| 8/21/2008 12:16:51 AM |
This one's for the guys |
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true4me
Bellevue, WA
age: 46
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Okay, if you are seeing someone and really just considered to be friends, how would you go about saying it is your turn (meaning me) to pick up the check for dinner, etc. without hurting his ego? Should I just let it go? I don't think it is right for him to pay all the time for everything if we are not an item. How would I go about this in a proper way? Even going Dutch sometimes I wouldn't mind. Does anyone have any suggestions. Please be serious!
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| 8/21/2008 12:41:15 AM |
This one's for the guys |
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th6231
Point Pleasant Beach, NJ
age: 60
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May I please get the check?? NO ?? OK--thank you for dinner. Smile.
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| 8/21/2008 1:00:28 AM |
This one's for the guys |
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tarotdream
Ventura, CA
age: 53 online now!
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My turn to buy.
Don't hint or indicate or lead up to or set the table or . . . . he's a guy, anything but direct won't make a dent.
If he insists, say thank you.
Also wonder if HE thinks it's "just friends".
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| 8/21/2008 1:06:02 AM |
This one's for the guys |
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true4me
Bellevue, WA
age: 46
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My turn to buy.
Don't hint or indicate or lead up to or set the table or . . . . he's a guy, anything but direct won't make a dent.
If he insists, say thank you.
Also wonder if HE thinks it's "just friends".
Of course he thinks its' "just friends". Not a good time for either of us. Especially him, to be in a relationship.
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| 8/21/2008 1:15:51 AM |
This one's for the guys |
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tarotdream
Ventura, CA
age: 53 online now!
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"Of course" has been the opening words of many a disastrous situation.
What has he SAID, preferably directly.
If your "of course" is based on a conversation with him, great. If it's based on your thinking "both of us are in a bad place", not so good. If it's "well, of course it is, I don't feel that way about him and would never encourage him, he knows that" you're deciding what his interpretation of the situation is. Men do not think like women.
If you abelong to that section of the human race outside of locked facilities you've at least once gotten into a sticky situation assuming what you believed was what everybody believed. You go on a trip with someone thinking "If we're lucky our motel rooms will be next to each other" while they're thinking, "Wahoo! Yes! Yesyesyesyesyes! This is gonna be great! I hope three dozen condoms will be enough!"
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| 8/21/2008 1:19:39 AM |
This one's for the guys |
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true4me
Bellevue, WA
age: 46
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"Of course" has been the opening words of many a disastrous situation.
What has he SAID, preferably directly.
If your "of course" is based on a conversation with him, great. If it's based on your thinking "both of us are in a bad place", not so good. If it's "well, of course it is, I don't feel that way about him and would never encourage him, he knows that" you're deciding what his interpretation of the situation is. Men do not think like women.
If you abelong to that section of the human race outside of locked facilities you've at least once gotten into a sticky situation assuming what you believed was what everybody believed. You go on a trip with someone thinking "If we're lucky our motel rooms will be next to each other" while they're thinking, "Wahoo! Yes! Yesyesyesyesyes! This is gonna be great! I hope three dozen condoms will be enough!"
No, We've had discussion face to face as adults. And discussion was specific about intentions.
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| 8/21/2008 1:52:15 AM |
This one's for the guys |
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bullsnit
Oneida, KY
age: 33
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I think some ppl anylize things way too much. It should be nothing less than common courtesy.He may wanna hold on to his "man" status. But by doin it,he should realize he's making you look and/or feel like a moocher.If y'all plan on goin out again, insist it's your treat. If either gender propositions me to a treat dinner, I see it as only a friendly gesture to say "thank you" for something i've done for them.
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| 8/21/2008 2:22:48 AM |
This one's for the guys |
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spider_man5
Westfield, MA
age: 43
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Just tell him you would go out if it was dutch treat and u pay for yours and he pays for his end of story no drama...... 
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| 8/21/2008 2:29:47 AM |
This one's for the guys |
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th6231
Point Pleasant Beach, NJ
age: 60
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Don't make a federal case out of it--ask for the check and pay or accept the free meal with a smile and a thank you. friends or lovers--you can attempt to pay but a real man will usually prefer to pay for the meals he enjoys with a woman. Offer to leave the tip.
[Edited 8/21/2008 2:30:12 AM]
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| 8/21/2008 2:36:11 AM |
This one's for the guys |
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phil5152
Harpers Ferry, WV
age: 24
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I think I do it just to be polite..I know some women don't want a man to do everything or pay for everything, but Ive been raised around men who've done it and Ive done it for so long. I think its just a gentlemen thing to do.. If a woman doesnt like it, I do try to swallow my pride and let her pay but its still hard.
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| 8/21/2008 2:37:55 AM |
This one's for the guys |
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true4me
Bellevue, WA
age: 46
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Don't make a federal case out of it--ask for the check and pay or accept the free meal with a smile and a thank you. friends or lovers--you can attempt to pay but a real man will usually prefer to pay for the meals he enjoys with a woman. Offer to leave the tip.
I don't make any drama out of this. In fact he has no idea I have been thinking of this. This is the thing and men probably don't realize and probably alot of women don't do this but when I order something, I look at the prices and will order the cheapest thing on the menu or close to it. If I am paying then it won't bother me. My ex boyfriend did notice this and that is why he took me on several trips and paid for everything but I had issues with that as well.
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| 8/21/2008 2:39:58 AM |
This one's for the guys |
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true4me
Bellevue, WA
age: 46
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I think I do it just to be polite..I know some women don't want a man to do everything or pay for everything, but Ive been raised around men who've done it and Ive done it for so long. I think its just a gentlemen thing to do.. If a woman doesnt like it, I do try to swallow my pride and let her pay but its still hard.
It's not that we don't like it. But why should you have to pay if we aren't going together as a couple dating. It gets expensive for the guy and I can understand that.
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| 8/21/2008 3:30:10 AM |
This one's for the guys |
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th6231
Point Pleasant Beach, NJ
age: 60
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It is the individual mindset of the man--as an individual. Good grief--its just food. If you really want to pay--excuse yourself to go the the restroom--find the waitor and insist he bring the check TO YOU and not to the gentleman. No one here can offer an answer to this question. It is a meal, not a promisory note for an agreement on anything binding. Hurt ego over buying a meal?? i don't think it will bruise the ego of a man if you offer to buy him a meal. How could any MAN be that fragile??
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| 8/21/2008 3:47:47 AM |
This one's for the guys |
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elias0311
Riverside, CA
age: 21
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y dont u talk to him about it??? instead of asking all these other people just ask hey buddy you know i think this... idk if you all are friends then whats gonna be hurtfull about it??? I mean a good relationship should start of with honosty... idk just my opinion...
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| 8/21/2008 3:58:16 AM |
This one's for the guys |
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th6231
Point Pleasant Beach, NJ
age: 60
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Some how some one is doing the inviting for these meals---these are not chance meetings at a restaurant. Make the offer with a smile and a lighthearted attitude--let me pay---I would like to buy this time. The answer is all on him--the man. And he should answer in a lighthearted manner as well. When you go out to eat---ORDER WHAT YOU WANT--Never pick from the cheapest--unless it is what you truly want to dine on. Sit up--order exactly what you want--enjoy the company--enjoy the meal--allow the man to pay if that is the arrangement. using style and mature grace--get up and thank the man for the meal. If you are allowed to pay---thank him for his company and confidently walk out and continue your day. I think we are all a little too old amd mature to have such a hard time with this. This gentleman certainly enjoys your company--I would not risk losing the friend that he is. Good luck to you
[Edited 8/21/2008 4:00:45 AM]
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