| 5/8/2008 12:38:52 PM |
I just don't understand men |
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thegoose420
Belgrade, MT
age: 60
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I joined datehookup to hopefully find a nice man for friendship, etc. It seems like everyone that sends a wink or an email which I respond to, 90% I never hear from again. I just feel sad. Is this just some kind of joke meeting place. I know I am a nice person but it seems like no one is interested in anything. Oh well, guess I will just sit here and cry into my coffee (since I don't drink beer)
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| 5/8/2008 3:01:23 PM |
I just don't understand men |
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oldcoyote
Billings, MT
age: 66
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You find that too? I have noticed the same thing, so maybe it isnt just men.
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| 5/8/2008 6:45:39 PM |
I just don't understand men |
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thegoose420
Belgrade, MT
age: 60
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Yeah, I understand - well, just keep trying is all one can do
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| 5/8/2008 7:07:34 PM |
I just don't understand men |
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oldcoyote
Billings, MT
age: 66
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I have been single a long time, and have a great deal of independence, and I am not unhappy with my life, so I guess you might say I am not really actively looking. If the right lady happens along, and there is enough substance there, I would see where it might go.
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| 5/8/2008 9:38:17 PM |
I just don't understand men |
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carolmc5
Missoula, MT
age: 25
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I've had the same problem.
Most guys that are interested are 1000s of miles away and I want someone that I can see, meet, and feel.
Or there's the constant winkers or blank profilers who expect me to do all the messaging eventhough I have nothing to work with. No info on what they want or what they're looking for. I'm not going to put effort into someone who is a complete mystery.
I also have discovered liars who post pictures of themselves from high school (and they've gained hundreds of pounds since) or they post a picture that isn't even them (supermodel ads) or don't post a picture at all. I'm sorry to sound superficial, but I will still dump you if I find out later you're butt ugly or way older.
Then there are the guys who seem nice and want to IM, then right away they want cybersex or to send naughty pics of themselves. 
Others are so unuse to attention from women that they fall head over heels and then they're messaging me ten times a day saying how we're perfect for eachother eventhough they know nothing about me. I even had a guy who after two conversations was set on moving to Montana to live with me so I could help him get a job.  I am NOT looking for a son, I'm looking for a man to be with damnit.
I wish men on this site would take the pursuit of love and happiness a little more seriously.
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| 5/9/2008 6:52:39 AM |
I just don't understand men |
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charmie
Glasgow, MT
age: 61
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carolmc---same thing here. i agree completely.
I get winks from men 30yrs younger than I am. Or too old to do the things I am still active and strong enough to do.
I live in Montana, for Pete's sake-----doesn't anybody here hike, or camp or rides horses---and subscribe to DHU????
AARRRGGHH!
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| 5/9/2008 8:01:53 AM |
I just don't understand men |
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lucky4unme
Billings, MT
age: 53
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It's a two sided fence! Women don't understand men! Men don't understand women! How do you break through the anxiety that comes when you think you've found a potential pal? It's a tough go isn't it?
Making a connection is plenty tough enough when meeting someone face to face!! Emailing is a difficult form of communication, as about 95% of what we learn from communication is from other signals...
My experiences here have been somewhat different. Perhaps my expectations are also different? When I start corresponding with someone it's give and take. As long as the conversations hold my interest, I hang in there. Someone has to initiate ...whether it's the guy or woman. I always assume that I'm in charge of what I do. If I don't want to wait for correspondence then I write! I do know that if people get as busy as I do...then there's always a lull in the emails. If I'm curious... I ask. I've had dates with some terrific men from datehookup and I continue to communicate with them. I'm really not trying to sound "self righteous" here. I have really had some good experiences. So far, I haven't been disappointed. It's all a calculated risk anyway!
Hang in there...I am...and I believe finding a good relationship is worth seeking out!
[Edited 5/9/2008 11:29:57 AM]
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| 5/11/2008 3:00:34 PM |
I just don't understand men |
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santababy
Libby, MT
age: 60
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It's a two sided fence! Women don't understand men! Men don't understand women! How do you break through the anxiety that comes when you think you've found a potential pal? It's a tough go isn't it?
Making a connection is plenty tough enough when meeting someone face to face!! Emailing is a difficult form of communication, as about 95% of what we learn from communication is from other signals...
My experiences here have been somewhat different. Perhaps my expectations are also different? When I start corresponding with someone it's give and take. As long as the conversations hold my interest, I hang in there. Someone has to initiate ...whether it's the guy or woman. I always assume that I'm in charge of what I do. If I don't want to wait for correspondence then I write! I do know that if people get as busy as I do...then there's always a lull in the emails. If I'm curious... I ask. I've had dates with some terrific men from datehookup and I continue to communicate with them. I'm really not trying to sound "self righteous" here. I have really had some good experiences. So far, I haven't been disappointed. It's all a calculated risk anyway!
Hang in there...I am...and I believe finding a good relationship is worth seeking out!
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| 5/11/2008 3:08:19 PM |
I just don't understand men |
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lily4285
Missoula, MT
age: 59
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I would travel to meet and possibly even move but not outside of western mt or north ID, well maybe eastern washinton.
I have no problem with making friends and getting together and seeing how it goes. But it would have to be a gradual process like everything, no spur of the moment moving. But I was hoping to head to warmer areas for part of the year. South for the winter.
Unless of course I got snuggled in with a man for warmth during the winter. lol
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| 5/11/2008 3:31:30 PM |
I just don't understand men |
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santababy
Libby, MT
age: 60
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Lily I agree. I've found that there hasn't been a lot of people who say much about distance, or being set in their ways. Somebody has to give up something, but how much?
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| 5/11/2008 3:45:40 PM |
I just don't understand men |
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lily4285
Missoula, MT
age: 59
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<<<<<<,Somebody has to give up something, but how much?>>>>>>>>>..
Well in the last few years have had to get rid of most everything and got it down to a small house full and money to live on so I don't see as I would be giving up much. Money in the bank will take you where ever you want to go but too many possessions just hold you back physically and spiritually.
When I was younger all my stuff fit in my car and I am trying to get back to as close to that as I can.
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| 5/11/2008 6:55:20 PM |
I just don't understand men |
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lucky4unme
Billings, MT
age: 53
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Santa, I agree with you. NOBODY talks about what we are willing to give! That's a huge part of being in a relationship isn't it? The real truth is we all have fears...some of us are widowed, some are divorced and some have never been married...and we have scars from life experiences that may make us a bit more cautious than we were when we were 20 somethings.. The more mature we get...the harder is seems to move out of routine. We all have anxiety... but someone has to make the first move toward the other person, don't ya think?  I don't mean physically move, just being mutually responsible for staying in touch with the other person.
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| 5/13/2008 11:38:00 AM |
I just don't understand men |
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lasttime4me
Townsend, MT
age: 63 online now!
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Lily, you are right, sometimes we collect more things than we really need. But when you are alone you tend to buy thing just for comfort sometimes. I for one could live in cardboard box if I were with the right person, as long as I could see a mountain in the background. I agree with goose though, you spend so much time emailing someone and never here from them again,I guess that is one of the hazzards of being online, there are so many out there ,it gets confusing sometimes.
[Edited 5/13/2008 11:39:18 AM]
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| 5/13/2008 2:25:12 PM |
I just don't understand men |
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lucky4unme
Billings, MT
age: 53
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I guess one can just keep on talking with everyone they meet, but that seems pretty fool hearted. Personally, if after a few contacts I don't enjoy what I experience, then I simply either tell them that I won't be communicating ... or they generally drop out of communication. Sometimes, I just get lazy about it all or too busy to followup in a timely manner. It can be hard not to take that personally, but sometimes it really isn't personal at all...
Lasttime... I think if you're getting too confused about who you're communicating with...maybe you're talking to too many folks!  After all... just how many terrific women do you really need to occupy your wonderful and flexible time availability??
 A dozen or so??
What do you think the odds actually are of finding someone online that you'll fall madly in love with?
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| 5/13/2008 3:12:40 PM |
I just don't understand men |
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lasttime4me
Townsend, MT
age: 63 online now!
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Lucky: A man has do to what a man has to do. I am in no hurry, but at my age I don't want to sit around watching time pass either. Most that I talk too are mostly just friends, in hope of finding that one special one. I try and answer all the email I get, because you never know when that one in a million will be there.
To answer your question, I only want one, and if I didn't think I had a chance of finding her here , I wouldn't be waisting so much time on here, I have better things to do!
[Edited 5/13/2008 3:17:03 PM]
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