| 10/8/2008 10:01:40 AM |
Mementos of relationships past |
|
arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
|
I've dated several ladies in the past ten years and have had some wonderful memories from those relationships. I'm also one of those guys that is likely to keep a ticket stub to an event I really enjoyed with my girl.....or letter I received from her....or a birthday card......things of that nature.
I remember on at least one occasion I was confronted when my girlfriend at the time came across these mementos.
She was mad.
I was accused of holding on to my love for other women.....I wasn't really sure, so I tossed the stuff out.
Was she right?.........Is that sort of thing holding on to something one shouldn't?
|
| 10/8/2008 10:04:26 AM |
Mementos of relationships past |
|
missmmeoftheday
Brooklyn, NY
age: 42
|
There's a difference between holding onto things because they are tied to fond memories of something and holding onto things because you are pining for someone.
Memories are your own personal stuff. No one can take them away from you; and just because you threw out a few ticket stubs or cards doesn't mean that your feelings about those people or events are lessened, IMO.
How'd she find your stuff? Was she snooping?
|
| 10/8/2008 10:04:56 AM |
Mementos of relationships past |
|
up_for_anything
Richardson, TX
age: 33 online now!
|
She was wrong,
Nothing wrong with keeping mementos.
If someone asked my to throw away all the left index fingers I have so loving kept all these years, I would just have to add another to the collection.
|
| 10/8/2008 10:05:53 AM |
Mementos of relationships past |
|
theodorebear
Hopkinsville, KY
age: 41 online now!
|
I used to keep a special wallet in the closet full of pictures of "relationships past". My reasoning was to keep the pictures to keep the memories fresh in my mind, not only of the relationship, but of the lead-in to the demise of each one. This way I would have a reference if similar things started happening in the "new" relationship. But one day it hit me, that's not fair to the new relationship. NOTHING about the new relationship is like the old dead one. Anything I bring from the past in that respect can only bring pain with it. To be truly fair to yourself and your current girlfriend, leave the past in the past. I destroyed that wallet. The past can only hurt you if you carry it with you.
|
| 10/8/2008 10:07:43 AM |
Mementos of relationships past |
|
arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
|
She was helping me clean one of the spare rooms.
There was some stuff in one of the closets. I wasn't trying to hide it (I didn't think it mattered at the time) and she wasn't snooping.
|
| 10/8/2008 10:07:49 AM |
Mementos of relationships past |
|
pangel
Moline, IL
age: 41 online now!
|
Yes shes right, turn the page bro
|
| 10/8/2008 10:08:05 AM |
Mementos of relationships past |
|
angelips
Villas, NJ
age: 32 online now!
|
no we all have past experiences and with other people some we didnt even hate if u can believe that and they are just memories of ur past u should have never thrown them away they are ur memories and for u to reminisk not for her im sure she had some letters or whathave u of past relationships
|
| 10/8/2008 10:13:21 AM |
Mementos of relationships past |
|
bassguy66
Pepperell, MA
age: 42
|
The past can only hurt you if you carry it with you.
I totally agree. It's okay to have fond memories. But holding onto that "stuff" is only going to cause the new partner to have questions. It's not worth it.
I probably have more memories of my 17 year marriage than anything. But there is not one picture, one note, one card left around to remind me of the pain.
When it comes to dating, it's all about looking forward, not behind you.
|
| 10/8/2008 10:14:55 AM |
Mementos of relationships past |
|
metu
Mansfield, TX
age: 47
|
I have mementos from most of the relationships I've had...big freakin' deal! It's not like I sleep with them under my pillow or anything! I think she was wrong in asking/demanding that you get rid of them. Shows signs of insecurity on her part to me. JMO
|
| 10/8/2008 10:15:49 AM |
Mementos of relationships past |
|
pattilee3
Norfolk, VA
age: 49
|
We all have had past experiences that were memorable. She was being silly, if you wanted those past people you'd never have left. Once past high school, leave the silly jealousies.
|
| 10/8/2008 10:16:21 AM |
Mementos of relationships past |
|
beanz991
Houston, TX
age: 41 online now!
|
I'm kind of torn on this.
There are mementos and mementos (oh and Mentos - The Freshmaker).
I wouldn't like it if they have photos, I don't mean photos of them both but photos ONLY of that person. That goes beyond being a memento. I would like to think other stuff wouldn't bother me but I think it might If I am honest. Fortunately I really haven't had to deal with that yet as none of them have had anything I would consider a memento.
I DO have a few things. But I keep them locked up in my safe that I have....is that worse?? I keep them not to remind me of the person but to remind me of that time in my life...example I have a little statue thing that my ex wife gave me on our wedding day that is a male groom in the form of a cow/bull carrying a bride cow with the text 'I'll never love an udder' under it...dunno why I keep it but I kept that over my wedding ring.
Bit of a double standard I suppose.
[Edited 10/8/2008 10:17:27 AM]
|
| 10/8/2008 10:16:48 AM |
Mementos of relationships past |
|
foxy_woman_49
Omaha, NE
age: 50
|
I've held on to things ..doesnt mean I still wanted him
To be jealous of the past? not me...however I understand some are
What matters is the "Now"
the past is but a memory
|
| 10/8/2008 10:19:54 AM |
Mementos of relationships past |
|
metu
Mansfield, TX
age: 47
|
I'm kind of torn on this.
There are mementos and mementos (oh and Mentos - The Freshmaker).
I wouldn't like it if they have photos, I don't mean photos of them both but photos ONLY of that person. That goes beyond being a memento. I would like to think other stuff wouldn't bother me but I think it might If I am honest. Fortunately I really haven't had to deal with that yet as none of them have had anything I would consider a memento.
I DO have a few things. But I keep them locked up in my safe that I have....is that worse?? I keep them not to remind me of the person but to remind me of that time in my life...example I have a little statue thing that my ex wife gave me on our wedding day that is a male groom in the form of a cow/bull carrying a bride cow with the text 'I'll never love an udder' under it...dunno why I keep it but I kept that over my wedding ring.
Bit of a double standard I suppose.
Oh, Beanz! The image of that lil "Groom Bull" got me a lil misty...*sniff*
|
| 10/8/2008 10:21:10 AM |
Mementos of relationships past |
|
missmmeoftheday
Brooklyn, NY
age: 42
|
She was helping me clean one of the spare rooms.
There was some stuff in one of the closets. I wasn't trying to hide it (I didn't think it mattered at the time) and she wasn't snooping.
I don't know. It was your stuff. To ask you to get rid of it because she was threatened by it seems silly. Again, it's not like throwing out the "stuff" erases your past. Your past is what brought you into your present.
|
| 10/8/2008 10:23:07 AM |
Mementos of relationships past |
|
arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
|
I DO have a few things. But I keep them locked up in my safe that I have....is that worse?? .
I don't know...I REALLY am at a loss. This happened to me years ago and I admit, I'm still not sure if I fully understand.
Would it be worse hide.....REALLY hide mementos?
|