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| 10/10/2008 4:47:25 AM |
And That's When the Fight Started |
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liatris
Fairfield, CT
age: 43 online now!
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The local news station was interviewing an 84-year-old lady because she had just gotten married -- for the fourth time.
The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 84, and then about her new husband's occupation.
"He's a funeral director," she answered.
"Interesting," the newsman thought.
He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.
She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a preacher when in her 60's, and now, in her 80's, a funeral director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
"Easy, son," she smiled. "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go!"
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| 10/10/2008 5:23:35 AM |
And That's When the Fight Started |
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kinfirerain
Waterbury, CT
age: 44
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A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. The man went back to his reading.
A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more. Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking ever more than before.
Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, 'I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you ok?'
'I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm.'
The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. ' I have never heard of that condition before' he said. ' Are you taking anything for it?'
'Yes,' the woman nodded. 'Pepper.'
 
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| 10/11/2008 10:04:11 AM |
And That's When the Fight Started |
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liatris
Fairfield, CT
age: 43 online now!
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Poor Old Man
An old man is sitting on a park bench crying. A young man is walking by and asks him why he's crying. The old man says, "I'm retired and I have lots of money, a huge luxury apartment, a beautiful 25 year old wife who loves me and has sex with me twice a day"
The young man says, "Well then why the hell are you crying!?"
The old man replies, "I can't remember where I live!"
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| 10/13/2008 5:09:34 AM |
And That's When the Fight Started |
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liatris
Fairfield, CT
age: 43 online now!
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A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he's doing.
"I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine's Day cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer."
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