Third times the Charm?

12/13/2007 8:12:01 PM	Third times the Charm?
haninra Salt Lake City, UT age: 35	I am divorced for the second time now and looking back on all that I have gone through, people and things lost or gained, mistakes, and just plain dumb behavior. There are regrets and good memories from both relationships, and I wonder, did I learn enough to make it work the next time? provided there is a next time, like others who have been divorced one or more times I have collected much of what some refer to as baggage; There are all my 'children', and I do consider them such though the relationship with them can be a little confusing. Then there is the rather extended family that I am considered a part of that would prefer I dont drop out of existance. I cant let the past drag me down, and yet it is hard to not feel as if it is pointless to try again. It is hard to not wonder what exactly is so wrong with me that I could not stay in either of my prior marriages. How about some of you who have had one or more marraiges fall apart for what ever reason? What works for you to get past the negative self image generated by these experiences? Or is that even a problem for you?
12/15/2007 9:30:23 PM	Third times the Charm?
1pinkstar Omaha, NE age: 54	I look at it a different way, have had a few relationships; only married two of the men. Both of them served their purposes. I do not regret either marriage, but the circumstances did not warrant a continuance for either one. There were both good and rotten times. When the rotten outweighed the good, the marriages were over. I try not to focus on what went wrong--does not matter at this point. Thus, I probably have a different outlook than you. No negative image here. My relationships did not work, and trying to put them back in working order did not work either. Maybe some of us are destined to be alone. It really is not that horrible. Is it?
12/16/2007 12:23:47 AM	Third times the Charm?
chopperbabe Selah, WA age: 47 online now!	I like what 1pinkstar says. However, I don't think some are destine to be alone. A few choose that lifestyle for whatever reason.
12/16/2007 12:28:52 AM	Third times the Charm?
anniebrown57 Warrington, PA age: 50 online now!	I look at it f%$^ me once shame on you f%^&5 me twice shame on me Not going for a third
12/16/2007 8:27:29 AM	Third times the Charm?
haninra Salt Lake City, UT age: 35	I appreciate your comments, I wont say being alone is without its benefits, but I would prefer to be with someone. If I were to be pessimistic and think destiny has it in for me, then alone wouldnt be my lot, I lean towards endless punishment through physical and emotional pain caused by the environment and bad relationships. (at this point I usualy just go find something better to do...)
12/16/2007 9:11:08 AM	Third times the Charm?
kgearly1021 Valdosta, GA age: 48	I have been married three times, you know three times, you're out, so now I say I will never say "I do" again,--I will try my best is all you will get out of me.
12/16/2007 3:28:48 PM	Third times the Charm?
lotus3 Venice, FL age: 55	Well I have two strikes in the marriage department, and that is enough for me. Now that does not mean I will not be in a loving relationship. I am willing to risk the emotional pain..But I am not willing to go through the total upheaval of a homelife, familylife and lifestyle, and have to pay a lot of money in order to start over again. Dang if I counted each failed romantic relationship I have had...it is way past the three strike rule...more like a 9 inning game
12/17/2007 7:46:17 PM	Third times the Charm?
haninra Salt Lake City, UT age: 35	Meh, the show does not end until after the curtains are drawn, the crowd has left, and the premisis are cleaned! (ugh, I might actually sound positive here, that is scary!)
12/30/2007 3:55:38 PM	Third times the Charm?
cmt46366 North Judson, IN age: 38	I, too, have had 2 strikes in the marriage department. However, I do believe 3rd time is a charm.......I just have to find the right one. I've been divorced from #2 for about 13 years now and as hard as it is, I haven't given up hope yet!
1/2/2008 10:42:49 PM	Third times the Charm?
hobo4luv2u Foley, MN age: 57	Nope...no such thing....I had my 3rd strike 3 years ago...should have learned that if she has no kids, and she has a good job where she has good benefits and was self sufficient before I met her, why get married? Its based on friendship before you get married, just become friends, live together and be content with that. Ok if its a ring thing then buy a ring, you can still make the vows and say them to each other and tell the wall you do.
1/20/2008 8:33:36 PM	Third times the Charm?
angelica_0053 Grand Junction, CO age: 54	Perpetual Hope....... It's not over until Life is.... the sun still comes up, the moon shines but not every night ... stars are there in the sky .... We take the good with the bad, learn from it, move on, then go on..... Emotional healing ... we all need it at various levels.... The smile doesn't mean everythings okay .. it just means I'm still alive ... I've gotta be willing to be a Friend to gain one and more ... then I have to remember the word Insanity-doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.... SO.. We TRY ... Live and Learn? sometimes .. more reflection on what has gone before, what we want hmmmm the ME generation .. it's not all about ME .. I didn't do it ALL wrong but I haven't made perfect choices....then there's the other person.. they made choices too.... Should I cut myself off form LIFE, other people, never look or try again, never be willing to risk getting hurt again? No, but I may need to take it slow, look before crossing the street longer than I did last time and look for ALL the caution signs.. BEFORE I get in too deep to stay friends with a smile .... It is a personal thing .. Each one of us is a unique individual so we need to look at things from that perspective, take what is said, think on it but in the end it's our life, very very personal... forgive yourself, others as well, then the healing really begins... It never gets easier...that failed relationship, we don't just go on though most of us won't admitt that..We can be there for one another, those of us who are really friends and the ones we have.. they often see things clearer than we do, they just need to NOT say what they THINK we want to hear, honesty helps more than a familar pat on the back and the usual remarks about how great we are and how horrid the other person is... LIFE Happens....
1/21/2008 8:57:33 AM	Third times the Charm?
redddolly Ebensburg, PA age: 61	I love being in a relationship but my choices always seem wrong. I always go for looks and let my heart take over from there. I have been divorced once, the next love cheated on me with everything in a short skirt and the third love I screwed up before it even got started because of my insecurities. If love is ment to be for me, it will be. I leave it in Gods hands, untill then I will read and love all these forums.
1/21/2008 9:40:30 AM	Third times the Charm?
faith32 Bedford, IN age: 48	I married for a third time. It was the best thing I ever did. I married too young the first time..had 2 kids...he liked to get drunk & use me like a punching bag...divorced...married w/in a year...he was worse than the second...divorced that same year. I decided to leave men alone, raised my kids alone. My son & his son thought we needed to get together...I dated my third for 4 years, got married to him when the kids were grown. It was wonderful! I know what love REALLY is. Take your time & take a chance. If I hadn't I would have missed knowing how great it is to be married to the right one. [Edited 1/21/2008 9:41:58 AM]
1/23/2008 4:27:03 AM	Third times the Charm?
stormilove Norman Park, GA age: 46	We all make mistakes but it is what we learn from them that makes the difference. If you keep ending up with the same type of person then maybe you should evaluate what your looking for in a spouse. If they are different mistakes and diffents circumstances then you are learning what you want out of a spouse. We can't be held accountable for the mistakes and learning that they have to do. The key is to find someone who has gone through life and knows what they want. Trust me I would love to have my young sexy 20 yr old body but would I want to go through the mistakes I have made again never. I will keep this 46 yr old body and the badges of life I earned. Stormi

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