Recently seperated...need advice 16

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6/22/2008 8:10:40 AM	Recently seperated...need advice
katie1218 Woburn, MA age: 44	Thank you Karen. I did know many who strayed from their spouse. I thought I couldn't handle it but I found the strength and didn't have much of a choice. I just kept telling myself that no matter how hard I think it is at home doing it alone, it is 100 times harder for him. After all, I got to hug the kids, see them laugh, lie in a comfortable bed, etc. It is so stressful and I wish he would get help. We used to share everything and now I don't even know who he is anymore
6/22/2008 10:01:48 AM	Recently seperated...need advice
selenah Taunton, MA age: 50	Quote from katie1218: Thank you Karen. I did know many who strayed from their spouse. I thought I couldn't handle it but I found the strength and didn't have much of a choice. I just kept telling myself that no matter how hard I think it is at home doing it alone, it is 100 times harder for him. After all, I got to hug the kids, see them laugh, lie in a comfortable bed, etc. It is so stressful and I wish he would get help. We used to share everything and now I don't even know who he is anymore Is there a Vet Center near you katie? I know of many of our vets that come to our hospital for medical cae , psychiatric care, and go to the vet center as well, but started at the vet center before coming to the VA. Maybe the vet center could be a first step . Of course he has to WANT the help that is the first and hardest step...coming out of denial. By everything you are saying, and though I am no psychiatrist, it sure sounds to me like he has several signs of PTSD. This must be so difficult for you. Off topic-- karen sorry you couldn't make it to the airpoprt yesterday it was alot of fun. The pilot I flew with is a vet too, and a super nice guy, the same one who took me up in April... They had 2- 2 seaters and 8 that seated 4 people flying yesterday...lotsa kiddos too ...they were lovin'it!! [Edited 6/22/2008 10:10:35 AM]
6/25/2008 1:13:04 PM	Recently seperated...need advice
rosielicious Baltimore, MD age: 42	Katie, sometimes a spouse does cheat, whether it is physical or emotional. If he wants to get back together, it is up to you to decide whether you can move forward from the cheating, and or will you always have a trust issue. I believe some do cheat only once.............it is the trust that plays a very tough roll in this. He did apologize, and maybe one day when he gets the help he needs, because he will, the two of you can talk about it. Look at the whole picture. I believe that there are men and women out there at no matter how great they have it are cheaters, and I also believe that people do make one time mistakes. 18 years is a long time............I lost my boyfriend to suicide almost four months ago, he even tried to kill me in the process. It is hard to move on and date. I have yet to date, I like meeting new friends and having people to talk to and hang out with. I have met several good friends here in Massachusetts. I am originally from Maryland. I know our situations are totally different, but either way, when you love someone, it is hard to move forward. Just make sure that you think long and hard and then decide what you want to do and go for it. I thank God everyday for our military men and women, who go through so much to protect us. God Bless Rose
6/26/2008 8:24:23 AM	Recently seperated...need advice
katie1218 Woburn, MA age: 44	Thank you Rose. My heart goes out to you. If you ever need to chat, please email me anytime. Your advice is wise. I haven't made a decision 100% yet. I guess I'll have to get to my breaking point and see how long I am willing to live my life in limbo. He needs to make the next move as far as getting help. I'm not really sure if he is truly sorry or just sory he got caught. You can't truly be sorry and then say "nothing happened - you're making a big deal out of nothing". I do see your point though, also. God Bless You - you have been through a lot. A real survivor! [Edited 6/26/2008 8:24:57 AM]
6/26/2008 12:39:24 PM	Recently seperated...need advice
shell677 Boston, MA age: 31	Good luck and may God bless you in whatever you choose to do. My opinion is after you both get professional counseling or individual try deep down in your heart to forgive him. Life is not perfect just as we humans arent perfect, let me tell you something my husband like to have female friends and flirt around but I respect him and he also respect me and my privacy. Sometime when two people are apart from each other they get lonely just something to think about. I am speaking from experience. Hope you find a support group or move on and pray to God for help if you believe in God and prayer. This topic can get spread out if you dont move on or forgive him just as God has forgiven us of our sins. Thank you very much for giveing me the time to voice my opinion.God is the answer.Do you go to church? do you have a network of support there? Like I said good luck and one love.