| 2/9/2009 8:24:03 AM |
how many have been sexually assulted |
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oldeschoolcharm
Monroe, WA
age: 47
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a good reason not to report a rape that isn't a lame excuse? fear? shame? humiliation? any of those good enough for you?
Try this: being charged with malicious prosecution, or civil slander and losing the case.
Extreme claims call for extreme proof, and if she doesn't have it, she can quickly find herself the target of legal action.
Good Samaritan laws are designed so third parties trying to assist can't be found liable for the consequences when things go wrong. They do not cover this situation (although here she could argue that since rape is a criminal offense, the state, not her, is the victim, but that's a real technical stretch).
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| 2/9/2009 11:27:34 AM |
how many have been sexually assulted |
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randomgirl1988
Wichita, KS
age: 20
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It took me a while to tell anyone about what happened to me. My mom reacted the exact way i knew she would when i told her. She cried and then wanted me to tell her is name and where he lived... which I didnt... no good would come out of what she wanted to do or say. She is also a victim of mulitple rapes when she was a teenager. There is no reason for me to tell my father all it will do is break his heart and again what good comes out of that? Hell i didnt even tell my best friend for over six months.
When i was dealing with my friends rape... where is was the one who called the police and got them involved. They treated every person on the scene like a criminal. After making me stand in the dead of winter in a snow drift for over an hour in sneakers without socks, a thin hoody and sweat pants they decided to keep me warm by locking me in the back of a cop car. I was so dissappointed with the police. The way they treated my friend, me, and her boyfriend like criminals. Like i was the one who jumped her and forced myself on her.
As much as anyone wants to b*tch at me for not going to the police if it had been me in this situation I would never have trust in the police again. They are not angles sent to help but men getting paid to do their jobs.
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| 2/9/2009 11:37:08 AM |
how many have been sexually assulted |
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ghenderson12
Memphis, TN
age: 37
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if im not mistaking the time for a rape is 5 years if uhad a rape kit done at the hospital the dna would prove it he did rape you and he needs to go to jail i wish u the best of luck on this 
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| 2/9/2009 11:41:05 AM |
how many have been sexually assulted |
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randomgirl1988
Wichita, KS
age: 20
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but i didnt go to the hospital... not until about three weeks later and that was to get tested to make sure i didnt catch anything from him
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| 2/9/2009 12:00:51 PM |
how many have been sexually assulted |
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ash_09
Dayton, OH
age: 19
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i was sexually assulted 3 times. well i've been raped twice, once by my sister's boyfriends i was 12, and he was 27. and the second time i was 10 and it was my uncles friend. i never want to go through that shit again.. it is the worse feeling in the world. and my parents didn't believe me... no one did everyone thought i was full of shit... 
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| 2/9/2009 12:52:18 PM |
how many have been sexually assulted |
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nitecaller
Edmonton, AB
age: 46
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my grandmother taught me one very important thing in life
and that is ya just can't rape the willing
although i am sorry for what happen to you its part of life and unless
your gonna let it control you till your death baby girl i have three letters for you
L.I.G. let it go
it was a learning experiance and you can not control what happen its called life
i wish i could control life boy oh boy would i hit the f**king rewind button
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| 2/9/2009 1:12:59 PM |
how many have been sexually assulted |
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georgiagirl2009
Tifton, GA
age: 28
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As much as anyone wants to b*tch at me for not going to the police if it had been me in this situation I would never have trust in the police again. They are not angles sent to help but men getting paid to do their jobs.
why are y'all trying to make her go to the police now? they wont believe her at this point. get over it--she didn't go then and she had her reasons for it. leave the girl alone about it for cryin out loud!
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| 2/9/2009 1:14:02 PM |
how many have been sexually assulted |
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evileddy
Ottawa, ON
age: 35
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why are y'all trying to make her go to the police now? they wont believe her at this point. get over it--she didn't go then and she had her reasons for it. leave the girl alone about it for cryin out loud!
Because now there is a rapist out there getting away with it.
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| 2/9/2009 1:23:00 PM |
how many have been sexually assulted |
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randomgirl1988
Wichita, KS
age: 20
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If i went to the police now they would right my name down and his name down and that would be the extent of it.
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| 2/9/2009 2:43:37 PM |
how many have been sexually assulted |
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jondalar
Reno, NV
age: 54
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Randomgirl
I think it is brave of you and good therapy to post this topic here. It is ugly and we do not want to look at it or even know that it happens so often. Much more than that is that most guys have been in the position to go too far when a girls was saying no.Maybe not far enough to be called rape but far enough to make her cry that we are capable of being so thoughtless.
There is no need to go to the police, there is nothing they can do for you now and it may even feel humiliating because it will be pointless.
What you have done is speak about it and that could help some young women to avoid the guy who may violate her and also realize that she must report it immediately. Even in my small town there are women on call through 911 who have been raped and will be there to help her through the process.
Unless a person has experienced the basic boundary of there own skin being violated they cannot understand and will push the idea from their mind because it is too uncomfortable to think of. However if we think of it and talk about it maybe we can stop some of it and help heal those who have been violated.
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| 2/9/2009 3:18:56 PM |
how many have been sexually assulted |
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dragontatsx3
Chattanooga, TN
age: 44
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Random
First and foremost the best form of therapy is to talk about what happened and this is exactly what you are doing so this is a very good thing.
Second: have you given any thought to maybe taking a self defense class to turn the balance of power back in your favor? Rape is about control and power period. There are some defensive moves that can help in this situation. Then if - god forbid - something like this ever happened again you would be more able to defend yourself from your attacker.
And yes I am aware that most people (police included) will tell you its best to not fight back and to them I say this: Fine then how about we swap places and you just sit there and let it happen then tell me again not to fight back. Each person and situation is different but we all have the instinct of "flight or fight".
Oh and to the ones who feel that this is not the time or place for this type of discussion/confession----then when and where would you prefer it be? Under the same rug or rock that you sweep the rest of the world's dirty secrets? The word "coward" comes to mind...
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| 2/9/2009 4:44:37 PM |
how many have been sexually assulted |
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bry11ca
Irving, TX
age: 44
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a good reason not to report a rape that isn't a lame excuse? fear? shame? humiliation? any of those good enough for you?
unless you have had a man force sex on you, then you will NEVER know what it is like. not just physically but emotionally and mentally. bry, you have no damn idea what you are talking about. you think you know everything about this subject but damn. every post you have in this thread just pisses me off. "taking responsibility"? for what? being raped? for not going to the police (a bunch of men) and then the hospital to have a rape kit performed (humiliating and uncomfortable at best) after a man has forced his penis on you? you have no idea what is going through a woman's mind after she has been raped and you never will because you are not a woman. get over yourself.
Read my previous posts. The guy lived across the street. Those are lame excuses. Should I have used excuses like that to not volunteer for the Army, to not take responsibility for my DUI, to not quit drinking, to stand up to the little gang banger who pulled out a 22 and fired it not twenty feet away in CA? I think the OP can deal better than you think and will not only never let that happen to her again but will report it immediately, putting her own shame and interests second to society's.
Women aren't the only one's who are raped. I am over myself and I am a responsible member of society, whether you appreciate or not.
I am not hating, and firmly holding each of you accountable for your part in the rape and what followed. Get over the incident and do something about it.
All I'm saying is filing a statement so future rape victims can call on her as a witness is appropriate. She already confronted the guy. SHEESH!!
OK, in case you didn;t see the words: FUTURE RAPE VICTIMS - get out of your selfish bubble and do something. So we have to force the police to act? No sh*t Sherlock, unless your privileged it has always been the families that push for justice. Nothing new there.
Bry 
[Edited 2/9/2009 4:59:17 PM PST]
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| 2/9/2009 4:50:17 PM |
how many have been sexually assulted |
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bry11ca
Irving, TX
age: 44
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Try this: being charged with malicious prosecution, or civil slander and losing the case.
Extreme claims call for extreme proof, and if she doesn't have it, she can quickly find herself the target of legal action.
Good Samaritan laws are designed so third parties trying to assist can't be found liable for the consequences when things go wrong. They do not cover this situation (although here she could argue that since rape is a criminal offense, the state, not her, is the victim, but that's a real technical stretch).
What I suggested is that she file a statement so that should he violate someone else she will become a corroborating witness. Anybody can sue anybody at any time, but they also face retribution.
Bry
OP, how the Police handled your friends situation sounds extremely frustrating, but we don't have the advantage of seeing what the situation was, we don;t know what your police force is like, etc. I have had cops pretty much tell me that they weren't going to do anything when my hotel room was burglarized, but that was not rape.
I'm with  Pie , this thread makes me sad, but I will still do what I can to remove bad guys and girls if they hurt me or someone else in front of me.
Bry
[Edited 2/9/2009 4:54:38 PM PST]
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| 2/9/2009 5:40:02 PM |
how many have been sexually assulted |
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randomgirl1988
Wichita, KS
age: 20
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Random
First and foremost the best form of therapy is to talk about what happened and this is exactly what you are doing so this is a very good thing.
Second: have you given any thought to maybe taking a self defense class to turn the balance of power back in your favor? Rape is about control and power period. There are some defensive moves that can help in this situation. Then if - god forbid - something like this ever happened again you would be more able to defend yourself from your attacker.
And yes I am aware that most people (police included) will tell you its best to not fight back and to them I say this: Fine then how about we swap places and you just sit there and let it happen then tell me again not to fight back. Each person and situation is different but we all have the instinct of "flight or fight".
Oh and to the ones who feel that this is not the time or place for this type of discussion/confession----then when and where would you prefer it be? Under the same rug or rock that you sweep the rest of the world's dirty secrets? The word "coward" comes to mind...
i do need to take a self deffence class. But as for now i have pepper spray and a small knife i carry with my on my keys every where i go
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| 2/9/2009 5:44:01 PM |
how many have been sexually assulted |
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randomgirl1988
Wichita, KS
age: 20
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Read my previous posts. The guy lived across the street. Those are lame excuses. Should I have used excuses like that to not volunteer for the Army, to not take responsibility for my DUI, to not quit drinking, to stand up to the little gang banger who pulled out a 22 and fired it not twenty feet away in CA? I think the OP can deal better than you think and will not only never let that happen to her again but will report it immediately, putting her own shame and interests second to society's.
Women aren't the only one's who are raped. I am over myself and I am a responsible member of society, whether you appreciate or not.
I am not hating, and firmly holding each of you accountable for your part in the rape and what followed. Get over the incident and do something about it.
All I'm saying is filing a statement so future rape victims can call on her as a witness is appropriate. She already confronted the guy. SHEESH!!
OK, in case you didn;t see the words: FUTURE RAPE VICTIMS - get out of your selfish bubble and do something. So we have to force the police to act? No sh*t Sherlock, unless your privileged it has always been the families that push for justice. Nothing new there.
Bry
For the sake of it I will seriously think about just going and giving names of the guy and myself. But if someone else went to trial with him the lawyer would tell me apart for not reporting it first off.
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