| 5/12/2009 5:40:14 PM |
A question for the guys? |
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blssd2be
Oklahoma City, OK
age: 31
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I am a single mom of two boys. Both by the same father, and we are doing really well on our own. We just moved into a new place with enough room for all; plenty of fenced yard for them to play in!
Their father is great with them, when he can manage to "find" the time to see them. I realize that he has to work, so do I and I manage quite well.
Here's the problem and the question:
Whenever he comes to "see" our boys, he always, and I mean ALWAYS!, makes advances toward me, as if he thinks I'm going to be his booty call, now that he's gone. The worst of it is, he is now married, and is still trying to get into bed with me! Any one want to give me an idea here? Why is he so insistent on ignoring my steadfast refusal to accept any invitation for a sexual relationship????
 
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| 5/12/2009 6:55:30 PM |
A question for the guys? |
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nfl_packers1
Monmouth, IL
age: 31
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Sounds like to me he wants both sides of the fence. I'd be telling his new wife. I always tried to fore warn other females if I know that they are talking to an ex of mine on what to expect, to try and save them from a heartache, and I get called jelous.
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| 5/12/2009 10:13:09 PM |
A question for the guys? |
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hockeydad1974
Scottsdale, AZ
age: 36
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Wow - sounds like the guy has issues. Don't allow him to come over to see them and have any interaction with you.  You've got to cut off the opportunity for him to make these advances - chances are that even though you're not accepting the advances, you're still not denying him the opportunity to make them, so he may still think that he's got a shot at it.  I know it's somewhat neanderthal type thinking, but guys can become so immune to rejection that some can think that this is just part of a game of some type. Don't participate in it. He can play with the kids at his house and come pick them up with minimal contact with you and only when the kids are right there.
Really, just remove yourself from whatever game he's playing - shut it down. 
And as a side note, please don't go the route of what "packers" suggested, for a few reasons - two of which are that his ex would likely just look at you as being bitter and pay no heed and another being that the relationship between your ex and whoever he is married to currently is their business...
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| 5/12/2009 10:34:55 PM |
A question for the guys? |
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notbrl
Long Beach, CA
age: 54
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get a big a** dog like a Shepherd or Rottie who doesn't like men.
lets see the ex try to get cozy when Spikes upper lip is drawn back with fangs showing.
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| 5/12/2009 10:38:15 PM |
A question for the guys? |
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hockeydad1974
Scottsdale, AZ
age: 36
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get a big a** dog like a Shepherd or Rottie who doesn't like men.
lets see the ex try to get cozy when Spikes upper lip is drawn back with fangs showing.
Yeah - your way's easier. I like it. 
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| 5/12/2009 10:59:43 PM |
A question for the guys? |
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twt42
Garfield, NJ
age: 43
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who ended the relationship maybe he still has felings for you
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| 5/13/2009 1:13:03 PM |
A question for the guys? |
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d_voted
Winnipeg, MB
age: 57
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Dear lady,
You have missed the silver lining on that cloud. He is married - hitting on you - and you aren't his wife.
Now that is what I call a silver lining.
Make an audio tape or video tape of him when he comes over and send him a copy. Advise him that if it happens again you will be sending a copy to his present wife.
It sounds creepy but to tape him unawares but I'm sure he wouldn't be behaving that way if his wife were present.
A man should not have to be ashamed of what he does or says. If he is then he should stop.
Keep groovin' and I hope you find a man of integrity for your sake and the sake of the boys. A pig cannot teach a thoroughbred to race.
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| 5/26/2009 3:47:38 AM |
A question for the guys? |
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serenityfrank
Toms River, NJ
age: 52
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i had the same thing in reverse,,for years had to meet in a public place,,
hhhmm taping her wouldnt have been a bad idea,as she was telling all the reverse was true
when she was the one hitting on me-constantly(even told the judge the same lie)
it would have been nice to be able to-GO TO THE VIDEO TAPE!
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| 5/26/2009 2:11:06 PM |
A question for the guys? |
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lefty247
Swartz Creek, MI
age: 63
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I'd be concerned for the example he is imprinting on your 2 young sons. He seems to be lacking in respect for you & his present wife. Such behavior must be stopped immediately. I'd inform him if it doesn't, you will be left with no choice but to inform his wife & child protective services. And visitation may have to be curtailed or supervised if he doesn't cease & desist right now.
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| 5/27/2009 3:32:39 AM |
A question for the guys? |
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kdaffern72
El Reno, OK
age: 38
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good advice from lefty, but a bit risky too. Anytime you threaten someone with Child Services you better be ready to handle their reaction. I suggest meeting in a public place. Most police stations will allow you to use their office to pick up and drop off your kids. You could use the excuse that you have business to take care of there and that is where he will have to meet you to pick up the kids. Just don't tell him what business it is you are taking care of. McDonald's is also good....somewhere public and where the kids really wouldn't be paying attention to him and how he is treating you. He is a cheater apparently and you don't want your boys to think that is an alright way to be...so stop it now and don't let them see it happen.
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| 5/27/2009 5:12:08 PM |
A question for the guys? |
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snowmatt37
Butler, PA
age: 27
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to me it sounds like he is a creep and only wants sex and he dont care where he gets it im a single father of 2 and their mother keeps trying to sleep with me and she is now married i just came right out and told her that i wasnt interested and if she kept it up then other arangments would be made to pick the kids up instead of us seeing each other thats the best i can tell you
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| 5/27/2009 8:25:30 PM |
A question for the guys? |
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goingincircles
Willow Springs, MO
age: 47
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Seems  to me he doesnt know the differenc from being a prick or a parent. If ytour really not interested, put his but down the road untl he determines which is which
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| 5/27/2009 8:36:25 PM |
A question for the guys? |
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lgreene560
Kendallville, IN
age: 37
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you made the move stick with it move on i am a singal father with some what in the same problem if u need to talk email me at lgreene@[blocked]
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| 5/28/2009 1:47:19 AM |
A question for the guys? |
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oldeschoolcharm
Monroe, WA
age: 49
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Dear lady,
You have missed the silver lining on that cloud. He is married - hitting on you - and you aren't his wife.
Now that is what I call a silver lining.
Make an audio tape or video tape of him when he comes over and send him a copy. Advise him that if it happens again you will be sending a copy to his present wife.
It sounds creepy but to tape him unawares but I'm sure he wouldn't be behaving that way if his wife were present.
A man should not have to be ashamed of what he does or says. If he is then he should stop.
Keep groovin' and I hope you find a man of integrity for your sake and the sake of the boys. A pig cannot teach a thoroughbred to race.
In WA, making such a recording would be a felony.
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| 5/28/2009 5:50:52 AM |
A question for the guys? |
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joevil2025
San Antonio, TX
age: 26
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this is going to sound nauty, but... you ready
anyone looking? 
in disguise?
ok.... tattle. If he dosen't stop it tell on him, to his wife, she wont beleive you at first of course, no new mate never does, especially if its the x telling it, but when he does end up cheating on her and she catches him shell have allot of respect for you, and will repeat the process with his next
this is from expreince with the sexes differented, luckily she's not the lady i ahd my cihld with, but when she got with me i had her x warning me about how she was...loose with her relationships and kept hitting on him still, i didn't beleive him but knowing he confronted me she stopped hitting on him, and it was fine, untill she cheated on me and moved on, and then i warned her next bf, who didn't beleive me, untill she cheated on him and moved on, now where friends, not close, but friends, well i dont think the cycle went on from there, from what i heard she married some x convent and got impregnated buy him, lol, wouldn't cheat on that kinda guy if i where here
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| 5/30/2009 2:34:36 PM |
A question for the guys? |
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eddiecallahan
Minneapolis, MN
age: 28
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Its the same thing that almost always happens, he wants what he can no longer have, regardless of the fact that he had once had it. I'd do what the other guy said and just tape him, kinda freakish but it'll work. Thier his kids so you can't cut him off, you'd have to go through a bunch of court bs to do it and chances are you'd lose unless you have something solid going for you. So tape the guy, show him the tape and if he has any intelligence, he'll get himself in check.
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| 6/1/2009 7:18:39 PM |
A question for the guys? |
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going4broke08
Cape Coral, FL
age: 35
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You can also have a friend over or a family member to bear witness to his behavior to you. If it continues and you get along with the new wife then suggest that he has to bring her with him when he visits. I agree involving CPS will be like opening up a can of worms that's not what you want to do. Good Luck and Kudos for doing well it is a great feeling isn't it!!! 
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| 6/2/2009 6:50:16 AM |
A question for the guys? |
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fun4life42
Plattsmouth, NE
age: 43
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Ok guys here's the delimia, plz explain. You find someone you click with. You start chating, then emailing, then you start calling and talking oever the phone after a couple of months. If your the one who intiated communication and wanting to meet, then why on earth after us woman agree to meet, you leave us hanging? No emailing, on phone calls, no nothing anymore?
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| 6/2/2009 6:56:35 AM |
A question for the guys? |
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fun4life42
Plattsmouth, NE
age: 43
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I'd go one step further. Not only tape him, but let him think that's ok with you then tie him up and then tape him. See what he thinks about you showing his new woman then? I know sounds a little off but if he wont leave you alone then you got do what you gotta do. He'll be saying
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| 6/4/2009 2:17:35 AM |
A question for the guys? |
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thatfatguy
Belleville, MI
age: 31
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have you ever gave in?
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| 6/4/2009 3:04:33 AM |
A question for the guys? |
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serenityfrank
Toms River, NJ
age: 52
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cake and eat it too syndrome,,it will only get worse unless you set it straight ,good luck
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| 6/6/2009 6:36:48 AM |
A question for the guys? |
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thatfatguy
Belleville, MI
age: 31
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have you ever gave in?
If you have, this would explain alot.
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| 6/6/2009 10:20:05 AM |
A question for the guys? |
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rasis42now
Zephyrhills, FL
age: 43
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he feels he still should be able to be with you because, in his mind "and olny in his mind"he still takes care of you and your sons, with what ever he pays in child support ect... so because he doing what the dad thing and pay he is still in your life.
To fix it if i were you and didn't welcome his come on, explain to him for any thing like that could happen you would have to ask the new wife to make sure it ok with her. also get a mini tape recorder and tape him, and when you tell him you have to ask, let him here his own words and he should stop if he won't then follow through by allowing the new wife to hear what your having to put up with.
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| 6/6/2009 7:34:28 PM |
A question for the guys? |
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slowpoke31
Springfield, OR
age: 40 online now!
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why did u get divorced in the first place? Couldn't get along? Infidelity? If he wants you so bad why is he gone?
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| 6/7/2009 6:02:20 PM |
A question for the guys? |
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sgtusmcia
Mission Viejo, CA
age: 40
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you've gotten a lot of advice here but the two things that are paramount is the example he's setting for your kids and the cycle that will continue until stopped the things you're being told about his new wife are true so (and this isn't easy) find a legal way to get her to catch him red handed and witness you saying no then you can't be "at fault" even though you already aren't the truth is no matter what you do it will have risk the ? is do you really want and what are you willing to legally (important because you don't want to risk your parental rights and status) do about it look into the law where your at and do a little research to find the best options and pick the one that best fits your needs and those of your children.............
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| 6/12/2009 9:04:02 PM |
A question for the guys? |
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rasis42now
Zephyrhills, FL
age: 43
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next time he comes on to you tell him your going to ask his new wife if it's ok .if still dosen't stop call her and ask maybe he'll find out from her if it's ok just because he dose what a dad is susposed to don't give him and rights to you, you should stand up and tell him stop before you let it be knowen
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| 6/13/2009 12:23:13 AM |
A question for the guys? |
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monkeylovin
Los Angeles, CA
age: 35
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[ ]
Answer to ur ?
Is he's a man
Case closed
Thank you thank you
Gratuity
Can be sent to
PO box monkey lovin
1313 sur avenue
Gangsta loc CA
Home of brave the land of the free
&I'm out 
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| 6/25/2009 7:19:27 PM |
A question for the guys? |
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tomlat09
Lafayette, IN
age: 30
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If he wants to play games play games with him lead him on then push him away sooner or later he will give up but you have to be strong and not give in my ex did the same thing how ever it wasnt the healthest divorce but it all worked out 
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| 7/9/2009 5:17:41 AM |
A question for the guys? |
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southernman5
Cape Coral, FL
age: 45
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I think you are the lucky one!! Thank God that you are not the wife and someone else is the attempted "booty call"...
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| 7/9/2009 7:20:36 AM |
A question for the guys? |
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countrycharmer
Litchfield, OH
age: 45
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He is playing the law of averages that you may be weak and give in someday since nothing is life is 100% (a stat's thing).
Funny, I wonder what his reaction would be if you were in a developed relationship with a guy?
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| 7/9/2009 2:24:33 PM |
A question for the guys? |
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asfarasiam
Potterville, MI
age: 43
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Why in the hell would anyone call CPS because their ex was propositioning her? That doesn't endanger the kids! Unfortunately you don't have a claim other than it is unpleasant.
You could file for a R.O. baised on sexual harassment, that will be unpleasant. Your best bet is to befriend his new wife and try to "hang out together" as a group... kids and all, invite them both to birthday parties and other family functions.
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| 7/10/2009 8:52:43 AM |
A question for the guys? |
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armydogs4
Murfreesboro, TN
age: 46
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some dont get it my ex wife is the same way
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| 7/10/2009 1:01:31 PM |
A question for the guys? |
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futura63
Davenport, IA
age: 48
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maybe his new wife should know....i cant stand cheaters.....i didnt like it when it happened to me and i would never do it to someone else....jeff
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| 7/12/2009 2:24:46 PM |
A question for the guys? |
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michaelkeener32
Beaumont, TX
age: 33
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Its the rejection that makes him so prisistant,what to do? give him a for real NO!!not interested ahole.If that dosn't work call his fing wife.Your wellcome
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