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8/28/2009 7:37:43 AM abbot and costello  
model67a
Over 1,000 Posts (1,396)
Jasper, IN
age: 62


You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on 'START'............

8/28/2009 8:04:59 AM abbot and costello  

sharsea
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,164)
Gulfport, MS
age: 64


Honestly, my conversations were as bad when I got a computer. Got home and looked all over the screen to see where I was to turn it on and could not find it. Dialed a friend and was told to look below on the big gray box down low. Turned it on and sit and looked at the screen...now what? Had a friend to set up and email account for me so gladly the next day I turned it on and could not find it. Kept typing the name of OutLook Express and it would not show on the green screen...duh, Another free lesson!!!
Then the mouse running all over the place...wanted a hammer to kill that sucker that was too fast and did not want to go where I wanted it to go. Finally won that battle after weeks of practice.
Here it is four years later and still know that I could put my computer knowledge in a thimble. Is it stupid to spend $1500.00 for a computer and add on surround sound to listen to music and send emails??? Then someone decided I needed datehookup so here I am with corns on my fingers and hours of entertaining music going off in my head when I should be in computer classes....But why...I do not need it for anything else.



[Edited 8/28/2009 8:05:59 AM PST]

8/28/2009 8:08:50 AM abbot and costello  

rangerguy3
Over 1,000 Posts (1,443)
Tavernier, FL
age: 71


Frank & Ernest

8/30/2009 11:49:41 AM abbot and costello  

10snut
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (18,581)
Haughton, LA
age: 62




8/30/2009 1:21:07 PM abbot and costello  

iamaperson
Medicine Hat, AB
age: 59




8/30/2009 1:29:49 PM abbot and costello  

side_kick
Over 1,000 Posts (1,685)
San Simon, AZ
age: 68