. First and foremost I want someone I can trust and who trusts me. They have to be kind to others (not just me), be intellegent but free thinking, think I am beautiful (not just on the outside) and be someone I can introduce to my family and friends. I don't think that is too much to ask and since I have been waiting a long time to find that person I am not willing to settle on any of those qualities. So maybe it is me....

2/19/2009 7:48:42 PM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  
septjan
Lake Benton, MN
age: 50


because its a money game out there i was in the process of getting divorced when i found out my lawyer Renee Diabold was knifing me in the back she was on my wifes side. people like this should be put in jail and left there to rot.

2/20/2009 7:42:16 AM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  

hobo4luv2u
Foley, MN
age: 59


Maybe you should look at different avenues for dating someone. Examine where you find your dates now and the types you're attracting, or the type of clothing you are wearing when you meet someone. Are your clothes suggesting one thing when you mean something altogether different? Are your feelings getting desparate for love or lust? It all takes time to know the real truth of anyone, so don't rush into anything you will have regrets for later. Don't place so much emphasis on whom you're hooking up with, be patient, stay focused for what it is you desire. When the person is right, you'll know from the start. Time will tell of the destiny.

2/20/2009 6:28:13 PM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  
tomho99
Forest Lake, MN
age: 49


Lisa.
Sometimes i think it's not just a lone incident that should be the determining factor. You'll have to be the judge how bad he screwed up. I have done some stupid things that didn't seem so dumb until my sister told me how it might have been perceived.

Your the only one who can do the math on whether he's worth a second chance. I've been out of dating practice for a long time. I've lost contact with some fabulous women and I'll never know what i did that made them think I went from a great guy to uber idiot in a matter of minutes. Some just quit answering all forms of communication and i felt I lost friends in the process.
Good luck,
Tom

2/20/2009 9:44:24 PM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  

golferjon84
San Antonio, FL
age: 45


Lisa

Your prince is out there waiting for you to and will just need the chance to prove himself. Sometimes if we give the unexpected a try we find it was what we were looking for all along. I have found that I have to fight against finding the same type of person that I seemed to end up with. I have to actually make sure I go away from what I think I know and move towards the unknown because what I thought I knew and wanted was wrong. Find someone strong and confident in themselves and you will find someone who is loving and honest with you.

2/22/2009 8:34:10 PM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  
ownlife
Burnsville, MN
age: 23


Quote from nerull:
I know how you feel, when it comes down it to i am a complete sucker and not nearly as big of a jerk as i come across on here haha. I've learned my lesson from the few ive dated and now know better in the future to look out for what i missed to start with. Think of it as another Chapter in to your book of "what to look out for" instead of closin up ur heart.


I like your style.

I've been in the same situation. For some reason, probably because I'm "too nice", I only seem to get crazy women. Seriously, crazy. I fell in love with a girl and ignored all of the flags, now I'm out the cost of an engagement ring and in the process of mending the damage.

2/25/2009 12:43:44 PM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  
tommy2tone1717
Cloquet, MN
age: 26


Yes i can relate it happens or will happen to all of us who fall victom into it... thares not any reason i put up with it untill i poot my foot down an yet i look at it in another way is.. im gonna marry should be my best friend... ill have to live with her right? trust her as she should the same. care for her . be thare.... ect ect...

3/7/2009 2:09:44 PM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  
septjan
Lake Benton, MN
age: 50


this day and age its all about money if they can get it from you they will. people are out for them self

3/7/2009 3:34:37 PM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  
bald1969
Saint Paul, MN
age: 41


First six months is a trial period. Men would bullshit or be really nice to a girl several months to get them in the sack. But other hand really the good old boys come in last. You are a foxy lady sorry the guys dating sucked.

3/8/2009 5:52:06 PM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  

lisadomz
Saint Paul, MN
age: 38


Thanks. I think you are right. The first few months or so when you are dating everyone is on there best behavior. The problem is trying to decipher the difference between the players and the true good guys. I will just keep going on with my search with my eyes wide open....

3/10/2009 1:18:51 PM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  

waxtraxx
Saint Paul, MN
age: 36


humans are inherently flawed. some are more loyal, trustworthy and devoted, others are selfish, careless, deceitful. trust takes time to develop and sometimes it's more difficult to discover when they're being deceitful. i have trust issues with women and desire a loyal, honest, nonjudgemental female, but... i'm starting to have my doubts that there are any out there. please prove me wrong. best of luck. btw - i'm new to dh.

3/10/2009 6:37:31 PM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  
montscougar
Balsam Lake, WI
age: 47


HONESTY, SINCERITY,CARING FOR OTHERS,TRUST SEEMS, TO BE A LOST ART. I FOR ONE WILL NEVER CHANGE . CARING,TRUST,HONESTY,IS ALL WE REALLY HAVE TO MAKE OURSELVES AND OTHERS FEEL GOOD. IT MAY HAVE BEEN OUTLAWED WITH HISTORY AND COMMON SENSE.

3/10/2009 6:52:12 PM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  
montscougar
Balsam Lake, WI
age: 47


LIFE WOULD BE GRAND IF WE ALL RECIEVED THAT WARM AND COMFORTING FEELING OF MUTUAL LOVE AND HAPPINESS. IM ALRIGHT WITH THE FACT THAT IM ABLE TO MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH,AND FEEL IMPORTANT. MAYBE IM TO SENSETIVE.

3/13/2009 10:27:18 AM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  
kennylingus
Windom, MN
age: 48


Why is it so hard to find someone you can trust?

Because generally speaking, "Most people Suck".

3/16/2009 7:09:21 PM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  
septjan
Lake Benton, MN
age: 50


Lisa dont go for those guys who think they are big studs try a more down to earth guy maybe a quite one

3/17/2009 6:38:31 PM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  

disarticulate
Minneapolis, MN
age: 30


Because trust and vulnerabilty gets in the way of a two way interaction, and trust can't be bought, forced or faked, like most of the rest of the social skills.

3/18/2009 7:40:51 AM Why is so hard to find someone you can trust?  

letusing
Saint Paul, MN
age: 56


Its to bad we have some folks that can not trust themselves! JMO I think i must
Trust myself. befor i can trust anyone else yes its easy to say but can we trust ourselves??I haven't got to that point that people are all evil or not trustworthy.
{I know there are some good folks herether and yon} in this ol world for me,,,letusing 3/18/09 Great posty have some good ol days.



[Edited 3/18/2009 7:42:34 AM PST]