| 3/13/2009 7:40:48 AM |
Why do we cry? Are we feeling sorry for ourselves? |
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3crosses
Alamogordo, NM
age: 54
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This question just came to me as I was thinking back to the day my husband went to his eternal kingdom and yes I was crying. I asked myself why am I doing this? If you knew me and the way I am, you would never believe that I cried over anything. (Except my children and g-children) I don't like to cry but its a sense of relief for me. But do we cry for them or do we cry for us? I believe we cry for us. When they have gone to heaven, there is no pain or sorrow for them and if by chance, they go the other direction, they are just gonna be totally p!$$ed off.
I also believe I am feeling sorry for myself when I cry. To have back the comfortable feeling I had when I was with him. I will never have that again with him. So yes I feel sorry for myself. So as I bid you all adu, I will go and cry, fell sorry for myself until I get the sense of relief and begin another day.
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| 3/13/2009 8:17:32 AM |
Why do we cry? Are we feeling sorry for ourselves? |
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pink9
Kendall Park, NJ
age: 46
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Hello, I feel your pain, and don't forget there are stages we have to go thru in the grieving process, guilt, fear, meloncholy,anger...it is perfectly appropriate for you to cry. Not only for you, but maybe you are still missing him, when we say goodbye to someone, at an airport, kids going off on their first date etc., we tear-up, not only for ourselves, but so many memories pass thru our mind in those fleeting moments...women are emotional creatures, but we are also very strong. If crying relieves your stress, then have at it...hang in there, it may not seem like it now, but you will cry less oneday, just try and keep busy, go for a walk, 10 minutes one day, 20 mins. the next, fresh air does really do you good. OK, take care, and no guilt...Judy
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| 3/18/2009 12:39:42 PM |
Why do we cry? Are we feeling sorry for ourselves? |
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lakc
Batam
Indonesia
age: 50
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I cried a lot whenever Clyde was in the hospital. I cried because he was in pain and there was nothing I could do to help him except be there and make sure he was cared for.  On the day he died, I cried very little; I was relieved he was finally at peace and I felt I needed to be strong for my sons and grand-daughter.
In the last two months, I've cried more for myself. Allowing the emotions to come pouring out, I finally realize that I can't hold it in any longer.  It's a good thing, this cleansing of my heart, my soul and my head.
Take care all!
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| 3/18/2009 3:09:41 PM |
Why do we cry? Are we feeling sorry for ourselves? |
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ivysmom1
Daytona Beach, FL
age: 64
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No I don't think we're feeling sorry for ourselves. I did all my crying when Gary was in the hospital I cried every day when I left the hospital calling my kids telling them an update. But the day he died he was at home and I went home to check on him and found him dead. I couldn't cry then nor at the funeral I was holding everyone else up. But 3 months later it broke and i cried for three days. Now I get moody and I will cry thinking about what he told me the last time we had a conversation and remembering what his wishes were.
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| 3/18/2009 9:40:56 PM |
Why do we cry? Are we feeling sorry for ourselves? |
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primitivepete
Batam
Indonesia
age: 55
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I cried only twice prior to my wife’s death. The day she was told that she had cancer, after I had left her in the Hospital, and once with her, the day the Oncologist callously said she had a 50/50 chance to be here in 2 years. She was on the loosing side of the 50/50 proposition. She asked me several times during the ensuing months, why I did not cry, I told her there would be plenty of time to cry but right now we had to focus on living today and make toe most of the time we had together.
At the moment she died in my arms, I started to cry, quite uncontrollably. I barley remember the funeral and still have a vague idea of what transpired in the days following her death. It lasted for 2 months, not constantly but a lot of my time was consumed with expressing my grief. In retrospect, It was cleansing and I needed to get it out. I will always cry for what I have lost but as time as moves forward, so have I. I no longer hold back the tears, friends call and we cry together when we talk about the good times. It is not self pity, it is dealing with our loss in the most positive and direct way possible. I will provide the tissue. PP
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| 3/19/2009 2:42:55 PM |
Why do we cry? Are we feeling sorry for ourselves? |
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sabba1955
Colby, WI
age: 55
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I agree with Pete that it helps cleanse us somehow. I felt the relief just as LAKC did. I had a conversation with my son a few weeks after her funeral; that I questioned my feelings for her since I was not mourning/grieving as I thought I should. I think it was around her birthdate; I was going through some files and reading emails that had been sent to her etc and that was the first time the deep sorrow and floodgates opened. It really surprised me! It took about another year for me to come out of my shell and is still a work in progress.
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| 3/19/2009 2:53:44 PM |
Why do we cry? Are we feeling sorry for ourselves? |
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edgeofsandias
Placitas, NM
age: 42
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While he was dieing, and for a while afterwards I was crying for him. For his loss of functioning and his life. After about a year after his death, I noticed I was crying for my loss. Now, at almost 2 years, I cry when I think I'm forgetting things about him. Like how it felt when he held me, or kissed me. It's like I'm afraid to let go of the hurt.
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| 3/19/2009 2:55:00 PM |
Why do we cry? Are we feeling sorry for ourselves? |
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dixxie
Hutchinson, MN
age: 62
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I cried for 2 years and now it time for me to go on liveing and i no he would what me to it has been 3 year sence he has been gone But i think it is time to stop crying.
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| 3/20/2009 7:16:29 AM |
Why do we cry? Are we feeling sorry for ourselves? |
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edgeofsandias
Placitas, NM
age: 42
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When we cry we aren't "feeling sorry for ourselves" we're grieving. It's ok.
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| 3/20/2009 2:16:47 PM |
Why do we cry? Are we feeling sorry for ourselves? |
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mareluna
Newport News, VA
age: 49
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I cried as Dan was taking his final breath. I did not cry at the funeral. I think in the beginning I was numb. But about 3 months later the tears started. I was angry and I started to cry. I cried every day whenever I remembered him in a good memory.But about 3 weeks ago i have come to accept that he's not coming back. I think I cry because I "miss "US". Now it's just "ME". But I still think in the "We".
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| 3/20/2009 8:12:04 PM |
Why do we cry? Are we feeling sorry for ourselves? |
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austin64
Haughton, LA
age: 46
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"Crying in the Sunlight"
by Thomas M. Burgess
Crying in the sunlight - something that's not suppose to be, something that you should only experience in the darkest of times,
That's when you should find it hardest to see.
Living hour to hour the feeling of control has all but vanished
Trust being one of the hardest lessons to deal with.
There is a fear of falling, all the way to the bottom, that's where one could end up.
The idea of no one there to catch you as you fall, it becomes much too much to bear. Still against all odds you let go of it all.
Falling in the sunlight allows you to see your own shadow throughout the flight.
A free fall that seems to defy all the rules that have been set before you
How could I be crying in the sunlight? 
[Edited 3/20/2009 8:13:16 PM ]
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| 3/21/2009 7:45:43 AM |
Why do we cry? Are we feeling sorry for ourselves? |
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toastylady
Hartselle, AL
age: 62
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It has been almost a year and half since my husband died and I still cry. In fact, I had a cry this morning and now I feel better. Sometimes those tears are cleansing, so it is nothing wrong with crying. I was remembering some of the things we always did every spring and although they are good memories, they do brings tears.
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| 3/25/2009 5:13:11 AM |
Why do we cry? Are we feeling sorry for ourselves? |
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aprilviolet
New Milford, CT
age: 61
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It has been over 8 years since my husband passed away and I still cry from missing him occassionally. Recently I heard a song I had never heard before and before it was over I was bawling. It just seemed to fit my situation. I can't remember what the song was now.
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| 3/25/2009 9:52:34 AM |
Why do we cry? Are we feeling sorry for ourselves? |
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cali1234
Exeter, CA
age: 62
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My husband died a year ago tomorrow, not looking forward to the day, has been in the back of my mind for a couple of weeks now.........
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| 3/25/2009 1:06:07 PM |
Why do we cry? Are we feeling sorry for ourselves? |
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mareluna
Newport News, VA
age: 49
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My husband died a year ago tomorrow, not looking forward to the day, has been in the back of my mind for a couple of weeks now.........
I'm sorry for your loss, Dan's one year will be April 7. I think I will release balloons at his grave.
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| 3/25/2009 4:30:19 PM |
Why do we cry? Are we feeling sorry for ourselves? |
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shesgone
Lee, ME
age: 56
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It's difficult to say. I cry even though I'm certain that she's in heaven now and I'll be reunited with her there. I know that when I grieve it's certainly not for her. She's in a far better place, free from pain and suffering. Instead I am grieving for myself. I've suffered a great loss. Half of me has been ripped away, literally! I really don't know the difference between grieving and feeling sorry for oneself. I think that the emotions are either quite similar or identical. Remember, half of what we were is gone! Isn't that reason enough?
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| 3/25/2009 4:51:19 PM |
Why do we cry? Are we feeling sorry for ourselves? |
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mareluna
Newport News, VA
age: 49
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I think you are right. Our loved ones are out of pain and in a better place. We cry because of our loss. We miss our other half and our other life when they were with us and we were happy. I hope that one day we will feel that joy and completeness again.
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| 3/26/2009 1:05:26 AM |
Why do we cry? Are we feeling sorry for ourselves? |
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soosie
Newport, KY
age: 60
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For me the crying will never end. I cried when we found out my husband had lung cancer and will never forget the song on the radio the weekend we found out. It was HOW WILL I LIVE WITHOUT YOU BY TRISHA YEARWOOD. That was two weeks before thanksgiving of 2003 and I still cry today. The week he was in the hospital I was totally numb. I cried at his funeral and still cry when I think of the little things we did together and all the memories I have of him including his picture and other things that I will never part with until we are both in the ground together. Crying does help and it is the greiving process that makes me cry. It will be six years in October this year, but it seems like yesterday. Don't be ashamed to cry because as far as I am concerned that greiving process will never end for me and if I do meet another man, they will never fill my husbands shoes. LOVE YOU BABY AND I ALWAYS WILL.      SEE YOU IN HEAVEN BABY XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
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