| 3/11/2009 9:30:01 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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googlebite
Miami, FL
age: 43
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Guys will wink at me and I'll check out their profile. We look compatible. I'm thinking, hey, let's meet over a coffee at Starbucks, right, see if there's chemistry? When I ask to meet, mum's the word. No response. What's up with that?
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| 3/11/2009 9:30:52 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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beanz991
Houston, TX
age: 43
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Mcdonalds coffee is half the price and just as tasty.
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| 3/11/2009 9:32:21 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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wolfi
Albuquerque, NM
age: 45
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They are either cyber-phantoms who do not exist or internet nerds who are unable to function away from the keyboard.
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| 3/11/2009 9:34:44 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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lilmissala1957
Hartselle, AL
age: 53
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yeah I have had a few to do that too. I just mark it up to their loss and move on.
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| 3/11/2009 9:35:00 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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ilvstlrs2
New Church, VA
age: 39
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I don't know. Maybe asking to meet right away is a turn-off, maybe they're just playing around. Try just a few emails to get to know them before asking to meet.
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| 3/11/2009 9:36:54 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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salvo36
East Meadow, NY
age: 38
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Most men in here are most likely testing the waters to find a women for an instant hookup!Or..it could be they are not telling you the truth about something you both have discussed.So when you finally decide to give this guy a shot...he backs out right away figuring there has got to be a women on here who will want the quick fix...so forget you.
It's sad but true...keep trying..there are men out here who are for real...let's face it..men and women are built and think very differently.
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| 3/11/2009 9:44:12 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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googlebite
Miami, FL
age: 43
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The way I look at it, you will never find out if there's chemistry if you don't meet in person. Coffee is just that -- not marriage, not commitment, nothing. It's just a conversation much like you would have with someone at the checkout counter or on the bus or wherever you might be and you strike up chit-chat. 
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| 3/11/2009 9:49:32 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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ilvstlrs2
New Church, VA
age: 39
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I agree with you, google, but not everyone thinks like that, I guess. And not everyone is outgoing enough to strike up conversations with strangers. My ex-husband would get embarrassed when I started conversations with the checkout person at the grocery store, for example.
And like one of the above posters mentioned, they could just be looking for a quick hook-up, and realize you're not that type.
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| 3/11/2009 10:00:17 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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drummaster777
Auburn, WA
age: 35
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Because going out to coffee is boring and something generally only women do. Guys don't go out to coffee with each other. I can get to know you well enough to know whether I'm interested in you by talking to you on the phone probably. If I'm going to spend actual time in person with you, I'm going to want to do something that's not mind-numbingly boring and awkward like sitting in an over-priced coffee shop.
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| 3/11/2009 10:00:35 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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missmmeoftheday
Brooklyn, NY
age: 45
|
Are you suggesting a meet on the heels of just a wink? I'm not sure...
I would email once or twice before suggesting a meet... maybe you are seeming overly anxious?
I'm all for meeting someone- but I want to have some kind of contact before I put on mascara. JMO
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| 3/11/2009 10:08:03 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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wahoo4u2
Nashville, TN
age: 63
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Maybe lots of folks are on here because they are socially inept. Just a guess. It could be that they really don't like meeting people, are not meeting people out in the world because of it, and are here where they can sit rather anonymously and pretend that they would really like to have a relationship with someone. When those people have their bluff called, they freeze and cannot respond.
BTW, if not for the drive from Nashville to Miami, I'd have a cup of coffee with you anytime.  
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| 3/11/2009 10:09:47 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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bassguy1966
Pepperell, MA
age: 44
|
I think that some people like to email a few times, maybe talk on the phone a few times, and then maybe agree to meet. I know I prefer to at the very least have a phone conversation prior to meeting. There have been several occaisions where the phone conversation wasn't exactly smooth, and hence why we never went out and met. Taking the time to talk a few times can save you from an awkward meeting.
On the flip side, yes, there are a lot of fakes out there, who like to fade into the sunset when they get called out to meet or talk. Just the way it is online....
[Edited 3/11/2009 10:12:32 AM ]
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| 3/11/2009 10:21:30 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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evileddy
Ottawa, ON
age: 37
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Because going out to coffee is boring and something generally only women do. Guys don't go out to coffee with each other. I can get to know you well enough to know whether I'm interested in you by talking to you on the phone probably. If I'm going to spend actual time in person with you, I'm going to want to do something that's not mind-numbingly boring and awkward like sitting in an over-priced coffee shop.
Ya!!
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| 3/11/2009 10:23:48 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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googlebite
Miami, FL
age: 43
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So let me follow up on your comment, Drummeister. The point you're making is you would talk with someone on the phone a few times before meeting, and then meet up for a drink instead? Is that more along the lines of what you would suggest?
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| 3/11/2009 10:27:55 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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kinkycapitalist
Atlanta, GA
age: 56
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The steam from the coffee makes my makeup run and besides one of those Cubano SOlos takes 0.5 seconds to drink.
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| 3/11/2009 10:54:01 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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crgzero
Tulsa, OK
age: 36
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If a woman wants to meet me with little to no communication first, then I kick her to the curb.
Hello, dumbasses, HELLOOOOOOOOOOO, women can be psycho stalkers to.
Anyone would be stupid to meet so quickly. I carry a gun and I still wouldn't meet a woman unless we'd talked quite a bit online first.
Yes you could just as easily meet a nutjob IRL, however thanks to the internet the psycho's tend to prefer to stalk the internet where the anonymity keeps them safe till they find a target.
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| 3/11/2009 11:07:20 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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ladyog
The Dalles, OR
age: 55
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It would take many e-mails and talking on the phone before I would meet some guy.. and I agree with the guys...coffee is boring and I prefer to meet at night as I'm a night person. More than one cup of coffee gives me the jitters..Now maybe a drink would be good...
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| 3/11/2009 11:40:51 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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drummaster777
Auburn, WA
age: 35
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So let me follow up on your comment, Drummeister. The point you're making is you would talk with someone on the phone a few times before meeting, and then meet up for a drink instead? Is that more along the lines of what you would suggest?
If I'm just looking for sex from you, that's what I would probably do (even though I don't drink). If I think you have potential and we actually have some common interests, I might want to do something else, something a little more fun. Going out to coffee is something women do with their girlfriends and their gay guy friends. It's pretty much the most boring, unimaginative, and awkward way to have a first date.
But yes, I would never meet anyone in person I hadn't talked with on the phone at least once.
[Edited 3/11/2009 11:52:23 AM ]
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| 3/11/2009 12:22:39 PM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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barbaraajo
Reston, VA
age: 54
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There is nothing difficult about meeting for coffee unless you make it that way...
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| 3/11/2009 12:26:42 PM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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photoartistguy
Minneapolis, MN
age: 41
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I have the same problem.
Does our profiles have anything to do with it?
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| 3/11/2009 12:33:06 PM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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blueskiestwo
Grantsburg, WI
age: 39
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Are they relatively close by to you..cuzz driving 100..to..1000 miles just for coffee at starbucks even if starbucks is there favorite might be a tad much for them so soon..if distance is a problem..try to makeit sound more feasible..by a weekend in your area..this way..they get more bang for the buck if there is no connection made..or just waite gain a better connection..then take that step.jmo though..goodluck in your search though.
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| 3/11/2009 12:33:29 PM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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leftyl8
Waverly, NY
age: 45
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Because going out to coffee is boring and something generally only women do. Guys don't go out to coffee with each other. I can get to know you well enough to know whether I'm interested in you by talking to you on the phone probably. If I'm going to spend actual time in person with you, I'm going to want to do something that's not mind-numbingly boring and awkward like sitting in an over-priced coffee shop.
exactly. i have a coffee maker in my home. im not gonna spend 5$ on a cup of coffee when i could spend that on worms and go fishing. coffee shops are boring. theres much better places to go to get to know someone. maybe if you asked him to meet you in a little town diner for lunch with that good down home cooking, ya might have better luck. nothing says i hope youre a rich guy like take me to starbucks.
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| 3/11/2009 12:35:17 PM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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mismatch
Cleveland, TN
age: 54
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If I'm just looking for sex from you, that's what I would probably do (even though I don't drink). If I think you have potential and we actually have some common interests, I might want to do something else, something a little more fun. Going out to coffee is something women do with their girlfriends and their gay guy friends. It's pretty much the most boring, unimaginative, and awkward way to have a first date.
But yes, I would never meet anyone in person I hadn't talked with on the phone at least once.
who have you been having coffee with that traumatized you this way?  having coffee can be fun...especially if you get one of those delicious pastries to go with it...i say bored people are usually themselves unimaginative...
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| 3/11/2009 12:41:22 PM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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coolhandluke462
Salem, OR
age: 49
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I just drove 150 miles one way for a cup of coffee, it turned in to dinner then more coffee then 150 miles home
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| 3/11/2009 12:47:31 PM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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ladyog
The Dalles, OR
age: 55
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I'm with Lefty.... I'd much rather go fishin.....maybe bring a cooler with some brews and something to munch on...I love fishin.. and if you catch anything..looks like you got a dinner date...
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| 3/11/2009 12:49:44 PM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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missmmeoftheday
Brooklyn, NY
age: 45
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I don't know that the issue is necessarily the coffee...
if someone sent you a wink and you replied back Hey... Let's Meet!!! for coffee, or fishing, or whatever...
Well, that's a little too much, IMO.... All you have is a wink... not even a Hi, how you doin.... you've established no real contact.
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| 3/11/2009 12:55:01 PM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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drummaster777
Auburn, WA
age: 35
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who have you been having coffee with that traumatized you this way? having coffee can be fun...especially if you get one of those delicious pastries to go with it...i say bored people are usually themselves unimaginative...
I'm anything but unimaginative, trust me. Sitting in a coffee shop having to listen to Jack Johnson is not my idea of fun. Not to mention the fact that I don't even like coffee very much. That's probably weird for someone that lives in Seattle, but it's true.
[Edited 3/11/2009 12:57:39 PM ]
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| 3/15/2009 1:00:17 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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cruise427
Los Angeles, CA
age: 42
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most guys i know , love to eat.
you might have better luck, with
ham n eggs, or a cheeseburger
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| 3/15/2009 1:12:23 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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upnorthlady
Cloquet, MN
age: 46
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Cyber nerds for sure... or their loss, but don't take it personally. I mean how could you if they have never met you.. You look like a beautiful lady and I can't imagine why a man would be a know show to meet you..
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| 3/15/2009 1:19:31 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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stress_test
Northport, WA
age: 46
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Oh bloody hell!
Who are you emailing? I suggest that you stop emailing idiots.
Tell ya what you do: Dress up really sexy and go to the supermarket and get stuff for dinner. Get a couple of crabs or lobster and mosey over to the produce section and select a guy who strikes you as attractive and ask him if he has any ideas for veggies with your crab. After he answers then ask him if we would like to go home with you and help prepare dinner.
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| 3/15/2009 6:06:09 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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chefgirl36
Palm Beach, FL
age: 38
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I think that some people like to email a few times, maybe talk on the phone a few times, and then maybe agree to meet. I know I prefer to at the very least have a phone conversation prior to meeting. There have been several occaisions where the phone conversation wasn't exactly smooth, and hence why we never went out and met. Taking the time to talk a few times can save you from an awkward meeting.
On the flip side, yes, there are a lot of fakes out there, who like to fade into the sunset when they get called out to meet or talk. Just the way it is online....
I totally agree
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| 3/15/2009 6:18:05 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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rocket000
Suwanee, GA
age: 52
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OP, In spite of a coffee date being "boring", it's easy, pain free, inexpensive and less time consuming than a meal. If you both like each other THAN you can extend the meeting or make plans for an actual date.
I've often read posts from men who are angry that they "wasted" time and money on an actual date that didn't lead to anything and they got "stuck" paying. I like the KISS principle, "keep it simple,stupid".
Many posters astutely noted that some people are not really on here to meet. The experts advise that if you have a few email exchanges, talk on the phone. Keep the conversation to 15 minutes or LESS. If you don't feel a connection, don't make plans. IF you DO, then plan a coffee meet or lunch and meet at a PUBLIC place. Sometimes "good email and phone" don't equate to a great in person meeting and sometimes they do. So many people wind up engaging in email and phone marathons and are disappointed upon meeting face to face. Again if you've only invested a little time with a few emails and one conversation it won't be a big loss if they don't want to meet and/or you meet and are disappointed.
Your time is your most valuable asset.
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| 3/15/2009 6:22:39 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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thunderstorms62
Endicott, NY
age: 48
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Coffee at Starbucks? Not exactly an original idea
there OP. So, if you were to start talking about thermo-
nuclear chicken wings and sharing a pitcher of beer...
you might get some better results.
That's just my $ .02.
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| 3/15/2009 6:23:49 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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bbw46reader
Frederick, MD
age: 48
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There are more people that will chat forever and agree to anything - even agree to meeting IRL - but never intend to actually meet, than there are people that will actually show up. I've had them delete their profiles, block me, go invisible, or just never respond again. It's especially baffling when they have done the pursuing, until you realize for how many people the emails and chats are the substitute for meeting in real life.
I have come to prefer meeting as quickly as possible. I had one guy accept a next day invitation to a public place I was going be while working. Way cool.
There are several threads lately/currently on these 'disappearing acts'. Some sort of pandemic.
Edit: I also don't want a 'date' on first meeting and I don't want any activity that is not public. Something brief and public is best when there's the possibility you will want to end the meeting as soon as possible. lol Also I don't drink alcohol so a coffee meet is perfect for me.
[Edited 3/15/2009 6:30:30 AM ]
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| 3/15/2009 6:58:10 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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okaydude
Mesquite, TX
age: 54
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I'm with you OP. Meet as soon as you can. Whats with all ths psycho analyzing BS. Its a coffee for chrise sake.
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| 3/15/2009 7:08:04 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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honestami
Mantua, OH
age: 55
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Coffee or a drink is ok with me. If they drink,,,a quiet lounge,,,then I can see if they pound down 10 drinks in an hour and I can say GOODBYE!
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| 3/15/2009 7:14:17 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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wolfi
Albuquerque, NM
age: 45
|
Drop the profile age to about 28 or so, forget that you have kids (if you do), post a few pictures in bikinis or lingerie - that'll get 'em to Starbucks.
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| 3/15/2009 7:30:18 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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skeptyc
Plato, MO
age: 35
|
exactly. i have a coffee maker in my home. im not gonna spend 5$ on a cup of coffee when i could spend that on worms and go fishing. coffee shops are boring. theres much better places to go to get to know someone. maybe if you asked him to meet you in a little town diner for lunch with that good down home cooking, ya might have better luck. nothing says i hope youre a rich guy like take me to starbucks.
Lefty
Your response surprised me. You're gonna spend a whopping $10 if you pay for it as a "date"; that's cheap. You may have a coffee maker in your house but the coffee isn't the point; the conversation and being face to face is.
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| 3/15/2009 7:41:03 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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curves385
Saint Petersburg, FL
age: 40
|
I am into meeting but I do like to talk on the phone first. Want to know if we have anything to talk about in person. Emails and even IM's can be thought out and carefully written. Talking on the phone can give you a better idea and I do like meeting within a week not waiting. There are players out there we have all met them. The guy I am dating now we started talking emails Monday through the site, Tuesday to IM, phone Wednesday and met Friday night. I think it worked out well and we have a connection so who knows.
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| 3/15/2009 7:46:12 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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leftyl8
Waverly, NY
age: 45
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Lefty
Your response surprised me. You're gonna spend a whopping $10 if you pay for it as a "date"; that's cheap. You may have a coffee maker in your house but the coffee isn't the point; the conversation and being face to face is.
you missed my point. im not the kind of guy who gonna sit in some stuffy, upscale,overpriced coffeeshop in order to get to know someone. whether its 10$ or 100$, i would rather do something fun. if someone is that nervous and needs to meet in a public place, then i would much rather go to a park or something. sorry, im just a simple, kind of man.
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| 3/15/2009 8:43:48 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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stress_test
Northport, WA
age: 46
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Cheap bastards...
I would always insist on meeting in a public place and a cup of coffee is pretty neutral and inexpensive.
If after a cup of coffee you're both comfortable then you can always go for a walk.
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| 3/15/2009 8:49:26 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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jrebel
Manly, IA
age: 37
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Women might watch to much of that Law&Order and think everybody that steps outside will get violated maybe"just my opinion"
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| 3/15/2009 8:58:03 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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ic2beyurs2
Kingman, AZ
age: 50
|
So let me follow up on your comment, Drummeister. The point you're making is you would talk with someone on the phone a few times before meeting, and then meet up for a drink instead? Is that more along the lines of what you would suggest?
your catching on quick!
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| 3/15/2009 9:00:20 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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onechanceonly
Lithia Springs, GA
age: 48
|
 Woe is me - I don't drink coffee at all and really don't care for bars much. I'll simply never meet anyone in my entire life again!
I've been on this site 6 months or so and haven't talk to anyone enough to care to meet them yet AND I'm OK with it - it will happen and maybe, just maybe we'll meet at an ice cream shop - who can NOT BE HAPPY when sharing an ice cream on a warm summer day! 
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| 3/15/2009 9:12:24 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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akjustlmao
Anchorage, AK
age: 44
|
When you ask them to coffee do you have them bring their resume? Do you flirt with them and show a genuine intrest in who they are?
Wink does not = Coffee
Coffee is "Coffee" ... Let the wine flow a little, relax, let your hair down.
Just a thought
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| 3/15/2009 9:13:29 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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susansheart839
Canoga Park, CA
age: 91
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That has happened to me, too. Finally, they all confessed that they were either in a relationship or married.
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| 3/15/2009 9:57:54 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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msbevzie
Oregon, OH
age: 47
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They aren't sincere in meeting anyways just playing around
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| 3/15/2009 10:05:25 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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sundancer2624
Bayfield, CO
age: 59
|
Good Morning onechanceonly,
Keep your chin up!!! I never could get alcohol down and I'm not a big fan of coffee. I think there are at least 7-8 guys like that around the world somewhere. Sooooo you do have more than one-chance-only........
On topic
The fear, suspicion, paranoia is astounding. Granted,,, like all fears they do have some basis in reality, but come on.......
Here's the scenario I see,,, put into a different context. Actual vs. Virtual.
I'm at a social function (Dating site). I'm meeting different people and getting to know them as we exchange ideas with the group (profiles). I notice and absolutely stunning lady. I hear some insight as to what she thinks etc. and I find it intriguing. By some quirk of fate and a little maneuvering we end up facing each other. She smiles at me (Wink) and I say that I was impressed with her and would you like to go get a cup of coffee, ice cream cone (got ya covered onechanceonly), or drink, and share thoughts. Are you trying to tell me that you would draw back in horror and demand that I go home and write you e-mails first??? You may graciously defer the invite, but I have a hard time understanding how one ever expects to meet anyone dealing with such narrow, fear driven prerequisites.
Now I will be the first to warn others about the dangers of the world. I keep hearing how stalkers etc. permeate the internet. I agree. BUT where do you think these stalkers come from... Yep,,, you got it,,, THE REAL WORLD. The net is only an extension of the real world. I shudder to think that the ladies on these sites interrelate to guys in the real world as they do on these sites. If that was the case most times I would talk to someone I would receive no reply. Some would disappear in mid statement. Others would begin a rant that has no correlation to what we were talking about. There are frauds, phonies, users, sickos EVERYWHERE. The list goes onnnnnnnnnn. Why people tend to differentiate between online and reality is a complete mystery too me. The net is only a selective segment of our reality. It has no different designation. It has no different rules or guidelines and behaviors that we all wish we could impose. It is no less safer and no less more dangerous. It is the very same reality we work with every day minus a few dimensions. I'm all for caution but where do you draw the line? I also agree that the OP should use a bit more discretion when offering to meet,,,,, but based on many of the responses I wonder if we aren't just destroying our own adventures from the unwarranted fear of the unknown. Have we lost our spirit of adventure and traded it in for mediocre sense of security that in itself is an illusion?
OP,,, I applaud your sense of adventure and openness. To me you are a rare gem. With that being said, I hope you use great descretion. You're out there running with the big dogs while many sit on the porch wringing their hands in fear, and wondering why life is passing them by.
[Edited 3/15/2009 10:08:49 AM ]
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| 3/15/2009 10:10:03 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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rocket000
Suwanee, GA
age: 52
|
For those who don't want to pay for what you consider overpriced coffee, go to a diner or any fast food chain or meet for breakfast on the weekend or during the week if that works for you. This economy is rough. There are plenty of women that will happily pay their share but don't want to waste money either. The point is the first meeting is JUST that. A get together so you can give each other the once over. And NEVER meet at someone's home. This has nothing to do with being paranoid. This has everything to do with common sense and being responsible and cautious. What imbecile would suggest to their mother, sister, daughter or friend that they should get together at someone's home on a first date?! I don't care if you're a city slicker, country boy, redneck or white trash. Of course there are posters that no matter what suggestions are made they will continue to see the glass as half full.
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| 3/15/2009 10:26:00 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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sundancer2624
Bayfield, CO
age: 59
|
Here we go again!!!!!!
The issue is,,,,,,, the silence when confronted with actually having too meet. Not the price, location, or the safety/motivation/mindset that initiated the meet.
Ok some have brought up fear, married, etc. So why would any of you decline such an offer?????
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| 3/15/2009 10:27:55 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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rross
Lincoln, NE
age: 44
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i have met like 20 ladys and when they meet me for coffee they dont stay long and i never here from them again
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| 3/15/2009 10:28:53 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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goddess56
Tulsa, OK
age: 60
|
Cheap bastards...
I would always insist on meeting in a public place and a cup of coffee is pretty neutral and inexpensive.
If after a cup of coffee you're both comfortable then you can always go for a walk.
I'm with you on this one, stress! And who says it has to be Starbucks, anyway? At least here in Oklahoma we have lots of places where you can go and have coffee and sit across a table and get to know the person. An entire pot of coffee with free refills all night long will run about $3.00.
Most women (and I do hope I'm accurate on this one) are going to ask to meet in a public place for their own safety. I suggested coffee to a new friend yesterday. We met at the little diner of my choice, stayed for lunch, sat on the bench outside after lunch, and had a wonderful time! It was non-stressful, fun, relaxing and we parted with the knowledge that we will see each other again.
I would advise against meeting for drinks. Alcohol has a way of loosening inhibitions, and I think for the first meet-up, you need to have a few in place...
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| 3/15/2009 10:30:25 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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lord_anubis
Toms River, NJ
age: 40
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There are quite a few reasons and I can assure you you will not be able to pinpoint only one.
To some this place is like a playground where they come and play their fantasy, when faced with reality, they recoil.
To others it might just have something to do with fear.
Keep searching, you are bound to meet someone.
I would advise you to hook up with people when they have a "get together" this way you are with a group with no obligation and pretty much safe.
You're in Fl.
Ask Kfab when the next GTG is.
Good Luck.
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| 3/15/2009 10:38:30 AM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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milas83
Philadelphia, PA
age: 28
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They probably have something to hide, like a wife or a girl friend.
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| 3/15/2009 3:21:54 PM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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rocket000
Suwanee, GA
age: 52
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Sundancer is correct. This still supports the theory that one shouldn't waste their valuable time with email and telephone marathons. A few emails and a phone call are all that is necessary to determine if you have enough of a connection to meet. If someone pulls a disappearing act when it comes time to actually meet,you've not invested too much of your time. Don't try to figure it out. Just move on.
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| 3/15/2009 3:32:00 PM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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torisdad
Louisville, KY
age: 42
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I hate coffee myself.
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| 3/15/2009 3:44:26 PM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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wheels915
Mesa, AZ
age: 51
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i have met like 20 ladys and when they meet me for coffee they dont stay long and i never here from them again
maybe it's the hat , lose the hat
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| 3/15/2009 5:04:31 PM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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lighthouselady1
West Bloomfield, MI
age: 53
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LOL.....I am usually nervous enough as it is.....with too much coffee I start climbing the walls.....
NEVER attractive on a first meeting. 
OP, I'm sure it has been said, that on internet dating sites, many are just 'hiding behind a computer'.
If asked to 'get out from behind', they dive beneath their toadstools.
Croak. 
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| 3/15/2009 5:10:10 PM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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mag_eleven
New Port Richey, FL
age: 41
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cause coffee sucks...
mikey
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| 3/15/2009 6:11:19 PM |
What's so difficult about meeting over coffee? |
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sundancer2624
Bayfield, CO
age: 59
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OK I have a question.
The OP asked it but I'm going to push a little harder.
We seem to think that people just choke when faced with the reality of meeting. I guess I am wondering why people say that. I have my ideas but what are yours.
Obviously married folks are easy to understand not wanting to get brought out of their delusional closet,,, but why would a single person do it?
I have some ideas but I was wondering if I may be missing something. My thought is,,,
1) Total lack of self worth. which would include fear of rejection. Feeling ugly, insecure etc.
2) Possible "Player". But I would think a player would jump at the chance to continue the game.
3) Liar. If you were to meet them their lies would become very evident. I.E. height, weight, age, etc.
4)A stalker. Pretty lame because a good stalker is going to read your responses and delude you into thinking your doing everything correctly, no matter how long it takes.
5)Cyber nerds and socially inept....See #1
6) Only want sex.... Very likely and they aren't willing to invest anything interpersonal.
7)Coffee is boring, expensive, no fun etc. This one I find the most interesting. As pointed out earlier,,, the goal is to meet and explore the other person. I think too much emphases placed on the actual physical arena is telling to a degree. It would seem to me that the focus is on the scenery not the person. The entertainment needs to be supplied from the environment and not the person your meeting???? I usually avoid judgements but in this case it seems rather selfish. Perhaps I'm a bit strange but I would rather be locked up in a pig pen with an enthralling lady then go to Disney World with a dolt. Again I wonder,,, should the entertainment be provided by the environment or the person??? Granted it would be ideal to have both,,, but to limit ones ability to encounter a wonderful lady based on the scenery seems kinda counterproductive. One other viewpoint I have is that one may not be willing to participate on an interpersonal level as long as there is entertainment available elsewhere. Is it a safety issue? Is one more protected when one doesn't have to face another individual cold turkey? Kinda smacks of fear of intimacy too me.
By the way it could be coffee, fishing, a walk in the park etc. All sound great but I found it interesting that some deflected the issue and tried to avoid the actual original query by coming up with diversionary thoughts that avoid the actual question.
These are just some thoughts I had rambling around as I read the posts. I am most likely missing very sound and logical points as to why I may be totally off base. But isn't that why we play here??? Insatiable curiosity about others seems to be sooo much fun!!!!!!!!!!!!
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