bmwdoc
Peoria, AZ
age: 45
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Hello again, this is what my current status is on Why Love is blind. 
As we all know, love is an emotion, just like hate and fear. Surprisingly they all bond together at times. I have read the responses to my first posting and see that many people are afraid to be honest with themselves about their feelings and the ones they have or had toward their partner. 
For many of us we have had relationships that ended on very bad terms. Maybe someone cheated or just realized they wanted more. Maybe they were unhappy due to the stresses in their own lives and took out their frustration on you. I can list numerous reasons but I will let you do that. 
The fact is real loves requires several things; Trust: if you doubt your spouse, your relationship is doomed. Honesty: How can we have a loving relationship when we are afraid if we do not reveal ourselves, are thoughts, dreams, etc: Purity: we always look for faults in others instead of looking at are own first. These are just a few examples, I am sure you will add more. 
Is it better to love and lost than to never love at all? NO!! We tend to confuse the word love to many times without examining the reason for it. When you have True Love, nothing in the world can tear it apart. To many times we meet someone and feel what seems to be love and it all ends in failure. It’s not you fault, it is why we are only human. Many of us confuse love with lust. Yes it could be great for awhile but it never lasts. 
I know many of you have been hurt in the past, as have I. We do not want to give anymore. As I have learned, if you can not give, how can you expect to receive.
I am not saying if you’re in an abusive relationship to try and salvage it. Get the hell out! Once an abuser always an abuser. We call this with women, Battered women syndrome. But did you know Men are abused too. The only reason you rarely hear of it is because of our pride. There is someone out there for everyone. 
Many of us are just afraid of committing to someone or even letting someone get close due to the fear of getting hurt again. Just take it slow and remember that new person was not the one who inflicted your pain. If you carry the past with you, how will you ever know who they really are. Quit looking for their similarities to your past and if it does not work out, Move on. Just do not give up! 
I will share some of my personal history to make this point. I have been with some outstanding women in my life and I pushed them away. I was to busy thinking of how they were going to hurt me just because I was hurt before. I more than likely missed out on true happiness and hurt them, just out of my own fear. When I look at older couples that have been together for 30, 40. 50+ years. I ask myself why cant I have that and how did they accomplish it. 
The answer was right there. They loved each other so much they worked for it and keep it alive. They did not leave at the first sign of trouble, together they found the solution. You see every relationship has its ups and downs, you just have to communicate. In today’s society it is easier to just walk away. I wish like many of you to meet someone that I can love and love me back for no other reason but knowing that if we close our eyes we will always see each other and together we are one. 
I was with someone for several years, she lived in my house and all she wanted was to be with me. I did not care; I traveled around the world, lived in several places, and dated many other women. She still did not care and she was faithful to me the entire time. Did I love her? Yes! I just could not commit to her because she dated my cousin years before. One day during my travels, I stopped at the house which I did frequently over the years and to her, we were still always involved. Anyway on this day I sat and asked her, why do you stay here and wait for me, you know how I live my life. Her answer was directly to the point. She said I am in Love with you and though it hurts me to know you’re with someone else, I can love no other. After that I gave her my last kiss and said goodbye and sent her back to her parents home 2000 miles away. I had to let her go even though I hurt her for I could not commit and did not her wasting her life waiting for me. 
I was not until years later and several failed relationships when it hit me, I was an idiot, I had that special love and was to juvenile to realize it. She was the one and I let a stupid encounter from years before destroy it. Yes this was a long time ago and I am older and wiser now. I ran into her about six years ago we went and had coffee and talked. I apologized for be such and asshole and for being so blind. She kissed me on my forehead and told me I forgive you, I am happy now and then she said goodbye and I never saw her again. How blind was I, she was what I searched for and never new I already had. If she reads this I wish you the best. 
Sometimes you don’t have to look for love, it may have already found you. And you, just as I was, you to may be to Blind to see it.
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