| 10/6/2007 8:02:39 PM |
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truegrace
Hagerstown, MD
age: 51
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I've been talking to 2 men I met on this site, both are married at this time:
Man #1: Is fun loving, caring, passionate, lonely, sincere, respectful and makes me laugh. He at the time has no plans for getting a divorce, his reasons I totally understand and will not share his confidence to others, please don't judge him for this problem is mine. I care deeply for this man and feel as if I've know him all my life, he knows what I'm going to say before I say it, he knows what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling, I in turn can say the same, I know exactly what he's thinking, feeling or going to say to me. Sometimes we even finish each others sentences, or answer a ? before it's asked. I truely feel this man is my Soul Mate, my other half.
Man# 2: Is fun loving, caring, passionate, shares all my views on marriage and monogamy, he's respectful, a touch and needs to be touch type of person, he's in the process of getting a divorce and has said until the divorce is final we shouldn't meet, which I respect, however if things between the 2 of us become very serious and needful, he will sneak to meet me, this out of respect for him I will not allow, I would rather wait and told him that. He's also a workaholic, genius, holds several degrees works for several prestige companies across the US and abroad, he's an individual contractor in Robotics. I've fallen deeply for him, want to be with him like now, but I know it's not possible right at this moment, for reasons I've stated we have to wait. However even though he says he cares very deeply, sometimes it's days before he answers me, says his work keeps him busy and sometimes he just forgets, has a lot of pressures one being his soon to be ex, he's also been very ill for a couple of weeks and now has to catch up on his work. When we do talk he writes me love poems, and sends me love songs telling me how he feels, he also says he counting the days to when we can be together and has started making arrangments for that. He's made his self invisible on this date site because he says he's found what he wants. But he doesn't expect or want me to stop talking to anyone or leave this site, he told me he respects me as an individual and I have to make my own decisions about things. The only thing he asks is that I not do anything I wouldn't want him to do.
Now you people might think I'm crazy for asking this but am I making the right choice when deciding that's it's man # 2 I want to try and have a relationship with. Seems the 2 of us are more compatable and share more of the same views. I care for both but even though he is sometimes neglectful man #2 gives me more hope in what I want. What I want most in this life is again to be someones wife to matter to someone to be with someone is that so wrong. Or should I just hang it up and go on?
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| 10/6/2007 8:13:56 PM |
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quenisi
Searcy, AR
age: 68
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Man #2 sounds a bit like some of the scammers I have dealt with for the past 2 years. Have you seen this man in person or on webcam? Do you know how to do an IP check to see if he is actually where he says he is? Do you have an email from him in your personal mail or has all correspondance taken place in this site?
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| 10/6/2007 8:22:07 PM |
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truegrace
Hagerstown, MD
age: 51
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We talk every day on both personal and work email, have exchanged phone # but if he call me I'm at work where I work is controled and I can't take anything in the barrier with me, I don't call him
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| 10/6/2007 8:26:52 PM |
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trublu5ft2
Columbia, TN
age: 50
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You don't want my opinion about considering a married man.. uhuhhhhhhhhhh no you don't lol
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| 10/6/2007 8:28:06 PM |
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chopperbabe
Selah, WA
age: 46
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I think I'd cut the cords on both of those men. One has no plans for divorce then he is cheating and wants his cake and to eat it too. The other doesn't call for days??? Hmmmm what's with that??? Sounds like he's still with the wifey. Does not sound good at all 
[Edited 10/6/2007 8:29:06 PM]
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| 10/6/2007 8:29:19 PM |
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steak_king
Whitmore Lake, MI
age: 50
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Why are u looking at married men 
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| 10/6/2007 8:37:10 PM |
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truegrace
Hagerstown, MD
age: 51
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first of all the second one stated up front he was in the process of divorce, many people are in the process of divorce do you not talk to anyone in that situation? the first man was only going to be a friend he was the one stated his feeling not me, I have many male friends that are married some that I know better than their wives do simply because when they talk I listen and offer an opinion, and anyone that judges you because you talk to a married or attached man shouldn't through stones you never know what you'll be faced with tomorrow
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| 10/6/2007 8:47:25 PM |
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hrt4lse
Redding, CA
age: 48
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My opinion is, if you're really looking for a relationship & possible marriage, then you need to stop looking and chatting with married men. For your own protection now & in the future, even a guy who's separated wouldn't be a good bet. If the guy has been in a marriage of any length, then he needs to spend some time ON HIS OWN, figuring out what he wants, and how to deal with things. It's not a good idea for you to hook up with someone fresh out of a marriage. It's advice I give everyone who's going through a divorce, and something that I'm glad I did...spend time on my own, getting used to my independence. Only then can you really know if what he wants is you and not just rebounding from a bad marriage. And yes, I won't even have conversations with a man who's separated because of this. And he should also be able to make time for you, even if it's just a short email to let you know he's thinking of you. Days on end without contact? I'd get suspicious.
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| 10/6/2007 8:51:55 PM |
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lovinglife437
Meadville, PA
age: 44
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Grace I understand how you feel, but being close with married men does lead to heartache in one form or another. I'll be honest, even the married men that you know better than there wives - should be talking to their wives. Think of it in reverse. If I loved a man, I would feel the person he should share things with should be me. Even if we're not getting along, it surely isn't going to get better if he shares more with someone else than with me.
Grace you've got a lot of red flags with #2, the first being that he says you shouldn't meet til the divorce is final - but he'll sneak to meet you. People only sneak when they have something to hide or protect. He's invisible on this site... which in itself isn't a big deal but added to the other things, it's convenient. Anyone who is so in love with you that they write you songs and poems doesn't forget you when they get busy - in fact I'd think they'd call you for that bit of reprieve one needs when under that much pressure. Reasons for not being in touch often are: he got sick, busy catching up with work after being sick, busy and forgets... and if you watch I'm sure there will be another reason, a trip abroad, something.
I've been down this road... just giving my honest opinion. "Don't become emotionally involved with married men" is a good rule of thumb.
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| 10/6/2007 8:55:41 PM |
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ralrob
Miami, FL
age: 22
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| 10/6/2007 9:26:31 PM |
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craftygirl002
Tacoma, WA
age: 39
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I can't even respond to this thread without violating the rules...
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| 10/6/2007 9:52:23 PM |
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53lady
Jacksonville, FL
age: 53
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I hate to say this...but they saw you coming. If a man or woman is having troubles in their marriage they should go to counseling and work it out, or get divorced, Then as others have stated, the man, once divorced, should spend some time alone and "re-group."
JMO JMO JMO
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| 10/6/2007 10:28:58 PM |
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mishkabacci
Duncansville, PA
age: 42
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if a person must ask or need the support for any decision...its obviously not a wise choice at all...jmo...you will know when and who is the obvious choice...if you want the relationship to work...do not jump onto the bandwagon immediately to someone who is just broken up with or just divorced because they need a crutch or filling that void or looking for an excuse out of their relationship or marriage...everyone needs to go through that mourning process to seek a true relationship that will be healthy...jmo
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| 10/15/2007 1:36:08 PM |
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steelerj2000
Sardis, MS
age: 32
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Do you know how to do an IP check to see if he is actually where he says he is? do one one me and tell me if im where i say i am.
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| 10/15/2007 1:50:15 PM |
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stormygrl
Longmont, CO
age: 41
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MARRIED - I wouldn't talk to or pick either one....... JMO
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| 10/15/2007 3:01:01 PM |
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superscreename
Suffolk, VA
age: 30
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They are both MARRIED. Are you crazy?
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| 10/15/2007 3:57:01 PM |
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slowtyper1953
Fort Wayne, IN
age: 54
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ARE YOU FOR REAL, i got a bridge in az. thAT I NEED TO SELL SO MY SICK MOTHER CAN GET THE OPERATION SHE HAS NEEDED FOR 2 YEARS, With all these single men on line and you fall in love with the MARRIED TYPE your self esteem must be down by your feet,  or you just like to be hurt, or you like to bust up marriges, nice going your the best,
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| 10/15/2007 4:00:21 PM |
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peaches73036
El Reno, OK
age: 40
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I've never been so ashamed of another woman....How could you do that to anyone? Where is your morales or values? To purposely break up any home is just the most distateful thing I've ever seen...That "wife" should be like your sister, good or bad..You should not be wishing to cause anyone such hurt, shame or pain.....JMO
Peaches.
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| 10/15/2007 4:15:42 PM |
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mugan
Poplar Bluff, MO
age: 25
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Wow, There you have it. They're in the wrong by talking to you. And your in the wrong by supporting them. Respect other ppls marriages, stay away from married ppl. Its WRONG, VERY WRONG. 
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| 10/15/2007 4:38:17 PM |
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truegrace
Hagerstown, MD
age: 51
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First of all I have very high morals, second I didn't contact these men they contacted me. Next man #2 is in the process of divorce has been separated for 2 years, man #1 wife lives in another state with another man, they have both been married a couple times and don't want to go through another divorce until either have decided to remarry, next I'm only talking to these men, nothing more, Yes man#2 after his divorce is final we may meet. So don't tell me I have no morals my morals are high when the wife knows your talking to her husband and doesn't care because she's living with another man. Never said I was sleeping or planning to sleep with either of them at this point. I talk to a lot men married and other wise a lot in the public people have always found me easy to talk too. Was in the hospital this weekend and some man didn't know talked to me about things that was bothering him, so are you telling me I have not morals because I listened to someone who was scared and afraid to tell his wife. That I call a Christian lending a helping hand. No One said we were discussing anything disgraceful.Don't judge my morals till you know me personally, you may find mine, and they are, are higher than yours!!!!!!
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| 10/15/2007 4:44:31 PM |
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kikigirl
Downers Grove, IL
age: 26
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I have to agree with the rest of the people on here....
I even have it stated in my profile that if you are married, dont bother even trying to talk to me.
I do now wish to be part of the homewreckers club...
men will tell you whatever they think you want to hear...
put yourself in the wifes shoes...
lets say your married, and you find exchanges on the computer between your husband (whether you are split or getting divorced...doesnt matter)
and some girl.... I'm sorry, even if the marriage is over, it's still going to be painful...
and I personally would want nothing to do with causing unneeded pain like that...
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| 10/15/2007 4:46:18 PM |
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peaches73036
El Reno, OK
age: 40
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You yourself say.."#1 has no plans to divorce" #2 Would sneak out to meet you...Some morals...They wish to know you in every manner but not respect you and You did not respect the wife..So, plz tell me where we are wrong to think that wrong?And my apologies I try to judge no one..I simply stated my oppinion not pass judgement.
xoxoPeaches.
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| 10/15/2007 4:46:34 PM |
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superscreename
Suffolk, VA
age: 30
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Hey, you asked the question, we gave our opinions, your offense to our answers tells me that you may feel it is wrong as well. You don't have to give any creedence to our opinions. Sorry if I offended you, but that is what I think.
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| 10/15/2007 5:23:04 PM |
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barbaque
Marble Falls, TX
age: 58 online now!
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your profile says you like honesty,no head games.What to do!!!WAKE UP!!!a man that runs around on his wife is not honest(ya think hes mentioned you to his wife?)Head games?
lets see your playing TWO guys,thier playing TWO women(one being thier wives) you may get what you deserve. WISE UP before it's too late.none of my business but since you asked.
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| 10/15/2007 5:49:08 PM |
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slowtyper1953
Fort Wayne, IN
age: 54
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he truegrace i;m married and i need a date for the weekend give me a cal ar 260-555-fuc_
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