| 10/31/2007 11:28:32 AM |
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lostinwyoming
Evanston, WY
age: 50
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one ball short of a full rack.
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| 10/31/2007 11:30:05 AM |
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soultrynights
San Clemente, CA
age: 38
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hornier than a four peckered billy goat
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| 10/31/2007 11:36:51 AM |
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bucktail
Poynette, WI
age: 46
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shit like a goose
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| 10/31/2007 11:37:18 AM |
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bucktail
Poynette, WI
age: 46
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wine-wemen-song
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| 10/31/2007 1:55:50 PM |
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phucq
Panama City, FL
age: 65
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This one is especially appropriate for the forums:
"Opinions are like assholes.... everybody's got one,
and except for mine, they all stink."
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| 10/31/2007 3:19:52 PM |
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ltr4me
Hanover, PA
age: 56
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he really got shit-faced last night
you really got the short end of the stick
that really burns my arse
i sure f*cked up from down
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| 10/31/2007 3:30:15 PM |
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qazyguy
Rockville, MD
age: 53 online now!
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Law's second phrase is actually the punchline to one of those "use a word in a sentence" jokes: "You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think".
A friend used to say: You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead. haha.
We should all avoid cliches like the plague.
JIM
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| 10/31/2007 4:12:20 PM |
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trublu5ft2
Columbia, TN
age: 50 online now!
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His elevator doesn't go to the top
one donut shy of a dozen
1 beer shy of a 6pack
whatever floats ur boat
whatever cranks ur tractor
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| 11/1/2007 5:39:06 AM |
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herefromminsk
Charlottesville, VA
age: 69
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Running around Robinhood's Barn
You can't make a Silk Purse out of a Sow's ear
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| 11/1/2007 1:58:19 PM |
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trublu5ft2
Columbia, TN
age: 50 online now!
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If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck.. its gotta be a duck
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| 11/1/2007 2:32:34 PM |
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4evr6y
Morgan, VT
age: 65 online now!
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howling like a woolf
i didn't have the heart to fire him...so i went out of business.
wetter than a well diger's boot
kick 'er where it don't show in court
if you had splinters where you had brains...you'd be sh..en' wood chips
higher than a kite
draggin on a conastoga
one hand for the ship,one for you
one jellybean for you,two for uncle
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| 11/1/2007 2:41:10 PM |
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knightnyte2
Spring, TX
age: 54 online now!
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fell out of the ugly tree and hit every limb on the way down.
so ugly, mama had to tie a porkchop around his neck so the dogs would play with him.
he's so ugly, mama tried to sneak off from the hospital, without him
sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink... on an on with the ugly ones...
[Edited 11/1/2007 2:41:55 PM]
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| 11/1/2007 3:58:41 PM |
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4evr6y
Morgan, VT
age: 65 online now!
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my ex wife only has sex with me for a purpose.last night she ysed me to time an egg..
It was tough to stay married.My wife would kiss the dog on the lips,she wouldn't even drink from my glass..
one night my wife met me at the door,she was wearing a sexy negligee.Trouble is she was coming home..
a girl phoned me up and said"no one's home,come on over".so I went over.Nobody was home.
a hooker once told me she had a headache..
I went to a masage parlor..it was self serve..
if it wasn't for pickpokets i wouldn't have sex at all..
I knew a girl she was so ugley they used in prison to cure sex offenders..
my ex was such a bad cook if we left dental floss in the kitchen the roches would hang themselves..
she was such a bad cook we prayed after the meal..and the dog begged for Alka Seltzer..
she used to like to talk on the phone during sex. one night she called me from chicago..
My family was so poor that if i wasn't born a boy ,I wouldn't have anything to play with..
Thanks Rodney
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| 11/1/2007 6:26:06 PM |
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cmed68
Poquoson, VA
age: 63
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His expression is like a bulldog with a case of the piles
He isn't packing a full seabag (Navy/Marine Corps one)
Drunk as a Skunk
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| 11/4/2007 11:04:13 PM |
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qazyguy
Rockville, MD
age: 53 online now!
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My one version: One Bit short of a Byte.
And to add a different twist: One doughnut short of a Baker's Dozen.
JIM
P.S. My father used to get me up by saying Rise and Shine. I always hated that! But dang if I wish he was still alive to say it again.
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