| 8/2/2008 9:52:12 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 37 online now!
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This is not a bash, just an article I came across that could potentially help some new to online dating or even veterans. Of course, this doesn't apply to all...
"14 Fatal Online Dating Errors That Single Women Make" By David Wygant
1. Stop posting four different photos from four different stages in your life. This leaves a man wondering, "Who is this person?" I've looked through thousands of online profiles, and the majority of women will put up pictures from different stages of their life but not put up current pictures. All photos that you post on an online dating profile MUST BE CURRENT!!! He's going to find out what you look like when you meet, and there is no reason to lie about your looks.
2. Don't list your dislikes about Internet dating in bold, capital letters at the beginning of your profile. We've all had negative experiences online. Emphasize your positive points, not your negative ones.
3. List your exact body type. It seems like on the Internet EVERYBODY is "athletic and toned,""petite" or "fit and trim." He will find out what you look like! You might as well
tell the truth in your profile, so you'll have a qualified lead and not waste somebody's time.
4. List your real age. In the world of Internet dating, it seems like there's an abundance of 29- and 39-year-old women. "29" usually means somewhere in your 30's. And a woman who is "39" is usually in her 40's. Why start a potential relationship on a lie? Men are guilty of the same thing, and I advise them the same way.
5. I'm really glad you had a great time on your vacation, but you don't need to post 10 photos of your trip to Italy WITHOUT you in them. This is a dating site, not a trip advisor. Also, stop posting pictures of you skydiving, winter skiing, waterskiing, or doing anything else where we can't see what you look like in the picture.
6. Keep your profile short and to the point. Make your paragraphs very short. I've seen too many women's profiles that look like romance novels.
7. Don't be so self-absorbed. I've seen many women's profiles that say, "I want a man to be this," "I want a man to do that," "I want a man to cherish me," "I want a man to adore me"... You list all your "I wants" without listing what YOU will bring to the relationship. So you end up looking like you're a taker and not a giver. No man wants to be with a taker; he wants to be with someone who's equally willing to give and to receive.
8. Don't list your financial desires like you're posting a want ad. I've seen too many women write, "I'm looking for a man who will spoil me, buy me great things, and take me on great trips." You come across as a gold digger. Instead say, "I like the finer things in life to share with somebody," so you don't come across so harsh.
9. No baby talk! Even if the number one priority in your life is to be a mother, nothing scares a man off more than if you write in your profile about how badly you want kids. He may feel the same way, but he is going to think, "This woman will marry anybody to have kids." Write something a little more toned down like, "Families are important to me, and I can't wait to meet my special man so I can start a family." This shows you're selective and not just looking for someone with whom to make a kid.
10. Stop listing all your rules. Don't write things like "A perfect first date MUST be dinner" or "The man I date HAS to wear suits." Women tend to list rules in their profiles. Be open to a different kind of first date, or the kind of guy who wears jeans to work.
11. Stop sending winks. When is the last time you went to the supermarket, saw a cute guy and winked at him? Winks went out of style when "Happy Days" went off the air. You don't like it when men send you a wink. You think it makes him seem lazy and like he didn't read your profile. We think the same thing! So stop winking and start typing.
12. If you write to a man and he doesn't write you back, don't write a nasty follow-up email and ask him why he didn't write you back. If a man doesn't respond to you, it's the same thing as when you don't write a man back. It means that he is not interested. Don't get angry, just find another person.
13. We know you're looking at us, because we see that you've viewed our profile every day. Say "hello!" We're not going to bite. Lob that email in. Take a chance and send an email to the guy to whom you're most attracted. You never know what might happen!
14. If a guy who you're interested in writes to you, stop playing games and write him back right away. Don't make him wait four days. He may find someone else in the time you wait to write him back. Keep the momentum going!
I have found when online dating that if you're honest about who you are, and you get back to people immediately, you'll get the date faster and avoid all the back and forth games that go on. Now go change that profile!
[Edited 8/2/2008 9:58:37 PM ]
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| 8/2/2008 10:01:47 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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looking196344
North Sioux City, SD
age: 47
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| 8/2/2008 10:03:44 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 37 online now!
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thanks 
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| 8/2/2008 10:11:24 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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mistymay77
Newnan, GA
age: 33
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Best Man, men do these things as well. I have pics from mid December and actually just posted some new pics tonight but they have not been approved yet. I put average as my body type because that is what it is. 
[Edited 8/2/2008 10:12:43 PM ]
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| 8/2/2008 10:16:07 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 37 online now!
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Best Man, men do these things as well. I have pics from mid December and actually just posted some new pics tonight but they have not been approved yet. I put average as my body type because that is what it is.
Little touchy aren't we? Why so touchy? Did this post hit a slight nerve? If none of the listed examples apply to you, then you shouldn't be rattled. If one or more apply... Obviously, this post wasn't directed at any particular woman.
I think you should read the preview of the post again before the actual listing of numbers. Not that I need to explain myself, but you will clearly see that I posted one for men and women in this section as I don't bash genders. What can be said, can basically said for the other with some differences of course. This is basically an advisory post - thus advising those who wish to read this post, some errors that some women make online. Don't get it confused.
[Edited 8/2/2008 10:25:58 PM ]
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| 8/2/2008 10:28:07 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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catwolf62
Albuquerque, NM
age: 48
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I really enjoyed your blurb & found it helpful to read both mistakes the women make & men make!
Very well written. Good for you!!
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| 8/2/2008 10:39:30 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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judit0606
Big Stone Gap, VA
age: 53
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Yep, spot on! EXCEPT for the winks...I LIKE WINKS!!! SO, yes I admit, I'm old fashioned...some of the young people do too, though!
BUT, winks~~make~~~my~~boat~~float, oh yes they do! 
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| 8/2/2008 10:44:30 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 37 online now!
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| 8/2/2008 10:47:55 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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mindyb
Park Rapids, MN
age: 46
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Whew! Cleared!!
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| 8/2/2008 10:59:48 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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lillibet
New South Wales
Australia
age: 53
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uh oh Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm well firstly my pics are only few days old and few weeks old at the most.....I am very petite at only 5ft 1 inch and small body.Even my feet are dainty.My age is my fairdunkum age you can check me out any time ...Winks well I love winks and no they didnt go out of style and yes men and women still wink .....Rules what rules????I dont write to a man first thats a mans job...I'm not perving on any mens profiles either....And lastly I dont play games but by gee I have had some played with me and I am about to get real.....Anything else sir?????
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| 8/2/2008 11:01:04 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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mistymay77
Newnan, GA
age: 33
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Best Man, men do these things as well. I have pics from mid December and actually just posted some new pics tonight but they have not been approved yet. I put average as my body type because that is what it is.
Little touchy aren't we? Why so touchy? Did this post hit a slight nerve? If none of the listed examples apply to you, then you shouldn't be rattled. If one or more apply... Obviously, this post wasn't directed at any particular woman.
I think you should read the preview of the post again before the actual listing of numbers. Not that I need to explain myself, but you will clearly see that I posted one for men and women in this section as I don't bash genders. What can be said, can basically said for the other with some differences of course. This is basically an advisory post - thus advising those who wish to read this post, some errors that some women make online. Don't get it confused.
I did see your other after I posted my comment. They do not apply to me I was just commenting.
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| 8/2/2008 11:03:08 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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rig216
Red Deer, AB
age: 48
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Thanks bestman, acting on your recommendations, I've just email a woman who visited my profile, and I will be patiently waiting for her response. Good thread for both men and women on DH. To all members, this is a new beginning, lets do it right.
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| 8/2/2008 11:04:12 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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keykeper34
Boise, ID
age: 56
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My pics are current. Sometimes only a week old. Enjoyed reading the article.
Some of us work full time and don't get on here to check DH every day.
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| 8/2/2008 11:04:14 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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lillibet
New South Wales
Australia
age: 53
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Look out rig I'm gonna kick your a**  
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| 8/2/2008 11:12:26 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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dolcevox
Allenhurst, NJ
age: 54
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I agree w/ jdi0606
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| 8/2/2008 11:15:28 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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ffflllaaagal
New Port Richey, FL
age: 57
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i have seen these mistakes on almost all men and woman. thank you for bringing it to the surface. have to go check my own profile now.
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| 8/2/2008 11:41:50 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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ironmuscle
Santa Cruz, CA
age: 34
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This post is hilarious!! Great Job!!
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| 8/2/2008 11:51:36 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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judit0606
Big Stone Gap, VA
age: 53
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I agree w/ jdi0606
Awwww~~~just for that, I'm sending a wink your way!
Thanks for the wink,  thebestman! Love your forums. My answer still stands...
[Edited 8/3/2008 12:03:36 AM ]
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| 8/2/2008 11:57:25 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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anewdawn36
Charlotte, NC
age: 39
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AWESOME POST THE BESTMAN!!!!
This is a post that should cause us to do some self reflection if we are serious about truly finding our potential mate on DH or else where!!!!  There has been alot of repeated threads on DH that may or may not have taken many of us off course lately and some of us may have found ourselves asking the question of "WHY" we are really here???? Is it truly to date or meet our soulmates, one night stands OR what ever we are orginally here for???
Although, I receive ALOT of winks and emails in reference to my profile, my pics are ALL up to date reflecting this year and last year ONLY --- I am one who truly wants to meet the man for me SO, after reading this thread, I found myself reviewing and updating my profile so that when "HE" finds me -- there will be nothing geting in OUR way of connecting with one another--sparks will "FLY", and the chemistry will be on "HIGH"... between "ME" and my "MAN"..
 
IMO...I believe we should always be willing to CHANGE/ACCEPT what is needed to enhance our LIVES for the BEST...and "WHAT IS ALREADY WORKING" we focus on keeping the same...
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| 8/3/2008 12:14:53 AM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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gritziam
Shallotte, NC
age: 36
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well i cant no more honest on my profile,but i suppose i should up date some photos.
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| 8/3/2008 8:09:54 AM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 37 online now!
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wow thebestman! i thought you wrote that at first. i almost shed a tear at the beauty of that article...lol
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| 8/3/2008 8:36:44 AM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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zalacea
Stoughton, MA
age: 44
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Excellent article Bestman. What an ideal cyber world it would be if all followed these guidelines.
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| 8/3/2008 8:44:02 AM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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missmmeoftheday
Brooklyn, NY
age: 45
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I just checked my profile, bestman.... thanks for the post.
so now I'm just waiting for the flood of emails from potential suitors.... 
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| 8/3/2008 8:49:12 AM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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indigorose33
Rapid City, SD
age: 50
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12. If you write to a man and he doesn't write you back, don't write a nasty follow-up email and ask him why he didn't write you back. If a man doesn't respond to you, it's the same thing as when you don't write a man back. It means that he is not interested. Don't get angry, just find another person.
You know I believe that this is more of a mans thing.
And what is this not lying about your age bull puckey? Ha!!!!
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| 8/3/2008 8:53:00 AM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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silkpanties53
Baytown, TX
age: 55
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| 8/3/2008 9:18:48 AM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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challengingmind
Everett, WA
age: 35
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What about the mistakes men make?
1)Quit sending winks and say hi.
2) Take off the sunglasses in the pick. We want to see your gorgeous eyes
3) Show yourself in every day wear.We want to be knocked off our feet when you dress up
4) Don't leave a girl hanging...when we contact you back, let us know that your interested or not.
5) Quit being so darn guarded. We are not going to talk with you if you think we will act like your ex.
6) Talk in the forums and communities....it let's you see the personality behind the pic and it makes you laugh and enjoy meeting people
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| 8/3/2008 10:13:53 AM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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katrinasq
Mena, AR
age: 41
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But I really am 39...Now what? I will be 40 in February, if that helps. I hope my profile is accurate! I only WISH I was athletic and toned so I wouldn't have to admit being a BBW, too.
Great post, as always Bestman  Why are you still single??!!
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| 8/3/2008 10:35:53 AM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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florida_gardens
North Port, FL
age: 58
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So now at least we know you're also on Yahoo personals. *wink*
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| 8/3/2008 10:38:28 AM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 37 online now!
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So now at least we know you're also on Yahoo personals. *wink*
You have come to the wrong assumption and conclusion. I am not on yahoo personals.
Oh how wrong you are... If you go onto yahoo's home page, you too, would be intrigued by the many different articles and current news yahoo dot com posts
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| 8/3/2008 10:40:30 AM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 37 online now!
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What about the mistakes men make?
1)Quit sending winks and say hi.
2) Take off the sunglasses in the pick. We want to see your gorgeous eyes
3) Show yourself in every day wear.We want to be knocked off our feet when you dress up
4) Don't leave a girl hanging...when we contact you back, let us know that your interested or not.
5) Quit being so darn guarded. We are not going to talk with you if you think we will act like your ex.
6) Talk in the forums and communities....it let's you see the personality behind the pic and it makes you laugh and enjoy meeting people
It amazes me.... defensive are we? I wonder why? Some people take these informational/advisory posts a little bit too personal. 
You will see that I posted one for men and women...
[Edited 8/3/2008 10:55:04 AM ]
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| 8/4/2008 10:22:43 AM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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indigorose33
Rapid City, SD
age: 50
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Number 15 very important!!!
If you are the OP of a thread... don't take the fact... that some will take your post personal...personally!
Everybody has a pucker button. If you only like the people that agree with you ..then you will be missing a chance to grow.
[Edited 8/4/2008 10:23:19 AM ]
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| 8/4/2008 10:34:52 AM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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usakindatheart
Overton, TX
age: 49
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Number 15 very important!!!
If you are the OP of a thread... don't take the fact... that some will take your post personal...personally!
Everybody has a pucker button. If you only like the people that agree with you ..then you will be missing a chance to grow.
that is true... and if a woman does not agree with you 100% bestman it doesn't mean she is wrong, it just means she has a diffrent opinion.
have a lovely day. and perhaps you could take on your own advice when it comes to posting in bold... hmmmmmm.
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| 8/4/2008 6:59:46 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 37 online now!
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Number 15 very important!!!
If you are the OP of a thread... don't take the fact... that some will take your post personal...personally!
Everybody has a pucker button. If you only like the people that agree with you ..then you will be missing a chance to grow.
Number 15 very important!!!
If you are the OP of a thread... don't take the fact... that some will take your post personal...personally!
Everybody has a pucker button. If you only like the people that agree with you ..then you will be missing a chance to grow.
that is true... and if a woman does not agree with you 100% bestman it doesn't mean she is wrong, it just means she has a diffrent opinion.
have a lovely day. and perhaps you could take on your own advice when it comes to posting in bold... hmmmmmm.
I definitely don't mind a difference of opinion. People can agree, disagree, and express a variety of opinions. Opinions can vary widely and can be wrong, right, or indifferent. How people choose to respond is ultimately their decision and it will reflect some insight about them as well.
Different concept similar principle - just like the type of bashing posts and other posts that are posted as well. People are entitled to express their thoughts etc. as long as it fits in the guidelines. We have good posts, stupid posts, silly posts, and irrelevant posts. Does that make them right? Well, that's to each's own. 
As you saw from my previous comment that I was amused shown by the laughing smilies, and shaking head smilies due to the fact that it was being defensive mode. I simply expressed my opinion about her comments without getting bent out of shape. Some things you can learn from and some things you can't depending on the nature of the response. And just because a person may rebuttle, become s defensive, express an opinion, doesn't necessarily make it rhetoric that I can learn from. As the OP and or others, can take certain comments how they wish and whatever they say can be evaluated as such by other members.
[Edited 8/4/2008 7:04:07 PM ]
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| 8/4/2008 7:06:03 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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tater79
Springfield, IL
age: 31
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Hey B man you know I agree with it..
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| 8/4/2008 7:12:34 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 37 online now!
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Hey B man you know I agree with it..
Wussup Tater!
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| 8/4/2008 8:42:59 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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clubkid66
Brooklyn, NY
age: 44
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You have done it again. You said good points and without anger. Now only if they will read and act.
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| 8/4/2008 9:02:00 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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awakeing
Walled Lake, MI
age: 38
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I feel Thebestman is a real asset to this community because he really enjoys
helping people grow. I for one am grateful for his time and thoughtfulness.
OK,OK, so I admit I only love him for his mind, other wise I don't think
he would still be single.
(Just kidding with ya B man I'm too far away to really seduce you)
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| 8/4/2008 9:03:10 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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xlibra75x
Gateway, AR
age: 35
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Hmmm.....curious now.
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| 8/5/2008 10:44:51 AM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 37 online now!
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Thebestman's Internet Dating Profile Review Service
Okay, come on now! Hit me with your best shot!
:: wink ::
I feel Thebestman is a real asset to this community because he really enjoys
helping people grow. I for one am grateful for his time and thoughtfulness.
OK,OK, so I admit I only love him for his mind, other wise I don't think
he would still be single.
(Just kidding with ya B man I'm too far away to really seduce you)
[Edited 8/5/2008 10:45:35 AM ]
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| 8/5/2008 2:54:43 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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snowflowers
Ft Mitchell, KY
age: 45
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10 online mistakes men make:
1-Talking dirty/vulgarities in messages
talking dirty isnt going to make you sound sexy,nor adding vulgarities into your
messages make you sound manly
2-Over self-centered
Its suppose to be a session for the two to learn more about each other,dont just
talking about your own interests,it might not interest her.
3-Not talking enough
Learn to blend into the conversation,on line or phone.If youre not talking enough or simply just answering "yes" or "no" then it can be quiet boring.
4-Asking the wrong stuff
It should turn the other party off quiet bad if you ask for a photo too soon during your conversation.If she does not include a profile photo,dont jump into the conversation
and start asking for one.
5-Forgetting about her
If you chatter with her,make sure you remember her because she mostly remember you.
If you forgot about her and starts asking back the same old question you did during your
previous conversations you will lose a great deal of points
6-Ex girlfriends
In general rules is,if she never ask about your past relationships,you might want to
avoid talking about it.Some girls wont want to know.
7-Timming
Timming is everything.If you ask the wrong question at the wrong time,youre giving the wrong idea.
8-Sharring attention
You might start off chatting with many girls on line at the same time,you might put too
much delay on her conversation
9-Asking her to be your girlfriend
Theres nothing wrong about asking her to be your girlfriend,but be really patient about
this.Theres no rules as to when you should pop this question.Its really depends on your
progress.But if you try to rush,then you will likely be made to wait longer
10-Pestering
Giving you her handphone number doesnt mean you should keep calling or SMsing her
unnecesarity.Do it appropriately and if she does not reply,you should probably stop
for the moment.
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| 8/5/2008 3:21:11 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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stylistic
Rockville, MD
age: 58
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Bestman that list of mistakes is well put.
It applies to everyone not just women.However,I cant tell you how many times I have responded to emails that were sent to me, only to have to explain to that person they ignored the fact that I don't wish to be involved with someone with children under 18. I don't think anyone wants to be in a position to email someone a negative response and I feel badly If I just ignore them but then I get back an email that I am closed minded, so I have to say I think we all get some of the negative c**p from time to time.
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| 8/6/2008 9:03:03 AM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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libbie
Tulsa, OK
age: 68
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Thank you. This was an excellent post. I am 66 years young, have found some great friends on here. And this post is very helpful. Again, thank you.
Libby
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| 8/6/2008 9:08:23 AM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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beanz991
Houston, TX
age: 43
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#1 Don't use online dating.
#2 See above.
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| 8/6/2008 9:46:10 AM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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immabluefish
Orlando, FL
age: 46
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As always a good post!
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| 8/6/2008 6:19:10 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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mlk2008
Brimfield, MA
age: 91
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11. Stop sending winks. When is the last time you went to the supermarket, saw a cute guy and winked at him? Winks went out of style when "Happy Days" went off the air. You don't like it when men send you a wink. You think it makes him seem lazy and like he didn't read your profile. We think the same thing! So stop winking and start typing.
That's right ladies, y'all gotta send messages out too.
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| 8/6/2008 6:20:13 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 37 online now!
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As always a good post!
thank you blue
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| 8/6/2008 6:21:30 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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mlk2008
Brimfield, MA
age: 91
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14. If a guy who you're interested in writes to you, stop playing games and write him back right away. Don't make him wait four days. He may find someone else in the time you wait to write him back. Keep the momentum going!
I have found when online dating that if you're honest about who you are, and you get back to people immediately, you'll get the date faster and avoid all the back and forth games that go on. Now go change that profile!
That's right. Don't make him wait, he's is going to respond to the first person that says yes to him.
[Edited 8/6/2008 6:22:44 PM ]
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| 8/6/2008 6:24:04 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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mlk2008
Brimfield, MA
age: 91
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Bestman, forgot to mention, this is a good post. I don't believe it was bashing. But you had to make it clear so that some people don't get the wrong impression.
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| 8/6/2008 6:40:10 PM |
14 Online Dating Mistakes Women Make |
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sassycntrygirl
Jonesboro, AR
age: 26
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1. All photos are current, only 2 weeks old. My main pic is about a month old, the rest are much newer.
2. The only thing I don't like about internet dating is its been about as successful for me as regular dating...
3. I'm average. Besides, they had no option for "average w/ a country booty"...lol
4. 23 years old... at least according to my birth certificate. I'll be 24 in a month
5. Never taken a vaca...lol
6. Each time I do a profile it may be longer or shorter, depending on my mood when I write it. Like, right now I'm upbeat and happy so I'm taking the time to write stuff...
7. I've never met a woman who was more self absorbed than her male counterpart. Men have the monopoly in that area...
8. My only financial desire is that you have some finances of some kind. Be employed.
9. I'll never be hesitant to say I want kids more than I want air, I refuse to settle for anyone who wouldn't stick around though. Anyone strong enough to be my man will appreciate my straightforwardness.
10.My only rule is to have some respect...
11. They don't have a "bat eyelashes coyly" on here, so winks will have to do...
12. Same applies to men. I could care less, though its annoying and rude.
13. I look once unless they're a friend I talk to. I'm way too blunt for anyone to have to worry if I'm interested or not. Unless I just happened to forget your stats or where you're from, I'm only lookin once..
14. Again, too forward for all that game shit... Men are the ones who try to play games with me.
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