2/14/2009 1:29:13 PM |
Does he deserve another chance? |
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uneek50
Mesa, AZ
age: 50
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I have recently started dating a guy that I enjoy spending time with that is until yesterday.He asked me to scratch his beard for him and when I told him no he called me a b*tch. I said, what did you say and he said you heard me. When I told him that I would'nt be seeing anymore he said he was just joking and I took it all wrong.He wants me to go out at least one more time with him so he can explain and show me thats not how he is. I consider what he did to be very disrespectful. Am I wrong and should I give him another chance? We have had some good times together.
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2/14/2009 1:37:58 PM |
Does he deserve another chance? |
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italianlady05
Omaha, NE
age: 53
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hmmm if it doesn't feel right to YOU then it probably isn't...
It does seem like an odd remark to make just because you wouldn't scratch his beard...
soooo, guess you have to decide. Is this the first "red flag"? Have you lost respect for him? Do you feel as interested in him as you did at first? Me thinks that just the fact that you are asking us would or could indicate that you really aren't that into him anymore...
did i confuse you further? these are JMO
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2/14/2009 1:39:49 PM |
Does he deserve another chance? |
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awakeing
Walled Lake, MI
age: 36
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OH MY!!!!
I would have been livid and walked out the door right then and there without
another word spoken!
I wouldn't even call another woman that! Then again now days it seems
the younger women call themselves that as a "loving" term like
"Hey b*tch what up." I cringed when I hear people talk that way to each
other.
So here's how I see it...
A. He's testing you. What can he get by with and what kind of
woman are you.
B. He thinks he's being young and hip.
C. He's a King Jerk that's lying about playing with you because
you told him NO to something which is an abuser in disguise.
So you've been with him...What's your call?
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2/14/2009 1:48:14 PM |
Does he deserve another chance? |
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122750again
Sioux Falls, SD
age: 58
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Recently seeing, as in how many times??? 3-4-5 He may very well have been Joking BUT, if some guy I was seeing called me a B*tch I'd flat tell him you call me that one more time and you're gonna see Just How Much Of A B*TCH I Can Be No excuse for a MAN to call a Lady he hasn't been seeing very long a name his Mother probably wouldn't approve of. Last time I looked in the dictionary a b*tch was a Female dog
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2/14/2009 1:52:09 PM |
Does he deserve another chance? |
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sea____
Mesa, AZ
age: 56
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A man in his fifties saying that??.....I would feel very uncomfortable...and would have 2nd thoughts of being around him....but how was his tone of voice...usually one can tell if one his kidding in fun...maybe thats what kind of women he's been around in the past to think he could say that....sometimes you just gots to give them the benefit of the doubt....but if it was me and just speaking for myself...I wouldn't want anything to do with him..under any circumstance should a gentleman call a woman a b*tch....even though I have a sign posted on my door.........Welcome to B*tch City......Edited to say Hi neighbor...just noticed your from Mesa also.......Sea
[Edited 2/14/2009 1:54:57 PM PST]
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2/14/2009 1:52:17 PM |
Does he deserve another chance? |
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italianlady05
Omaha, NE
age: 53
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i agree awakening..the thought of him being an abuser came to my mind too..
i wondered if i was reading too much into it..but that thought stayed with me and then when you wrote that, i realized i wasn't off my mark.
He sounds like a controlling abuser in sheep's clothing...wining and dining you in the early stages but beneath the surface, there's an A-hole ...
i'd say drop him like a bad habit. No excuse to call a woman a b*tch, even in jest.
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2/14/2009 1:54:31 PM |
Does he deserve another chance? |
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leftfooted
West Covina, CA
age: 49
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it may be a sign in which he may communicate with you sometimes also a sign of how he may have communicated with women of his past
[Edited 2/14/2009 1:56:18 PM PST]
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2/14/2009 1:57:53 PM |
Does he deserve another chance? |
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uneek50
Mesa, AZ
age: 50
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Other than this incident I have enjoyed his company. I have talked to family and friends and half say yes,give him another chance. The other half say no.I wanted to hear some opinions from others not close to me.
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2/14/2009 2:00:11 PM |
Does he deserve another chance? |
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awakeing
Walled Lake, MI
age: 36
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it may be a sign in which he may communicate with you sometimes also a sign of how he may have communicated with women of his past
You know leftfoot you bring up a great point!
If he's done that to others you can bet and win that
he's abused those women.
Verbal abuse begets emotional and psychological abuse at the
very least. If he's real angry then punching you in the face
isn't very far away.
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2/14/2009 2:02:46 PM |
Does he deserve another chance? |
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italianlady05
Omaha, NE
age: 53
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just a thought...is he on any meds??? bi-polar, heavy drinker history, rough life in his past?
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2/14/2009 2:14:02 PM |
Does he deserve another chance? |
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uneek50
Mesa, AZ
age: 50
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This man is 39.He is still mature enough to know better. I have had 4 dates with this guy. I don't know him well enough to know how he treats his mother, to me that is a good indication on how he treats other women.I did let him know that just because I am older does'nt mean I am desperate enough to put up abusive behavior.WOW! I do believe I just answered my own question. I would still like to hear some more opinions.
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2/14/2009 2:17:16 PM |
Does he deserve another chance? |
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georgiagirl2009
Tifton, GA
age: 28
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there is no way i would give him that second chance. even if he was just joking that is INCREDIBLY disrespectful! period. at 39, he is old enough to know better. the fact that he doesn't should tell you something.
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2/14/2009 2:24:37 PM |
Does he deserve another chance? |
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cruise427
Los Angeles, CA
age: 41 online now!
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i think he just wanted to get close to you,
and you shot down his request, maybe he took it wrong,
like an insult.
you're not gonna beleive this.. but,
sometimes guys actually do tell the truth.
everybody has done and said some sort of ,"stupid shit".
would you want him to give you a 2nd chance..??
everybody deserves a 2nd chance, .. within reason,of course
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2/14/2009 2:27:01 PM |
Does he deserve another chance? |
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magtag
East York, ON
age: 42
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Sounds rather (very) disrespectful to me. If that's the way he jokes around, I'd hate to see how he'd behave if he were actually upset or angry.
Personally, if it were me in your shoes, I'd move along rather quickly. At best his "joke" was a test (conscious or subconscious) of what you will accept, which is NOT a good sign.
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2/14/2009 3:30:40 PM |
Does he deserve another chance? |
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lilmissala1957
Hartselle, AL
age: 51
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I am rather old fashioned myself and just don't care for that language though it is pretty popular stuff now a days. I personally would not put up with a man even jokingly calling me one. Its called respect and usually even if they are jokingly calling you one if you get into a real arguement that may not be the worst thing he calls you. Its your call though...only you know what to do. Good luck.
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