forgiving a ex 16

3/2/2009 8:56:12 PM	forgiving a ex
satinsky2 Charlotte, NC age: 60	I HAD to finally forgive but never forget. I did this for myself. I was tired of spending hours each day thinking about him and all the mean shit he did to me. So, now if I even think of him at all, it never lasts more than a minute.
3/4/2009 6:31:45 PM	forgiving a ex
elfman Oklahoma City, OK age: 42	i have been where you are my ex-wife cheated on me in nov 2005 and left me for the boy dec 23, 2005. it took me a long time to forgive her for it and 3 years to get over her. i know that realizing that it was a selfish act on her part helped me. also talking to a counselor helped alot , so i could get out my feelings. just so you know it's okay to see a counselor, it does'nt mean you have mental problems. if you pray, do it alot and even pray for help to forgive her, it truly helps. good luck and life will get better , i know it , because i was once where you are now. don't give up and just because you may still love her does'nt mean you have to like her or the things she's done or does. also forgiving her will help in your own healing process.
3/4/2009 6:45:33 PM	forgiving a ex
trublu5ft2 Saint Joseph, TN age: 52	You are not getting back at her or getting revenge by not forgiving her.. Trust me, your forgiveness means nothing to her. You are only hurting yourself. The more you let her know how she hurt you, the more gratifying it is to her. Is that what you want? Don't give her that satisfaction. Get your divorce with a smaile and move on.
3/4/2009 9:07:04 PM	forgiving a ex
kathy5311 Jackson, GA age: 41	Personally, I don't see a need to forgive my ex for what he did to my children and I. The part about hurting me isn't so bad.... but how can a man abandon his children? I don't see a need to ever forgive him for that. I'm just glad he's gone. My Dad told me early on that I should never be angry at him because he did me a huge favor. He gave me the most beautiful children a woman could ever dream of having, then he left so that I could raise them the way I wanted them to be raised. That just made such perfect sense to me. So... I'm not angry at him.... but I don't forgive him. I don't know if that will make sense to anyone else... but it works for me.
3/5/2009 11:59:26 AM	forgiving a ex
unique14u Roanoke, VA age: 55	I say forgive her and move on ... it is a total waste of time not to do so ... once you have truly give her your forgiveness you will see your life becomes more enjoyable and you just might be ready to give it another try with a woman that will not treat you in that way. Besides that you are commanded to forgive just as you have been forgiven. Just let it go !! Its that simple
3/10/2009 4:35:40 PM	forgiving a ex
rdy4achange Bankston, AL age: 35	This is where I see that I am different from many of you. I feel no need to forgive a man who so completely destroyed my life. He remains adamant to this day that he was justified in what he did. Why should I forgive someone who shows absolutely no remorse for his actions? Anyone who cant see just what infidelity does to another human being is devoid of feeling and therfore in my opinion...doesnt deserve forgiveness. If that makes me "bitter" then so be it.
3/10/2009 6:08:30 PM	forgiving a ex
paulieg1 New Lenox, IL age: 54	Actually, time is what you need. You may not forgive or forget, and remember what was done to you, and many of us, was not acceptable or justifiable. All I know is how I felt for almost a year after my divorce. It was like I couldn't think about anything other than that he cheated on me most of the years we were married! You'll never figure it out, and they don't even have the answer, so eventually, you'll say to yourself, "what's the point"? What continue to dwell on such hurtful thoughts. I'm glad there weren't any children involved in my situation, because there's absolutely no reason to ever be in contact again. My best wishes to you.........
3/11/2009 2:12:00 AM	forgiving a ex
th6231 Point Pleasant Beach, NJ age: 61 online now!	Don't be a sap--stick with a lawyer---you will lose out big time because you didn't. She wants it friendly?? So she doesn't have to pay--that's the reason. A cheat is a low life--immature, dishonest, disrespectful person--screw her and the horse she rode in on. Forgive?? All you are is smarter. Move on and be happy--stop worrying about your past. Now you know better!!!
3/11/2009 10:52:10 AM	forgiving a ex
richbabdy Ellenwood, GA age: 52	Hi there, I was married for 3 years,(only six months of it was ok). I have re examined the situation and what i have learned is this. These people did not care at all, the only want to be your friend to lend on you. Because they will reap what they sow, they need a fool (caring person) to lend on after they get rejected. Let her go and I am letting my ex go in mind. They did not care then and they will not care after.
3/11/2009 5:10:40 PM	forgiving a ex
graceypoo Beverly, MA age: 47	The thing that sucks about a cheater is that he/she makes you feel like you're not good enough. In order for you to move on, you need to look at yourself and see that you ARE! It's really hard to do, but you can do it!! You may never forgive her. Just love yourself so you can trust someone else. OOh...definitely get a lawyer!!!! [Edited 3/11/2009 5:12:49 PM PST]
3/11/2009 5:49:00 PM	forgiving a ex
chicky54 Chester, VA age: 56	I am reading a great book on forgiveness and I need it, I need to gorgive myself as well as my ex and a few other people I have had resentment for a long time, Forgiving myself is hard ,making a bad choice of marrying someone so incompatiable and I settled for less than what I wanted, but there was a huge effort on my part and to make it work, you cant change people, and I soon discovered this man had alot of secrets I didnt know and even though he was a great guy, he put forth little effort in the marriage and wanted it to last, now 2 people got hurt, so I have to forgive me and him, its important to get rid of the bitterness, the stress of starting over, selling my home, losing my job, friends all in 14 months and him wanting to come back and absolutely refusing to acknowledge he did anything wrong, I married this man twice ,I loved him but was never happy with his role as a husband , he was a much better friend, now all the stress has helped alot with my heart attack ,tension,always unhappy, hes moved on ,dissapointed but moved on pretty fast, now im in rehab for a massive heart attack and trying to rebuild my life so Forgivness is real important to me and I ask God everyday to help me so I can have a happy and healthy life and I wont run my sisters crazy hearing all about my misery
3/11/2009 6:00:07 PM	forgiving a ex
sensual_latin Pleasanton, CA age: 42	Quote from superhero1976: im trying in vein to forgive my ex for cheating on me its almost been a year since we seperated she wants to do the divorce without lawyers and be freindly but i cant do this because i havent forgiven her In my opinion, forgiveness is the FIRST step to moving on. Forgiveness doesn't mean you're agreeing with what she did, forgiveness doesn't mean you're giving her a second chance. Forgiveness simply means you're letting it all go so you can move on with your life. If we don't forgive, we end up carrying those negative baggage with us everywhere we go and attracting that same type of people into our lives over and over again. I forgive immediately because I don't like to carry baggage that will only attract the wrong type of people into my life. Chin Up m2c
3/11/2009 7:51:59 PM	forgiving a ex
freakboi4u Victorville, CA age: 22	well its kind of hard to forgive your ex wife when she constantly stalks you, with no remorse over what she did to you, in her mind you are her property and she can't respect you enough to let you move on with your life even though she's the one that cheated on me and lied to me thoughout my prison term ive tried to forgive her but she has no shame whatsoever and constantly threatens the girls that i start talking to... ive had to change my number multiple times because she somehow gets my number.. but i know that karma is a btch and she will eventually get hers... my advice for you is to do what i did and get a good lawer because if you let your emotions get to you she will f*k u over.. BIG TIME the truth is that some people cannot deal with breaking up ... but be mature about it, after all we are mature enough to gwet married, so why not be mature enough to end it peacefully while at the same time protecting yourself and the ones you love... what do u think?
3/14/2009 9:31:46 AM	forgiving a ex
lilmissala1957 Hartselle, AL age: 52	forgiveness takes time. And I like what the one poster said learn to forgive you first.
3/15/2009 6:13:32 PM	forgiving a ex
sun_shine51 West Monroe, LA age: 57	It took me a long while (about 2 yrs of therapy) before I could let go of all the mental abuse, and forgive, but I pray for him daily now. I realized he was just sick, it was a learned behavior that he did not want to change. I do know I will not allow mental abuse ever again from anyone. I have the power to control that with God's help.

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