| 3/13/2009 3:50:19 PM |
Spouse's wishes |
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mygenny
Linden, NC
age: 54
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As far as myGenny late husband Jerry wishes was for me not to be alone and I promise him that I keep my hair long as long as his mother's was down to her feet I got a long ways to go. But it is getting were that I am not able to keep his wishes and promise. Wish that I be alone I am not alone but I do have JESUS by my side, as far as the hair goes I may cut it in a few years, but for right now I will keep it long, I try to cut it last year on the first year of his death date but I couldn't I was not ready to let go of him yet. And now I am going to let a man go cause we aren't evenly yoke in faith in GOD. All I have right now I will have JESUS until HE send the next Mr.Right if that is in HIS PLAN for myGenny.
[Edited 3/13/2009 3:54:13 PM PST]
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| 3/18/2009 7:22:17 AM |
Spouse's wishes |
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61sunshine
North Augusta, SC
age: 63
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Jim always told me to keep living and enjoying life. He knew I am a people person.
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| 3/18/2009 10:08:16 AM |
Spouse's wishes |
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ivysmom1
Daytona Beach, FL
age: 63
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Something drew me back to this site this morning don't know what it was and it drew me back to the forums and groups. When my late hubby was so sick he would have me sit for awhile while he discussed this topic. He didn't want me to put any input into the conversation just listen to what he had to say. He was more afraid of me being alone and having to cope with life after he died than him dying. He would tell me over and over again to find someone who could make me happy who would love me as he had loved me. When he died I was the one holding everyone else up and I kept hearing his last conversation.
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| 3/18/2009 4:32:10 PM |
Spouse's wishes |
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randyk2
Winchester, KY
age: 54
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My wife and I never discussed this question. We were to busy trying to find way to save her life. She lived only six months after diagostic.
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| 3/19/2009 8:33:44 AM |
Spouse's wishes |
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edgeofsandias
Placitas, NM
age: 41
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You all have wonderful touching stories. Mine is a little different. We knew Eric had a brain tumor for 11 years before he passed away. That's a lot of stress to live with. We never discussed my future after his death until close to the end. He told me he didn't want me to remarry.
Luckily I will not base my future decisions on that, but it does weigh on my mind.
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| 3/19/2009 8:50:33 AM |
Spouse's wishes |
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ivysmom1
Daytona Beach, FL
age: 63
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Edge just remember your wedding vows and let that help guide you in your decision .......in sickeness and in health and the last part till death do us part. Going thru an illness for 11 years is rough but given time life goes on and at your age I don't think you late hubby would not want you to remarry. If the shoe was on the other foot and it was you how passed you would want him to remarry. you would want him to be happy. Just my thoughts
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| 3/26/2009 5:01:36 AM |
Spouse's wishes |
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soosie
Newport, KY
age: 59
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My husband and I never discussed that subject, but I know if the situation was reversed he would be on with his life, but not married again. We both have been down that road twice and after almost six years of him being gone, I want to get on with my life, but don't want to get married again. I told him the afternoon of the night that he died that I would never get married again and he just kind of gave me a look as to say come on hon, you have to get on with your life. He knew he was dying, but neither one of us could face it. I think the last week he was alive, I was totally numb from head to foot and just could not bear the thought of being with out him. Sorry, but I have stop here because I am starting to tear up. I miss him so much and wish I could have him back, but at least I know he is not suffering anymore and the cancer has been burned up because he was cremated and I still have his ashes and I promised him that he would not go in the ground until I went and I am keeping that promise to him. I love you babe and I always will.      xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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| 3/30/2009 9:06:48 AM |
Spouse's wishes |
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sassynstrong
Mena, AR
age: 49
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OK y'all got me in the box of tissues now.
Boy this is a hard topic. I knew what he wanted and what we were working for just before he died. The fact that we were young (him 37, me 36), he was apparently healthy, had no bad habits, and had just passed a physical for the volunteer fire department made it such a shock when he just stepped outside to get a breath of fresh air and dropped dead. How do you know for sure what he would have wanted? I do know that he would not have wanted me to be alone, as for a time (7 years) he wasn't able to fully function as a man and kept setting me up with other guys with the intention (his) of them becoming bed buddies because he didn't want me to do without the sex. I think that he finally realized that I would rather do without than do with someone else.
Long story short, I remarried almost 4 years later and it wasn't good.
My kids tell me that they know why it has taken almost a year for me to start even thinking about dating again after my divorce but why it only took a few weeks after their dad died before I was ready to start dating again and it's NOT age LOL. They say it's because my marriage to their dad was so good that I wanted the same thing again but that my last marriage was so bad that I'm afraid of doing that again.
Ya know, they could be right.
Sign from beyond? The first available court date for my divorce was on the 12th anniversary of John's death. Yes, I took it.
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| 3/30/2009 10:32:14 AM |
Spouse's wishes |
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margaret1913
Neenah, WI
age: 59
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Don and I talked about it a few times. He knew that the front I put on expressing that I didn't need any help, could take care of myself, and could do it all myself was just that, a front. He knew how fragile my heart and emotions really were.
At the end of one discussion when I talked about how hard it was to take care of my Mom and Dad in their last years, I cried and said, "Who will take care of me?". He hugged me and said "You will find someone but right now you have me."
Don't assume that everyone on this site was married. Don and I were soulmates together for 21 years. A piece of paper was not necessary to know our true love for one another. If I ever do marry, it will be for the first time.
I am moving forward with my life, albeit slowly. Have been on some very bad dates, some good dates, and made many new friends. I know my new friends would make him smile.
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| 4/15/2009 5:19:00 AM |
Spouse's wishes |
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rosmba
Hagerstown, MD
age: 53
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never in a million years did I suppose that she would not only die so young, but that she would die before me so we never discussed this. I want a woman in my life, but I will never re-marry, but not because she wouldn't want me to. I've been married, more than once. I feel that if you need marriage to have a relationship, then you don't have a relationship, you have a contract. I prefer to have a relationship where we're together because we want to be together, not because a contract says we have to be.
[Edited 4/15/2009 5:24:47 AM PST]
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| 5/26/2009 9:42:49 PM |
Spouse's wishes |
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sprblkhwk
Villa Ridge, MO
age: 50
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We'd always told each other that if something happened to one of us the other should grieve a few months and then move on. We didn't have any deeper expectations than that.
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| 5/26/2009 10:17:45 PM |
Spouse's wishes |
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ms_lowery
Lincoln, IL
age: 54
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We had discussed it,since he was dieing of cancer he said, he wanted me to find someone and move on, be happy......
I'm trying.....praying and trying,I'm honestly,"In Jesus' capable Hands"
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| 5/27/2009 5:43:03 AM |
Spouse's wishes |
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lothlore
Greensburg, PA
age: 54
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Had that discussion a few times with my wife and we both were very clear on that with
each other,we would want our Beloved to be happy again and be open to Loving again.
Much easier to say than do,at least initially,but have dated some since that time and
it did get better. Certainly open to Loving/being in love again if it comes along. I
Definitely would have wanted Mary to do that,if I had died first.
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| 6/25/2009 9:49:11 PM |
Spouse's wishes |
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letsplay54143
Marinette, WI
age: 61
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If your spouce truly loved you how could they want you to be alone the rest of your life? If they did not love you enough to wish for your future happiness should you really worrie about what they wanted?
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| 6/26/2009 7:46:39 PM |
Spouse's wishes |
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juicyfemale69
Bloomington, IL
age: 46
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we never talked about it we just assumed we would be together "forever" and then two months ago he upped and passed away from a heartattack I didnt even get a chance to say goodby. I know no man can replace him but I really dont want to spend the rest of my life alone either and I dont think that he would want me to either. Dwaine was my one and only true love, soulmate, huband.
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