| 7/25/2009 7:18:53 AM |
Thoughts on Gossip and Forgiveness |
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gswtex
South Jordan, UT
age: 55
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“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” Eleanor Roosevelt
The Internet and especially forums such as this lend themselves to gossip and unsubstantiated rumor. So many times, words are tossed about, without the consequences being considered. People are hurt, reputations shattered, relationships ruined, and friends lost. Personal agendas are forwarded on the back of statements and at times, gang mentality sets in. When the dust settles, the devastation becomes apparent. One has to ask, “was it really all worth it”.
“I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one.” Henry Ward Beecher
Unfortunately, no one is perfect. Mistakes are made, some forgive, and some do not. But taking an event and putting a particular spin or ugliness to it is as big of a transgression as the original mistake. Forgiveness is free and very uplifting, not only to the forgiven, but also to the forgiver. It should be considered a gift without attachments or footnotes.
I have been as big a violator of these principles as anyone has. These thoughts are cast at no one in particular, but notes from someone who has been on both sides of the fence. I look forward to your comments, and only ask that you use this thread as it is intended, a look at ourselves and not others.
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| 7/25/2009 7:33:21 AM |
Thoughts on Gossip and Forgiveness |
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clcorndog
American Fork, UT
age: 51
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Well spoken, and point taken Lovely Man!
Friends should be for life!
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| 7/25/2009 7:56:00 AM |
Thoughts on Gossip and Forgiveness |
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utahgal1
Ogden, UT
age: 51
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So true! I hate gossips!
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| 7/25/2009 11:36:01 AM |
Thoughts on Gossip and Forgiveness |
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corie_d1
Kaysville, UT
age: 49
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So folks, there is forgiveness, and there is enabling. When you have adults who have NO regard for others, their feelings, values, privacy, space..... whatever and show such blatant disprespect for people, adult and child alike do you really want to contribute to enabling them? When is enough enough?
If an adult has not decided that others matter too, does it really serve them to ignore their bad behavior and allow them to cause pain to others?
Apathy towards a bad situation is often considered acceptance.......... and there are some things I am NOT willing to just accept, and if we allow it, we are just as guilty of the disrespect as they are.
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| 7/25/2009 1:49:09 PM |
Thoughts on Gossip and Forgiveness |
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joy1dr
Las Vegas, NV
age: 53
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So folks, there is forgiveness, and there is enabling. When you have adults who have NO regard for others, their feelings, values, privacy, space..... whatever and show such blatant disprespect for people, adult and child alike do you really want to contribute to enabling them? When is enough enough?
If an adult has not decided that others matter too, does it really serve them to ignore their bad behavior and allow them to cause pain to others?
Apathy towards a bad situation is often considered acceptance.......... and there are some things I am NOT willing to just accept, and if we allow it, we are just as guilty of the disrespect as they are.
Corie you have said exactly what I feel...thanks, I couldn't put it into words as well as you did.
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| 7/25/2009 7:29:18 PM |
Thoughts on Gossip and Forgiveness |
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gypsiegirly
Provo, UT
age: 44
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So folks, there is forgiveness, and there is enabling. When you have adults who have NO regard for others, their feelings, values, privacy, space..... whatever and show such blatant disprespect for people, adult and child alike do you really want to contribute to enabling them? When is enough enough?
If an adult has not decided that others matter too, does it really serve them to ignore their bad behavior and allow them to cause pain to others?
Apathy towards a bad situation is often considered acceptance.......... and there are some things I am NOT willing to just accept, and if we allow it, we are just as guilty of the disrespect as they are.
Ditto, very well put corie
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| 7/25/2009 7:32:11 PM |
Thoughts on Gossip and Forgiveness |
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ranger2_75
Layton, UT
age: 36
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So folks, there is forgiveness, and there is enabling. When you have adults who have NO regard for others, their feelings, values, privacy, space..... whatever and show such blatant disprespect for people, adult and child alike do you really want to contribute to enabling them? When is enough enough?
If an adult has not decided that others matter too, does it really serve them to ignore their bad behavior and allow them to cause pain to others?
Apathy towards a bad situation is often considered acceptance.......... and there are some things I am NOT willing to just accept, and if we allow it, we are just as guilty of the disrespect as they are.
Geez corie...I told you I was sorry for crawling in your tent and taking advantage of you when you were so vulnerable....I was just hoping you brought the hand cuffs with you.
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| 7/25/2009 9:26:13 PM |
Thoughts on Gossip and Forgiveness |
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corie_d1
Kaysville, UT
age: 49
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Well Geez Ranger,
I suppose my upset came when I realized there had been a HUGE miscommunication and you hadn't brought them either... sad, so sad!
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| 7/25/2009 10:24:40 PM |
Thoughts on Gossip and Forgiveness |
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ranger2_75
Layton, UT
age: 36
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Yeah but thats why i brought the other two guys...to hold you down so you didn't squirm....although you didn't seem to be fighting it very much...
[Edited 7/25/2009 10:24:58 PM ]
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| 7/26/2009 7:23:31 AM |
Thoughts on Gossip and Forgiveness |
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golfergirl2008
Ogden, UT
age: 51
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Coming from someone that is new to the board, I can say that I see both points addressed in this thread.
No, we should not have to endure the disrespectful behavior of people who have no consideration for others. I do think that we need to call people on their behavior when it is not acceptable but doing it in an open forum like this one is pretty lethal. I would be more apt to send them a private email, by phone call, or the best would be face to face.
Being a pretty forgiving person, it has it' positive and it's negative side to it. It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling to forgive people but it also opens me up to get kicked in the teeth a lot too.
To expect gossip to go away is wishful thinking, it just is not going to happen. I try hard to not be a contributer, but we all do it one way or another, sometimes without really realizing we are doing it.
I have only started one thread on this board and it turned into a slam fest within the first two or three replies..I was shocked at how vicious it turned in a big hurry. I just know that I may never start another thread on this board again and I am pretty sure I will hear something negative back from this comment.
This is "my" personal opinion which is what was asked for in the original post which I thought was written beautifully. Hope you all have a great Sunday.... 
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| 7/26/2009 10:00:52 AM |
Thoughts on Gossip and Forgiveness |
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linlou421
Ogden, UT
age: 45
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Actually? Keep gossiping and don't forgive each other. It is my chat crack. I need this drama in my daily life.
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| 7/26/2009 10:13:10 AM |
Thoughts on Gossip and Forgiveness |
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golfergirl2008
Ogden, UT
age: 51
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Actually? Keep gossiping and don't forgive each other. It is my chat crack. I need this drama in my daily life.
Lindalou, you are hilarious 
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| 7/26/2009 10:16:42 AM |
Thoughts on Gossip and Forgiveness |
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s0ulsurfer
Morgan, UT
age: 37
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But it's not really gossip when it's true right? I mean like Tommy's little dilemma. I heard it from the horses mouth so it isn't gossip. I hope those two get together soon! They seemed to have a great time camping. 
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| 7/26/2009 10:18:11 AM |
Thoughts on Gossip and Forgiveness |
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s0ulsurfer
Morgan, UT
age: 37
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Actually? Keep gossiping and don't forgive each other. It is my chat crack. I need this drama in my daily life.
Indeed! Drama can be entertaining at times. Have you ever seen a couple in a bar flat out loudly fight and argue? LOL. It's the funniest thing to watch!
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| 7/26/2009 10:35:07 AM |
Thoughts on Gossip and Forgiveness |
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corie_d1
Kaysville, UT
age: 49
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Forgiveness is a very personal thing and should come at the right time for each person. I won't say that I do when I don't, and that's my business, and is between me, that person, and God.
I am a B*TCH and am proud to be so, though some on here say it like it's a bad thing! LOL
I have come to have certain expectations of people in life. If they say they are my friend, that to me is an action word, not just a word. And when their actions don't display friendship, but disrespect towards me or another friend, I don't just politely swallow anymore.
That old saying about Mean People Suck, Nice People Swallow....... so true to a point. I have swallowed and swallowed, and SWALLOWED! I don't make a loud scene ever, but I don't tolerate being shit on anymore.
And when someone shits, expects me to just take it with a smile on my face, and a song in my heart, Nope, NOPE, NOPE. And then when the reckoning comes, and they are left sitting in the big pile of shit, and realize what they've really done, and rather than make a sincere effort to apologize and make things right, they say....... OOOOPPPPPPPSSS! SORRY, and run away....... That to me is not even worthy of my time, let alone my forgiveness. Clean up the mess you made, right your wrongs, and stand in there for the heat that may come...... then you have earned my forgiveness and I will give it wholeheartedly and we can move on together.
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| 7/26/2009 11:09:58 PM |
Thoughts on Gossip and Forgiveness |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
age: 56
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Corie, remind me not to get on your badside! I think there is a difference between being a b*tch and not being a doormat. I salute people every where, especially women, for not being doormats.
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| 7/26/2009 11:31:25 PM |
Thoughts on Gossip and Forgiveness |
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gypsiegirly
Provo, UT
age: 44
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Coming from someone that is new to the board, I can say that I see both points addressed in this thread.
No, we should not have to endure the disrespectful behavior of people who have no consideration for others. I do think that we need to call people on their behavior when it is not acceptable but doing it in an open forum like this one is pretty lethal. I would be more apt to send them a private email, by phone call, or the best would be face to face.
Being a pretty forgiving person, it has it' positive and it's negative side to it. It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling to forgive people but it also opens me up to get kicked in the teeth a lot too.
To expect gossip to go away is wishful thinking, it just is not going to happen. I try hard to not be a contributer, but we all do it one way or another, sometimes without really realizing we are doing it.
I have only started one thread on this board and it turned into a slam fest within the first two or three replies..I was shocked at how vicious it turned in a big hurry. I just know that I may never start another thread on this board again and I am pretty sure I will hear something negative back from this comment.
This is "my" personal opinion which is what was asked for in the original post which I thought was written beautifully. Hope you all have a great Sunday....
no worries golfergirl I met you at the camp out and you seemed like a nice person, I think some just took your thread the wrong way and that happens a lot when you are on these boards you can write something and then someone reads it and takes it in a completely different context than what you meant. after you have been posting for a while others get to know your personality more and its easier to understand what you mean when you post but I think meeting someone in person makes it even easier to understand someone, we all have different personalities and so react differently to things posted.
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