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Gay Self Examination Test ; )
by ca33idy1 at 7/7/2012 7:31:00 AM


GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION...

1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get your a** over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only suks on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training to suck El D*cko and undeniably a f*g.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop chute. Coffee is to be hard strong, black, and full aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NHL, college ball, PGA and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are f*ggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or play with his honey in the passenger seat.

8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to f*gs when they Flame out too.


Comments

mugster40
7/7/2012 7:36:42 AM

your to good
charlievol



7/7/2012 7:37:46 AM

lmfao!!!!! so ...#1 kind of fits you doesn't it? let me see your stomache...

ca33idy1
7/7/2012 7:40:00 AM

@charli...I'm the exception ; ) lol
moon_is_rising



7/7/2012 7:40:09 AM

See....Charli thinks this is autobiographical .....

mugster40
7/7/2012 7:40:30 AM

Yes i too was worried about #1 so went to the fridge to each and it was empty so i grabed a coke lol

ca33idy1
7/7/2012 7:40:53 AM

Thanx mugster...

k_4real
7/7/2012 7:41:26 AM

ROTFLMAO! Ca33idy u are crazy!
charlievol



7/7/2012 7:41:57 AM

@Clint.. I still wanna see you with your shirt off.......prove to me that your the exception.....

k_4real
7/7/2012 7:42:00 AM

Oh....and good morning all!
marinesrock



7/7/2012 7:43:10 AM

To funny I use Axe stuff

ca33idy1
7/7/2012 7:44:59 AM

Maybe I will post it on my profile ; ) jk

ladyprettygirl
online now!
7/7/2012 7:46:13 AM

PURE IGNORANCE! i dnt fnd it funny. gay r not. ur preference. dn othrs speak bout hurtn ppl feelns... i wonder wat she wud hav to say bout dis. d so-call principle of DH

madmadame
7/7/2012 7:47:27 AM

Many many years ago I dated a guy who had a dog that weighed maybe a pound. His name was killer and he was a biker dude. Funniest thing you ever saw was that guy with the teacup puppy...LOL

ladyprettygirl
online now!
7/7/2012 7:48:28 AM

i guess its jus a joke, ALL r laughn. jus dnt hope any gay emn get offended. tak care ppl
charlievol



7/7/2012 7:52:19 AM

@mad... @lady.. I think I can find humor in all things...and people get offended about one thing or another...no matter what you say someone, somewhere will be offended....

jenbutterflies
7/7/2012 7:52:41 AM

Oh Clint....how's your cat?
lkm123



7/7/2012 7:55:35 AM

lol..too dam funny
charlievol



7/7/2012 7:55:43 AM

@jen.. good one.....

ladyprettygirl
online now!
7/7/2012 7:55:45 AM

@ charlievol. yea tru.
moon_is_rising



7/7/2012 7:56:14 AM

sO..,,Does this mean you want or dont want that bag of lolli's you asked for....And who just went to see Ted

ezgoingru
7/7/2012 7:59:00 AM


ca33idy1
7/7/2012 7:59:12 AM

lmao! Like I said, i'm the exception (I love cats and dogs) and lollipops ; )

ca33idy1
7/7/2012 7:59:51 AM

Did u really have to post that ez? lol

ezgoingru
7/7/2012 8:08:12 AM

Sorry here's a better one!!
thehardworker



7/7/2012 8:09:43 AM

The best line was "If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a man there, too."...LMFAO!
charlievol



7/7/2012 8:10:11 AM

@Ezy...lmao!!!! why are the cute ones.. always GAY?

calildy
7/7/2012 8:11:51 AM

Clint you're a riot. I about spit my coffee all over the computer lmao
moon_is_rising



7/7/2012 8:12:06 AM

Maybe Clint can answer that Charli....he seems to know a lot..........

ca33idy1
7/7/2012 8:16:03 AM

@charli... The cute ones are always gay cuz they have been with soo many women, it turned them gay ; ) lol
charlievol



7/7/2012 8:16:53 AM

@Moon... I know.. I keep telling him to PROVE that he is the exception...but so far.. he is giving me nothing!!!but blah... blah.... blah.....
charlievol



7/7/2012 8:23:32 AM

@clint.. if you can give me some tips..maybe I can turn them back Straight.....So what is the correct way to suck on a lolli?

ca33idy1
7/7/2012 8:28:39 AM

Use the tip of your tongue, then stick the whole thing in your mouth! Do that over, and over again...lol

luv2ride59
7/7/2012 8:46:11 AM

Licking away, over and over again, and enjoying the cyber world as it cums my way. Clint, glad your a friend, because you are too funny to pass up. MUM! Just 'poking' my brother, Its nipply in here, poke, poke, lick, lick. cheers all

ca33idy1
7/7/2012 8:50:53 AM

Damn Cindy ; ) lmao

luv2ride59
7/7/2012 8:55:12 AM

Just trying to tell mum up there, how 'ic I would be with you. , I just drooled. No problem, lick, lick....got it. Dont want to waste any of it.

tcocoa
7/7/2012 10:50:37 AM

He's on it this evening lol! Good blog sir

tcocoa
7/7/2012 10:52:42 AM

@lady I see what you're saying we get called ignorant behind blogs like this all of the time lol! Too funny!

ca33idy1
7/7/2012 1:15:21 PM

Again, I say damn ; ) what's up cocoa and 4real?

ezgoingru
7/7/2012 1:23:36 PM


tcocoa
7/7/2012 2:04:05 PM

@ca33 you are

k_4real
7/7/2012 2:20:55 PM

@ca33idy...how u doin luv?

ca33idy1
7/7/2012 2:37:41 PM

I'm good ; ) How are the 3 stooges doing (Cocoa, 4real and luv33y) ? lol

tatinou7bb
7/7/2012 2:56:32 PM

Clint

ca33idy1
7/7/2012 2:59:29 PM

I wondered where u were at tat ; )

k_4real
7/7/2012 3:02:56 PM

@ca33idy...Hahahaha that's cute. Doin fine now luv.....been missin u. LOL!
lovergurl1



7/17/2012 6:17:46 AM

Omg! This is the funniest shit I've read in a long time!