| 12/19/2007 9:49:29 AM |
Its Over Why the BS Why Does he Care Now???? |
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texas_belle
Red Rock, TX
age: 37
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Okay, to make a long story as short as possible my marrage of 13 years ended unofficially 3 years ago. We recently went to the required mediation in order to get the final decree. We agreed on everything. I was told by my atty. Its over you can start over now...."The final decree will be filed in january once we receive xyz....
Now all of a sudden he is Hell bent on controlling everything! He never wanted to share the responsibilities of taking the kids to the dr. Went to maybe 2 of my sons football games, I was pulling teeth to get him to do anything with his kids. Now he seems to have put on the perfect father suit. Its all good except he doesn't believe that I am doing the right thing with the care of my son....
He has always been different, he is extremely bright. Difficulties in school etc.
I was advised by my son's doctor to take him to a Phsych. Okay, I did. He put him some medicine after I believe the 3rd visit. The change was almost overnight. He is doing so much better. My ex doesn't see it. He believes my son is drugged out, having reactions to the medicine etc.
WTF? I have done everything in my power to help my son. my X never once offered to help me find an answer or a possible solution.
He is making outrageous statements he can't verify, and it seems that EVERYONE believes him.... He is the one who left, he checked out 3 years ago from all of us...
The past few weeks, I keep the conversations with him to a minimun. What time will the kids be home? he answers, I walk away.... I have no reason to talk to this man.
Anyone experienced anything similar??
How did it turn out?
Thanks for listening, Kim
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| 12/19/2007 10:37:23 PM |
Its Over Why the BS Why Does he Care Now???? |
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madelinelouise
Farmingville, NY
age: 46
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Sometimes I think it is because they don't really want to let go. It's like they can still have some control in our lives. Or maybe it will be final to them and they don't really want that. It will all work in time. Everything takes time and lots of patience.
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| 12/19/2007 10:50:29 PM |
Its Over Why the BS Why Does he Care Now???? |
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chopperbabe
Selah, WA
age: 47 online now!
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Called control. Could be showing the children what a wonderful father he is now so that they will favor on his side. My 1st X does the same thing. Wasn't helpful with our son and now he wants to partake in everything. I figure our son will eventually see him as he is but if he doesn't at least he has a father around ... more than my father ever did. 
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| 12/20/2007 6:08:10 AM |
Its Over Why the BS Why Does he Care Now???? |
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texas_belle
Red Rock, TX
age: 37
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Thank you ladies...
I was beginning to think I was the only one has experienced this...
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| 1/7/2008 11:29:46 AM |
Its Over Why the BS Why Does he Care Now???? |
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truckerjohn2008
White Water, CA
age: 50
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put you pass behine and move on
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| 1/9/2008 2:21:49 PM |
Its Over Why the BS Why Does he Care Now???? |
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lawvixen
Oldsmar, FL
age: 52
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The sooner you put the past behind you, the sooner you can move on...carrying baggage and trying to start a new relationship won't work......
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| 1/9/2008 4:26:44 PM |
Its Over Why the BS Why Does he Care Now???? |
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colomtman
Weston, CO
age: 58
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just shutting the door on the past is a bad solution..the past can teach us..you need to look at the past and yourself..learn what there is in that experience and then take that with you and then move on.. maybe he really belives your wrong.. people change..perhaps he wants to be involved with his son...maybe not you ..but the son.. that may be a good thing...for your son.. not talking not having dialogue..that hurts all of you.. your reason for talking....your son.....just a thought or two...
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| 1/10/2008 8:06:55 AM |
Its Over Why the BS Why Does he Care Now???? |
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fun_guy111
Roselle Park, NJ
age: 36
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I had same thing with my ex. I have the kids now as of 2 days ago. It is not the first time that i have had custody of them. When they live with her she is NEVER home, and they get neglected. Then the judge would get on her, and her issues!! She would still not buck up, and I would end up with kids. Well now as of today she is telling my ex father inlaw that she is going to bring me back to court for kids. He brought up good point, and I think it is kinda the same for you. When they have kids around they might not be good parents. Then when they dont have them there they try to be parent of the year. Well you cant become a instant parent it takes practice. My ex does not know how to be a parent, so when this happends she is misguided. Not really her fault she just has to become willing to learn the right way to be a ex and a parent at same time. I think i made sence. lol John
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| 1/15/2008 12:05:07 PM |
Its Over Why the BS Why Does he Care Now???? |
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texas_belle
Red Rock, TX
age: 37
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John, I think your right...
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| 1/27/2008 7:44:48 AM |
Its Over Why the BS Why Does he Care Now???? |
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easytouch3
Mount Clemens, MI
age: 46
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13 yrs married 3yrs divorced for me yoo Seperation anxiety
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| 1/27/2008 8:03:31 AM |
Its Over Why the BS Why Does he Care Now???? |
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dana1956
New Braunfels, TX
age: 51
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Breakups are always hard to do... isn't that how the song goes?
I am a single parent divorced 2 yrs ago and my son lives with me. I believe my x loves him although I don't agree with all things she has done in the past. You don't state how old your child is but they will see the value of each parent as they grow up. I will not side with either of you but I will say I read with the concern you have taken him to a brain doctor and put him on meds. Now I am not judging anyone or any thing but I think to often that todays society has relegated all issues to drug solutions. The BS as you call it could be from a feeling of failure in both the marraige or the rearing of the child. After my divorce there was much more time to do a self examination and start some self improvement... after a stint of depression about the ordeal. I hope all goes well for you and I hope and pray your son gets off the meds soon.
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| 1/27/2008 4:55:38 PM |
Its Over Why the BS Why Does he Care Now???? |
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smiley5555
Aurora, CO
age: 49
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Hi Kim,
You are not alone. Many dad's once you are not a family unit any longer become disney land dads as well as taking a interest more in the kids where they never were the priority. What gets me is that the kids never seem to had seen it. How does it end? I don't know I'm still going through it
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