| 10/24/2008 8:35:56 AM |
Arguments and their Resolution |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 46
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I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that most people will have arguments in their relationship.
The arguments and REASONS for the arguments get discussed often, but the dynamics and resolution hardly ever are.
I'm interested in how you do it......and how you close it.
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I know the first line everone will write is, "It depends on what it's about" so let me give a scenario.....
The guy tells the lady he will do some domestic chore.....he gets busy elsewhere and it doesn't get done.
She counted on him.....he felt she was making a mountain out of a molehill, and also felt his other activities were legitimate.
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Tell me what happens.....
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| 10/24/2008 8:42:29 AM |
Arguments and their Resolution |
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susie1961
Tulsa, OK
age: 47
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Well that depends......... lol
Seriously, if it's an isolated incident I'd just do it myself and forget about it.
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| 10/24/2008 8:44:08 AM |
Arguments and their Resolution |
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cali1234
Exeter, CA
age: 60
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We give him the cold shoulder, and sulk........and he never knows why we are mad.
I used to be that way, but I think I have changed, and depending on how helpful he is normally would just let it go, arguments are so exhausting...... In a good relationship both people do whatever is needed and share the load of responsibilities. (I would hope)
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| 10/24/2008 8:45:08 AM |
Arguments and their Resolution |
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coppermare
Grady, AL
age: 48
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Bad example for me. I don't sweat the petty stuff. Household chore forgotten doesnt rate an argument.
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| 10/24/2008 8:50:59 AM |
Arguments and their Resolution |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 46
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Bad example for me. I don't sweat the petty stuff. Household chore forgotten doesnt rate an argument.
Okay.....let's say it was preventing a leak in the guest bedroom....your parents are coming to visit and will likely have a damp room......
Just crank it up a bit.........SOMEthing would initiate an argument......no one ever talks about the nuts and bolts of how they do it.
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| 10/24/2008 8:53:14 AM |
Arguments and their Resolution |
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missmmeoftheday
Brooklyn, NY
age: 43
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can you bring a couch into your threads ARman? So I can lie down comfy for this psycho-analysis? 
I have to think about arguments. Household chores left undone... because he was distracted. It's annoying, not argumentative. . But I'd tell him that I was counting on him for such-an-such; if it was that important to me, I'd do it myself. Otherwise, I guess it'd get done when he was free to do it.
Leaky ceiling? If I were fighting with him about it... I would take a stand on what needed to be done and why; I'd probably yell; I would ask him to stop doing whatever it was he was doing and come and help me fix the ceiling. Or I'd start it myself and he'd feel like a fool and come in and show me the right way to do it... assuming he knew.
Now no-one is gonna ask me out on a date cause I said I yell.
[Edited 10/24/2008 8:57:35 AM]
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| 10/24/2008 8:55:44 AM |
Arguments and their Resolution |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 46
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Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.........here's a new example.
The woman's parents are planning a big event....the guy refuses to go.
Let's try this.
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| 10/24/2008 9:02:19 AM |
Arguments and their Resolution |
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wtf_ftw
Bedford, TX
age: 33
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your first example:
i get up and do it but add another little notch on my wall of resentment for her being so impatient and naggy. the resentment builds over time until eventually i'll lash out for no good reason whatsoever, and we'll argue about something stupid that normally wouldn't start an argument, with the underlying reason being that i'm sick and tired of being treated like a misbehaving child.
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| 10/24/2008 9:03:25 AM |
Arguments and their Resolution |
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missmmeoftheday
Brooklyn, NY
age: 43
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your first example:
i get up and do it but add another little notch on my wall of resentment for her being so impatient and naggy. the resentment builds over time until eventually i'll lash out for no good reason whatsoever, and we'll argue about something stupid that normally wouldn't start an argument, with the underlying reason being that i'm sick and tired of being treated like a misbehaving child.
was I married to you? kidding.... but yeah, that is very accurate
[Edited 10/24/2008 9:04:08 AM]
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| 10/24/2008 9:05:52 AM |
Arguments and their Resolution |
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gerritsen
Raleigh, NC
age: 45
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Guess I have changed a bit in my thinking through the years.. Can't find, and not looking for any reason or have an argument.. Strange.. didn't argue during my marriage.. We did have a difference of opinions but not any arguments.. Who knows maybe if there had been some arguments, some passion.. I would not have divorced him??
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| 10/24/2008 9:08:50 AM |
Arguments and their Resolution |
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coppermare
Grady, AL
age: 48
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Again, wouldn't apply. Heck, I don't want to go either. Here's the problem with your questions. I can be honest or I can say what I THINK you want to hear. Either way, you'd never know. LOL
I HATE arguing and yelling. I had enough of it to last me a lifetime. Now when someone I love yells or I yell, or we fight over something, it hurts me and makes me very very nervous. I will distance myself from you. Leave me alone and let me get my head back together. Nine times out of ten, I'll come back TO YOU and apologize or try to sort things out. If I do not, it means I really am hurt and think your very wrong. You need to apologize to me and talk. And I am one big soft hearted sucker if your sincere.
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| 10/24/2008 9:10:51 AM |
Arguments and their Resolution |
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mistymae34
Las Vegas, NV
age: 34 online now!
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It's not about what the argument was about but the frustration behind it. It does not matter that you forgot to take out the trash it is about feelings of equality and appreciation, feelings of being loved.
Unless there is major underlining issues in the relationship a couple of minutes of bonding time will usually alleviate these feelings of frustration. Meaning given jesters of love or apperception to the other party show that they are just as important as whatever task overrode the one they wished you to perform.
[Edited 10/24/2008 9:12:43 AM]
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| 10/24/2008 9:11:05 AM |
Arguments and their Resolution |
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klassyklown
Bakersfield, CA
age: 40
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I would reply to your thread arkansas, but I am not talking to you.
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| 10/24/2008 9:11:05 AM |
Arguments and their Resolution |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 46
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your first example:
i get up and do it but add another little notch on my wall of resentment for her being so impatient and naggy. the resentment builds over time until eventually i'll lash out for no good reason whatsoever, and we'll argue about something stupid that normally wouldn't start an argument, with the underlying reason being that i'm sick and tired of being treated like a misbehaving child.
THAT'S honest..thank you.
When the gates finally blow, do you get to erase the resentment notches?.....or do they stay?
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| 10/24/2008 9:12:33 AM |
Arguments and their Resolution |
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wazer
South Bend, IN
age: 22
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i argue just cause an agry woman turns me on, but i would argue with her until one of us was close to the table or couch what evers close and kiss her and say your right i should have taken care of it i'll get to it right after oh yeah you know and most likely she'll agree or i do the chore and still get some 
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