How do you let your guard down???

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2/6/2009 9:26:18 PM	How do you let your guard down???
grammyd Saddle Brook, NJ age: 55	How do you learn to trust again? How do you stop the crazies in your mind?
2/6/2009 9:30:26 PM	How do you let your guard down???
darlinshel Clayton, NC age: 41	Give yourself time to heal. Sometimes you just have to go for it, watch for obvious signs that something isn't right, but give the person a chance. Sometimes it's not that you need to learn to trust someone else, you need to trust yourself.
2/6/2009 9:53:54 PM	How do you let your guard down???
ike2973 Stockton, CA age: 36	You just have to put yourself out there. Its not easy to let your guard down especially after being hurt for some reason. Whether its was a bad break up or the death of a partner it just takes time to be able to let someone get close again due to trust issues and those issues may not be just on your side. After losing my long time GF and fiance I couldn't even look at another woman for a while. Slowly i started dating again but it took a couple years for me to get the courage back. Then recently i met someone that got in close before i even realized i had let her in. Unfortunately she has some trust issues of her own and is still too scared to act on what she feels or even admit to anything more than "I mean a lot to her". If your willing to get out there and try things will eventually come together.
2/6/2009 9:58:11 PM	How do you let your guard down???
barbaraajo Reston, VA age: 53	I will let you know when I figure it out, but I think the main answer is TIME
2/6/2009 10:01:42 PM	How do you let your guard down???
clownkilla Sarasota, FL age: 39	Never trust them just use them!
2/6/2009 10:41:58 PM	How do you let your guard down???
hsprin Savannah, MO age: 33	Time, if you can't yet, it has not been enough time, and you need to step back and forgive that person and move on. Don't carry your past forward.
2/6/2009 10:49:23 PM	How do you let your guard down???
plumberman1 Ripley, WV age: 34	i have to say that ive been extremely bitter since my divorce three years ago, but im working on it
2/7/2009 9:54:19 AM	How do you let your guard down???
lilmissala1957 Hartselle, AL age: 52	Time. And a little self examination. You not only have to forgive the person but forgive yourself and admit to your own responsibilities of the relationship. Good or bad. Learn from it and move on.
2/7/2009 1:47:19 PM	How do you let your guard down???
justgg07 Reserve, NM age: 40	When it's right it will just fall down and you won't even realize it. Just try and leave it down before it goes back up again!
2/7/2009 6:10:06 PM	How do you let your guard down???
vanir Victoria Australia age: 40	Sheesh, I'm still in my thirties (just) and already concerned about TIME. I'd say...be a little paranoid if you have to. At this point letting down your guard is probably more important than appearing well adjusted. Think of the adrenalin as a drug. A happy drug. A party drug. It's not even illegal, how good can it get? Let down your guard and be crazy paranoid nutso. Time is not your friend here. Just get the job done and live a little more before they lock you up and vitamise your food.
2/7/2009 6:14:35 PM	How do you let your guard down???
msbevzie Oregon, OH age: 46	Well learn to forgive, and ask yourself what part you played...and what you can do different, and move forward. I always TRUST...until I have a reason NOT to.
2/8/2009 9:48:51 AM	How do you let your guard down???
grammyd Saddle Brook, NJ age: 55	Thank you all!!! Problem is I always trusted and BAM... I was floored when ex left me for his old girlfriend, so I felt like a fool for trusting. Now I find it so hard. I'm afraid to loose something good because of old insecurities.
2/8/2009 10:13:01 AM	How do you let your guard down???
magtag East York, ON age: 43	Quote from grammyd: Thank you all!!! Problem is I always trusted and BAM... I was floored when ex left me for his old girlfriend, so I felt like a fool for trusting. Now I find it so hard. I'm afraid to loose something good because of old insecurities. First off keep reminding yourself that all men are not your ex. Take some time to get to know you, and trust you and your judgement. That's what it boils down to is trusting your own judgement before you can trust others. In the last relationship, you chose to trust someone who wasn't trustworthy so it makes you wonder if you can trust your own judgement. Figure out why your judgement was off the last time and it will make it easier to trust the next time around.
2/8/2009 10:37:18 AM	How do you let your guard down???
countrysweet677 Waverly, NY age: 49	by taking time and by showing trust you earn trust in them and that wall starts to crumble on its own..
2/8/2009 11:18:43 AM	How do you let your guard down???
usakindatheart Overton, TX age: 49	time.. you have to mourn the first broken relationship first.. go through all the stages of mourning.. then only time and distance can help.. limited contact with the x... usually takes about 2 years... sucks... what even sucks more.. is when your through with the above.. and hit the acceptance stage to be able to date.. then you have fresh hope again... at our ages.. then we try to find men... and most are dating far younger women... then after you go through mourning the possibility of finding a future forever, that most likely not ever going to happen... then you go through the second acceptance of your life as it really is... and then you find real peace... and fill your life with love for other people and from your family.. and do generative activities... date maybe a little here and there.. i recommend doing a bucket list of every thing in your whole life you have always wanted to do or try.. and start doing them... this will help fill in the first 2 years, while mourning your broken relationship.. and by the time you hit your second acceptance about the dating pool... you will have really done and experienced some great memories.. good luck op.. and happy hunting
2/8/2009 11:22:21 AM	How do you let your guard down???
sage_way Cottonwood, AZ age: 48	Some day....some one, will come along and show you that you don't need it anymore!
2/8/2009 11:43:16 AM	How do you let your guard down???
kinkycapitalist Atlanta, GA age: 55	By lifting your dress up, silly
2/8/2009 5:13:39 PM	How do you let your guard down???
justmysay1 Wichita, KS age: 39	Wow I keep telling myself that but it's kinda weird cause even though I'm thinking it I seem to be letting my guard down with my new friend.. (and it feels great) So... Maybe it will be like that.. Best Wishes... [Edited 2/8/2009 5:14:11 PM PST]