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| 2/27/2008 5:22:09 AM |
Band from Wal-Mart |
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mrsmiles4444
Culpeper, VA
age: 51
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BANNED FROM WALMART...........
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO...........
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and
told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least .
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
Regards,
Walmart
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| 2/27/2008 5:24:54 AM |
Band from Wal-Mart |
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wvpenni
Morgantown, WV
age: 55
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This is good Smiles, enjoyed it!
# 23 and the last are my favorites!
[Edited 2/27/2008 5:29:09 AM]
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| 2/27/2008 5:27:23 AM |
Band from Wal-Mart |
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alaskanbiker
Fall River, MA
age: 52
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TOO much smiles my sides are killing me geeeeeezzzzzz
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| 2/27/2008 5:28:27 AM |
Band from Wal-Mart |
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timetogolf
Au Gres, MI
age: 54
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thanks, smiles, now i've had my first saugh of the day......
(by the way, i didn't know they were watching me at wal-mart!)
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| 2/27/2008 5:30:35 AM |
Band from Wal-Mart |
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jhny_777
Rogers, AR
age: 55 online now!
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Killer
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| 2/27/2008 5:31:02 AM |
Band from Wal-Mart |
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goofynurse
Rolla, MO
age: 50 online now!
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Good one Smiles,,, sounds like a good first date for someone......team up and lot's of laughs....
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| 2/27/2008 5:31:08 AM |
Band from Wal-Mart |
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agent07
Greenville, MI
age: 57
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Thanx smiles, good chuckle to start the day !!!
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| 2/27/2008 5:46:29 AM |
Band from Wal-Mart |
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colleen58
Columbia, SC
age: 58
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GREAT way to start the day. I got laughing so hard my mother came in and asked me why. When I read this to her she really cracked up. Made her day too. (really think that it reminded her of something my father would have done, he passed away last Aug.)
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| 2/27/2008 5:55:43 AM |
Band from Wal-Mart |
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huronearth
Mount Pleasant, MI
age: 55 online now!
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So, THAT'S where those condoms came FROM... 
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| 2/27/2008 6:01:34 AM |
Band from Wal-Mart |
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hodag
Little Suamico, WI
age: 54
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Great ideas there Mr. Smiles! I can't wait for my next visit to Walmart! I'm gonna' have FUN!!!
Hodag
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| 2/27/2008 6:02:34 AM |
Band from Wal-Mart |
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tn_tx_lady
Chattanooga, TN
age: 65
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| 2/27/2008 6:25:32 AM |
Band from Wal-Mart |
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sassynclassyme
North Hollywood, CA
age: 60
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That was great!! thanks for the laughs
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| 2/27/2008 6:34:02 AM |
Band from Wal-Mart |
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lnsmecwgrl
Fredonia, TX
age: 72
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Way too funny smiles.
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| 2/27/2008 6:41:06 AM |
Band from Wal-Mart |
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sweetness1954
Hebron, IN
age: 53
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Smiles, sounded like something you would do!!!
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| 2/27/2008 8:25:51 AM |
Band from Wal-Mart |
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lotsafuninpa
Tioga, PA
age: 66
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Had recieved that E-MAIL ABOUT A MONTH AGO--it was so funny--I laughed too much::
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