Advice needed please

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5/5/2009 4:50:03 AM	Advice needed please
rachfaye Locust Grove, VA age: 21	Ok so I meet this guy on here, and we hung out a few times. I thought it was possibly going somewhere, than I was told by his friend, that I don't stand a chance because I am to nice. And I haven't talked to guy since then. Is it really possible to be "to nice"?
5/5/2009 6:36:10 AM	Advice needed please
hapenindude Burke, VA age: 47	Hi Rach Sorry about your dilemna. I'm certainly not the "Love Doctor", but since you heard this secondhand (from your friend's friend) it might be good to approach your friend directly and ask him what he thinks. I'd say contact the guy and bring some closure (or perhaps it was a misunderstanding and doesn't need closure). Somewhat related, I caught an article on MSN that had 5 tips for ladies concerning contacting men. One of the tips suggested that the lady not contact the man because it spoils the "thrill of the chase" for the man. Personally, I think that's bull. It's 2009 and if a lady that I'm considering getting to know better because there's a chance that she may be "the one" (I don't care how early in the relationship), then yeah I want her to contact me and discuss anything that's on her mind. Is it possible to be "too nice"? That's tough to answer. I'm sure there are many men out there who don't care if their perspective mate is nice (i.e. not a required characteristic). On the other hand, there are many men who do, including me. Certainly nobody should allow themselves to be walked on, but nice people tend to thrive on doing nice things for others, which makes them happy. Does happiness equal success? You betchya! Does happiness equal lasting relationships? You betchya! Nice=Happy=Happily married or happy in romantic relationships. So don't let anyone walk on you, but conversely don't try to turn yourself into that cruel person just to get your man because chances are, if you do "get" him but you are truly a nice person deep down, you won't wind up happy with that type of man down the road. Hooah?
5/5/2009 8:02:10 AM	Advice needed please
msgolds Falls Church, VA age: 20	Well I think being "too nice" and being "compatible" are two separate issues. I think one can be "too nice" if she constantly lets people walk all over her and never stands up for herself. However, I don't think that's the issue here. I think the issue is more along the lines that he does not feel your personalities mesh well. For example, I am a very sarcastic person. I dated a girl who was quite possibly one of the sweetest girls I have ever met... and as such she has a really hard time picking up on sarcasm. As much as I wanted things to work, I needed a girl who was able to verbally spar with me. This seems to be a similar scenario. It is sort of like if you tried to take two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that don't go together and try and force them to. No matter how much you want the pieces to fit, they never truly will.
5/5/2009 9:47:06 AM	Advice needed please
califgirl1 Martinsville, VA age: 63	Unless you talk to him, you won't know what he thinks..
5/5/2009 5:28:56 PM	Advice needed please
hyperm1k3 Midlothian, VA age: 23	no always stay really nice. i feel the same way as well. im a very caring and kind loving person. and sometime i feel the same wh=ay. but you know what? im not going to change for anyone. you know what i mean? so stay the way you are never change for someone unless you feel the need to.
5/5/2009 6:42:45 PM	Advice needed please
in4thehaul Chesterfield, VA age: 27	I think I would back up most people here, I feel like im too nice sometimes and it lets people get what they want most of the time and thenhave no use for me.... so being to nice can be a bad thing but at the same time it's not a bad thing
5/5/2009 8:44:09 PM	Advice needed please
uvaaka Richmond, VA age: 20	I dont think you can be too nice, You are who you are and if you and him go far in life as lovers, he will not see it as a hampering thing, if he really is interested and loves you he will cast away all that he dont like about your personality, love is a duality and a strange thing, just give it time and dont be worried about what his friends say, Things can work it just takes time, dont rush things and know each others limits, communication is very important, and i never heard of being to nice, if there is such a thing then i am too nice lol. Kindness has many ways to shine in a world full of dark, dont fret lass im sure you and him will be fine, just give it some time ^.^ P.S. Dont mind my grammar or spelling, i suck totally at this typing and spelling crap -.-
5/5/2009 8:46:57 PM	Advice needed please
uvaaka Richmond, VA age: 20	Quote from in4thehaul: I think I would back up most people here, I feel like im too nice sometimes and it lets people get what they want most of the time and thenhave no use for me.... so being to nice can be a bad thing but at the same time it's not a bad thing People who use your kindness then leave you are worthless and have no moral for humility ^.^ and r just total jackoffs, i know your pain, i feel i am too kind also, and im no stranger to being used :/ and im too kind to ever seek revenge, just mend the heart that was torn apart and heal with time, then one day find that one who is truly right who wont abuse your kindess or love or your trust, and at that REAL freinds dont use each other. Being nice is only a bad thing wene its used with bad people. i agree with you.
5/6/2009 9:57:20 AM	Advice needed please
flydudevic Richmond, VA age: 26	no no I like when a girl is real nice that is a good quality to me
5/6/2009 9:22:39 PM	Advice needed please
slip_kid Chesterfield, VA age: 45	Depends on what he meant by "too nice." I've heard that phrase used for girls who don't give in quickly to lust. If that's what he meant, I'd say forget about him and keep searching! If not, I'm wondering if maybe your friend's friend wasn't trying to break you up? Seems kind of funny that you haven't heard from your friend since this meeting... ya know?
5/8/2009 9:20:07 AM	Advice needed please
rachelfaye Locust Grove, VA age: 21	Hey guys. Im the one that posted the original message, just a different screen name. Anyways the jerk I was talking about, turn out to be engaged. Wow, I must truely pick some losers. Anyways thanks for the advice. I guess I will just have to quit being so nice.
5/8/2009 10:24:21 AM	Advice needed please
cerenedra Roanoke, VA age: 55	Quote from rachelfaye: Hey guys. Im the one that posted the original message, just a different screen name. Anyways the jerk I was talking about, turn out to be engaged. Wow, I must truely pick some losers. Anyways thanks for the advice. I guess I will just have to quit being so nice. Count yourself fortunate to have found out and pity the poor person he's engaged to.
5/8/2009 11:02:43 AM	Advice needed please
rachelfaye Locust Grove, VA age: 21	Thanks cerenedra... I needed that smile.
5/8/2009 7:36:49 PM	Advice needed please
msgolds Falls Church, VA age: 20	Wow... what a scumbag.
5/8/2009 9:00:17 PM	Advice needed please
slip_kid Chesterfield, VA age: 45	Quote from cerenedra: Count yourself fortunate to have found out and pity the poor person he's engaged to. Yeah... I agree with that totally! If I were you, I'd probably try to contact his fiancee to tell her what she's getting into, but you're probably just better off to drop it. Anyway, sorry to hear that things didn't work out for you. You deserved better than that!