Athens, GA

9/26/2012 9:42:27 AM
opjames53 Athens, GA 61, joined Jun. 2010	I consider myself an average looking guy. Some women are VERY attracted to me, and some not at all. And that's ok. Problem is some women won't be honest about it, and either make up a some lie or some lame excuse not to date me, either to make themselves feel better or to make me feel better. When being honest and saying "I'm not attracted to you" or "I don't think we have any chemistry" would be so much better. Honestly women, we can take it. Stop beating around the bush. What follows are two examples that have actually happened to me. 1. I had this good friend, and he introduced me to a friend of his, who was a beautiful woman. The woman was had been after my friend for some time, but he wanted no parts of it because he wasn't ready for a serious relationship, which is what she wanted. So, I met this woman. And a couple of days later, I sent her some flowers and asked her if she would like to go out sometime. I told her I would be at a certain restaurant at a certain time, and if she wanted to have dinner with me and start dating then be there at that time. But I also said, "If you do NOT want to go out with me, do NOT show up, and I will know I am barking up the wrong tree". So, I go to the restaurant and get a table, and order a glass of wine and wait. A few minutes later I see her coming through the door. I thought, great, she wants to have dinner with me. But then she sat down and for 45 minutes while explaining to me why she didn't want to date me, that her ex husband and her had decided to get back together, etc, etc. It gets worse my friends. Then I found out later from my friend that everything she had told me was a complete lie. That she had told him afterward that she was never getting back with her husband, and that I "just wasn't her type". So, in order to make HERSELF feel better, this woman ignored my instructions, and came to the restaurant just to lie to me for 45 minutes. I didn't want to be rude, so I just let her go on and on and meanwhile, I ordered a bunch of drinks and got drunk, so the night would not be a complete waste. (and I'm not much of a drinker). 2. I met a woman at a Starbucks in a mall one time, and we talked for about 30 minutes, and I thought we both enjoyed it. The next day I got an email from her that read as follows: "You seem like a nice guy, but you mentioned that you have a brother that is bipolar. I had a bad experience dating someone that was bipolar, and since it is genetic, I would not feel comfortable dating you". I wrote her back and said "What part of I am not bipolar don't you understand? Or is this just some lame excuse not to date me?" Women all say they want honesty in a man. But honesty is a two way street. Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
9/26/2012 10:20:46 AM	Athens, GA
billmahy Channelview, TX 47, joined Nov. 2011	First off you don't give instructions to a woman you are tring to date. That's a ginormous red flag and you will be pulling on your pud for the test of your life. Second the women you seem attracted to are trying to be nice to you and not getting you butt hurt. Come on man you tell a woman you will be at a certain place and time. But that if she is not interested in dating you don't show up? And when you ask out a woman don't say it likes its a bad thing.
9/26/2012 11:54:19 PM	Athens, GA
keyboardkat Oklahoma City, OK 40, joined Feb. 2011	I dunno,I kinda agree with OP. While its not smart to order around a woman you want to take on a date,he gave #1 the option of not showing up,yet she decided to lie to him and get a dinner by the sound of it. And #2 sounded loony. Just cause your brother is nuts doesn't make you nuts too.
9/27/2012 2:00:15 PM	Athens, GA
opjames53 Athens, GA 61, joined Jun. 2010	actually, she didn't have even have dinner. 1. I sent her a bunch of roses with a note, and gave her an easy out or an easy in if she wanted either. 2 all she had to do was not show up. 3. She can't "hurt my butt" with honestly, because I am secure enough and wise enough to know that different women see me in a different light. Like looking at a painting, beauty is entirely subjective, and for every woman that doesn't want to go out with me, there is one, somewhere, that does want to go out with me. Bottom line, just be honest, I'm a big boy, I can take it.
9/28/2012 9:04:16 PM	Athens, GA
keepslowprofile Moose Lake, MN 96, joined Nov. 2011	58 years of butt hurt. You should go to therapy.
9/28/2012 11:31:37 PM	Athens, GA
giggle_heehee New York, NY 37, joined Jul. 2012	Quote from keepslowprofile: 58 years of butt hurt. You should go to therapy. It didn't do much for you.
9/29/2012 10:26:37 AM	Athens, GA
justwntplay Omaha, NE 33, joined Jul. 2012	Be blunt always
9/29/2012 11:15:13 AM	Athens, GA
tcretiredhippie Durand, WI 57, joined Apr. 2012	They need a whine forum
9/29/2012 3:31:57 PM	Athens, GA
liveinjoy2 Salem, OR 63, joined Jun. 2012	Quote from tcretiredhippie: They need a whine forum That would be to cheesy
9/29/2012 4:28:11 PM	Athens, GA
caress_me_down Cumberland, MD 27, joined Sep. 2012	That's way too much for me read... i have time on my hands but not to read all that.... to answer the main question just say, "i'm sorry, I'm just not into you. Please leave me a lone. "
9/29/2012 5:56:12 PM	Athens, GA
thewumba Stephens City, VA 30, joined Sep. 2012	Quote from caress_me_down: That's way too much for me read... i have time on my hands but not to read all that.... to answer the main question just say, "i'm sorry, I'm just not into you. Please leave me a lone. "[/quot alone is one word, duh and Sublime sucks.
9/30/2012 11:03:34 PM	Athens, GA
starsandshadows Aurora, CO 31, joined Apr. 2009	It would have been more rude if she didn't show up to explain. Keeping you waiting and wondering after you went out of your way to ask her out somewhat romantically... well, if I'd been the woman, I would feel guilty, if not interested, to just ignore you. You should have not offered an out and simply asked if she would like to join you for dinner on that evening, letting her call to say no if she was so inclined.
10/1/2012 1:35:00 PM	Athens, GA
bettysbingbad Point, TX 50, joined Jul. 2012	Is there a possibility that woman #1was't lying to you but, maybe lied to your friend ,the one she really wanted?Maybe she was thinking of getting back together with her ex but,didn't want her top pick to know.Anyways,dwelling on this won't change anybody.Brush it off.
10/5/2012 10:12:52 PM	Athens, GA
mrgatorman Miami, FL 40, joined Sep. 2012
10/10/2012 8:35:27 PM	Athens, GA
zoozy31 Pittsburgh, PA 35, joined Apr. 2012	Seems like your choosing all the right women buddy!!!
10/10/2012 11:24:51 PM	Athens, GA
tjl2280 Brush Prairie, WA 35, joined Dec. 2009	59 and your not tired of women yet? Girl number one would have felt bad if she didn't show up, you laid it on thick by sending her flowers and telling her you would be all alone at a restaurant and asking her to join. It doesn't matter how they say it. No replying to your messages/phone calls after the first date = not interested, i'm getting back with my ex= not interested. All you need to know is they don't want to see you a second time, let them come up with any excuse they want as to why that makes them more comfortable in doing so. I'm the type of person who would never tell someone I'm not attracted to them because it's not a nice thing to say even if it's the truth. Saying that you didn't feel chemistry or you don't think we're a good match is better than that. It's something no one wants to hear and you would have to be a d*ck or pretty full of yourself to let someone down that way.
10/12/2012 9:55:37 AM	Athens, GA
drakenight Orange Park, FL 43, joined Jul. 2010	I haven't heard of giving a date the option of not showing up before... anyone else ever try that approach?
10/12/2012 11:01:14 AM	Athens, GA
leighannste17 Austin, TX 30, joined Aug. 2012	It sounds like this guy has alot of time on his hands. I'd probably be that rare b*tch that shows up and says, "Sorry i'm not attracted to you, but if you want I can buy you a drink for waiting here all this time for me." Then i'd leave.
10/12/2012 4:46:33 PM	Athens, GA
lorax5150 Fresno, CA 38, joined Oct. 2012	you need more self confidence bro of course shes not going to dig you right away they want to be pursued if you can keep chasing you get em you should be asking yourself if theyre worth it
10/13/2012 6:10:40 PM	Athens, GA
mrgatorman Miami, FL 40, joined Sep. 2012
10/14/2012 8:21:45 AM	Athens, GA
rondag Williamsburg, OH 51, joined Mar. 2009	A little honesty goes a long way here...I have been out on dates where I would tell the guy, and them me, that neither were attracted towards one another....Its such a time waster to do otherwise.
10/14/2012 9:13:59 PM	Athens, GA
enamel Warrenville, IL 58, joined Sep. 2012	The second one sounds like she just couldn't accept her own "BRUTAL" rejection of you so she rationalized it as best she could. But the first one- I totally see her rationale. You gave her a passive invitation to "Chase ME!" and she returned it with an equally passive "No Way!"
10/19/2012 8:39:32 PM	Athens, GA
mrgatorman Miami, FL 40, joined Sep. 2012

opjames53 - Athens, GA

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Athens, GA