| 3/1/2009 11:38:32 PM |
I need Space? |
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photodude111
Sedona, AZ
age: 45 online now!
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I have hear so many people that say i need my own personal space. I want to be in a relationship but i need my space. Is that really the case or are they really not into the person that they are with. This post is not a self help for me, just asking.
In past relationships, I use that line, I am currently seeing someone that I just love hanging out with. For me my space is when i am away working in sedona or not chilling with her.
So my question is You spend most of your life alone, when you are in a committed relationship, how much space do you need to survive. iam not talking joined at the hi 24/7!
Karl in Sedona
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| 3/2/2009 3:42:37 AM |
I need Space? |
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curves385
Saint Petersburg, FL
age: 38
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Well personally I am good either way. I happily give a guy any space he needs to hang out with his friends or whatever he needs. Some people especially after being single for a while might need more space than others. Personally I like to have my guy around, been lonely too long. I enjoy spending time with that special someone, though I am sure there are still times I may need to just hang out with my friends.
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| 3/2/2009 3:56:41 AM |
I need Space? |
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lilmissala1957
Hartselle, AL
age: 51
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I just don't want someone smothering me all the time. When I talk about space...ok lets use this scenario. He goes to work and I am home all day. I am not one to sit on my rear all day. I clean and when I clean I crank my music up and I don't like to be interrupted. If he is calling me every half hour to "see what I am doing" he is getting into my space. Alright how about this...I am going for a girls day out with my best friend. We love thrift stores and antique shops. He is calling every half hour to "see where I am at" and to talk about stupid stuff just to keep me to himself. He is in my space.
I don't call my man on his job. They don't pay him to talk to me. If I call him on the job he knows it is an emergency. If he wants to go fishing or hunting I don't raise cain and insist he stay home and crochet with me.
I respect my mate and ask the same treatment. He also needs his space. His own hobbies.
I do make time for my mate. I even have kind of unwritten rules with my best friend. Unless it is an emergency we do not call each other after the mate gets in from work or on week ends. That is their time together. And I do not want to go out or away from my mate when he is home though I may not stay in the same room with him. Its called respect I think.
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| 3/2/2009 4:22:39 AM |
I need Space? |
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awakeing
Walled Lake, MI
age: 36
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I'm the same as the pretty lady above me.
I've got things to get done I'm going to tell him and then tell
him when it's ok to get ahold of me by giving a time that I'll be done.
I really prefer us to have quality time over quantity. I wouldn't expect
him to spend every waking moment on "us". I've got goals and I am sure he
will too. We both need time apart to work on those goals.
What will make me feel good is when we do spend time together and we
then share what we've learned or experienced and have fun together.
I try to show that I am grateful for the time he's willing to give me
by respecting the time he needs for other things. I hope he will do the
same for me.
I wouldn't want to feel pressured to please him and I wouldn't want him to
feel like he had to please me 24/7. It's very important that we both
have balance in our lives.
Besides how cool is it when they go off and do something that they
succeed at and then come back to you with a big smile on their face
because they .. hit the target, broke a personal record, learned a new
topic, or picked up a new joke that he wants to share with me.
He walks in the door after handling his business and I just want to
hug and kiss him!
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| 3/2/2009 5:18:43 AM |
I need Space? |
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nolybam
Barrie, ON
age: 42
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I have hear so many people that say i need my own personal space. I want to be in a relationship but i need my space. Is that really the case or are they really not into the person that they are with. This post is not a self help for me, just asking.
In past relationships, I use that line, I am currently seeing someone that I just love hanging out with. For me my space is when i am away working in sedona or not chilling with her.
So my question is You spend most of your life alone, when you are in a committed relationship, how much space do you need to survive. iam not talking joined at the hi 24/7!
Karl in Sedona
What I do know is I need my space, hate telling someone where I am exactly all the time, when I go out, leave me alone. When I go out with someone, don't call me to ask me stupid questions...
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| 3/2/2009 5:47:53 AM |
I need Space? |
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msbevzie
Oregon, OH
age: 45
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Space for me could simply be cleaning the house... doing laundry, simple things like that...because when I am in that SPACE I am relaxed...and it's like MY time...I use to tell my ex as he couldn't leave me the heck alone for 5 minutes his controlling self IF I am doing these things please don't ask such a stupid question...what are you doing? As far as being around someone I truly care for...I am sure we'd have no problemssometimes for me like I said its just simple things other than that I love to be near MY man!
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| 3/2/2009 6:39:13 AM |
I need Space? |
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wolfi
Albuquerque, NM
age: 43
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'I need my space' = 'You'll do for a FWB/wallet for a while, but I'm holding out for Brad Pitt the Brain Surgeon/Test Pilot/Gang Member/Drug Dealer/Movie Star who I can't live without'.
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| 3/2/2009 7:30:43 AM |
I need Space? |
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photodude111
Sedona, AZ
age: 45 online now!
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Hanging out with friends I understand. having coffee with a family member get that too. I don't understand the don't call me or don't bother me rule. If I am going along during my day and i feel like calling i just do, it's n a needy thing, it just usually a love thing.
I guess my other question is why is it most women can talk openly wit their girlfriends but not with the guy they share their bed with. I have been in clubs where I see the girl's night out in full swing.
I really do understand work and chores and so one, when I am done with my day, nothing better than cuddling up with the one I love. I don't think if your man calls you a few times a day it controlling, a lot of women talk to their girlfriends at least that much.
So again is it space or are we just not happy with the person we are with. I would think that if you are totally into someone then it won't matter.
Karl
[Edited 3/2/2009 7:47:52 AM PST]
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| 3/2/2009 7:41:35 AM |
I need Space? |
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foxy_woman_49
Omaha, NE
age: 50 online now!
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If someone I was seeing said to me dont call,dont bother me..you can bet I wont be at all!
As far as talking with your partner about everything...I do so I dont understand how some cant,dont or wont.
If he needs his space as in his hobby ..not a problem as long as its not all the time where it prevents us from having our time
I like my space to at times..just not all the time
My space doesnt involve girls night out,nothing like that at all
I like OUR space 
[Edited 3/2/2009 7:51:22 AM PST]
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| 3/2/2009 7:43:47 AM |
I need Space? |
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spankdemnky
Florence, MS
age: 53
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I think "space" changes from day to day. I have been single, as in (not married) for over 20yrs, and I believe we tend to get a little set in our ways. I have had several 2-4yr relationships, but the main difference is, I could always go home or send her home since we were NOT married. There are times I would rather be alone than with a g/f. It has absolutely nothing to do with my feelings for her, but sometimes that is hard to explain to your girl.
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| 3/2/2009 7:51:21 AM |
I need Space? |
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windwhispers
Auburn, WA
age: 39
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wow some real crazy answers here.
being alone for a long time. makes me think karl
and i would just be happier then shit if they called me every fifteen min.
lets me know there thinking of me.
second if i needed space away from them.why the hell am i with them.
my partner where ever she is.will be by my side for ever.
unless she has something to do.i have never and would never say i need my space.
JMO
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| 3/2/2009 8:00:48 AM |
I need Space? |
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darlinshel
Clayton, NC
age: 40
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For me it's just to keep from being smothered. I love to spend time with a guy I am dating, but want to make sure he doesn't expect every single free moment I have to be with him. At times, I may end up with him during all my free time, but need to know I have freedom to do other things as well.
Hmm me saying it now comes from in the past being with someone so clingy that I could not breathe - was a control thing.
Just saw your second post...I do open up to who I'm dating and talk about anything and everything - if he's receptive to that. It's also ok to call during the day, as long as it's not constant and disruptive and getting me in trouble.
Hi Karl
[Edited 3/2/2009 8:03:48 AM PST]
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| 3/2/2009 8:01:51 AM |
I need Space? |
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fishenguy
Santa Rosa, CA
age: 49
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I think everyone needs their own space. But I think a lot of people go about it the wrong way. When I need my space I just go hunting or fishing. There really isn't any need to tell someone you care about that you need your space. Just make plans and do something alone. If a person you are in a relationship with tells you they need their own space, they are telling you they don't want to be with you. I have learned that when a woman says this she is planning on ending the relationship. If she gives me a set time I can call her I know she is getting ready to end the relationship. Heck, telling someone when they can call you is controlling you. So now when I hear it I just end it for her.
[Edited 3/2/2009 8:07:06 AM PST]
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| 3/2/2009 8:04:42 AM |
I need Space? |
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beanz991
Houston, TX
age: 41
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I have hear so many people that say i need my own personal space. I want to be in a relationship but i need my space. Is that really the case or are they really not into the person that they are with. This post is not a self help for me, just asking.
In past relationships, I use that line, I am currently seeing someone that I just love hanging out with. For me my space is when i am away working in sedona or not chilling with her.
So my question is You spend most of your life alone, when you are in a committed relationship, how much space do you need to survive. iam not talking joined at the hi 24/7!
Karl in Sedona
Really depends on the person..In past relationships I have needed A LOT of space....with my current one (which is the best I have had as far as compatibility goes)....I really don't need any..I'm happy for her to be around whenever/where ever I go....first time I have experienced that as I am usually extremely independent as far as 'time' goes.
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| 3/2/2009 8:54:08 AM |
I need Space? |
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photodude111
Sedona, AZ
age: 45 online now!
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Thanks gang, it is really different how the sexes think. For me I love being around the person that i am with. That has not always been the case.
Thanks for all of the post so far
karl
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