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Forums: Relationships: Divorce Syndrome
10/3/2008 2:49:35 PM Divorce Syndrome  

wildman1969
Ada, OK
age: 39

 I'm new around here but have relearned a lot by reading your thoughts. So I have something to share with you all that answered a few questions I had about my divorce. I had no idea how someone could go from love to hate in such a short time. My knee jerk reaction was to hate right back but I wanted to try to figure out why things happened like they did. Then I found this article in a magazine someone at work loaned me. After reading this I stopped being a hater and have started trying to understand. We are friends now and it's a lot better for everyone involved.

http://www.bestlifeonline.com/cms/publish/sex-relationships/Sudden_Divorce_Syndrome.shtml
10/3/2008 7:36:14 PM Divorce Syndrome  

jasmi
Latrobe, PA
age: 51

 A very interesting article, thanks for sharing it!
10/3/2008 8:40:52 PM Divorce Syndrome  

ccherie
Salem, OR
age: 54 online now!

 That was a very good article... This syndrome affects both men and women. Every situation is different.. but the pain is the same. Usually one party leaves because they have found someone else.... and this is like rubbing salt into a wound for the one struggling to accept what has happened.
I was drawn to the information about the health consequences...and the impact of physical touch. Personally, this sheds light on why it has been so very hard for me... I am deaf, touch is a huge emotional and social need of mine. Lack of touch increases my isolation, and erodes my self esteem. It impacts my health. My family and friends don't understand why it is taking me so long to heal.
And then the part about the stage in life this happens...Oh boy!! that and my deafness gives me all the chance of a snowball in hell. Not feeling sorry for myself by any means... its just the way it is.
10/3/2008 9:08:32 PM Divorce Syndrome  

lillibet
New South Wales
Australia
age: 51

 hi cherie aw I will send a hug across the seas to you close your eyes and i will be right there...I know how you feel I have been deprived of touch and as such I crave it loving gentle touch....I didnt hate after divorece i just applied for it got it and that was it for me...All I wanted was my freedom and a chance to begin anew...No hatred at all just neutral.....
10/3/2008 10:47:28 PM Divorce Syndrome  

ccherie
Salem, OR
age: 54 online now!
Quote from lillibet:
hi cherie aw I will send a hug across the seas to you close your eyes and i will be right there...I know how you feel I have been deprived of touch and as such I crave it loving gentle touch....I didnt hate after divorece i just applied for it got it and that was it for me...All I wanted was my freedom and a chance to begin anew...No hatred at all just neutral.....



Hi Lilly... Thanks for the Hug I am glad that you had peace with your Divorce. I don't think this thread is about hate...it is about extreme loss by those who don't have a choice. I don't think I ever hated my ex... but I have no respect for him.
10/4/2008 5:42:44 AM Divorce Syndrome  

sharolas
Elk Grove Village, IL
age: 38 online now!

 very touching article. I don't think anyone could have seen that coming.
10/4/2008 6:48:02 AM Divorce Syndrome  

msbevzie
Oregon, OH
age: 45

 Awesome article thanks for posting that. Glad you could overcome the hater part, it always makes it much easier for others that are also in the mix especially if there are kids. I have never been a hater no matter what happens, and still friends with the EX makes life so much more bearable for me anyways. Ya know I cannot relate to alot of women, or men that like to burn the other person so badly that they cannot barely have a life of their own.
10/4/2008 7:23:01 AM Divorce Syndrome  

dprincess
Concord, NC
age: 45

 Great article.
of course while reading the article, I am thinking what a freaking biotch.
I think when someone is trapped in a marriage and is trying to find a way out, the misery can make what once was love turn into a bitter hate. Sad for the children that so many adults can't handle their emotions and lives better.
However, we can not move on until we can forgive the ex.
So thanks for the article.
This man is so much better off without the biotch in his life, I just hope the kids were not damaged.
10/4/2008 7:29:47 AM Divorce Syndrome  

wisegirl33
Queensland
Australia
age: 44

 So glad that I have never been married.

The "hater" in the relationship usually has psychopathic tendencies and is highy dangerous.

wisegirl33 - 5 Oct 08 at 0033am Aest
10/4/2008 1:25:00 PM Divorce Syndrome  
usakindatheart
Overton, TX
age: 48

 okay, he got a raw deal
but... he should not of dedicated all those years to work,
you have to spend some time with your lady
about the kids.. she is in total wrong
she should of gotten 1/2 the business, but also put money
back into the business so it could prosper, kill the golden goose is what she did

now the part of waa waaa waaaaa , men have less then women after divorce
and have less chance of recouping their financial losses... is bull

most women do not have what she did, a family business.

most women have a husband who works and makes good money
and she works and makes okay money.

when a women divorces, in texas, child support rarely pays for all the necessities of their lives, and /or extras.. like taxes, little league, those special athletic shoes, money for lunches and eating out when out on that big game at school, that money can add up.

also a women rarely can afford the basic bills of the house she was living in , and has to sale or move to a smaller house.

in divorce usually the women gets the tangible assets. and the man gets half of those assets in money... she gets a used table, he gets half the money for that table..

men do not usually suffer financially after divorce, and as they go on the prowl after, they usually can find sexual comfort from all the willing ladies out there.

sorry... i just do not feel sorry about a man's financial hardship after divorce.
most make out just fine... (always exceptions)
10/4/2008 2:28:48 PM Divorce Syndrome  

forumfun
Seattle, WA
age: 47 online now!

 OP, I can't help but ask: how did you learn to read thoughts? Teach that and you will make many relationships better.



[Edited 10/4/2008 2:40:32 PM]
10/4/2008 5:14:57 PM Divorce Syndrome  

foxy_woman_49
Omaha, NE
age: 50

 I have to agree with cc in her comment..

but I have no respect for him.


No respect what so ever for my x
10/5/2008 6:27:28 AM Divorce Syndrome  

jewels2500
Unicoi, TN
age: 33 online now!
Quote from ccherie:
Lack of touch increases my isolation, and erodes my self esteem. It impacts my health. My family and friends don't understand why it is taking me so long to heal.



I had just spoken to someone about this yesterday. Touch is so powerful. Babies dies from not being touched, the elderly in nursing homes, or those who are fighting major illnesses lose their will to live; the rest of us can end up in a deep hole of depression that's hard to get out of. It really is sad.