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I love you
by morles at 7/13/2013 7:26:20 PM
Man and wife were sitting on porch---He says-- I love you---wife replied , is that you or the beer talking? He replied --"I was talking TO MY BEER"....  the BULL... 
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Asiana Airlines Pilots Names Released...
by morles at 7/12/2013 4:42:17 PM
Asiana Airlines has just released the names of the crew in the B-777 accident in SFO. Pilot in Command: Captain Sum Ting Wong Line Check Airman: Captain Wi Tu Lo First Officer: Ho Lee Fuk First...
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Never ask a Pregnant Prostitute....
by morles at 7/9/2013 10:40:33 AM
.....[b]"Who's the Daddy"[/b] Because she will probably say if you eat a can a Beans would you know which Bean made you FART!!  the BULL...
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I Love You Sweetheart...
by morles at 7/6/2013 10:29:25 PM
A group of women were at a seminar on “How to live in a loving relationship with your husband”. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?" All the women raised their hands. ...
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Don't wait to long....
by morles at 7/5/2013 1:53:54 PM
A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him t...
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Amazing, Simple Home Remedies:
by morles at 6/30/2013 4:09:50 PM
1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP. 2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK....
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Will I Live to see 90..???
by morles at 6/28/2013 6:15:41 PM
>> Here's something to think about....... >> I recently picked a new primary care doctor. >> After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. >> A litt...
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The Knob
by morles at 6/27/2013 4:10:27 PM
A woman visited a plastic surgeon who told her about a new procedure called 'The Knob,' where a small knob is placed at the top of the woman's head and could be turned to tighten up her skin and produ...
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Sex and Good Grammar..
by morles at 6/19/2013 9:28:14 PM
On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simp...
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When Profiling Started....
by morles at 5/26/2013 12:47:37 AM
The day it all started was March 6, 1836. On that fateful day, Davy Crockett woke up and rose from his bunk on the main floor of the Alamo , and walked up to the observation post along the west ...
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Three OLD GOLFER's
by morles at 5/23/2013 10:12:44 PM
Three old golfers are walking down the fairway. "Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old ( Not sure but I think this is Harry..?? ), "You always feel like ... you have to pee. And most...
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Complex world...??
by morles at 5/22/2013 7:35:16 AM
The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?"...
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How smart is your Lawyer...????
by morles at 5/18/2013 1:31:47 PM
This took place in Charlotte, North Carolina. A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his ent...
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Irish Priest
by morles at 5/6/2013 12:23:21 PM
Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a finespring day in his new western South Dakota mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful da...
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Cosmetic Surgery
by morles at 5/4/2013 11:40:36 PM
Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman said, I need to be honest with you, I'm getting a boob job. The second woman responded, Oh, t...
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Home alone remember Little Ralphy don't we..???
by morles at 4/27/2013 10:21:51 PM
Sometimes we receive a email thats a Heart Warmer and we just have to share.... A Door to Door Saleman knocks at the Door.. Wouldn't you know its our Little Ralphy(10yrs old) who opens the doors...
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Update from Oklahoma
by morles at 4/26/2013 12:28:22 PM
Oklahoma is the only state that Obama did not win even one county in the last election... While everyone is focusing on Arizona ’s new law, look what Oklahoma has been doing!!!! Oklahoma law...
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How do you FEEL..???
by morles at 4/8/2013 8:57:41 PM
[IMG]http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm102/TexLes/old4_zpsbcea144d.jpg[/IMG]
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Buy your Lady Friend a Birthday Gift...
by morles at 4/4/2013 7:44:30 PM
Last year I bought my Lady Friend a Cemetery Plot for her Birthday... I didn't buy her anything this year... She felt offended and ask me why I didn't buy her anything ... I said because she did...
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No Brainer..
by morles at 3/26/2013 10:18:41 AM
You are driving down the road in your Corvette on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die....
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Motel Bill..??
by morles at 3/21/2013 5:38:39 PM
A married couple are traveling cross country by car from New York to San Francisco . Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue, and decided to take a ro...
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"Comfortable"
by morles at 3/20/2013 2:00:01 PM
Two sisters, one blond and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they ...
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Top Ten Country Songs of all Times
by morles at 3/11/2013 10:38:01 AM
Top Ten Country Western Songs. 10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine 9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With A Few 8. If The Phone Don'...
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Sex after Surgery
by morles at 3/6/2013 11:18:09 AM
A surgeon went to check on his patient after an operation. You'll be fine," he said. She asked “How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?" The surgeon seemed to pa...
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Do others LQQK Old to you.??
by morles at 3/5/2013 7:35:18 PM
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD. WELL SURELY. . . YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE. "MY NAME IS ALICE , AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ...
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Some days you just can't win....
by morles at 3/4/2013 8:01:52 PM
Today I had to go to Wal-Marts. As I approached the entrance, I noticed a driver looking for a parking space. I flagged the driver and pointed out a handicap parking space that was open and available....
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Remembering our Mom's and Dad's
by morles at 2/25/2013 10:02:40 AM
Words we just do hear or use anymore..... >Be sure to refill the ice trays, we're going to have company. >Watch for the postman, I want to get this letter to Willie in the mail today .. >Quit sla...
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Never Brag about your Pecker...
by morles at 2/23/2013 7:02:37 PM
A redneck went to the hospital, as his wife was having a baby. Upon arriving, he sat down as the nurse said to him, “Congratulations, your wife has had quints, five big baby boys." The redneck ...
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When you have a Orgasm...
by morles at 2/4/2013 1:44:39 PM
A professor at the University of Texas was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students. Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor...
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No Speak English Senor...
by morles at 2/2/2013 3:09:56 PM
A Mexican woman married a Texas Cowboy and they lived happily ever after. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whene...
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No Win For Men
by morles at 2/1/2013 11:18:01 AM
All men will attest to some real wisdom in this analogy . In the world of romance, one single rule applies: [b]MAKE THE WOMAN HAPPY![/b] Do something she likes, and you get points. Do somethin...
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Why have SEX..??
by morles at 1/31/2013 8:18:24 PM
Burning love apparently does not equate to burning fat. A new study from the University of Alabama at Birmingham says the average sex act burns only about 21 calories. The study, published Wednesda...
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Bible Reading...
by morles at 1/30/2013 5:58:01 PM
Today's Short Reading from the Bible... from the book of Genesis: "And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth". Then he made the earth round... and ...
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Thought for the Day
by morles at 1/8/2013 1:25:00 PM
Thought for the day.... Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant' is like calling a drug dealer an 'unlicensed pharmacist'
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Letter to the Editor
by morles at 1/7/2013 11:28:14 AM
LETTER to the EDITOR-- MINNEAPOLIS STAR TRIBUNE Let's look at what we have learned from this election: Twenty-one of 22 incumbent senators were re-elected, and 353 of 373 incumbent members of t...
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Obama 4th Best President Ever
by morles at 12/30/2012 7:16:17 PM
I just read that after fewer than four years in office, Obama has been rated the fourth best president ever. Of all our past presidents: Ronald Reagan and 9 others tied for first; 15 tied for se...
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Sven and Ole visiting Texas..
by morles at 12/26/2012 10:57:17 AM
While walking along the street, they see a sign on a store front which reads: Suits $5.00 each Shirts $2.00 each Trousers $2.50 per pair Sven says to his pal, "Hey Ole! We could buy a whole lot of...
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Fiscal Cliff Explained in Plain English
by morles at 12/22/2012 8:44:33 PM
We all have been hearing about the Fiscal Cliff unless you are living under a rock. Here is a great Plain English explanation. Lesson # 1: * U.S. Tax revenue: $2,170,000,000,000 ...
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49 more States to go...
by morles at 12/12/2012 8:04:08 PM
Only 49 more states to go! Hooray for Florida ! I-95 and I-75 will be jammed for the next month or so with druggies and deadbeats heading North out of Florida, because this is the firs...
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Grandmothers -vs- Granddaddy's
by morles at 12/4/2012 9:32:10 PM
This should help to establish the difference's There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would t...
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Colored Folks..
by morles at 12/3/2012 7:05:19 PM
.......... When U Black, U Black When I was born, I was BLACK, When I grew up, I was BLACK, When I went in the sun, I stayed BLACK, ...
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Vasectomy
by morles at 12/2/2012 9:29:32 AM
A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off. When he is fully undressed ...
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Nude Santa.... Adults Only
by morles at 11/29/2012 7:14:04 PM
Adults only NUDE SANTA ----- Scroll down to see the nude Santa * * * * * * * * * * * * * For crying out loud. Act your age. There ...
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No Smoking...
by morles at 11/25/2012 9:17:05 AM
5. California Cities Ban Smoking — at Home In what may be taking the “nanny state” to the extreme, 18 cities and counties in California have banned residents from smoking — in their own apartments ...
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Take note Ladies....
by morles at 11/23/2012 9:01:21 PM
"To make it Stand---you Wet It" "To make it Wet-----you Suck It" "To make it Stiff---you Lick It" "To get it in-------you help guide it" . . . . . . . . . .....Damn Theading a Nee...
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I Prayed and Played
by morles at 11/11/2012 6:15:37 AM
Recently I was asked by a funeral director to pray and play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a Bexar County Cemetery in Texas. As I w...
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odie but goody... Two Nuns..
by morles at 11/10/2012 8:35:11 AM
There were two nuns One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), And the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM...
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Sex in the Shower...
by morles at 11/5/2012 12:40:26 PM
SEX IN THE SHOWER In a recent survey commissioned by President Obama, his supporters have proven to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower. The survey was carried out for democrats by ...
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What a relief to learn this
by morles at 10/21/2012 11:18:49 AM
Ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind, only to completely forget what that purpose was? Turns out, doors themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses. Psychologists at the U...
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Cold Winter
by morles at 10/21/2012 8:53:15 AM
The Farmer's Almanac is predicting a very cold winter. It must be true because the squirrels are gathering NUTS. Three of my friends have already disappeared. Are you O.K.?
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Blond Men
by morles at 10/20/2012 8:13:10 AM
Now this is different... You gals enjoy.. A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year." The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th." ------------------------------...
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Urine Tests
by morles at 10/18/2012 12:23:56 PM
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Hillary
by morles at 10/16/2012 8:13:36 AM
Hillary is trying to bail the president out of the Libya situation, by claiming that it was her job to oversee and protect our foreign representatives. That's all fine and good, and the president had ...
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Post America World
by morles at 10/15/2012 3:25:53 PM
The name of the Book Obama is holding is Titled "The Post American World" It was written by a Fellow Muslin (Fareed Zakaria) "Post America" means The World "AFTER America" Its all about t...
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Obama's Quote
by morles at 10/14/2012 10:40:00 AM
Remember his quote before you Vote..
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Bless me Father for I have Sin
by morles at 10/13/2012 5:18:22 PM
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a Loose Girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, Ralphy?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you,...
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Your Drink and What it means
by morles at 10/12/2012 7:17:44 PM
> WOMAN DRINKS AND WHO THEY MIGHT BE... > > Drink:Beer > Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth. > Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. >...
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Gonorrhea Lectim.. Deadly Disease
by morles at 10/12/2012 7:05:44 AM
Gonorrhea Lectim … new deadly disease One should be thinking about this seriously. I'm sending this because I know you are bright and I care about you. The Center for Disease Control has issued a wa...
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Unemloyment report explained...
by morles at 10/10/2012 6:04:18 PM
So....how can over 873,000 people come off the unemployment line......when there were only a little over 114,000 jobs created????? How the heck do I know! ...
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Just another School Day for Ralphy
by morles at 10/9/2012 9:39:37 AM
the BULL
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You Want Me...
by morles at 10/4/2012 9:37:11 AM
I will seek and find you. I shall take you to bed and have my way with you. I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan. I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop. I...
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Gynecologist's Assistant..
by morles at 10/2/2012 7:39:45 PM
A Old Cowboy went into the Job Center in Downtown San Antonio, and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details. The clerk pulled ...
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Beauty Treatment....
by morles at 10/1/2012 6:17:28 PM
the BULL... 
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No Underwear..
by morles at 10/1/2012 9:25:45 AM
Ralphy came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down. Grandpa, what are you doin...
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THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD
by morles at 9/29/2012 7:33:50 PM
Well, it's shit .... that's right, shit! Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language. You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit and tell ot...
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Scotch and Water....
by morles at 9/27/2012 4:14:18 AM
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's to...
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TAXI
by morles at 9/18/2012 7:27:36 AM
An Arab Muslim enters a taxi cab in San Antonio, Texas.. Once he is seated he asks the cab driver to turn off the radio because he must not hear music as decreed by his religion, and in the time of...
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Men have Feeling too...
by morles at 9/15/2012 9:00:44 PM
We get Hunger Pains... In need of a Beer and where the Hell is the Remote... 
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Testicular Cancer
by morles at 9/11/2012 6:57:46 AM
Men who had smoked marijuana recreationally were twice as likely to be diagnosed with testicular cancer than men who have never used marijuana, according to a U.S. study. Researchers whose findings...
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Ralpy meets Obama
by morles at 9/10/2012 5:11:24 PM
Ralphy Meets Barack Obama as he was visiting his primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the pr...
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Louisiana Cajuns..???
by morles at 9/7/2012 9:10:01 AM
A large number of people, implying with bad jokes and anecdotes, that Louisiana Cajuns ain't to dam smart.... For the record I disagree with that assessment.... Anybody who would build a city five fee...
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New DNC Slogan
by morles at 9/4/2012 9:23:18 AM
Bend over and grab your cheeks... Obama is not done... He needs four more years...  the BULL ....
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Color of your eyes...
by morles at 9/3/2012 2:39:29 PM
If a guy remembers the Color of your Eyes...after your first date.... then you know you have small BOOB's...  the BULL ..
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I seen Ralphy in Church this morning
by morles at 9/2/2012 8:46:38 AM
After a church service this morning, Ralphy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister." "That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?" Ralphy mother responde...
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Exhaustipated..
by morles at 8/24/2012 6:03:06 AM
Just to tired to give a SHIT..!!!! the BULL
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Olympic's Commentators Remarks. "Oops"
by morles at 8/21/2012 6:56:57 AM
Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back: 1.Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw ...
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Nudist Colony
by morles at 8/11/2012 8:02:41 AM
A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony..... On his first day there, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an...
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Never question a "Man's Intuitvely"
by morles at 8/7/2012 6:30:54 PM
A Gal was shopping at the local supermarket where she selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk A carton of eggs A quart of orange juice A head of lettuce A 2 lb. can of coffee A 1 lb. package of ba...
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Did you know....
by morles at 8/5/2012 10:56:35 AM
~Your Kids are becoming you...and you don't like them ...but your grandchildren are Perfect! ~Going Out is good.. Coming Home is better! ~You Forget names ...But it's OK because other people ...
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Ten Poorest Cities in the USA
by morles at 7/31/2012 4:27:16 PM
The following is very interesting... City, State, % of People Below the Poverty Level 1. Detroit , MI 32.5% 2. Buffalo , NY 29.9% 3. Cincinnati , OH 27.8% 4. Cleveland , OH 27.0% 5. Miami ...
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Texas Tomstone..
by morles at 7/31/2012 11:39:35 AM
A Old Texas Cowboy had this written on his Headstone not knowing it would be awarded "The Best Headstone Condolence" ever... FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE: 1. It's import...
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Six Golden Rules for F***ing
by morles at 7/23/2012 7:32:04 AM
> > These rules are so true. > > 1. F***ing once a week is good for your health, but its harmful > > if done every day. > > 2. F***ing gives proper relaxation for your mind & body. > > 3. F***ing ...
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OLD...
by morles at 7/13/2012 11:04:12 PM
'OLD' IS WHEN.... Your sweetie says 'Let's go upstairs and make love' and you answer: 'Pick one, I can't do both!' 'OLD' IS WHEN... Your friends compliment you on your new all...
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Socially Unacceptable Humor..
by morles at 7/13/2012 8:17:01 AM
"I Luv these.... to funny" ..  I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg." ........
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2011 Tax Return...??
by morles at 7/11/2012 8:59:39 AM
I just received my tax return for 2011 back from the IRS. It puzzles me!!! They are questioning how many dependents I claimed. I guess it was because of my response to the question: "List all dependen...
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Madame riding horseback
by morles at 7/2/2012 9:42:28 AM
Madame decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons, nor prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a ...
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ASA Screening Results
by morles at 7/1/2012 9:14:03 PM
Airport (TSA) Screening Results thur June Statistics On Airport Screening From The Department Of Homeland Security: Terrorists Discovered 0 Transvestites 133 Hernias 1,485 Hemorrhoid Cases 3,...
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Thank You Florida, Kentucky. and Missouri...
by morles at 6/13/2012 9:32:50 AM
You are the first states that will require drug testing for Welfare... Some are crying and calling this unconstitutional... How is this unconstitutional...???? So what they are saying ..Its Okay to ...
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Hold on to your Hat
by morles at 6/10/2012 6:43:40 PM
A sophisticated Texas lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind. A very fine dress gentleman approached her and said, "Pard...
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No Respect for us Gents
by morles at 6/5/2012 4:30:26 PM
------------------------------- Wife : 'Do you want dinner?' Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?' Wife: 'Yes or no.' _______________________ Wife: what are you doing..??? ...
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BBQ RULES...
by morles at 5/31/2012 11:34:59 AM
We are enering into the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain ...
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Read and Write English
by morles at 5/29/2012 1:12:56 PM
Just this month, Oklahoma has voted and passed a law that ALL driver's license exams will be printed in English, and only English, and no other language. They have been called racist for doing this, b...
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Bill banning Islamic LAWS
by morles at 5/26/2012 6:33:37 AM
KANSAS CITY, Kansas (Reuters) - Republican Kansas Governor Sam Brownback signed a bill aimed at keeping state courts and agencies from using Islamic or other non-U.S. laws when making decisions, his o...
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oh dear....
by morles at 5/24/2012 6:35:05 AM
Ever wonder what the feathers in an Indian's headdress stood for? A female reporter, interviewing an American Indian Chief, asked the significance of the varied number of feathers in Indian h...
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Mick Jagger
by morles at 5/20/2012 5:24:58 AM
Seems like all we do is hear of the Death of famous Singers here lately... Did y'all watch Saturday Night Live last night with Mick Jagger as their Guest ... the Old Fart I believe he is 68 years old ...
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"Whisper Dirty in my Ear..."
by morles at 5/19/2012 9:00:21 AM
A wife says to her husband.... Honey please "Whisper Dirty in my Ear" To which the husband replies.... "Kitchen".."Bathroom".."Livingroom" Visiting hours at the hospitall are 2PM-9PM I...
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Sperm Sample....??
by morles at 5/18/2012 11:27:36 AM
OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet! An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave ...
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Men with Instructions..
by morles at 5/4/2012 2:36:16 PM
Women say Men should come with instructions.. Oh Really.. Have you ever seen a woman read Instructions ???.. run Bull run... 
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Never to OLD to Cheat...
by morles at 5/4/2012 8:16:47 AM
One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her husband in bed with another woman. Angry, she became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their apartment, k...
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Ole...Says he is Yust Fine..!!
by morles at 5/3/2012 10:31:52 AM
A Minnesota farmer named Ole had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company. In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot attorney questioned him thus: "Didn't you say to...
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Suthunuhs are Sweet Sugah
by morles at 5/2/2012 12:01:31 PM
Suthunuhs! Southerners know their summer weather report: Humidity Humidity Humidity ------------------------- Southerners know their vacation spots: The beach The rivuh The crick -------- S...
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Where are you Lady's from..???
by morles at 5/1/2012 6:32:14 AM
I was in a pub on Saturday night. Had a few. I noticed two large women by the bar. > > They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey are you two ladies from Scotland?" > One of them chirped: "It's...
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Do you Text Talk and Drive......???
by morles at 4/29/2012 9:16:58 AM
I see these people every morning driving past my house... They only live up the street a short distance and they are already on the phone by the time they get past my house...  The num...
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Simple Truth...
by morles at 4/25/2012 9:58:49 AM
SIMPLE TRUTH 1 A man will always help a lady undress before sex. However after sex, she always gets dress on her own. Moral of the story: Its real life, no one helps you once you're screwed. ...
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Did you Women know.....
by morles at 4/15/2012 8:37:11 AM
You are the CAUSE of Mother-in-Law Jokes [IMG]http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm102/TexLes/Lukethedrifter-1.jpg[/IMG] the BULL
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Lovemaking for Seniors
by morles at 4/8/2012 9:17:22 PM
1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed. 2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle. 3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!) 4. M...
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Family Question...
by morles at 4/3/2012 3:19:49 AM
Billy-Bob and Bubba were sitting out on the lake in a boat fishing, drinking a beer and talking about life. Billy-Bob said: "If I snuck over to your house while you were out fishing and had sex with ...
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Mexican Oysters...???
by morles at 3/26/2012 7:21:29 PM
A Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico . While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not on...
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Grandmothers and Grandfathers are different
by morles at 3/14/2012 2:31:09 PM
Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? >>>>>>>>>>Well, here it is:<<<<<<<<<<< There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to ...
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Condoms..
by morles at 3/10/2012 10:19:43 AM
Cowboy..."Give me 3 Packets of Condoms" Cashier... "Do you need a paper sack with that"??... Cowboy ..."Nah she ain't that UGLY"... the BULL
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Argue this Logic
by morles at 3/7/2012 6:50:55 AM
Women always say that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts. Here is proof that they are wrong. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say "it wo...
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Harry .... is MIA
by morles at 2/24/2012 11:35:45 AM
OKay... I have been busy with building a new garage and working on my 1957 Buick... What happen to our man Harry.. Did he Fall in L ve..???? Where did his previous Blogs go..::idontkn...
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Amen...
by morles at 2/19/2012 9:07:54 AM
An old pastor lay dying. He sent a message for an Internal Revenue Service agent and his lawyer to come to the hospital. When they arrived, they were quickly ushered up to his room. As they entered...
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the Media Sucks
by morles at 2/18/2012 4:47:49 PM
Charlie Sheen is 45 and his story is all over the news because he is a substance abuser, an adulterer, sexually promiscuous and obnoxious. Lindsay Lohan is 24 and her story is all over the news bec...
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Guts vs Balls
by morles at 2/4/2012 7:32:29 AM
Distinction between Guts and Balls: To those of you who are nit-pickers about the meaning of words: there is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard about people having Guts ...
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Lunch with the girls
by morles at 2/2/2012 3:50:08 PM
A group of 15-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View restaurant because they had only $6.00 among them and Jimm...
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Irish Alzheimer's
by morles at 2/1/2012 11:35:46 PM
Murphy showed up at Mass Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He never went to church. After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come ...
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My kids..
by morles at 1/31/2012 5:24:19 PM
FATHER OF THE YEAR A man boarded a plane with six kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids...
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My Dog
by morles at 1/30/2012 7:24:59 PM
It just hit me!! My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him. His meals are provided at no cost to him. He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup, and again during the...
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It didn't take long for these to come out.....
by morles at 1/27/2012 7:16:53 AM
# How do they serve alcoholic drinks on Italian cruise ships? - On the rocks # What vegetables do you get with dinner on Italian cruise ships? - Leeks # What's the fastest way to get off an ...
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Tiolet Seat
by morles at 1/26/2012 2:35:45 PM
THE TOILET SEAT Charlie's wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was out. After finishing, he left to take...
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Senior Wedding...
by morles at 1/25/2012 12:22:20 PM
Jacob, age 92, and Mary, age 89, living in Fort Myers, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob s...
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Ole goes Goose Hunting...
by morles at 1/20/2012 6:18:56 PM
Goose Hunting: Ole was hunting geese up in the Minnesota woods. He leaned the old 16-gauge shotgun against the corner of the blind to take a leak. As luck would have it, his foolish dog knocked the...
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Ole gets a new cow..
by morles at 1/10/2012 6:30:57 PM
Ole is a farmer in Minniesnowta . He is in need of a new milk cow and hears about a nice one for sale over in Nordakota. (That would be North Dakota for you non-Scandahoovians out there). He drives ...
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Merry Christmas from the Bull
by morles at 12/21/2011 11:26:08 PM
[img]http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/373844_323965130961150_209125412445123_1215259_1210504169_n.jpg[/img]
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Obama and Ralphy
by morles at 12/16/2011 10:09:45 AM
Obama is out jogging one morning and notices Little Ralphy on the corner with a box. Curious, he runs over to Little Ralphy and says, "What's in the box, kid?" Ralphy says, "Kittens, they're brand...
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Wisdom of Children.... Even Ralphy
by morles at 12/15/2011 3:00:18 PM
1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and d...
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Ralphy is playing Cards
by morles at 12/14/2011 1:07:00 PM
Ralphy woke up in the middle of the night and went to the bathroom. On the way back to bed, he passed his parents room. When he looked in, he noticed the covers bouncing. He called to his dad, "Hey Da...
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Ralphy tries out for the School Play
by morles at 12/13/2011 1:07:42 PM
Ralphy tries out for the school play. The teacher gave him these lines to practice: "Hark! A pistol shot! There lies a lady with hope in her soul. I think I'll snatch a kiss and run into the fores...
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Ralphy Gets a New Young Teacher
by morles at 12/12/2011 12:23:59 PM
Ralphy gets a new young female teacher and she was giving an assignment to the class. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one o...
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Ralpy Favorite Animal..
by morles at 12/11/2011 2:25:20 PM
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always t...
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Another Good Morning Coffee Blog
by morles at 12/10/2011 6:48:58 AM
A group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments. "My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one. "Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts ...
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A OLD TEXAS COWBOY
by morles at 12/4/2011 2:50:07 PM
*A Old Texas Cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman---* *He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment.* *The woman notices this and asks,...
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Women have no respect for us Men
by morles at 12/2/2011 4:52:28 PM
A GUY IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS LIVE IN GIRL FRIEND INTERRUPTS, HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW . HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAY...
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Polish Sauage...???
by morles at 12/1/2011 6:58:09 PM
Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days. A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?" The clerk asks, "Are you Polish?" The guy, clearly offended, s...
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One of the BULL's Favorite
by morles at 11/30/2011 1:11:26 PM
I wonder how many people will delete this without reading it because of the title. It is a shame but this message is very true. Hope you are all as blessed as I was by this story. There once was ...
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Ralphy visit his Grandparents....
by morles at 11/29/2011 7:41:58 AM
Ralphy came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the front porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down. 'Grandpa, what are ...
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Two Simple Truths...
by morles at 11/28/2011 10:35:38 AM
SIMPLE TRUTH # 1 When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and saying "congrats". But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say "Good job". Moral of the story: "...
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Madame the tongue tells six great Truths..
by morles at 11/24/2011 4:40:02 PM
1. You cannot stick out your tongue and look up at the ceiling at the same time, a physical impossibility due to the tendons in your neck. Further information regarding this phenomenon follows. ...
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Who said the Bull always slam women...NAW
by morles at 11/22/2011 1:40:53 PM
How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry It! Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.. How do...
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Read the Label First
by morles at 11/22/2011 7:05:26 AM
A physics teacher in high school, once told the students that while one grasshopper on the railroad tracks wouldn't slow a train very much, a billion of them would. With that thought in mind, read the...
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Ralphy talks to Santa tonight
by morles at 11/18/2011 6:09:21 PM
Ralphy is talking to Santa and Santa puts his finger on Ralphy nose and says "I bet your name is (spells out ) Ralphy?" Ralphy eyes light up a bit and Santa puts his finger on the nose of Ralphy ag...
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Ralphy Moms Doctor...
by morles at 11/17/2011 2:17:51 PM
Ralphy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to break something, but Ralphy continues on like he doesn't hear ...
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Please Shop Sears...
by morles at 11/15/2011 10:03:47 AM
This is out of the normal for me posting these kind of Blogs but just being Veterans day and all ... I thought this is very important for all to know Sears do care about our military employees and vet...
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Ralphy is at his Grandmother today
by morles at 11/13/2011 1:02:06 PM
Ralpy was spending this Sunday with his Grandmother at her house.. Ralpy Grandmother was dusting and picking up things in her Bedroom... and Ralphy ask her why she doesn't have a Boy Friend now tha...
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Cowboy Bob....
by morles at 11/12/2011 1:50:27 PM
A modern day cowboy named Bob has spent many days crossing the South Dakota prairies without water. His horse had already died of thirst. He's crawling along the dusty ground, certain that he has ...
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I was invited over to Ralphy's for Dinner...
by morles at 11/11/2011 11:31:59 AM
Ralphy watched his dad's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw his Dad and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Ralphy found this so exciting ...
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I checked in on RAPHY this morning.
by morles at 11/10/2011 10:26:43 AM
Ralpy comes down the stairs for breakfast. Since they now live on a farm, and his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said Ralpy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does ...
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Cold Winter
by morles at 11/9/2011 8:51:02 AM
The Farmer's Almanac is predicting a very cold winter. It must be true because the squirrels are gathering NUTS. Three of my friends have already disappeared. Are you O.K.? the BULL
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Banks admit they don't care about small customers
by morles at 11/7/2011 9:43:36 AM
Thousands of people flooded into credit unions and small banks over the weekend as part of "Bank Transfer Day," an effort to prod depositors to abandon giant banks. But at least some of the big banks ...
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Funeral
by morles at 11/7/2011 7:43:10 AM
A man was leaving Morningloria Coffee Blog with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hea...
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Scary but true
by morles at 11/4/2011 9:10:39 AM
Someone had to remind me, So I'm reminding you, too. Don't laugh.... It is all true! Perks of reaching 50 Or being over 60 And heading towards 70 or beyond! 1. Kidnappers are not very ...
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Rye Bread
by morles at 11/2/2011 8:18:31 PM
The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 84 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87 year ...
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Lots of Loving
by morles at 11/2/2011 7:02:07 AM
As a young farm couple in Minniesnowta, Ole and Leana, gets married and just couldn't seem to get enough lovin.' In the morning before Ole left the house for the field, they made love. when Ole came b...
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A Real Woman
by morles at 10/31/2011 7:03:48 PM
A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire hi...
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Pit BULLS
by morles at 10/27/2011 6:35:37 PM
Dog rips ear off W. Phila. woman having seizure A pit bull attacked a 19-year-old woman Wednesday morning in the Wynnefield section of Philadelphia, severing her right ear, police said. The vict...
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Seniors Halloween
by morles at 10/26/2011 6:30:50 PM
An old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time decided to dress up and go out. The old woman went into her bedroom, stripped naked and tied a lemon between her legs. When she c...
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Norwegian Virgins
by morles at 10/23/2011 8:16:37 PM
Thinking about our Ninniesnowta Friends.. Mad>Madame and Broder Bub..... >>> >>> Olof Swenson, out in his pasture in Northern Minnesota, took a lightning-quick kick from a cow... >>> right in ...
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More Bad News for Bank Customer's
by morles at 9/30/2011 7:15:40 AM
NEW YORK (AP) -- Bank of America will start charging debit-card users $5 a month to pay for purchases. The move comes as the cards increasingly replace cash and as banks look for ways to offset the lo...
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Last Raunchy Ralphy Story today..
by morles at 9/28/2011 6:56:48 AM
This will be my last Ralphy Story for awhile.. I haven't wrote anymore up at this time account I will addressing some other project and will be busy not to mention a up coming trip I will be making.. ...
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Madame & Broder Bub in Minniesnowta.. Ya
by morles at 9/27/2011 12:06:33 PM
LENA and OLE in Minniesnowta Ya... Why do I think of Madame and Bub when I hear LENA and OLE.. Lena is Pregnant with Ole's Child. Late One night, Lena vakes Ole and says, 'I t...
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Ralphy maybe getting a new bicycle (Blackmailing)
by morles at 9/27/2011 6:55:40 AM
Ralphy has for months been asking his folks for a new bicyle..to no avail... So today when he came home from school early which we all know he does lots of time ... He came in the back door and his mo...
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Ralphy and Susie... No No
by morles at 9/26/2011 7:13:11 AM
Little Susie raised her hand during a biology lesson and asked if her grandmother could have a baby. Miss Rogers was a bit surprised and astounded at the question but answered Susie questions that her...
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Raunchy Ralphy is the Altar Boy today
by morles at 9/25/2011 8:57:16 AM
Ralphy was chosen to be the altar boy today at church and assist at the confession both.. A newly trained Priest was ask to take confession for Father Collins the regular Priest and offer penance to t...
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Ralphy and the Birds and the Bees
by morles at 9/24/2011 8:56:53 AM
Ralphy came home from LeRoy's across the street from a morning session of playing their fantasy NBA Basketball.. like they do every Sat morning... Ralphy is walking thur the house and his dad was sett...
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Friday Ralphy is THINKING and going home early
by morles at 9/23/2011 8:44:31 AM
Today in class Miss Rogers brought a bag full of fruit and vegatables . "Now class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit or vegatable, and you tell me what it is I'm talking a...
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Bub and Steve were right.. Ralphy is a POLITICAN
by morles at 9/22/2011 6:04:44 AM
President Obama was visiting the school today that Ralphy attends. Miss Rogers class was having a discussion related to words and their meanings. Miss Rogers asked the President if he would like to...
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Raunchy Ralphy
by morles at 9/21/2011 8:52:25 AM
Miss Rogers says to the kids, "Today, class, we will be telling stories that have a moral to them." She explained what a moral to a story was and asked for volunteers. Little Suzie raises her hand. ...
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Miss Roger Wins today
by morles at 9/20/2011 8:59:34 AM
First thing this morning ... Like all Mornings Miss Rogers was collecting all the students homework... and like usual Ralphy didn't have his.. Whats you excuse today Miss Rogers ask... Ralpy says I di...
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Definitely Ralphy
by morles at 9/19/2011 10:19:48 AM
Miss Rogers was going over words today and having the student use them in sentences... She explain the word "definite" a adj and "definitely" a adv.... meaning exact and conclusive... Susie says ...
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Ralphy at the Beach today..
by morles at 9/18/2011 8:13:55 AM
Its Sunday but LeRoy and Ralphy decides they aren't going to church today.. So they head to the beach instead... What a day they were having playing and running up down the beach... LeRoy says hey...
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Ralphy is at the Flea Market today...
by morles at 9/17/2011 6:57:35 AM
Its Saturday and the last Flea Market of the Year is being held at the Riverside Park... All the schools are advocating to the students to participate to learn and show their Sales and Marketing Skill...
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All Point News Bulletin
by morles at 9/16/2011 1:51:23 PM
San Antonio is getting some rain today... from where I could less..... its coming from the sky... Thanks all to you who have been faithfully rain dancing for us...... the BULL
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Ralphy is out of School Early ... its Friday
by morles at 9/16/2011 6:13:33 AM
Like always... Ralphy always seems to find a way to get out of school early on Fridays.. Just before lunch here comes Ralphy walking in the front door at home.... His Mother with a surprised lo...
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Ralphy doing Alphabet Exercises
by morles at 9/15/2011 6:33:16 AM
Today Miss Rogers was doing a hurry-up and rhymes alphabet exercises ... so the students will learn their alphabet better and faster... Miss Rogers was explaining and for example if she said "A" the s...
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Palphy didn't do his Homework...???
by morles at 9/14/2011 6:31:26 AM
Its Wednesday and Miss Rogers is collecting all the Homework Papers... She comes to Ralphy and she says Ralphy where is your Homework Paper... Ralphy replies that she knew he was sick with gas pains y...
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Tuesday and Ralphy Farts in the Classroom
by morles at 9/13/2011 11:23:18 AM
Raunchy Ralphy really got into some BAD Mexican Food Last Night... Miss Rogers with her back to the class and writing on the chalk Board ..and then with a Loud "R-I-P" Ralpy let on go...and she hear...
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Sunday Morning and Ralphy is doing Confessions..
by morles at 9/11/2011 4:15:19 AM
Its early Sunday morning confessions at church this morning before Early Mass... Ralphy just dreads the task of confessing his sins he committed all week... He is standing at the rear of the line and ...
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Saturday and Ralphy is playing Basketball today..
by morles at 9/10/2011 9:21:36 AM
Ralpy and all his friends are across the street from his house playing basketball on LeRoy Drive-way...this morning... LeRoy Dad made a nice basketball hoop making a great place to play.. Shooting t...
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Friday and do think Ralphy gets in trouble..NAW
by morles at 9/9/2011 9:44:53 AM
Yepper Miss Rogers is off sick again today after yesterday mishap with Ralphy... Yepper Miss Prussy is again the substitute teacher for today... First this morning Miss Prussy says we are goin...
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Raunchy Ralphy
by morles at 9/8/2011 9:43:44 AM
Just a quick note to y'all before today episode of Ralphy... I read or hear jokes that I incorporate in to our little imaginary Bad Boy Ralphy.. Yes some say I have a corrupt and morbid mind..so be it...
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Its Wednesday and Ralphy is behaving well sorta of
by morles at 9/7/2011 10:54:37 AM
Miss Rogers ..Ralpy regular school teacher...Was again sick today and again Miss Prussy was filling for Miss Rogers... First off this morning Miss Prussy ask the class if they remembered her na...
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Raunchy Ralphy is back in School today...
by morles at 9/6/2011 12:04:45 PM
Miss Rogers .. Ralphy regular teacher was sick today... so Ralphy had a subsitute teacher... Wanting to make a good impression with the children she caught all there attention and with a very chee...
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Labor Day and again No School for Ralphy today...
by morles at 9/5/2011 2:49:48 PM
No school today so Ralphy headed to the park again... and setting on a Park Bench.. He was studying something in his hand.. about the same time Susie his class mate come along and ask Ralphy what he h...
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Please take 5 min to read this--Especially you Gals
by morles at 9/5/2011 7:37:57 AM
It may save your life or a loved one's life. In daylight hours, refresh yourself Of these things to do in an emergency situation... This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, Your child...
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Hey its Sunday and Ralphy goes to Church...
by morles at 9/4/2011 2:13:45 PM
This morning after Mass the Priest called the three most Problem-ed Boys in his dioceses office ... Jose Martinez... Bubba Smith...and Raunchy Ralphy... He wanted to find out what kind of things thes...
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No School today so Ralphy is down at the Park...
by morles at 9/3/2011 8:07:16 AM
Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for yo...
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Its Friday and Ralphy gets out of School Early...
by morles at 9/2/2011 9:12:23 AM
Miss Rogers the teacher thought it would be fun and nice to give Lifesavers to her students and explains to them that red=cherry, yellow=lemon, green=lime, and orange=orange. Finally, she gave them al...
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another school day for Ralphy
by morles at 9/1/2011 1:36:43 PM
Miss Rogers the School Teacher ask her students to raise their hand if they have ever been to a wedding... Surprising only Susie and Ralphy raised their hands... Miss Roger ask Susie if she could de...
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OH-OH-OH ...Little Ralphy is doing Grammar today
by morles at 8/31/2011 10:24:47 AM
LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR Today, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responde...
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Anybody check Ralphy today he is in English Class
by morles at 8/30/2011 1:22:42 PM
Little RALPHY goes to school today and his first class of the day is English... The teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class.. Does anybody have an example of a multi-...
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Oh NO Ralphy got a F in MATH today
by morles at 8/29/2011 8:26:41 PM
Little RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. 'Why?' asks the father? 'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'' I said '6', replies RALPHY. 'But that's right!' says his ...
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Ralphy the thinker..
by morles at 8/28/2011 12:58:29 PM
A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?' She calls on little Ralphy. He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with t...
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Earth Quake in DC today
by morles at 8/24/2011 6:48:11 PM
President Obama has just confirmed that the DC earthquake occurred on a rare and obscure fault-line, apparently known as "Bush's Fault". · · Obama also announced that the Secret S...
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Journalist live among us..
by morles at 8/24/2011 3:24:56 PM
Well folks the OLD BULL is back from Oregon... Had a nice visit with my mother and her husband.. both in their 90's.. I thought I would get some of the Old Papers read... I will let you read some o...
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When to start Cussing....
by morles at 8/22/2011 12:06:25 PM
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started cussing."The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old c...
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Nation of Sheep Breed a Government of Wolves!
by morles at 8/21/2011 11:49:48 AM
Let’s Take a Stand!!!..2012 Obama: Gone! Borders: Closed! Budget: Balanced. Language: English only Culture: Constitution and the Bill of Rights! Drug Free: Mandatory Drug Screening before ...
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